The heart is sorrowful, the pen is hard to walk, the right path is vicissitudes, and the version is good luck. The mountains are long, and the forests are deep.

The remnants of the snow are spotted, and the melting road is muddy.

Hao Seshen walked on the muddy road with one shallow foot and one foot on the snowy melt soil, looking at the majestic and majestic back of the third master in front of him, The cries of the two robbed men behind him echoed in his ears, and listening to the courteous introduction of the two newly recognized brothers on the side, the whole person was in a state of confusion.

"Brother Hao, it's not me Huang Dazhuang bragging, our Yue Si Zhai is well-known in the rivers and lakes!" The one on the left who spoke, was fat, his face was full of fat, and his bald head was shining, "The brothers are all heroes in the green forest!"

"My brother is right! Especially our big boss Mao Golden Knife, the double knife technique is superb, and the people in the rivers and lakes call the golden knife invincible!" The one on the right, with an open chest and exposed arms, full of black hair, and a sky-high bun on the top of his head, is giving Hao Se a mouth like a river, "It can be described as a big hero who tops the sky——"

Big hero, a hammer!

It's clearly a bandit leader, and this is a bandit den!

Hao Se, who went astray, had a mouthful of old blood in his heart, whether he vomited or did not vomit or was unhappy, and his whole stomach drooped.

Why did I think these were ordinary hunters?

All of them look fierce and vicious, obviously they are the illegal temperament of robbing homes and houses, and I actually tear off my face and hug my thighs to beg for support......

Lao Tzu's head must have been crushed by that unlucky time machine!

"However, I Huang Erzhuang still admires the third master of my family the most. After exaggerating the big master, he began to praise the third master who took in Hao Se, "Meng Sanshi, the third master of the hunting knife, a hunting knife is rampant in the rivers and lakes, a well-known man!"

Hao Se pressed his forehead that was jumping suddenly: "Second Brother Huang, didn't you just say that there are three masters in the village?"

"Cut, don't mention it. Huang Erzhuang, who had a bun in the sky, looked disdainful, "The face is yellow, the head is big, the eyes are small, and the stomach is bad." ”

"Second brother, I still have to give Brother Hao a wake-up call. The bald Huang Dazhuang frowned and said, "The second master is named Yang Ermu, who is good at using stick skills, and is known as the second master of the yellow face......" Speaking of this, Huang Dazhuang couldn't help but pause, and approached Hao Se to lower his voice, "The second master has always looked at the third master and our brothers are not pleasing to the eye, Brother Hao, if you meet this person, you can have a heart." ”

"Yes, yes, little brother understands!" Hao Se nodded repeatedly.

A small bandit village and factional struggles? Where there are really people, there are rivers and lakes.

The two brothers of the Huang family chatted with Hao Se one by one, and before they knew it, they entered the mountain col.

"Brother Hao, we're here!" Huang Dazhuang pointed forward.

Hao Se looked up, but saw a stockade faintly visible from among the mountains and cols.

The stone wall is enclosed, the tower is high, the thick tree pierces the door, the height is more than three feet, and it looks from a distance, it is really quite imposing.

"The third master is back, open the village-door-"

With the shouting of the bandits in the gatehouse, the door of the village in front of the gate slowly opened, welcoming the third master and his team into the village.

Hao Se stubbornly entered with the team, and when he turned his eyes, the stockade was full of a group of rough men with big shoulders and round waists, and all of them were armed, and they were not well described-

I'm saying now that I want to leave the group, will I be beaten to death by the group?!

Hao Se, who had urinated and escaped several times along the way, had a gloomy face, and even more like a pair of dead fish eyes, seeing that the Huang brothers beside him were trembling at the same time, he was busy looking for a new topic, and pointed forward:

"Brother Hao, in front of you is the hall of our village!"

Hall?

Hao Se raised his eyes and couldn't help but be dumbfounded.

Come on, this is a big thatched house at best.

That's right, the so-called council hall in front of me is just a grass house that looks a little larger, with yellow mud walls, logs as columns, and straw roofs, which is very poor.

At the end of the room there was a Taishi chair covered with half a fur of unknown color, and on either side of the Taishi chair were two rows of seats—well, wooden chairs, benches, and mazazi, and finally a few bricks......

