Chapter 758: Giving His Wife and Son

Song Zheng's cross talk level is actually at the level of a ticket holder at best, but his identity is special, and even the live effect is magnified.

Originally, when people saw the propaganda of Deyun Society, they said that Song Zheng would perform on stage, and they thought that it was nothing more than going on stage to chat with Guo Banzhu, or simply being ridiculed by Guo Banzhu and promoting his movie by the way.

No one expected that Song Zheng would really wear a coat and talk about cross talk on stage seriously, and what surprised people even more was that this cross talk was really like that.

The live performance continued, and Song Zheng gradually entered the state, and continued to say: "I went back to your house and handed over your 174 yuan to your daughter-in-law. ”

Yu Qian responded: "This is deep feelings." ”

Song Zheng made a gesture of false support, helping the person up with one hand, and giving people a smooth breath with the other hand on the person's chest: "Come, sister-in-law, you are smooth, don't break yourself." ”

"Huh?" Seeing this action, Yu Qian was stunned for a moment.

The audience understood first, and their eyes widened very widely, and they immediately laughed and applauded.

Yu Qian only reacted at this time, raised his throat, yelled, and opened Song Zheng's hand: "Where are you going to be smooth here, is there such a smooth breath as you?"

Seeing Yu Qian's reaction, the audience laughed even more.

Song Zheng only then understood, hurriedly moved his hands back, and smiled awkwardly: "Mistaken, mistaken, I'm used to it." ”

Yu Qian scolded: "What are you used to?" ”

The audience laughed again, from just being smooth to now, the audience's laughter has never stopped, this skill in cross talk is called "late", it is generally a skill of praise, when some baggage comes out, praise cannot be picked up immediately.

He must be "late" for a while, so that the audience can understand it first, and then he can express the audience's psychological reaction in a hurry, so that it can be effective.

This is a kind of skill, of course, it is not necessary to be "late" for a while to hold all the baggage, some are to follow immediately, there is a difference.

For an excellent cross talk artist like Aunt Yu, the grasp of every burden can be said to be just right, it was originally just a small burden, but as soon as he took it like this, the laughing fruit could be magnified several times immediately.

Song Zheng continued: "My sister-in-law took the money, crying, crying, she couldn't stop, and after more than ten seconds, she finally stopped crying." ”

"Huh, more than ten seconds?

Song Zheng ignored Yu Qian, and then said: "Sister-in-law put the money away, and went to the kitchen at home to bring out a few catties of celery." ”

Yu Qian asked suspiciously, "What are you doing with celery?"

Song Zheng made a woman's figure and made a delicate and pitiful look: "Big brother, you send these catties of celery to the boss of the coal mine, we are all kind people, just wipe this fraction." ”

Yu Qian was completely dumbfounded this time: "This is still selling celery?"

Song Zheng was still comforting him: "Kind-hearted, kind-hearted, your family is kind-hearted." ”

After a lot of burdens, the two of them were very good, and the audience responded very well, these burdens were all helped by Guo Banzhu, the old book was not like this, Guo Banzhu changed a lot, after he changed it like this, the on-site effect immediately came out, and the burdens were one after another.

This is why Guo Banzhu can be popular, and those who say the so-called new cross talk can only be half-dead, Guo Banzhu has always insisted that the big framework of traditional cross talk remains unchanged, the so-called big framework remains the same, which refers to the development of cross talk, the direction of the living road remains the same, and the overall routine remains the same, but the content in this can be filled with other things.

Traditional cross talk is outdated, but what is outdated is only the content, not the framework, Guo Banzhu filled the cross talk content into more modern things, and then picked up these old jokes and reused them, the effect will naturally be different.

Song Zheng was still talking to Yu Qian: "This is a life of death, it is friendship, you are dead, I am alive, I am willing to help you take care of the funeral, help you take care of your family, and help you beg for money, this is friendship." ”

Yu Qian stretched out his hand to stop him and said, "Okay, don't say what you are begging for, don't be ashamed, ask for more than a hundred catties of celery back?"

Song Zheng was still dissatisfied, and argued: "The money was given by your boss, what can I do? Besides, I also help your daughter-in-law to get her down, why don't you say this?"

