In the twenty-five ups and downs of Hao Se's life, there have been countless misunderstandings about "beauty" because of his "heroic" "peak appearance".

For example, in kindergarten.

Pink little Lori: "Hao Se, I'm going to be your bride." ”

Hao Se: "No, no, my mother said, Hao Se is a baby girl and can't marry a bride." ”

Little Lori: "You're not a baby girl, you're taller than other boys, you're a baby boy!"

Hao Se: "I'm really a baby girl! I don't believe it, I'll take off my pants and show you!"

"Wow, Hauser is a hooligan!" Little Lori ran away in tears.

The kindergarten aunt who ran over was furious: "Hao Se, you punish me to stop!"

Hao Se, who was carrying his pants, said that he was very upset.

Another example, in elementary school-

The shy girl: "Squad leader Hao Se, can I be your girlfriend?"

Helpless Hao Se: "I'm a female ......"

The teary-eyed girl: "Squad leader Hao Se, don't you like me?"

Very helpless Hao Se: "I'm really a female ......"

The girl who broke the boat: "Even if you are a woman, I don't mind!"

Hao Se, who wanted to cry without tears: "I mind!"

Then, in junior high school:

Flower Season Girl A: "Don't you think Hao Se's eyes are scary?"

Flower Season Girl B: "It seems to be a little." ”

Flower Season Girl C: "I used to think she was a little handsome, but as soon as this semester started, I suddenly felt that her eyes were ......"

Flower Season Girl Ding: "Ah!

The sleepy-eyed Hao Se looked up: "Huh?"

"Yikes!"

"Hao Se glared at me!"

"Run!"

The girl A, B, C and Ding fled in the wilderness.

Hao Se looked confused: "What's the situation? I just didn't wake up!"

High School Days-

Bad Youth League: "Hey, kid in front, hand over your pocket money!"

"What?" Haute turned his head.

The delinquent youth group knelt down at the same time: "Big brother, big brother!

Hao Se with a black line: "I'm not a big brother!"

Delinquent Youth League: "This big brother, don't laugh! With your style and eyes, you must be a famous big brother on the road!"

Hao Se, who burst out with green tendons on the top of his head: "My eyes are natural!"

"Big brother, your family is actually the foundation of your ancestors! Big brother, is there still a shortage of people in your gang? Why don't you take a few younger brothers!"

Hao Se: Your sister!

College Days-

Male classmate A: "Hao Se! Hao Se! Those freshman boys are picking thorns again, you hurry up and go to the town with us!"

Hao Se, who looked up from the pile of books: "The exam is coming up next week, and I still have to review-"

Male classmate B: "It won't take long, Hao Se, as long as you stand there and glance at it casually, those little cubs will definitely kneel!"

Hauser: "Hey, I'm a girl!"

Male classmate C: "If you don't say it, who can tell that you are a girl?"

The male classmate Ding was teary-eyed: "Brother Hao, it's up to you!"

Hao Se, who was furious: "Give it to Lao Tzu and I'll get out!"

The male classmate A, B, C and D dispersed in a hurry: "It's terrible!"

College Graduation Season -

Hao Se, who was putting on makeup for the first time, looked shy: "Senior, senior, thank you for coming today, this, this rose for you!"

The senior looked horrified: "Hao Se, did you get beaten in the face? What is this flower for?!"

Hao Se blushed: "Learn, senior, in fact, I, I have always liked and liked you......"

The senior Dong took a few steps back: "That, that Hao Se, I like and like women." ”

Hao Se was puzzled: "I'm a woman!"

The senior jumped up: "What?!No! That, it's, actually, what I like is a man, it's a man!"

Stunned Hause: "......"

The frightened senior said: "Hao Se, don't be angry, don't be angry! I, I'm still in a hurry, go first!"

Hao Se, who looked at the back of the senior who fled in the wilderness: "......"

Melodious singing voices can be heard in the distance: "Hearts are broken into pieces ......"

A large group of male classmates rushed up, and wine bottles and barbecued meat flew all over the sky around Hao Se.

"Hao Se!

"In the future, our brothers will be on different sides of the world, and we won't see each other anymore!"

"Come on, Hause, have an all-night drink with your brothers!"

Hao Se, who slapped away the wine bottle, burst into tears: "Lao Tzu is really a woman!"

Then, time flew by and came to the Ming Dynasty hundreds of years ago.

Comrade Hao Se, who is responsible for appearance, once again caused a life-threatening misunderstanding because of his "outstanding" appearance.

"Cave, cave room?"

Hao Se stared at the bandit woman in front of him, who looked at the side of the ridge as strong, and the little tongue in his throat was trembling.

"Cave room! Cave room tonight!Hahahahaha-" Mao Jindao smiled thickly, and the whole room shook.

What a joke!

Lao Tzu was born without this function!

Hao Se's two dead fish eyes rolled upward, and he almost fainted.

