The wind roared coldly, and the sky was heavy and sad.

The clouds are rolling, the morning breeze is bleak, and on a small hill in Yuesizhai, a thatched house is built alone. In front of the thatched hut, a person stood with his eyes closed and his hands closed, letting the cold morning breeze blow through his slender figure, raising his fierce clothes, quite like the high posture of an immortal leaving in the wind.

Suddenly, a crack opened in the black clouds in the sky, and a ray of morning light came out through gold, covering this person, this person seemed to feel something, his eyes suddenly widened, and a pair of bloodshot upside-down three white eyes burst out in an instant, shooting straight into the sky.

In the next moment, the figure squatted suddenly, slapped the ground with both hands, and shouted loudly:

"Father, grandfather, ancestors, aunts, and grandmothers! What is your situation! You can't say that if you drop the chain, you will drop the chain, and throw Lao Tzu, a good citizen who abides by the law and abides by the law, into this poor ravine and becomes a bandit!"

On the ground, a black bracelet maintained a cold shape of "don't pay attention to me, I want to be quiet" in the dust -

Isn't it Comrade Hao Se's time machine qì receiver?

"Didn't you say that this is the latest solar technology? Why didn't the sun move in the morning?!"

Hauser raised the receiver and wailed into the sun.

The receiver of the time machine qì was pitch black and unresponsive.

Hao Se's brows furrowed into a pimple, and he gritted his teeth and stared at the receiver for a long time: "Could it be that Lao Tzu opened it in the wrong way?"

As he spoke, he touched his chin and thought about it, put the receiver on his wrist, rubbed it and raised it high: "Wave-Ruo-Wave-Luo-Honey-"

There was no movement.

"Could it be that the posture is wrong?!"

Hao Se shook his shoulders, his legs apart, his arms in a cross shape, and the dead fish's eyes were round: "Let's go, Ultraman!"

The receiver fell silent.

Hao Se twisted his eyebrows, and then changed to a classic posture: "Attack, Bikachu!"

A cold wind whizzed.

"Lao Tzu was really abandoned!"

Hauser rests his hands on his knees in a standard "orz" shape.

"Brother Hao...... What are you doing here?"

Hao Se was excited, and turned his head to look, but saw that Huang Erzhuang didn't know when he arrived behind him, and he was staring at him in surprise.

"Ahem, that ......" Hao Se hurriedly got up, pulled his clothes, and pulled his hair, "The younger brother is looking at the pleasant scenery here, the wind is clear and the trees are lush, so that one came to see the scenery." ”

Huang Erzhuang looked at Hao Se with a suspicious expression: "Brother Hao, those postures you just put on—" As he spoke, he learned the three weird postures of Hao Se just now, "What are you doing?"

"Hahaha-" Hausee laughed dryly, "nothing, nothing, it's—uh-cough, that body-strengthening posture." ”

"Oh! I know!" Huang Erzhuang slapped his palm, "That's what those words say in the book, Brother Hao, you are absorbing the essence of the sun and the moon!"

Absorb the essence of the sun and the moon? Lao Tzu also cultivated into essence and ascended to immortality!

Hao Se was very speechless about the brain replenishment ability of Comrade Huang Erzhuang in front of him.

"Brother Huang Erzhuang, you think too much. Hao Se shook off a sweat.

Huang Erzhuang had a mysterious expression of "sure enough", bumped Hao Se's shoulder with a mysterious face, and said with a smile: "Brother Hao, I can save it, don't worry, I am the strictest in our village! ”

"Ahem, that Brother Huang Erzhuang, what is the matter with you coming to me so early?" Hao Se hurriedly changed the topic.

"Ahh Hurry up, if it's late, there's nothing. ”

As he spoke, he dragged Hao Se and went straight down the hillside, not forgetting to greet Hao Se all the way.

"Brother Hao, how did you sleep last night?"

"It's good, it's good—"

Sleep with a hammer! Lao Tzu didn't close his eyes all night after being hit by a series of blows yesterday!

"That's the room that the big boss gave you, the high terrain, the scenery is good, and it is still a separate courtyard, which is most suitable for people like you to study. ”

"Yes, yes, my little brother is very satisfied, very satisfied!"

The house was blown by the wind and the walls screamed, more terrifying than a haunted house, if it weren't for the grass house was a single courtyard, Lao Tzu didn't have to huddle with a bunch of stinky old men, and Lao Tzu wouldn't live if he was killed!

