She didn't say it, as if she had expectations for the man, but in fact she didn't have confidence in herself. Don't blame your sister, she is bitter enough, she has been bitter, since she was a child, she has not had a few good days. ”

The next day, Xu Yao came to Xu Lan, and she said so.

However, he couldn't fully understand his sister at that time, he hated more, hated iron and steel.

My sister's life is ruined.

At noon, Song Zhongji knocked on the courtyard door with two fish, he stood in the courtyard, and said to Xu Ru, who had a big belly: "Is Ah Rong here, the fish he asked me to touch said that it was for you to make up for your body." ”

"Thank you, he and Ah Guang went out. Xu Ru said.

"Thank you, five cents. Song Zhongji grinned.

"......." Xu Ru was stunned and nodded: "I'll get you the money." ”

"Don't, it's inconvenient for you, I'll wait for Ah Rong to come back and ask him for it. ”

Saying that, Song Zhongji scooped a basin of water in the basin and raised the half-dead fish into it.

This man is idle, he doesn't like to work in the field, he is good at fishing, catching birds and fighting in the jungle, and he is the only one who did not "comment" on Xu Ru, probably a rotten person himself, and he is not qualified to talk about others. Maybe he wasn't interested in chewing his tongue, or maybe he was cowardly and was afraid that Xu Yao would beat him.

The day of childbirth is fast coming.

Mr. Xu Ru's, he didn't go to the county hospital, he didn't have the conditions to go to the hospital at that time, and he was generally born in the countryside with a village doctor, which was slightly better than a barefoot doctor, and he studied medicine for a few years, but his level must be very poor, otherwise he would not have been in the countryside, but would have entered the hospital.

Xujia Town is too poor to have a health center, and there is a health center in the next town.

From noon, the amniotic water broke and began to have labor pains, until ten o'clock in the evening, when the child was born.

Boy.

The dust settled.

As a mother for the first time in her life, Xu Ru threw away all her troubles, leaving only her mother's love.

Xu Yao felt that he should have hated this child, but when he saw the tender red child sleeping in swaddling clothes, he couldn't open his eyes to see the world, clenched his little fists, and slept quietly.

His heart suddenly relented.

Due to malnutrition, the child was born only 2.4 kilograms, which is medium to small.

"How cute is the little doll, have you chosen a name for him?"

Xu Lan, who had a big belly, watched from the side, smiling with a smile on her face.

Xu Ru shook his head and said helplessly: "Ah Rong refuses to help get it, he still has a thorn in his heart." ”

Xu Lan said angrily: "Don't pay attention to him, I have prepared a few names here, do you want to choose one?"

"What's the name?"

"Qin Hao, Qin Xiaofan...... You pick one and change your surname to Xu. Xu Lan said with great interest: "Xu Xiaofan is not very good, it is better to call Xu Hao." ”

Xu Ru nodded and said with a smile: "Okay." ”

"By the way, I brought milk powder here, you use it first, when I give birth to a baby, I give more milk, there should be no shortage." Xu Lan said.

Due to Xu Ru's body and bones, she has been malnourished for a long time, resulting in no milk. When it came to her son's rations, she didn't refuse again after all.

A very realistic and serious problem is in front of us, the sisters and brothers who have been dependent on each other since childhood are still dependent on each other, and they have a little more life.

In the case of the postpartum weakness of the sister who carried the beams independently, life seemed unsustainable.

It was not easy to raise children, and later statistics showed that more than 40 million children died in the 90s.

That night, Xu Ru looked at the child and was silent.

The next morning, he called Xu Yao to his room alone and asked him, "Do you miss college?" ”

Xu Yao was speechless, and his gaze fell on the baby's face.

The little baby was in his sleep, and suddenly his small body trembled, and the weak mosquito moaned a few times.

Xu Ru was busy comforting the child.

"Don't worry about him, you say, do you want to. Xu Ru said.

"Yes!" Xu Yao said.

He thought, like never before.

Reading can change destiny and restore dignity.

He longs to get ahead, to get out of poverty, and even more so to regain his sister's lost dignity.