"Fuck off. Yu Qian roared.

Yu Qian's sad and angry appearance made the audience laugh again.

"Alright, don't talk about celery, hurry up and finish the last one. ”

Song Zheng asked him, "Which one?"

Yu Qian said: "Through the house, the wife does not avoid it, and entrusts the wife and the son to the friendship." ”

Song Zheng said with a smile: "If you want to say that you want to give your wife and children, you have to take the two of us as an example." ”

Yu Qian asked, "I still have to be crushed to death by the coal mine?"

Song Zheng hurriedly shook his head: "No, no, no." ”

Yu Qian asked again: "The car crashed and died?"

Song Zheng shook his head: "No." ”

Yu Qian sneered and asked, "Then what is my way of dying this time?"

Song Zheng smiled and comforted him: "Don't worry, you don't have to die this time, it's a good thing this time." ”

Yu Qian didn't believe him, and looked at Song Zheng and sneered a few times.

Song Zheng said: "Why don't you believe it, this time it's really a good thing, you're going to get rich, you're going to make a fortune." ”

"Oh?" Hearing that he was going to make a fortune, Yu Qian became a little interested.

Song Zheng asked: "You have a third uncle who went to the United States to develop in the early years, is there such a thing?"

Yu Qian nodded: "Yes, there is such a thing." ”

Song Zheng said: "Now that they have returned to China, they have found you and want to take you to the United States." ”

Yu Qian asked, "What can I do in the United States?"

Song Zheng said: "Make money, what else can you do, your third uncle has developed in the United States, earned tens of billions, and now plans to develop laver planting technology on the west coast of the United States, and wants to find a relative of his own to help." ”

Yu Qian was stunned for a moment and asked, "Americans also eat seaweed." ”

Song Zheng said: "That's not it, seaweed fried sirloin steak, seaweed soaked in red wine, seaweed wrapped in foie gras, these are all famous dishes." ”

Yu Qian was amused: "I haven't heard of it." ”

Song Zheng said: "Can you understand the taste of other Americans?"

Yu Qian admitted defeat and said: "Okay, okay, I don't understand, I don't understand, you go on, why did I go to the United States to join my third uncle." ”

Song Zheng continued: "Your third uncle asked you to be a seaweed developer. ”

Yu Qian's face was full of disgust: "What kind of broken name is this?"

Song Zheng said: "The name is ugly, but the salary is high." ”

"How much?" asked Yu Qian.

Song Zheng stretched out an index finger, gritted his teeth, and said loudly: "Ten million." ”

"Really?" Yu Qian exclaimed, his eyes lit up.

Song Zheng continued to say calmly: "It's still US dollars." ”

"Ho ~~~~~~" Yu Qian elongated the tone.

Song Zheng's words were not shocking: "A month." ”

Yu Qian couldn't calm down, his eyes were as wide as a cow's eyes, and his mouth was about to flow down: "Really give so much." ”

Song Zheng swore and said, "Then can there be a fake?"

Yu Qian hurriedly roared: "Then hurry up, why are you still stunned?"

Song Zheng said: "It's no problem to go, but there is a small problem here." ”

Yu Qian asked, "What's the problem?"

Song Zheng said: "If you want to go, you can only go alone, your third uncle doesn't want you to take your wife and children with you, and you must come back in five years." ”

"Huh?" Yu Qian was dumbfounded.

Song Zheng continued to tempt: "10 million US dollars a month, converted into RMB, almost more than 80 million a month, are you going or not?"

Yu Qian gritted his teeth and said, "I'll go." ”

Song Zheng smiled and asked again, "Then what about your wife and children?"

Yu Qian said: "Put it with my parents, or send them back to their parents' house." ”

Song Zheng shook his head and said: "No, there is no one in her mother's family, and there is no one in your family, I just said it, the death of three relatives and six deaths, no, you are such a friend of mine, there are no others, at this time you want to go abroad, what should you do with your wife and children?"

In the last sentence, Song Zheng asked very loudly.

Yu Qian was dumbfounded.

The audience listening next to them couldn't help laughing, they had all heard this work before, but when they heard Song Zheng say it, it felt really different, probably because of the celebrity effect, which was also the reason why Mr. Zhang asked Song Zheng to come to the scene.