"Yang Ermu asked the big boss several times, but the big boss didn't allow it, or Brother Hao has face. ”

Nani?! Is this leaky and cobweb-covered broken grass house still a sought-after commodity? The economic situation of this village is really worrying!

The two of you said one by one, and after a while, they came to the open space behind the Yueqi Village Hall.

"Brother Hao, we're here—eh, what's going on?" Huang Erzhuang, who led Hao Se the way, looked at the situation in front of him, and immediately left Hao Se and ran out.

Hao Se looked up, but saw that above the clearing, there were two large wooden tables more than six feet wide, one east and one west, and there was a large black cauldron on the wooden table, and the pot was steaming, obviously prepared for breakfast.

But the strange thing is that the two groups of bandits led by Meng Sanshi and Yang Ermu abandoned breakfast and ignored it, but gathered at the table together, and glared angrily at a middle-aged man dressed as a man kneeling on the field.

"Lao Zhao, tell me, what did you do for our brother?" Meng Sanshi pointed to the cauldron on the table and said angrily.

"Breakfast, breakfast. The middle-aged man who knelt on the ground wiped his sweat and said.

"Where is this breakfast, this is simply brushing the pot water!" Yang Ermu kicked the cauldron on the table.

A large pot of soup was immediately spilled on the ground, and it was rice porridge that could not be more thin.

Hao Se, who happened to walk to the table, looked at it and suddenly felt a chill in his heart.

Isn't this village even mixed with food and clothing?

"Lao Zhao!" Meng Sanshi pointed to the rice soup on the ground, his eyebrows upside down, "Brothers are born and die all day long, you actually give this to your brothers?"

Lao Zhao looked aggrieved: "Third master, you really don't blame me!" As the saying goes, it is difficult for a good woman to cook without rice, and this house has long run out of rice grain, even if Lao Zhao and I have eight hands, there is no way!"

"Fart!" Yang Ermu on the side suddenly became angry, "Second master, I carefully calculated when I was stocking grain in Lidong last year, and the grain in the warehouse can obviously be eaten in shock, but this is just the beginning of spring, why is it gone? It must have been swallowed by you, an old slippery head!"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

"It must be Lao Zhao, you stole it yourself!"

The bandits were passionate.

Lao Zhao was so frightened that he was sweating, and he frequently knelt down and bowed: "Second master, third master! I really didn't eat it secretly from Lao Zhao! Not to mention that I, Lao Zhao, can't eat so much alone!"

"Where did all the rice and grain go?" Meng Sanshi glared.

"It's all eaten by the big boss!" Lao Zhao cried.

As soon as these words came out, the bandits suddenly fell silent.

"Big boss?" Meng Sanshi was startled.

Yang Ermu slapped the table: "Nonsense, second master, I obviously counted the amount of food of the big boss into the tun grain!"

"It's not me talking nonsense!" Lao Zhao wiped his sweat, "The big boss said that he would go to the Juyi Gate to participate in the entrance exam next month, so he got up every night and stepped up his practice, this practice, it is easy to get hungry, and if he is hungry, he will eat-" Lao Zhao looked up at everyone and swallowed his saliva, "I will eat a bucket of rice this night!"

A bucket of rice?! This is a real rice bucket!

Hauser was shocked.

Looking at the rest of the bandits, when they heard this, their faces changed.

Especially Meng Sanshi and Yang Ermu, their faces were as black as the bottom of a pot.

"Second child, what should I do?" Meng Sanshi looked at Yang Ermu.

Yang Ermu gritted his teeth: "How do I know?!If it is calculated according to the days of previous years, at least the grain team will pass by after the sting——"

"That's not possible!" the old Zhao of the gang immediately shouted, "Even if it is porridge, the rice in this gang can only last for three days!"

"There really is no rice at all?!" Meng Sanshi pulled the head of the gang with a fierce expression.

"Third master, Lao Zhao doesn't lie to you, in fact, there are still three bags of rice, but, but ......" Lao Zhao looked like a crying mourner, "That's for the big boss!"

As soon as these words came out, everyone was silent again.

I'll go! The feeling is that the bandit family has no food leftover!

Hurry up, while there is still porridge to eat at this time, it is expedient for Lao Tzu to drink some to cushion his stomach first.

Hao Se, who was watching the overall situation from the sidelines, made up his mind, swept around, and saw that everyone's attention was not here, so he immediately picked up an empty bowl, scooped up a bowl of gruel, squatted on the side of the table and drank it.

On the other end, the war between the two gangs of the second master and the third master has intensified.

"Second brother, why don't you quickly get the silver and go to the town to buy rice?"

