My name is Wang Da Hammer.

I was really unlucky.

I was struck twice by the heavens.

Others will be favored by the emperor, beautiful women, the worst can also be a big official, marry a lot of concubines and have a group of children or something, but I can only be crossed by others, it doesn't matter if it's not a beauty, they are not even a person.

I looked at the big yellow dog lying on the ground, with a helpless expression on my face.

It all started a day ago.

Yesterday, I was honestly walking down the street, and I was about to get home, when suddenly there were dark clouds in the sky, and it rained heavily, and then I became a chicken in the soup.

Maybe I felt that I was already wet, so I felt a little bit broken and broken, and I was no longer in a hurry to go home, but walked slowly.

It was at this time that something happened that blood mold could not be encountered in eight lifetimes.

I saw a big puddle on the road, and I didn't even think about walking into it without thinking about it, and the joy of wading in the water would not be understood by those who were holding umbrellas.

As soon as I stepped into the puddle of water, it was too late and too fast, and a thunderbolt rushed over the nine heavens, and I only felt that my eyes lit up, and everything around me was wrapped in dazzling white light, and then my body was struck by lightning—the reason why I was so sure was because my whole body was numb with electricity.

After being struck by lightning, I fell straight into the puddle, and for a moment I felt dizzy in my head and fluttering in my body, as if I was in Elysium.

After a while, I slowly climbed up from the puddle, and then cursed helplessly: "Why the hell is the water rushing out of the sewer?!"

As soon as I finished saying this, a thunder rushed down from the sky again, and at that moment I really wanted to say to the heavens that I had a sentence that MMP must say, but before I could speak, the thunder slapped me into the water again.

was struck by lightning twice in a row, this is what a lack of virtue I did in my previous life.

I spit out the dirty water in my mouth and cursed and walked home, before I realized something even more terrible and weird - why I was not killed by tens of thousands of volts of lightning.

As soon as I arrived at home, an old man popped up in my mind - very obscene-looking.

"Little friend, congratulations on becoming my 666th disciple. The old man smiled lewdly.

I was a little weird, wondering if I was stupid by the thunderbolt, but the old man immediately said, "You don't have to doubt it, I am really a fairy." ”

"Fool it. "I said in my heart, what the hell will I return to the Jade Emperor.

"Little friends must not think like this, this will violate the rules of heaven. The old man persuaded.

I'm happy now, are the current charlatans so awesome, and they talk about so many rules.

I thought it was a joke, because I still believed that I had been hallucinated and made a fool by lightning, but just as I was about to take a shower, an old man suddenly appeared in front of me.

"And-there's-this-kind--?" I widened.

The old man introduced himself: "Hello Xiaoyou, I am a god in the sky, and I have possessed you today, I hope you can understand me as an immortal, it is not easy to cross over." ”

At that time, I only had two thoughts in my mind, one was that this old man was a liar, and the other was that this old man was a big liar.

"I don't have any money, I'm poor, if you don't leave, I'll call the police!" I thought about it and wittily added, "I have AIDS, you can't mess around!"

The old man rubbed his head and said a little helplessly, "What do you have to do to believe that I am an immortal?"

I immediately smiled and said, "Then you can conjure me up a beautiful woman." ”

The old man pretended to pinch his fingers and counted, then stared at me and said solemnly, "Go take a bath." ”

I smirked, told him to leave, and walked into the bathroom.

"Whoa-la-"

I stood under the shower head and looked at my foul-smelling body, humming the Phoenix legend's "The Most Dazzling National Style" in my mouth, and rubbing my big cock.

Is it my fault that I've grown so big? Obviously not! People who say I don't last up must be jealous of me! Hmph! You bad guys—

I squeezed out Hai Sifei and rubbed my hair, thinking about what to eat at night, when another image suddenly popped up in my mind.

This time it wasn't the old man, it was a string of garbled characters, and just when I hesitated, the string of garbled codes was quickly combined and arranged, and then the sound of ding dong sounded in my head.

"Numbered 19970920, the intelligent robot from the year 2060 is at your service, please select the language-"

Out of pure curiosity, I casually said something in Chinese.

"The selection is successful, the host has been bound, please select the boot mode, the first system mode, and the second real person mode——"

Subconsciously, I said a word of live-action mode, and then there was the most embarrassing and glamorous scene of my twenty years of debut.

As soon as I finished speaking, countless green digital rays appeared in the bathroom, and then these rays gradually mimicked a humanoid object.

Then I realized that something was wrong, and then I remembered what the old man had just said to me - this guy is really a fairy, right?

"Hello host!"

A little Lori smiled and appeared in front of my bare body.

Little Lori is about fifteen or sixteen years old, wearing a Hanfu skirt on the top, white stockings on the bottom, delicate facial features, and a proud figure, just like a little princess who came out of ancient times.

I looked at Lori for a few seconds, and then suddenly remembered that something was not quite right.

"Ahh

I screamed, then covered my big brother, and shouted incoherently, "Close your eyes!"

Later, I thought about it carefully, and it seemed that I was not the one who suffered, so why did I struggle so hard at that time?

Little Lori was very obedient, closed her eyes obediently, and said in a coquettish voice: "The master can't do bad things to me yet!"

I was taken aback by this little Lori who suddenly appeared.,It's true.,If a person suddenly appears in front of you when you're taking a shower.,No matter how good-looking and enchanting she is.,Your first feeling must be panic and fear.。

In a panic, I stepped on the soap that had fallen on the ground, and my body fell directly to the back.

I proved a profound truth with facts: picking up soap butt is really painful.

Little Lori's big eyes with great aura came out of her fingers: "Detect that the owner is in danger, do you activate the safety protection system?"

I immediately shook my head and hurriedly said, "No, no!"

"The rejection is invalid, the security protection system has been activated—"

After saying this, little Lori immediately looked down at me and showed a sweet smile.

But in my opinion, this smile is not an angel's smile at all, it's obviously a lewd mo, uh no, it's a devil's smile!