Xu Ru nodded.

A few days later, one night, Xu Ru was suddenly awakened by an urgent knock on the door, and the baby was crying.

"Ah Rong, Sister Ru," Xu Guang said in a crying voice: "My sister fell." ”

A hard banging on the door.

Xu Ru sat up in shock, her sleepiness disappeared, and before she could call someone, Xu Yao from the next room had already rushed to the courtyard, opened the door, and Xu Guang stood at the door with a worried face.

"What's going on. ”

"My sister slipped on the toilet at night, she, she's all covered in blood....."

When Xu Ru heard this, her face turned pale, and she didn't care about comforting the child, and shouted: "Ah Rong, Ah Rong ....."

No one answered her, Xu Yao had already rushed out of the house with Xu Guang.

.......

At five o'clock in the morning the next day, the sky was bright, and Xu Ru, who had not slept all night, finally waited for her younger brother to come back.

"We took her to the health center, Xiaolan was already delirious at the time, and she couldn't give birth smoothly at all, she said there was no way, the fetus may have been injured, let us send it to the hospital, the car from the health center took us to the county seat, the hospital gave her a caesarean section, the child was alive when she first came out, but she didn't survive two hours, the doctor didn't save her, she went to ........" Xu Yao's eyes were bloodshot.

"What about Xiaolan?" Xu Ru cried.

She hadn't woken up yet, Ah Guang was in the hospital, squatting outside the ward and crying. Xu Yao covered his face and said in a trembling voice: "A good child, if you say no, it will be gone." ”

After a while, Xu Ru said: "Ah Rong, let's go to the county seat, now." ”

It was six o'clock in the morning when I arrived at the hospital, there was no one in the hospital, the air was filled with the smell of disinfectant water, and one or two patients could be seen on the benches in the corridor, hanging drips.

The nurse on the night shift was tired.

In the small ward, Xu Ru saw Xu Lan, she had woken up, looking at the ceiling with wide eyes, like a lifeless paper flower.

Xu Guang sat on the edge of the hospital bed with red eyes.

"Ah Rong, Ah Guang, you go out for a while, I have something to say to Xiao Lan. Xu Ru said, holding the child in her arms.

After the two left, she sat on the edge of the bed and whispered, "The child is gone." ”

One sentence, as if to wake up Xu Lan on the verge of despair, her expressionless face, her eyelashes trembled, and then she began to cry, crying heartbroken, a mother who had lost her child.

"There's nothing you can't get over. Xu Ru said: "After so many years, it is all thanks to this sentence that my sister can survive until now." Every time I despair, I think about Ah Rong, and there is hope in my heart again. You've got a baby, you can't break down. ”

"Ah Guang said it was a son. Xu Lan said softly.

There was an eerie silence in her expression.

"I had my first child, a girl, and he didn't say anything, but I knew he wanted a son. ”

"I thought, since I married into the Qin family, I should give birth to someone for him who can pass on the lineage. ”

"The child is gone, and now it's so strict....... My dad didn't want me to have another one, so I had a fight with my parents. A person like him, without this child, even if he wants a son again, he will not let me have another life. ”

"Ah Guang said it was a son...... He had always wanted a son..... I can't lose this child, I can't lose his..... Woo woo, my child. ”

At first, he was able to speak steadily, but gradually became emotional, Xu Lan cried and convulsed, and spoke incoherently.

Xu Ru put the baby in her arms beside her and said in a deep voice: "In the future, he will be your son." ”

She spoke softly, and the expression on her face was complicated, intertwined with reluctance and pain.

Xu Lan stopped crying and looked at her without saying a word.

"He is your son. Xu Ru repeated.

"Are you comforting me?"

"No, I'm serious. Xu Ru said.

"Why?"