After a long time, Yu Qian gritted his teeth, twisted his face and said, "That's okay, then I can only entrust people to you." ”

Song Zheng looked at Yu Qian, licked his lips, and asked with an ambiguous smile: "Entrust your daughter-in-law to me, are you relieved?"

Yu Qian looked at Song Zheng, his teeth were about to be crushed, and a few words popped out from between his teeth: "Don't worry." ”

Song Zheng rolled up his sleeves and said eagerly: "Then send your sister-in-law over quickly." ”

Yu Qian scolded angrily: "What are you doing here, is there such a thing as you?"

All the audience laughed.

Song Zheng was also laughing there, and when the audience's laughter stopped a little, he said: "Isn't it that you want to entrust your wife and children to me, so if you don't send them over, how can you entrust them to me?"

Yu Qian glared and argued, "Then what are you doing with your sleeves?"

Song Zheng explained: "I'm ready." ”

Yu Qian scolded: "What are you ready?"

Song Zheng said: "I'm ready to help you take care of your daughter-in-law and children, entrust your wife and son to your wife and children, you have to entrust your daughter-in-law and children to me, a friend." ”

Yu Qian sneered and asked, "Then do I still want to send people to your mansion?"

Song Zheng hurriedly waved his hand: "Don't, don't, don't send it to my house." ”

Yu Qian asked curiously, "Why is this?"

Song Zheng clapped his hands and said, "You said that your daughter-in-law is the age, my age, and the tongue is crushing people to death in these years, it's not good to say, I can't ignore this." ”

As he spoke, Song Zheng patted his face with his hand.

Yu Qian helped Song Zheng explain: "I'm still a face-saving person." ”

Song Zheng said: "That's right." ”

Yu Qian asked again: "Then how do you plan to place my daughter-in-law and children?"

Song Zheng said: "I will rent a small house on Qianmen Street, and place your daughter-in-law and children in it, I don't live far away, and I can send some food and clothing from time to time." ”

Yu Qian asked in surprise: "You rent a house, you give money?"

Song Zheng said as a matter of course: "Of course, you don't want to think about what kind of friendship the two of us have, this is the friendship of entrusting our wives and children." ”

Yu Qian was particularly surprised.

Song Zheng continued: "On the fifteenth day of the first month of every month, I put all those things I need to eat, those daily necessities and so on, and put them at the door of the rented house. ”

Yu Qian said very politely: "It's all here, go in and sit for a while, drink a glass of water or something." ”

Song Zheng hurriedly waved his hand: "Don't, at her age, at my age, this year's tongue crushes people to death, it's not good to say, I have to take care of this." ”

As he spoke, Song Zheng patted his face with his hand again.

This time, Yu Qian was really happy, and said with a smile: "That's good, that's good, just put it at the door, you are really my good brother." ”

Song Zheng responded: "No, the friendship between the two of us is here." ”

"Good, good. Yu Qian's face was full of smiles.

Song Zheng also laughed a few times and said: "This day has passed day by day, and five years have passed quickly, and you have earned hundreds of millions of dollars by planting seaweed in the United States for five years, and you are ready to return to China." ”

Yu Qian also said excitedly: "This is good." ”

Song Zheng said: "I have to go to your house to tell your daughter-in-law the good news, this time I can't help but go in, when I first arrived at your house, your daughter-in-law was holding your two-year-old son in her arms, I went over and quickly said, sister-in-law ~~~~~~~"

Yu Qian didn't react at the beginning, and said with a smile: "My two-year-old son~~~~"

When all the laughter of the audience came out, he suddenly woke up, and here he used the technique of "late", he hurriedly stopped the chattering Song Zheng: "You wait a while, I went abroad for five years, why is my son only two years old." ”

Song Zheng explained to him: "This is two. ”

Yu Qian understood: "Oh, it's two." ”

The audience clapped and laughed again, and he understood: "You wait, I have been abroad for five years, why do I have a second son?"

Song Zheng waved his hand and said indifferently: "It's not normal to have another second son, your third daughter is still breastfeeding." ”

Yu Qian was about to explode: "Why is there a third girl, this is the case, you explain it to me clearly." ”

Song Zheng also said with disgust: "What are you yelling about, what are you anxious about?"

