On a summer night in 2019, after he celebrated Cen Ge's thirty-eighth birthday, he died in the hospital with a smile.

When thunderstorms are blowing, there are always frequent crossing accidents, and Yan Leng caught the last train of the crossing, but he was still a little late.

He went back to 1998, the second day of the Lunar New Year, when he was sixteen years old.

"Smack!" Yan Leng looked at the date on his phone, almost thinking it was a dream, and then slapped himself hard, but the hot pain on his face made his heart surge with ecstasy.

He really went back to twenty years ago, so, can he see Cen Ge again, can they start again, but in the next second, he was like he was on the edge of the abyss, his heart was cold, and he suddenly pulled his legs and ran to the basement.

On the second day of the Lunar New Year in 98, this day is the regret of his life.

On Chinese New Year's Eve this year, he went with Cen Ge and Song Renliang to sing K all night and drank a lot of wine, and later, Song Renliang drank unconscious and was picked up by the people of Qinglongmen. And he took advantage of the madness of drunkenness to force Cen Ge to spend the whole night. After being in a coma and waking up in pain several times, the madness of that night was the regret of Yan Leng's bleeding heart.

That's why he didn't give up, took the unconscious Cen Ge home, stripped naked and imprisoned him in the basement.

After Cen Ge sobered up, he didn't scold Yan Leng, nor did he question hoarsely, he just pursed his lips and didn't say a word.

Yan Leng now remembers Cen Ge's appearance at that time, with a faint sneer in his good-looking phoenix eyes, only when he is delirious in pain, he will suddenly become indistinguishable, revealing a trace of pain and struggle.

From beginning to end, Cen Ge only whispered a sentence when he was in a coma, but this sentence was like a thorn in his heart, and it hurt terribly when he touched it.

He didn't know if he was asking Yan Leng or asking himself, was he really wrong?

It wasn't until a few years later that Yan Leng understood that Cen Ge was not asking him, nor himself, but God.

But ten years later, when Cen Ge was no longer there, Yan Leng finally understood that Cen Ge had never regretted it.

Just like Cen Ge gave him his eyes back then, just like Cen Ge gave him his heart back then, he never regretted it.

In this life, Yan Leng is the only one who regrets it.

When he first saw Cen Ge's back, Yan Leng felt that Cen Ge was different from others, and at that time he couldn't tell what the difference was, gradually, gradually, he forgot that it was such a pair of eyes that had attracted him. It wasn't until after Cen Ge left, Yan Leng counted their things one by one, recalling their first meeting, that he suddenly remembered that what was missing in Cen Ge's eyes was worldly greed and desire.

How ironic, when he suspected that Cen Ge had betrayed him, he actually forgot such a pair of eyes, but a qiē was nothing more than a person's remorse.

At the beginning, Song Renliang did not persuade him, but how could Yan Leng at that time take it to heart? The ignorance of his youth made him regret it all his life.

"You say you like his high spirits, so why do you need people to bow down to you?"

Yan Leng dismissed, "Cen Ge is nothing, it's just a plaything." After conquering, there is no point at all. ”

I still remember that Song Renliang was silent for a while before saying to him, "You will regret it." ”

Yan Leng disagreed.

Now that I think about it, it turns out that in the eyes of others, everything is so clear, only he who is loved by Cen Ge is a complete fool, hurting the person who loves him the most, and is still complacent, forcing him to bow his head, forcing him to be soft, obviously he likes it badly, but he must say things he doesn't like.

In the end, who did you fool?

Later, he and Lin Wenyou fought for a piece of land together, but when bidding, the other party knew the reserve price in advance, and maliciously calculated, he "coincidentally" learned that Cen Ge was Lin Wenyou's son, so he decided that Cen Ge betrayed him and vented his anger on Cen Ge.

Such a proud person, who has never bent his back in the slightest, has been tormented by three months of day and night torture and lost his vitality. After a serious illness, his ribs bulged out one by one, and Yan Leng at that time regretted it in his heart, but he sued himself that it was Cen Ge who betrayed him, and he was right!

Until Cen Ge suddenly disappeared from the villa without a trace, until he found out that he had wronged Cen Ge so completely, he began to drive aimlessly, but he had a car accident, his eyes were damaged, and he lay in the hospital for three months, and Cen Ge completely lost news because of the car accident.

Later, the doctor told him that the retina of his left eye was ruptured in a car accident, but a person rushed to the hospital and donated the retina of his left eye in time, and the person was still very young. When Yan Leng heard this, he thought of Cen Ge for some reason, he suddenly had a flash of inspiration, a dead horse was a live horse doctor, and forced Song Renliang, who was most likely to send Cen Ge away, and learned that the result he hoped for but didn't want was really Cen Ge.

Yan Leng was already in his twenties at this time, and he was like suddenly understanding the word Cen Ge overnight, and went crazy to find Cen Ge, but only found Cen Ge who was teaching in a school for the blind seven years later, Yan Leng found that Cen Ge was not only blind in his left eye, but now he is blind in both eyes.

Cen Ge said to him, when I was the loneliest, it was you who pulled me out, whether it was true or not, it was a life-saving straw that I couldn't put in my hand, so don't be sad, it's not your fault.

Cen Ge said, we just don't trust enough, I like you, but you don't love me, so don't be sad, it's not your fault.

Cen Ge said, you are so proud and arrogant, I can't watch you lose your eyes and become blind, so don't be sad, it's not your fault.

Cen Ge said, you can go, there is nothing to owe or owe, you can never be sad because of me.

Later, Cen Ge's body was not as good as day by day, Yan Leng tried all his methods, but only snatched back Cen Ge's time for half a year, during this half a year, they no longer quarreled, and they no longer said sorry, they bought a home that belonged to the two of them, and lived the same life as ordinary people.

Yan Leng didn't ask Cen Ge why his eyes were blind, and Cen Ge didn't say anything, they were like friends like this, and they were at peace like never before.

In the end, Cen Ge still did not survive the New Year half a year later, and on the Chinese New Year's Eve of 09, amid the deafening sound of firecrackers, he left quietly.

After Cen Ge left, Yan Leng dreamed of him night after night, dreamed of their past, dreamed of them walking their dog on the path together, dreamed of Cen Ge cooking in the kitchen, Yan Leng hugged him in the back, grinding his ears and temples, dreamed that they played the piano together, dreamed that they watched the sunset together, but in the end, no matter how beautiful the dream was, it would become his torture for him, he shouted hoarsely in his dream, but he just touched a clammy bed under him.

Yan Leng tortured himself by an unknown number of means, wanting the pain to help him atone for his sins, and he felt more comfortable when it hurt.

In the past ten years, Yan Leng has forbidden his desire for ten years, interrupted countless whips, and has layers of scars on his body, he deprived himself of the right to use painkillers, and when he was whipped, he rinsed directly with alcohol, but this kind of pain has lost its effect on him little by little, and he knows that when the pain and blood can no longer repay his debts, it is his limit.

On that thunderstorm night, Yan Leng felt as if his heart had been constantly cut, and the only thing he thought about at that time was not to let him go to hell, he wanted to go to him.

It took Yan Leng ten years to know who he loved the most, and it took him twenty years to figure out how to love someone, and his whole life was constantly regretting.

Yan Leng stumbled to the basement, no matter what, he was really grateful to God in his heart, he thanked God for not being used to seeing people like him die lightly, and gave him a lifetime of time, and he came to atone for his sins in this life.

-- Regret, how many mistakes are there?