After the hit of "The First Half of My Life", some women came to such a conclusion: You must not be a full-time wife, but you must have a job anyway, so as not to be dumped by men! In fact, this is a misunderstanding, the reason why Luo Zijun's marriage failed was not because she was a full-time wife, but because she believed in a sentence, that is, Chen Junsheng said before marriage, "I will support you for a lifetime". This sentence made her think that as long as she got married, she could get a living security from a man without having to work hard with her own hands. She believed it and did it, only to be wrong.

There is an old Chinese saying: marry a man and marry a man, dress and eat. This quote leads women to believe that they can get security of life from men by getting married. And marriage is still the embodiment of love, so this kind of security can not just meet food and clothing, but should be the highest treatment that a man can give. But when it comes to the highest treatment, it is not only in terms of materially enjoying the best of the family, but also in terms of spiritual satisfaction, in other words, all the affairs of the family and all the actions of all members must conform to "my" wishes, including "serving me". At this time, not only the big and small affairs of the family should be decided by "me", but the family members should also listen to my orders for me to drive. "I" became the "king" of the family, not only did I not take on family responsibilities, but I didn't even want to do my own things, but asked others to do it for "me". Because if we don't do this, we can't show that "I" have received "love", and if we don't take this situation to the extreme, we can't prove how high the quality of "love" "I" get.

As soon as things get to this point, problems arise. First of all, if a person takes relying on others instead of self-reliance as the basis for his own life, he will not regard the observance of objective laws as his code of conduct, because he only needs to keep making demands on others to satisfy his own wishes. He will only do what he wants, and only care whether his wishes are fulfilled or not. However, if a person does not follow the objective law, his desires will not be restricted, his behavior will be irrational, and his behavior will appear to be arbitrary, which is unacceptable. And if a person can enjoy the highest treatment, he will feel that he is superior to others, he will not treat others equally, he will not respect others, and he will force others to accept his wishes. In a family in such a state, the one who enjoys special treatment will only demand from the other, and will not care for the other. It's very emotional, but the party enjoying the special treatment must also do it, both in the enjoyment of privilege and in the preservation of privilege. Because although the rules stipulate that "I" have this privilege, if "I" behaves weakly, others will ignore "me" rights and then deprive "me" of their rights. So there were thoughts and behaviors like Luo Zijun who wanted to find out all the secrets of her husband and wanted to know all her husband's whereabouts.

This is the case when a person who has no or very few family responsibilities and whose personal expenses account for a large proportion of the family's expenditures, who contributes very little to the family, and who in turn requires a lot of energy from the family members to take care of him. And this person also dominates everything in the family, including the behavior of other family members, but he lacks the correct perception of things, and the decisions he makes are very inappropriate and difficult to accept. But he can't communicate with others, he demands that others must obey his wishes, but he never considers the feelings of others. At that time, this person will get the same evaluation as Chen Junsheng's evaluation of Luo Zijun: "She doesn't know anything, and she can't do anything well." But once a divorce is filed, this kind of person represented by Luo Zijun will immediately feel very aggrieved, and Luo Zijun will cry and say: "It was Chen Junsheng who married me home and told me not to work! It was he who promised me a perfect and happy life, and it was he who would support me for the rest of my life!" This is really true, everyone really followed this line of thought, but in the end, why couldn't they go on? That only shows that this line of thinking was wrong from the start!

In fact, in marriage, there is no question of who supports whom, but only the problem of two people working together to manage the marriage. The man said I will support you, I just hope that you will not go out to work and have more energy to take care of the family. If it backfires, he repents.

But if you say that, I'm afraid that many ladies will immediately object: "If we take care of the house and let the man run outside with confidence and boldness, won't the marriage fail faster? Isn't Qin Xianglian the best example?"