But in the eyes of others, everyone saw two fierce lights shining out of the eyes of the tall and thin young man in front of them, gloomy and terrifying.

Mao Jindao's face suddenly sank: "You don't want to?"

As soon as these words came out, all the bandits immediately shuddered, and the next moment, whether it was Meng Sanye's gang or Yang Erye's team, they all began to speak in unison about the great cause of media:

"Brother Hao, it's your blessing that the big boss has taken a fancy to you!"

"Brother Hao, you are the big boss!"

"This brother, you can't ask for this kind of marriage!"

"Brother Hao!"

"This brother ......"

"Shut it all up!" Mao Jindao snorted, and shook his hand and waved a palm.

"Click!" the palm wind immediately split a crack in the pillar.

All the bandits trembled at the same time, and were immediately silenced.

Hao Se's body trembled, and he came back to his senses in an instant.

"Say, don't you look down on me!"

The golden knife pressed forward step by step, Hao Se retreated step by step, and in a few steps, the golden knife forced Hao Se into a corner.

The big oily face in front of him was so gloomy that it could almost drip ink, as if Hao Se could say a "no" word, and he could immediately squeeze Hao Se into a meat puree.

Help me!

This is the rhythm of the overlord's hard bow!

Hao Se was squeezed and his face was blue, and the dead fish's eyes burst out one after another.

But a group of bandits around him were all frightened, looking cowering, and Meng Sanshi, the only one who wanted to come forward to help, was dragged back by Huang Dazhuang and Huang Erzhuang.

The world is hot and cold!

People really have to rely on themselves!

But...... How can I help myself?

Is it like the scholar just now, to hit the wall to protect himself......

But the problem is that Lao Tzu is not the kind of scholar who sings three chants with twists and turns, even if he bites his tongue and commits suicide now, I am afraid that he will not be able to exchange for the mercy and pity of this golden knife......

Wait a minute!

Who said Lao Tzu wasn't a scholar?

Lao Tzu is a high-end cultural person who has broken 10,000 books in the exam and guessed questions like a god, and he is a fighter among scholars!

Thinking of this, Hao Se suddenly shook his spirit, his fists suddenly clenched, and his three white eyes suddenly stared at him, and in an instant, the gangster rushed out and shouted: "Bah!"

The golden knife that approached Hao Se changed his face in an instant, and he took a step back.

The surrounding bandits were even more shocked, and they all picked up their weapons and waited for them.

But seeing Hao Se's eyebrows raised, he condensed his voice: "I wish to have one heart and no white head!"

There was a moment of silence in the hall.

"What did you say?" said Maojindao's face lit up.

Hao Se hurriedly changed his tone and slowed down his voice a little: "I wish to have one heart, and the white head will not be separated......"

"I wish to have one heart...... White heads are inseparable...... Okay, that's a good thing to say......" Mao Jindao looked in a trance, took a few steps back, and muttered aftertaste.

Thank God!

Hauser squatted down the wall to the ground.

"Have you read a book?" Mao Jindao suddenly snorted and squatted down, looking at Hao Se with an excited expression and asked.

"Count, count...... Huh!"

Hao Se, who had survived the catastrophe, looked up at the affectionate little eyes of the golden knife on the opposite side, and his whole head suddenly buzzed-

In a hurry, I made such a low-level fatal mistake!

This Mao Jin Dao likes scholars, and Lao Tzu actually went up to tell the people that Lao Tzu is a cultural person who has read books......

Ancestors plank!

Isn't this jumping into the fire pit by yourself?

What to do, what to do?!

So far, it seems that only by showing Lao Tzu's true gender can he escape......

No way, no way!

As the saying goes, "After three years in the man's pile, the sow can also become a sable".

What's more, there are dozens of men here, and they are men of this level who face the Mao Jin Dao every day - compared with this Mao Jin Dao, Lao Tzu is a heavenly immortal!

If it is revealed that Lao Tzu is a woman, the consequences will definitely be unimaginable!

But if you don't say it,

Do you really want to have a room with this golden knife cave?!

Don't say that Lao Tzu doesn't have this function, even if he does, seeing the explosive appearance of the Mao Jin Knife, it is estimated that there is no play!

Hao Se suddenly broke out in a sweat.

Mao Jindao stared at Hao Se's expression change, and his face gradually darkened: "Sure enough, you scholars just look down on me." ”

"The little brother doesn't look down on the big boss," Hao Se hurriedly shouted, "but ...... Instead, I felt that ...... countless classic romance lines popped up with beads of sweat the size of Hao Sedou, and in the end, a tried and tested stand out, "The little brother is not worthy of being a big boss!"

Unexpectedly, as soon as these words came out, Mao Jindao's face darkened: "Sure enough, he looks down on me Mao Jindao!"

"Big boss, you misunderstood!" Hao Se lifted his shirt, knelt on one knee, clasped his hands into fists, and said sincerely, "Although the little brother is the first time to see the big boss, he is also deeply impressed by the heroism of the big boss, so the little brother gave this sentence 'I wish to be a person with one heart and no one else' to the big boss!"