"Ah Rong said that he missed college, and I could not afford to provide for him to study, let alone raise this child. With a woman with a bad reputation like me, who can I marry?" Xu Ru smiled sadly: "The child and Ah Rong are my burden, I can't bear the fate of both of them at the same time, I have to give up one." ”

Xu Ru trembled her fingertips and stroked the child's cheeks: "Maybe in your eyes, the birth of this child is a mistake, so between the two, I choose Ah Rong." I will bear my mistakes, and I will bear all the pain and regret in the future. At least I'm still right about my parents. ”

"You're right, a child can't live without a father, Xiaolan, you can give him a better family and a better environment for growth. He can grow up carefree, and he doesn't have to worry about being scolded as a wild seed when he grows up in the future. ”

"Your husband wants a son, and you can imagine how sad he will be when he learns the bad news. Are you afraid that because of this incident, it will become a heart-to-heart pair between your husband and wife? ”

Xu Ru burst into tears: "Xiaolan, let's think of us saving each other." ”

Xu Lan stretched out her hand and wanted to touch the child, but at the moment of touching, she retracted her hand like an electric shock.

She was stunned for a long time, "Sister Ru, from today onwards, this child is mine, and it has nothing to do with your family." I will raise him, give him the best environment, and raise him as my own son. You and Ah Rong will not be able to go back in the future. ”

"Good. Xu Ru said.

When she said this, her whole body collapsed at once.

"What do you need me to do for you?"

“....... In the future, when he grows up, he will take him to Xujia Town to see me every summer. ”

"Good. ”

Outside the door, two teenagers were standing.

"What are you two doing standing at the door? The doctor in the white coat walked to the door of the ward.

Both teenagers burst into tears, and the doctor was not surprised.

He pushed the door in, glanced at the ward, and held a stack of reports in his hand: "You came last night, the doctor left work last night, and I am in charge of your ward." Mourning, I'll re-register here, what's the name. ”

Xu Lan opened her mouth.

Xu Ru said: "Xu Ru!"

"Xu Ru, right? The doctor brushed a few strokes, "After a while, I will ask the nurse to take you for an examination, and you should pay more attention to your body after the miscarriage, otherwise you will fall into the root of the disease." ”

.......

Soon, rumors spread in Xujia Town.

Xu Ru's child died, and the wild seed who was pregnant outside had a thin life. Xu Lan, who came to Xujia Town to raise a fetus, gave birth to a big fat boy after recuperating in the hospital for a month.

Later, Xu Ru got married, married to the man who had never "commented" on himself, a man who was idle and did not do his job.

An unmarried woman who is pregnant, a man who eats and is lazy.

It's a good match, isn't it?

Time goes back to many days ago, and the day after Xu Yao said that he wanted to go to college, Song Zhongji sent fish again.

"Ah Rong asked you to send fish again?" Xu Ru said embarrassedly: "I'm sorry, I don't have much money at home." ”

After sitting and eating for so long, there is really no money.

"I don't need money, the folks in the countryside are just two fish. Song Zhongji said: "Aren't you pregnant, you have to make up for your body....... Anyway, we've known each other since childhood. ”

Xu Ru was stunned, hesitated, hesitated, "Do you have a partner now?" ”

"Who wants to marry me? Song Zhongji scratched his head.

"Then you have a wife. ”

Asking why is this, it's a little strange, Song Zhongji said: "Don't look at me I like to gamble, but whether I win or lose, I save a little money, save it, and my wife already has it." ”

"Will you marry me, then? ”

"I don't have a son. ”

"Don't worry, I will give away the child. ”

"Really?"

"But you have to help me provide for Ah Rong to study. ”

.........

For Xu Ru, instead of giving it to others, giving it to her best friend who grew up is the best ending.

Song Relay is also considered trustworthy, and weak men have the advantage of being weak.

On the day Xu Lan left, Xu Yao stood outside the town and watched the bus go away.

Never a smoker, he squatted on the side of the road and smoked a whole pack of cigarettes.

Later, Xu Yao went to college as he wished, and got ahead as he wished.

But he lost money to his sister, and he couldn't pay it off in this life.

He regretted that morning countless times, regretting himself and saying: Yes!

In the years that followed, he rarely set foot in Xujia Town, and he married Miss Qianjin in Wencheng and settled in Wencheng.