This bandit den is too poor!

Hatser felt dizzy.

"Yo, is the third child back?

Suddenly, a shrill voice came from behind.

Hao Se turned his head to look at it, and his eyelids twitched immediately.

I saw more than a dozen men walking in front of me, dressed very similarly to the team of the third master, but the body shape was very different, all of them were slender and slender, and they came from afar, like a team of bean sprouts, all of them shook their heads and swayed vividly.

The first man is holding a swarthy thick rod in his hand, with a big head and a thin neck, a yellow face and thin muscles, small eyes and a small nose.

"It's the second master. He must have heard the news and came to rob our harriers!" Huang Dazhuang said with a disgruntled expression.

Oh, this is the legendary second-hand Yang Ermu with a bad stomach.

Hauser understood.

"Second brother, did we hit the harrier, it has nothing to do with you, right?" The third master, Meng Sanshi, held the hunting knife and stared at Yang Ermu with a heavy face.

Yang Ermu raised his eyebrows, poked his head out and looked behind everyone, and snorted:

"Yo, the third child, you have been out all day, and you have caught such two little chicks! And this-" Yang Ermu rolled his eyes and swept Hao Se, full of disdain: "The skin is too bad!"

"This is my newly adopted brother!" Meng Sanshi glared back angrily.

"Newly accepted brother?!" Yang Ermu sneered, "Just this kid, his eyes are blank, and he is unlucky, the third child, you actually accept him into the village, and you are not afraid of ruining the feng shui of our village?"

"What kind of brother does my Third Master Meng accept, it's not your turn Yang Ermu to intervene. ”

"Meng Sanshi, you are hiding from the big boss and accepting people privately, do you want to do the opposite!"

"Joke! Are there still few people in your second boss who have collected privately this year?" Huang Dazhuang stepped forward and shouted loudly.

"That's it, why can you accept people, but not our third master?" Huang Erzhuang also rushed forward.

"What are you doing, you want to rebel?!" A bunch of bean sprouts behind Yang Ermu didn't let him see it, and immediately rushed up.

"Second Yang, don't deceive people too much!"

"Meng Laosan, you just have bad intentions!"

"Dare to scold our second master?!"

"What's wrong with scolding you, we still have to beat you!"

Seeing that the two groups of people were about to fight, suddenly, the whole room shook without warning.

The bandits who were fighting were silent at the same time.

"Boom!" came with a muffled sound and a vibration.

The bandits' faces changed, and they immediately returned to their original positions.

Earthquake?Haute Se's face changed.

"Knock, knock!"

Hauser shouted: "Earthquake! Get out of the house and evacuate - woo woo woo ......"

But before he finished shouting, he was covered by the two Zhuang next to him.

"Woo-woo?"

Earthquake! It's important to run for your life! What are you doing with Lao Tzu?

Hao Se desperately glanced at the second Zhuang beside him.

Looking at Huang Erzhuang again, his face was pale, his face was sweating, and he lowered his voice and said in Hao Se's ear: "Don't talk nonsense, it's the big boss who has arrived!"

What?

Before Hao Se could react to what this sentence meant, he saw the door slam open, and a figure walked in against the light.

Hao Se's eyes burst out and he almost knelt down.

What kind of creature is this?!

But when he saw that the leader was as burly as a mountain, with his limbs as thick as an old tree, with a greasy bun on his head, his face full of meat, his skin was oily, and his facial features were crowded in the fat of his face, he could not see his appearance clearly, and he could only barely discern from the distribution position that the upper two thin slits were eyes, the middle one was a nose, and the lower one was a mouth;

With every step, the four layers of fat and fat on the waist flickered and trembled in a very ill-fitting red dress......

Yes, this big boss Mao Jindao wears a red dress!

So, this big boss is a woman?!

Hao Se, who finally recognized the gender of the big boss from his clothes, was once again confused.

"I've seen the big boss!" the bandits bent over with their fists clenched and shouted in unison.

"Second, third, I just heard you two arguing again?"

Mao Jindao snorted and sat down in the fur master's chair, and asked in a voice, the sound was almost as if it came from a chimney, with its own reverberation sound effect.

"No, no! I have a deep relationship with the third brother, how can I quarrel?" Yang Ermu hurriedly laughed.