"Hmm, what do you say?"

"The big boss, this marriage event is related to the happiness of the big boss's life, and it must not be a child's play!" Hao Se wiped the beads of sweat on his neck, "If a heroine like a big boss is a heroine among women, if it is given to a layman like the younger brother, wouldn't it be a flower inserted in cow dung?!"

"Poof!" someone burst out laughing.

"Who dares to laugh!" the third master roared angrily.

The room fell silent again.

"Do you really think I'm like a flower?"

"That's nature! And it's a rare flower in the world!" Hao Se stubbornly made persistent efforts, "A character like a big boss must be matched with a rich and wealthy man who is full of wealth and wealth as a husband!"

Mao Jindao's eyes lit up: "I can really find such a husband?!"

"Of course!" Hao Se nodded fiercely, "I believe in the little brother, you can do it!"

"Then where are you going to find it?" asked Mao Jindao with a look of anticipation.

"Uh......" Hauser was stunned.

"Yes, Brother Hao, where are you looking for such characters?"

The surrounding crowd of bandits looked at Hao Se with their eyes full of shining stars.

The ancestors are banban, where does Lao Tzu know!

What Lao Tzu blurted out just now is just the standard marketing line of the marriage and love network to flicker into the club, but there is a wood network and a rice and a Du Niang, and there is no marriage and love network, even if Lao Tzu is the former chief matchmaker of the marriage and love network, he can only take a break.

"Didn't you lie to me?" Mao Jindao's face sank again.

"No! absolutely not!" Hao Se waved his hand again and again, the dead fish's eyes turned wildly, and suddenly a flash of inspiration, "Big boss, didn't you just say that you were going to Juyimen to divide the rudder in two months?"

"So what?" said the Golden Knife.

"Juyimen-this-well-known--gate sect ......" Hao Se said while observing everyone's faces, and after making sure that he was not wrong, he continued, "Naturally, there are many heroes, heroes are everywhere, presumably the big boss will definitely meet a sweetheart here!"

"I see!" Mao Jindao slapped his thigh, "You're right!

At this moment, the whole room was boiling, and the bandits high-fived and cheered:

"Great!"

"I said a long time ago, the big boss must marry the big hero!"

"Juyimen is the number one gang in the world, there must be a drama!"

"That's right! That's right!"

Mao Jindao stood up and looked at Meng Sanshi with joy on his face: "Third brother, you brother has received it well!"

Meng Sanshi smiled and hugged his fists: "It's all the blessings of the big family!"

Mao Jindao looked at Hao Se again, lifted Hao Se up from the ground, and patted Hao Se on the shoulder: "Hao Se, in the future, you will be our brother in the village, we will be blessed and enjoy hardships together!"

"Thank you, big boss!" Hao Se shook the beads of sweat on his hands and clenched his fists in thanks.

"Well! It's rare to have a reader, and then- hmm...... Brother Hao is our military advisor in Yuexizhai!" Mao Jindao patted Hao Se on the shoulder again, "Come with me to Juyimen next month to choose a husband for me!"

What?!Strategist?!

Hao Se suddenly raised his head, his eyelids jumping.

"Congratulations to the military advisor!"

"Congratulations to Master Hao!"

Meng Sanshi's gang cheered.

And Yang Ermu's gang was staring at him with gloomy faces.

Hao Se's smile stiffened.

True! Thy chastity has been saved, but he has become a dog-headed military advisor in a bandit's den!

*

Modern Theatre 01:

Matchmaker Marriage Network Recruitment Site:

Examiner: We've never recruited male matchmakers.

Hauser: I'm a woman.

Examiner: Ah, sorry, I read it wrong! Then why did you come to our matchmaker matchmaking network to apply?

Hauser: You have a lot of girls here.

Examiner: Huh?

Hauser: I want to stay in a place where there are a lot of girls.

Examiner: What?

Hao Se: I said, I want to stay in a place where there are many girls!

Examiner: Admission!

Modern Theatre 02:

The first lesson of matchmaker marriage and love network:

Top matchmaker: The member is the peerless beauty, the member is the handsome guy in the city!

Matchmaker Network Newcomers: ......

Top matchmaker: This is the standard routine line for joining the club, and everyone has to memorize it!

Matchmaker newcomers: What?

Matchmaker's marketing lines standard version:

1. Marriage is a lifelong event! As the saying goes, men are afraid of entering the wrong line and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man.

2. You are the most beautiful and best person in the world, and those who gave up on you before have lost their treasure! They have lost their happiness!

2. If a person like you finds someone to marry casually, it is a flower inserted in cow dung!

3. You are the most perfect, you will definitely be able to find a husband who is taller, handsome and kind-hearted than Jin Jian with a car and a house!

4. Trust me!

Hauser: What the hell is this?