Yu Qian's eyes were about to pop out: "I'm not in a hurry, I have two more children on this trip, I'm not in a hurry?"

Song Zheng saw Yu Qian glaring at him, but he was dissatisfied first: "Why are you staring at me, what does this have to do with me, I don't go in all day during the day." ”

Yu Qian didn't believe him at all: "You can't come out all night at night, right?" ”

Song Zheng said dissatisfiedly: "What are you talking about, am I that kind of person?"

Yu Qian sneered a few times, and at this time, the effect of praise was reflected, and he wanted to break the crooked topic back to the correct line: "I believe it or not, I don't care, I want to hear how you told my daughter-in-law about my return." ”

The line was broken back to the main line of the story, and Song Zheng continued to say: "After I get to your house, I will tell your daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, Yu Qian will be back soon, let's discuss." ”

Yu Qian was puzzled: "Discuss?"

Song Zheng continued: "Your daughter-in-law also said, what to discuss, this matter, you can do it yourself." ”

Yu Qian scratched his head and said, "Why do I sound so awkward." ”

"We were discussing it here, and your second son came over, hugged my leg and shouted, Daddy. I rounded my mouth and pumped it over. Song Zheng made movements.

Yu Qian was surprised: "Yo, is this still on the mark?"

Song Zheng shouted loudly: "Call me Dad, don't call me Dad, just like your eldest brother, call me uncle, do you understand?" ”

Yu Qian said: "Then there is another three daughters, you can't ask for instructions?"

Song Zheng said: "That's still breastfeeding, I don't understand anything." ”

Yu Qian sneered a few times.

Song Zheng said: "In another week, I will also train the second son, and the eldest son has also instructed you, and you will come back." I picked you up from the station, the family had already put the hot pot in place, and the roast duck of Quanjude was also called, you sat in it, I was accompanied on the left, your daughter-in-law was on the right, and the children were on the opposite side, surrounded by a group, and took turns pouring wine, you can really be called a good wife and a beautiful child, prosperous and wealthy, rich and glorious, you say, can you not have my friend?"

Yu Qian picked up the fan on the table and was about to hit Song Zheng, scolding: "Is it okay without you as a friend? What do I want you to do as a friend, I can't beat you to death?"

Song Zheng dodged for a while: "What are you doing, why are you beating me?"

Yu Qian's anger did not subside: "Why am I beating you, what are you talking about, where did these two sons and three daughters come from, you haven't made it clear to me." ”

Song Zheng hurriedly explained: "No, haven't you been abroad for five years, you have been out for so long and only come back, everyone is full of children and grandchildren, you come back and see, you still have a wife and a son, how bad is this." ”

Yu Qian scolded: "Then I don't need your help." ”

Saying that, Yu Qian wanted to hit Song Zheng with a fan again.

Song Zheng hurriedly hid and begged for mercy: "Don't fight, don't fight, listen to my explanation, you have to listen to my explanation." ”

Yu Qian stopped: "Say, if you can't say anything ugly today, see if I don't kill you." ”

Song Zheng said loudly: "You have been abroad for five years and there is no news, who knows if you have an accident abroad, your old Yu family is such a lone seedling, your daughter-in-law is such a son, if something happens to the child, won't your old Xue family cut off the seed? I am thinking about you, can I watch the friendship between the two of us?" I hugged a son for you from my own home, thinking that even if something happened, there would be another one who could pass on the incense, and seeing that you only have a son in the family, no daughter, I hugged a daughter for you again, just to let you have both children and daughters, so why do they call me dad, because I am really their father, I am all for you. ”

After saying this, Yu Qian was stupid, and hurriedly said: "Ouch, ouch, I was wrong, I blamed you." ”

Song Zheng clutched his chest and made a painful look: "Making friends like this, alas, I'm unlucky." ”

Yu Qian was about to cry: "I was wrong, I was wrong, you are my good brother, I knelt down for you." ”

Song Zheng shook his head dejectedly and said, "You hear clearly, these two children are mine!"

Yu Qian nodded again and again: "I know, I know!"

Song Zheng then said: "But your daughter-in-law gave birth to it!"

"you!"

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