Yang Sanshi glanced at Yang Ermu, and also hugged his fists and said: "Big boss, I'm just learning from the second child." ”

"Hmm-" Mao Jindao on the seat made a long nasal voice, "That's right, they are all their own brothers, and it's not good to hurt the harmony." Next month, the entrance test of the 48th rudder of Juyimen will arrive, whether we can join the rudder of Juyimen, success or failure in this move, at such a critical juncture, there must be no mistakes in the village!"

"Don't worry, big boss!" all the bandits clasped their fists in unison.

Juyimen, rudder, introductory exam, bandits' nest still have to take the exam? Don't be so miserable!

Hao Se, who has been forced by exam-oriented education for more than 20 years, immediately felt bad.

"Okay, let's get down to business, third child, do you have anything to gain today?"

"Yes, yes, big boss, today the third master led our brother to hunt two good buds!"

Huang Dazhuang pulled the hemp rope in his hand, pulled the two men who were shrunk in the corner to the center of the hall, and hugged the golden knife with a face of invitation: "Big boss, take a look!"

"Well, two young shoots...... "Mao Jindao touched his chin and said.

"The king spares his life!

"King, the villain is a poor family and has no money!

The two men threw themselves on the ground, crying and screaming, very miserable.

"Don't worry," Huang Erzhuang squatted down and said lustfully, "I picked you up, I invited you to enjoy the blessings." ”

"Enjoy, enjoy?"

The two young men looked up at the same time and looked at everyone with a look of horror.

"It's not!" Huang Dazhuang pointed to the golden knife on the seat with a proud face, "See, that is our big boss, the famous golden knife on the rivers and lakes, a heroine!"

"If the two of you can be favored by our big bosses, it will be a good thing for the green smoke on the ancestral grave. Huang Erzhuang hugged his fist at the golden knife, "Big boss, which one do you have a crush on?" As long as you say it, I will immediately carry you down, wash it and send it to your room——"

"Whew, eat human flesh!" a young man howled, and his eyes rolled and he fainted.

"Don't eat me, don't eat me! I haven't taken a shower for a year, and the meat stinks, it's not delicious!" The other knelt on the ground and cried, and the stench of water stains spread under him, and he was so frightened that he was incontinent......

Hao Se, who was watching on the side, was terrified.

That time machine won't be to take Lao Tzu to the wrong set and arrive at the monster hole of "Journey to the West"!

looked at the Mao Jin Dao on the seat again, glanced at the two people who were paralyzed on the ground, and waved his hand with disgust: "Forget it, I can't look down on this kind of goods!"

As soon as these words came out, Meng Sanshi's faces suddenly became a little ugly.

But Yang Ermu's first team gloated and coaxed in unison:

"Hahahaha, third, I'll just say that you two little chicks can't do it!"

"What kind of goods is this, you dare to come and pollute the eyes of our big boss!"

"Send it away, so as not to stink the feng shui treasure of our village!"

Meng Sanshi's face turned dark, and he motioned to Da Zhuang and Er Zhuang to call for people to come, and dragged the two men down.

"Third child, it's not me talking about you, you look at the goods you robbed, none of them can be seen, and they are not as good as the wild boars on this mountain. Yang Ermu sneered.

"Listen to what Yang Lao Er, what do you mean, don't you have a better harrier?" Meng Sanshi glared.

"Hey, third child, I'll let you open your eyes today!" Yang Ermu smiled proudly and clapped his hands with his hands, "Bring someone to me!"

Before he finished speaking, he saw two black and thin mountain bandits dragging one person to the middle of the house.

Hao Se fixed his eyes and saw that this person was just a scholar in Tsing Yi, dressed in a long robe, with a thin body, full of messy hair, and he couldn't see his face clearly.

"Big boss, look at this!" Yang Ermu stepped forward and lifted the scholar's chin, revealing a scholar's face.

The small eyes of the Mao Jin Dao on the stage were obviously larger, and the huge figure slowly leaned forward, looking at the scholar fixedly.

Then, amazingly, two lumps of blush welled up on an oily face.

It's terrifying!

Hao Se shuddered, and hurriedly swept his gaze to the scholar who could make the mountain bandit leader blush.