People in Xujiazhen said that this grass chicken flew up the branch and became a golden phoenix, forgetting Ben, in fact, he was afraid to face his sister.

Every time he faced his sister's aging face, he would think of that unbearable past.

"On the day she died, she said a lot to me, saying that she had not disappointed her parents and that I had finally come out on top. But I know what she wants to say most is the word "Aze". We've been trying to change our fate all our lives, but I've never been able to change the past in my life. ”

Xu Yao sat in front of the grave, his expensive suit stained with dust.

"After my sister died, my biggest obsession in my life is not to get ahead, but to bring you here one day, point to this monument, and say to you: She is your biological mother. ”

"It was her greatest wish before she died, she didn't say it, but I knew it. It is because of me that you mother and son have been separated for more than 20 years, and everything is my fault and my responsibility. ”

This is the biggest pain in his life.

So he went crazy and asked Qin Ze to "recognize his ancestors and return to his ancestors", wanting to make up for his mistakes back then.

I want to make my conscience better.

"But we promised Xiaolan that we would never mention this matter again in our lives. As long as she doesn't agree, I won't take the initiative to say it. ”

Qin Ze said astringently: "That is, my dad ..... Didn't know about it. ”

"It doesn't matter. Xu Yao said.

"Aze, don't tell your dad the truth, it may be your mother's fault for hiding it from him back then, but this kind of thing can only be kept hidden, and the longer it goes, the more you can't say it. Xu Guang's voice was almost pleading.

This is very important, very important.

Qin Zexin said.

He had read the old man's diary and had points in his heart, but he hoped that the old man knew about it, but he rotted it in his stomach and pretended that he had a son.

Do you think, any man knows that the son he has raised for more than twenty years is not his own.

The mentality is exploding.

When the situation gets out of control, what should Mom do?

What about my sister and me?

"I'm sorry, I didn't know who your real father was. Xu Yao said in frustration.

"It's okay, just let him be dead. Qin Ze's tone was flat.

I only have one father, and his name is Qin Jianzhang.

"And Zhilong......"

"What does it have to do with me. Qin Ze interrupted him: "I don't have a brother, only a sister." I can accept what happened back then, face my biological mother calmly, and I can also face your uncle calmly, but that's all, I have my life, I have my family. There's no need to cut off contact, but I hope you don't take the initiative to disturb my life in the future, especially not in front of my mother. ”

Xu Yao nodded.

After crying bitterly and untying the knot in his heart for many years, his whole person was much more relaxed.

"Can you call her Mom?" Xu Yao said expectantly.

Qin Ze was stunned, he stared at the tombstone.

opened his mouth, a very simple word, but he couldn't spit it out.

.......

High-speed rail to Shanghai.

Su Yu snuggled in Qin Ze's arms, women are always emotional, after shedding a few catties of tears for her beloved's biological mother, Su Yu became wilted, and she didn't slow down for a while.

Qin Ze was much calmer.

"Don't you feel too indifferent?" Qin Ze's fingertips ran through her hair.

Su Yu wanted to shake his head, but finally nodded again.

"Grief doesn't have to be shown, the past is all gone, and those who left will never come back. You can't change anything. Qin Ze sighed: "If she is still alive, I will be kind to her, but, as they agreed, I will always have only one mother." ”

It is better to be kind than to be gracious.

"You don't want to know who your biological father is?"

"Do you think I should go to him?"

Su Yu thought about it, shook his head, and said in a puzzle: "I shouldn't look for it, but I can't help but think about it." ”

"Why do you think, he may still be in that small county town, living a mediocre life for half of his life, and he may sigh that he had an illegitimate child back then. But what does it have to do with me? The world is so big, I can't find it. ”

"It's all said, let's just treat him as dead. ”

What are you looking for him, come out and hug and cry, and recognize each other?

I'm still afraid that he will stick to me like a dog skin plaster, and he is also a big man worth tens of billions.

When the time comes, my family will not be at peace?

2018, midsummer in September.

Qin Ze, who finally learned of his life experience, was finally able to face his life more calmly.