Chapter 46: 舞い落ちる雪のように
The first time she saw the kid – it was a time to call him "the kid" – she was just curious to look at his back running on the pitch, he was serious, but he was also terrible, she was just interested in him, the maturity that didn't match her age always attracted people.
The first time she talked to him, although he probably didn't know that the first conversation between the two was at that time, she deeply experienced his flamboyant and presumptuous side, of course, there was another side, the immature and childish side that didn't understand the girl's mood. She was just amused that she could meet that person again by such a coincidence.
However, because of that somewhat child's playful agreement, she had expectations, and the first time she watched the broadcast of a football match in her life was under that circumstances. Of course, she also knew the outcome of the match that had a profound impact on many.
So, unfortunately, the two should not be able to meet in the future.
Until the first official meeting between the two, in fact, it was Yukina Kogi's third impression of Yukihama Kazuya. What did you think of talking to him in the first place? Yukina thinks that it should just be a response to the Christmas promise. It would be interesting if the other person didn't remember the agreement and continued to talk about it because of it.
However, until the end, she didn't say that thing, for many reasons, at first she felt that after saying that incident, maybe there would be no room for communication between the two, and later, she found that the high-spirited child she had seen seemed to have undergone some great changes.
Yukina knew that it was the impact of that game, if not all, that it should at least have a big impact, and she didn't know how much of an impact the unreliable dialogue on Christmas Eve had on Kazuya, but, at least, she should be responsible-Kogi Yukina felt that perhaps, this ridiculous idea of her own moment was the origin of everything.
Playing the role of a sister very well - she is already familiar with this, she doesn't hate this role, Yukina Kogi has always been a very empathetic person, and after the events in middle school, her grasp of interpersonal relationships has reached a level of perfection.
However, dealing with Yuhihama Kazuya is never a problem that can be solved by relying on the grasp of interpersonal relationships. She approached him with curiosity and a sense of mission as a savior, but she was never able to find a position for herself, whether it was a reliable senior, a close friend, or even a substitute for her sister, she perfectly undertook the task of each role, but it was precisely because there were too many roles to play that she couldn't grasp the relationship with Kazuya.
When a person approaches her in a normal way, she can accurately judge the other party's intentions and do a good job of positioning herself, which makes her always keep a proper distance from people like the flower of Kaolin. However, when she chooses to take the initiative to approach someone, no matter what the reason, when Yukina-chan's secret is gradually revealed, her response is really not clever.
Yukina actually doesn't know when she won't like to carry her sister's heavy burden. Perhaps, the opportunity was when Kazuya saw that he was torn between principles and helping Koharu, but she felt that maybe her true thoughts would have come earlier. Every "senior" of Kazuya Hihama is like a wall to her, so that the relationship between the two stops there.
- If you find this position right from the beginning, of course it will be fine, but you know too much, Kazuya Yuhihama! Even if you want to leave, want to control, and want to readjust, it's no longer possible.
Because, the memories of two people have become an integral part of me - and memories are impossible to forget.
Of course, she also wants to help Kazuya, but it's not out of the concern of the seniors for the juniors, nor out of the concern of the indebted about the saved, but quite simply, Yukina Kogi wants to help Yubihama Kazuya.
- But, in the same way, all she wants is the other party's understanding, so sometimes, she knows too much about He, although she can see through the meaninglessness of the other party's insistence at a glance.
Therefore, even if he will be wrong, she will only continue to refuse with her awkward posture, without giving any possible solution.
Therefore, although it would hurt her heart to look at his confusion, she still wanted to stop her help willfully.
If everything was as good as his sister told his brother what to do, she knew that the shackles of the relationship between the two would only continue to entangle and tighten.
In the dialogue, as always, she uses the conversation between her predecessors and juniors, but she has been using an awkward approach in her practice, watching the other party go further and further down a wrong path, and she can only express it by suggestion, she feels sad, but, Yukina has her own insistence.
"I believe what Kogi Senpai said, I believe that Kogi Senpai's senior wants Kowa to understand, and wants Kowa to understand - but that's not enough!" Not long ago, in the midst of that heated argument, Yui told Yukina so.
That's right, it's not enough, as a sister, as a sister who has always been relied on, it's enough to express it more clearly. Yui thinks so, as long as he tells Kazu, there is also a problem, then he will naturally accept it and will change. I didn't tell him explicitly that this was my own dereliction of duty - but it was just a dereliction of duty as an older sister.
Of course, she can know Yui's efforts, and of course she can know her dissatisfaction with herself, but the lines of thinking of the two are different from the beginning.