Could it be that what kind of character is captivating the country and the city?

But at this glance, Hao Se couldn't help but be disappointed.

The scholar's face was like a vegetable, and his facial features were usually tight, so he really couldn't see anything outstanding.

"Okay, good, this is good, that's it!" said with a laugh.

Saying this, Yang Ermu's group of bandits immediately cheered.

"Congratulations!

"Congratulations to the big boss for finding the boss of the village!"

It turns out that I don't want to eat human flesh, but I want to rob a husband who crushes the village!

Hauser finally came back to his senses.

"Big brother, the second boss is opportunistic!" Huang Erzhuang looked angry.

"Alas, I didn't expect the second master to find a scholar, this is the death hole of the big boss. Huang Dazhuang also shook his head frequently.

Hao Se couldn't help but look sideways when he heard this.

Listening to this meaning, does this big boss seem to have a special hobby for the group of scholars?

But......

Hao Se glanced at the tonnage of the golden knife on the seat, and then looked at the scholar's small body, and couldn't help swallowing his saliva.

It's better to be eaten meat!

"Okay, take this son down, entertain him well, and go to the cave room at night!" Mao Jindao said with a light on his face.

The bandits shouted loudly, and the whole hall was full of joy.

Unexpectedly, at this moment, the scholar who had been kneeling quietly on the ground suddenly became difficult, jumped up and hit the pillar on the left side, and shouted: "You can't be disgraced!"

"Be careful!" Mao Jindao exclaimed in surprise, and jumped up to save people, but he was still half a step too late.

The scholar had already hit his head against the pillar, his head was bleeding, and he fell to the ground heavily.

For a moment, all the bandits were stunned.

Yang Ermu was the first to react, hurriedly ran over, rolled his eyelids again, listened to his heart, tossed for a long time, and came to the conclusion:

"The big boss, just fainted. This kid hasn't eaten for a few days, he doesn't have much strength, and he can't die. ”

As soon as these words came out, everyone breathed a sigh of relief at the same time.

"That's good, that's good. Mao Jindao walked over and looked at the scholar, and said with a regretful face, "Forget it, send him away, he is always looking for death and life, it is really distressing to watch." ”

Yang Ermu's face turned dark, and he could only promise to respond, and let the scholar be carried down.

For a while, the atmosphere in the hall was a little dull.

"Why can't I find a wishful man with the golden knife?" the golden knife shook his head and sighed.

Everyone looked at each other, and in the end, Meng Sanshi stepped forward and said with relief:

"Big boss, don't worry, as long as our brothers work together, we will definitely be able to find a wishful husband for the big boss to come back. ”

"Yes, yes, yes, the big boss will definitely find a good husband!"

"That's right, it's on our brother!"

"Okay, good!" Mao Jin Dao looked around at everyone, his face moved, "I Mao Jin Dao can have your brothers as companions, and it is not worth this life—huh?"

The half-spoken Mao Jin Dao suddenly stopped, his eyes suddenly lit up, and his gaze shot at Hao Se behind Meng Sanshi.

Huh?

Huh?

Eh, eh!!

Hao Se froze, watched the golden knife tremble step by step in front of him, and grinned:

"Who is this brother?"

"This is the newly acquired brother on the third master's road, named Hao Se. Huang Erzhuang hurriedly stepped forward to introduce Mao Jindao.

"Lustful?" Mao Jindao touched his chin and swept around Hao Se, "Good name, good name!"

As he spoke, he slowly reached out a hand and touched Hao Se's face, and his face shone: "Good skin!"

What's going on?!

Hauser's dead fish eyes bulged, and the hairs on his body stood up.

"Smack!"

The golden knife hand was like lightning, and it pinched it with lightning speed - pinched Hao Se's ass!

Immortal board!

A pair of dead fish eyes almost shot out.

"Hahahaha, it's good, it's good! It's you!" Mao Jindao looked up and laughed, "Come on, wash this kid for me, I'm going to have a room with him tonight!"

Nani?!

In the twenty-five ups and downs of Hao Se's life, there have been countless misunderstandings about "beauty" because of his "heroic" "peak appearance".