"What nonsense are you talking about, third child? I haven't grabbed any silver in the village for more than half a year, where can I have the money to buy rice?

"Bullshit, in this radius of dozens of miles, there is only that black-haired wild boar-"

"Cut, don't you claim to be a martial artist, then hunt a few wild boars for your brothers!"

"Second master, do you want to kill the third master?!"

"That wild boar's fangs are more powerful than knives, the third master was almost picked by the wild boar when he went up the mountain yesterday, if it wasn't for Brother Hao's righteous rescue, the third master would have be-"

"You fucking embarrassed to mention that stinky boy surnamed Hao, if you hadn't received that broom star, how could our village have become like this?"

Drinking porridge Hao Se for a meal.

Hey, what does this have to do with Lao Tzu?

"Yang Er, shut up for me, Brother Hao only entered the village yesterday, how can this rice grain matter be relied on him?"

En, or Meng Sanye's IQ is online.

Hao Se continued to suck and drink porridge.

"What a life-saving benefactor, looking at his virtue, Yin Tang is black, and his face is unlucky, he must be a liar who cheats to eat and drink!"

Hey, although Lao Tzu's original goal was to eat and drink, as the saying goes, if you don't slap people in the face and scold people, it's not kind to raise the level of personal attacks!

Hao Se frowned and drank the last mouthful of rice porridge, and lay on the table to start preparing to scoop the second bowl-

"What the second master said is right! That stinky boy thinks that he can pretend to be a scholar and a military advisor by dragging a few sentences, bullshit! As far as his virtue is concerned, he is an illiterate fool at first glance, if he can read and write, the old sow can go up the tree!"

What!!

A fierce glint flashed in the eyes of the dead fish, and the wooden bowl in his hand snapped on the table.

Lao Tzu, I have nine years of compulsory education, three years of high school, four years of college, plus one year of preparation for the graduate school entrance examination, and I have been studying diligently for nearly 20 years, and I have been framed as illiterate?! If Lao Tzu admits this, how can he be worthy of the blood and tears of the 300 selected papers of the college entrance examination in the Haidian examination area of the famous school in Huanggang in those years? !

Absolutely, yes, no, can, endure!

Thinking of this, Hao Se suddenly became angry from the side of his guts, evil spread from the top of his head, his anger sank into the dantian, the dead fish stared, and suddenly shouted:

"Who said Lao Tzu was illiterate?!"

This sound immediately startled a group of bandits, and they all looked at Hao Se in silence.

Looking at Hao Se again, a pair of dead fish eyes were gloomy and cold, full of black gas, and the momentum fiercely pushed aside the crowd and walked in front of Yang Ermu, baring his teeth and opening:

"Lao Tzu is not powerful, you and I are hellokitty!"

"You, you, what do you want to do?" Yang Ermu took a step back:

Hao Se hung upside down and swept around with three white eyes: "Who said that Lao Tzu was illiterate just now? Stand up! Lao Tzu, I will spray him to death with 300 Tang poems!"

The bandits jumped and took a step back.

Yang Ermu glanced around, his eyes flashed, he jumped forward again, and glared at Hao Se with his neck crossed: "If you really have the ability, then get some rations for our village! If you can't get it, you're a liar!"

Rations, you hammer! Lao Tzu doesn't steal or rob, he has been a law-abiding man since he was a child, and he has been an honest man and made money in a down-to-earth manner, how do I know how to get rice and grain for a bandit's nest!

Hauser's dead fish eyelids jumped.

"What, you can't do it?!" Yang Ermu sneered, "If you can't do it, hurry up and roll out of our stockade!"

Behind Yang Ermu, a group of bean sprouts immediately comprehended and began to coax.

"Get out of the stockade!"

"Get out of the stockade!"

Hey, don't be so desperate!

Hao Se only felt that the blood was a little up.

"Joke! Want to drive people away?! Then it depends on whether the third master agrees or not!" Meng Sanshi immediately led a group of brothers to block in front of Hao Se, and shouted angrily.

Third master, good brother! Hao Se's nose was red.

"Alright, shut up!"

Suddenly, a voice with angry echoes came from the outside of the crowd.

The crowd fell silent and turned back in unison.

But seeing Mao Jindao wearing a terrifying red dress, he walked into the middle of the crowd step by step, and the cold light flashed in the eyes of the two □□:

"Second Yang Lao, I only made Hao Se a military advisor yesterday, and you are going to drive people out today, do you take me as a big boss in your eyes?!"