Qin Xianglian is indeed a typical case of taking care of the family but being betrayed by her husband, but this cannot be said that it is wrong to be a full-time wife to take care of the family, but how to protect the rights and interests of a full-time wife. First of all, we should raise our awareness to the level that "stay-at-home wife" is also a profession, and admit that taking care of the family is also a job and a labor. Since it is labor, it should be paid, but where does this reward come from? Naturally, it comes from the husband's economic income. The husband can devote himself to his career without any worries, and at the same time enjoy the comfortable family environment created by his wife, because his wife has taken on all the family responsibilities, so the husband's career achievements and income are not entirely the result of his personal efforts, but the result of cooperation with his wife, and the wife should share half of his total income as her own labor income. What about household expenses? Families naturally share their common expenses, and since their income is equally distributed, their expenses are naturally borne equally. As for the expenses of the husband and wife, it is natural that each of them shall pay from the income under his own name.

At this time, although the wife spent the money she received from her husband, she no longer received support from her husband, but earned it by her own labor. The husband should not think that the wife has no contribution to the family and ignore the wife's due status and rights in the family because the wife has not gone out to work. Since the husband and wife are in a cooperative relationship, the husband has the right to criticize and ask for correction if the wife does not fulfill her responsibilities to take care of the family or if she does not handle the housework well enough, and if the husband does not work hard enough in his career or does not do his job well enough, the wife also has the right to criticize and ask him to make corrections, because it is related to the family's income and quality of life.

Seeing this, some men may think: being a stay-at-home wife does not have to deal with complex interpersonal relationships and does not need to face fierce competition in the workplace, but it is too easy to share half of her husband's income, right? In fact, being a full-time wife is not easy at all. First of all, if you don't hire a nanny at home, cooking, laundry, buying rice and vegetables, cleaning up the house, etc. every day is very heavy labor, and these jobs are very trivial and difficult to quantify, and it takes a lot of effort to really be organized. In addition, stay-at-home wives must also know how to run the family, do a good job in the medium and long-term planning of the family, and maximize the benefits of family expenses. In addition, it is also necessary to properly handle the relationship between one's own small family and the relatives of the husband and wife's big family, as well as the various social relations and social problems that a family has to face. The working environment of the profession of full-time wives is limited to the family scope, which can easily cause a disconnection with the society and the times, and wives need to continue to learn and improve themselves in order to do their own work well.

Seeing this, some women may think: this is too difficult to be a stay-at-home wife, right? Moreover, since it is a job, there will be requirements, what should I do if I can't do it? Is it really like in the workplace, if you don't do a good job, you will leave? Although we define a full-time wife as a profession here, the relationship between a full-time wife and her husband is not an employment relationship, but a marriage relationship with a marriage certificate. The existence of the marital relationship is premised on the affection between the husband and wife, so it does not matter whether the housework is done well or not, the important thing is that the relationship between the husband and wife is still there. The wife did not handle the housework well, and the husband should have given more help in addition to criticizing and urging. Helping is voluntary work, but it is not completely unrewarded. What does the husband want in return? What is love? Love is understanding, it is caring, it is appreciation, it is liking from the heart.

When my husband returns home after a hard day, he hopes that he will not only be comfortable in the environment, but also mentally comfortable. No matter how much hard work and pressure he endured outside, if he could get his wife's understanding and comfort when he returned home, the husband would feel great satisfaction, and he would not complain even if he helped his wife do more housework. If you come home and face the accusations and complaints of your wife, even if your wife tidies up the house well, your husband will not feel comfortable. If the wife doesn't clean up the house well in addition to blaming and complaining, it is purely driving her husband out!

Of course, love is mutual. The husband should also have understanding, appreciation, care, and heartfelt affection for his wife, and the wife has not handled the housework well, so she cannot blame and complain, but should help and guide more, but the premise is that the wife is very hard and motivated, if the wife refuses to work hard and improve under various excuses, or even refuses to bear it, then the gods will not be able to save you. In the same way, if the husband's career is not going well for a while and the income is not high, the wife should also care more and support more, instead of blaming and complaining, but the premise is that the husband is very hard and motivated, then the wife should go out of the family and participate in social work to support the family with the husband. If the husband is lazy and refuses to take on family responsibilities, then the wives still have to find another way out.

In short, as long as wives do not have the idea of relying on others to support them, and exercise the good professionalism of full-time wives, then no matter how bad the life is, they can live a good life. On the contrary, if the wives still want to rely on others to support them, and they still want to rely on others to solve everything for you, no matter how happy their lives are, they will end up in a mess!