For example, in kindergarten -

Pink little Lori: "Hao Se, I'm going to be your bride." ”

Hao Se: "No, no, my mother said, Hao Se is a baby girl and can't marry a bride." ”

Little Lori: "You're not a baby girl, you're taller than other boys, you're a baby boy!"

Hao Se: "I'm really a baby girl! I don't believe it, I'll take off my pants and show you!"

"Wow, Hauser is a hooligan!" Little Lori ran away in tears.

The kindergarten aunt who ran over was furious: "Hao Se, you punish me to stop!"

Hao Se, who was carrying his pants, said that he was very upset.

Another example, in elementary school-

The shy girl: "Squad leader Hao Se, can I be your girlfriend?"

Helpless Hao Se: "I'm a female ......"

The teary-eyed girl: "Squad leader Hao Se, don't you like me?"

Very helpless Hao Se: "I'm really a female ......"

The girl who broke the boat: "Even if you are a woman, I don't mind!"

Hao Se, who wanted to cry without tears: "I mind!"

Then, in junior high school:

Flower Season Girl A: "Don't you think Hao Se's eyes are scary?"

Flower Season Girl B: "It seems to be a little." ”

Flower Season Girl C: "I used to think she was a little handsome, but as soon as this semester started, I suddenly felt that her eyes were ......"

Flower Season Girl Ding: "Ah!

The sleepy-eyed Hao Se looked up: "Huh?"

"Yikes!"

"Hao Se glared at me!"

"Run!"

The girl A, B, C and Ding fled in the wilderness.

Hao Se looked confused: "I just didn't wake up!"

High School –

Bad Youth League: "Hey, kid in front, hand over your pocket money!"

"Huh?" Hausser, who got out of bed, turned his head.

The delinquent youth group knelt down at the same time: "Big brother, big brother!

Hao Se with a black line: "I'm not a big brother!"

Delinquent Youth League: "This big brother, don't laugh! With your style and eyes, you must be a famous big brother on the road!"

Hao Se, who burst out with green tendons on the top of his head: "My eyes are natural!"

"Big brother, your family is actually the foundation of your ancestors! Big brother, is there still a shortage of people in your gang? Why don't you take a few younger brothers!"

Hao Se: Your sister!

College years –

Male classmate A: "Hao Se! Hao Se! Those freshman boys are picking thorns again, you hurry up and go to the town with us!"

Hao Se, who looked up from the pile of books: "The exam is coming up next week, and I still have to review—"

Male classmate B: "It won't take long, Hao Se, as long as you stand there and glance at it casually, those little cubs will definitely kneel!"

Hauser: "Hey, I'm a girl!"

Male classmate C: "If you don't say it, who can tell that you are a girl?"

The male classmate Ding was teary-eyed: "Brother Hao, it's up to you!"

Hao Se, who was furious: "Give it to Lao Tzu and I'll get out!"

The male classmate A, B, C and D dispersed in a hurry: "It's terrible!"

College Graduation Season –

Hao Se, who was putting on makeup for the first time, looked shy: "Senior, senior, thank you for coming today, this, this rose for you!"

The senior looked horrified: "Hao Se, did you get beaten in the face? What is this flower for?!"

Hao Se blushed: "Learn, senior, in fact, I, I have always liked and liked you......"

The senior Dong took a few steps back: "That, that Hao Se, I like and like women." ”

Hao Se was puzzled: "I'm a woman!"

The senior jumped up: "What?!No! That, it's, actually, what I like is a man, it's a man!"

Hauser: "......"

The frightened senior said: "Hao Se, don't be angry, don't be angry! I, I'm still in a hurry, go first!"

Hao Se, who looked at the back of the senior who fled in the wilderness: "......"

Melodious singing voices can be heard in the distance: "Hearts are broken into pieces ......"

A large group of male classmates rushed up, and wine bottles and barbecued meat flew all over the sky around Hao Se.

"Hao Se!

"In the future, our brothers will be on different sides of the world, and we won't see each other anymore!"

"Come on, Hause, have an all-night drink with your brothers!"

Hao Se, who slapped away the wine bottle, burst into tears: "Lao Tzu is really a woman!"

Then, time flew by and came to the Ming Dynasty hundreds of years ago-

Comrade Hao Se, who is responsible for appearance, once again caused a life-threatening misunderstanding because of his "outstanding" appearance.