"Big boss!" Yang Ermu stepped forward, glanced at Hao Se and Meng Sanshi coldly, and hugged his fists, "You also said, this kid is a military advisor! Now the village is about to run out of food, but this military advisor can't even come up with half an idea, so why keep it?

Hey, didn't you just occupy a broken grass house in you? Yang Lao Er, you will repay you for being so shitty?!

Hao Se looked at Yang Ermu with a black line.

Yang Ermu glared back with a defiant expression.

"Out of grain?" Mao Jindao frowned, "How can there be no grain? Didn't you run out of grain in Lidong last year?"

As soon as these words came out, all the bandits were immediately silent, staring at the ground one after another, and no one made a sound.

Yang Ermu looked like he wanted to shrink his neck into his chest.

Mao Jindao's eyes narrowed, and he turned his gaze to Meng Sanshi, the only one whose expression was quite normal: "Third child, you say, what's the matter?!"

Meng Sanshi hesitated for a long time, and finally stepped forward to hug his fists and said: "The big boss, the food in the village was enough to eat until he was stunned, but in the past few days, the big boss has practiced at night and added an extra supper before ......."

"What did you say?!" Mao Jindao raised his eyebrows and cracked the dining table next to him.

Meng Sanshi shuddered, and beads of sweat immediately appeared.

Looking at the people around him, they all gasped and shivered, eager to burrow their heads into the ground.

Uh, what's going on?

Hao Se was confused, looked around, and felt that something was not very good.

"Third child, do you think I eat too much?!" Mao Jindao's voice was angry.

"Big, big, I'm not ......" Meng Sanshi's voice began to tremble.

"You are clearly just--say, I, fat?!" Mao Jindao suddenly got up, his face was blue and his eyes were red, and his hair was angry.

"I didn't mean that, big boss--click!" Meng Sanshi didn't finish his sentence, but he was choked by the neck by an eagle claw of the Mao Jin Knife and lifted it high.

Meng Sanshi's eyes rolled and his face turned blue instantly.

Don't be so exaggerated!

Hauser was dumbfounded.

The bandits were shocked, and hurriedly rushed forward and explained:

"Big boss! The third master didn't mean that!"

"Big boss, you must have misunderstood. ”

"Boss, you are discouraged. ”

Even Yang Ermu, who had been against Meng Sanshi, changed his face, and quickly scooped a bowl of gruel from the pot and brought it forward: "Big boss, you drink a bowl of porridge first to dissipate your anger——"

"Get out!" Mao Jindao raised his backhand, and slapped Yang Ermu's small body to the side. Yang Ermu fell to the ground with a puff, and immediately spurted out a mouthful of blood.

Hey, hey, hey!

Isn't that right?

Hauser was stunned.

The bandits looked at each other with pale faces, and suddenly, one of them shouted:

"The big boss is sick again!"

This throat was like stabbing a hornet's nest, and the whole village was in chaos.

"Oh no!"

"Run!"

The screams came and went, and the bandits, birds and beasts scattered and fled.

"Where's the rice? Where's the big boss's breakfast?!" Huang Dazhuang slipped under the table and shouted at the top of his voice.

"Lao Zhao, bring the big boss's meal!" Huang Erzhuang shouted loudly.

The gang leader Lao Zhao crawled out with a roll: "I'll go to the end, I'll go to the end! Brothers, hold on!"

Even if you don't have breakfast, you can't do it!

Hao Se also followed the flow of people and got under the dining table, staring at the golden knife in the center of the clearing with a surprised expression.

At this time, the golden knife was blue and black, and the red eyes were killed, like a ghost. Pinched Meng Sanshi's fingers inch by inch, and the words were as eerie as a ghost curse: "Dare to say that I am fat, all of them, and die!!"

As he spoke, he actually threw Meng Sanshi out.

Meng Sanshi's burly figure rolled on the ground several times, and then there was no movement.

Damn, was he thrown to his death?!

Hao Se clutched the leg of the table, his face shocked and excessive.

"All have to die! they all have to die!" the golden knife roared to the sky.

"Get down!"

Huang Dazhuang hurriedly shouted, and the next moment, he saw that the mountain bandits hiding everywhere instantly fell to the ground.

"Ahhhh

A mournful roar came out from the mouth of the golden knife, and the fat body of the golden knife suddenly swirled wildly, and in an instant, the sand and stones were flying, covering the sky and the sun, and the wind was like a ghost howling, deafening, so terrifying.

Hao Se, who threw himself to the ground, was completely dumbfounded.

There is a lesson of blood and tears: if you want to live long, don't say that women are fat!