"Cave, cave room?"

Hao Se stared at the bandit woman in front of him, who looked at the side of the ridge as strong, and the little tongue in his throat was trembling.

"Cave room! Cave room tonight!Hahahahaha-" Mao Jindao smiled thickly, and the whole room shook.

Immortal board!

Hao Se's two dead fish eyes rolled upward, and he almost fainted.

But in the eyes of others, everyone saw two fierce lights shining out of the eyes of the tall and thin young man in front of them, gloomy and terrifying.

Mao Jindao's face suddenly sank: "You don't want to?"

As soon as these words came out, all the bandits immediately shuddered, and the next moment, whether it was Meng Sanye's gang or Yang Erye's team, they all began to speak in unison about the great cause of media:

"Brother Hao, it's your blessing that the big boss has taken a fancy to you!"

"Brother Hao, you are the big boss!"

"This brother, you can't ask for this kind of marriage!"

"Brother Hao!"

"This brother ......"

"Shut it all up!" Mao Jindao snorted, and shook his hand and waved a palm.

"Click!" the palm wind immediately split a crack in the pillar.

All the bandits trembled at the same time, and were immediately silenced.

Hao Se's body trembled, and he came back to his senses in an instant.

"Say, don't you look down on me!"

The golden knife pressed forward step by step, Hao Se retreated step by step, and in a few steps, Hao Se was forced into a corner.

The big oily face in front of him was so gloomy that it could almost drip ink, as if Hao Se could say a "no" word, and he could immediately squeeze Hao Se into a meat puree.

This is the rhythm of the overlord's hard bow!

Hao Se was squeezed to a blue face, dead fish eyes jumping, and his gaze quickly swept around.

But seeing that a group of bandits were all frightened and cowering, Meng Sanshi, the only one who wanted to come forward to help, was dragged back by Huang Dazhuang and Huang Erzhuang.

The world is hot and cold!

People really have to rely on themselves!

Hao Se gritted his teeth, suddenly raised his eyes, and his burning gaze shot straight at the golden knife.

Mao Jindao was startled, and couldn't help but take half a step back.

But when he saw the young man in front of him, his eyes were awe-inspiring and imposing, and he had the mighty momentum of a gangster.

I'm afraid this person is not small!

Mao Jindao secretly clenched his fists.

Unexpectedly, the next moment, Hao Se suddenly lifted his clothes, knelt on one knee, clasped his fists with both hands, and said sincerely: "The big boss, the little brother is not unwilling to tie the knot with you, but because the big boss is not worth it!"

"Huh?"

Although the younger brother has just come out of the rivers and lakes, he has admired the name of the Mao Jin Knife in Yue Si Zhai for a long time, and everyone on the rivers and lakes said that the Mao Jin Knife is invincible and proud of the world, which can be described as a rare heroine in a hundred years. Now that the little brother has to see the big boss, he knows that the rumors of the rivers and lakes are true! The heroic spirit of the big boss is like a flower, and he is like a flower, and he is so powerful, and he is so bold and good-looking, how can he be worthy of a little person who does nothing like the little brother! Isn't this a flower inserted in cow dung? !

As soon as he said that, Mo said that Mao Jindao was full of surprise, and even the surrounding mountain bandits were stunned.

Huang Erzhuang: "Third master, I didn't expect this kid to be so able to speak?!"

Huang Dazhuang: "Hey, what you say is better than what you sing." ”

Yang Sanshi: "......"

"Ahem-" Mao Jindao coughed dryly and brushed his hair, "Do you really think I look like a flower?"

"Strange flowers in the world!" Hao Se fixed his head.

Mao Jindao's cheeks were quietly red, and his hand was wrapped around his hair: "Then, then you say, what kind of person can be worthy of me?"

"Naturally, he is a great hero and a great hero who stands up to the sky and the earth and has peerless martial arts!" Hao Se raised his arms and shouted.

Mao Jindao's eyes lit up: "I can really find such a husband?!"

"Of course!"

"So, where are you going to find it?"

"Uh......" Hauser was stunned.

"Yes, Brother Hao, where are you looking for such characters?"

The crowd of people around looked at Hao Se, and their eyes were full of shining stars. ()

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