She can more or less perceive Haruki Kitahara's thoughts, she can also perceive the somewhat uneven triangle relationship in the light music club, and she can even feel the awkward alliance between Fuyuma and Yarn and Yubihama Kazuya, for this, she is excited, Yubihama Kazuya, who has closed her feelings for a long time, may not be able to correctly judge the truth of the relationship called "jealousy", but girls are always the more sensitive party.
She could have waited if she could, and she could have waited if she had just carefully switched.
Yukina is a very patient person, and if Kazuya understands wrong, she can give guidance, but, she doesn't have time anymore, after graduation, there is no relationship between seniors and juniors, and when she can't see his changes, then there is no point in waiting for herself.
What's more, there are other opponents who are working hard!
When Sugiura Koharu is working hard with a childish rampage, she can think back to her middle school self and encourage her, and when Ichiyuki is gradually smoothing out the rift between her and Kazuya in a roundabout way, she can also help Kazuya like a senior, and even, she can see the current state of Yukino under the snow very clearly. However, she will be scared after all, Yukina knows where her self-confidence comes from, and her self-confidence comes from the tacit understanding and understanding with Kazuya, and she created this image. But where is her advantage when she is gradually giving the other person an idea that he doesn't understand him?
If you willfully demand understanding, you will be alienated, and if you don't do so, you will not be able to break through the barriers. Yukina Kogi has never been a brilliant strategist, and she is better at cocooning herself than she thinks.
Before she knew it, she was already on the same running line as everyone else.
So, when Koharu Sugiura is at a loss because of the change in Yukino under the snow, she gives her a final answer. Make an effort to express your thoughts, that's fine, and try to be yourself, that's fine.
"Respect your true thoughts. This sentence is applicable in any case.
Yukina remembers that this sentence was what Haruki Kitahara would say in order to persuade herself to join her light music fans, and Yukina knew what Kitahara was thinking, but there was nothing wrong with this sentence itself.
After her own proposal to change the song was rejected, Yukina did not continue to fight, but silently continued to prepare - she almost stubbornly believed Yui Yui's judgment, because she knew that, in a sense, Yui Yuhihama had similarities with herself.
But this is only a manifestation of surrendering one's future to fate.
- However, it is clear that this time the goddess of fate favors herself. She gave herself the opportunity to perform.
What will happen next, how much will her remarks as a school idol affect her, and how much will it affect her MS General Wu Gao Sanlianba, she won't care anymore - in the final analysis, the goal of Sanlianba, and now her goal is not the same?
As for the possible waves, leave it to him, right?" Yukina thought with some joy and some malice.
However, if you have to give a judgment, the straight ball is not a good choice right now, and she knows it. The current Yubihama Kazuya is not the time to be able to accept other people's feelings. However, this is my best chance to break the barrier.
When I don't want to face you as a sister, I hope you can stop forcing yourself to treat me as your senior or sister.
Maybe you will doubt the appearance of the real Koki Yukina, then, the current Koki Yukina is the real Koki Yukina.
"—But, I think, there should be one more person who can support me standing here. Hawkers, saying that he supports me to stand here may be my wishful thinking, and his real thoughts are probably not willing for me to stand here, right?"
- I can't find him, and sure enough, as expected!
"But what I'm doing on this stage, I think, he should be clear by now. ”
- But, you know it's fine, don't you?
"I think I'd be happy if he could hear my singing voice now, and of course, I think he could hear it. ”
Kogi Yukina's singing in front of everyone, but it's just a song for you.
"Next, it's a song that Yukina Koki wants to sing"
"The name of the song is - 舞い落ちる雪のように (as if snow falls)"
心配してますさみしがりやのあなた
[I'm always worried about you who feel lonely easily]
強がるわたしがもっともっとさみしい
[In fact, I am far more lonely than you]
あなたとの想い出のすべてを雪のように
[Although I also want to let you and my memories]
真っ白に染め消してしまえばいいと
[Everything is like snow]
思うけれども
[Erase into a piece of pure white]
舞い落ちるわたしの今
[Dancing in the sky and my time now]
静かに積もりささやく
[Whispering quietly and quietly depositing]
その言葉はまた舞い上がり
[Your words are floating to heaven again]
キラキラと降り落ちてく
【Glittering and Falling】
胸の中で消えることはない
[Forever reverberating in my heart]
さみしい時には
[When you are lonely]
すぐに会いに行(ゆ)くから
[I'll see you soon]
約束はいつも叶えられないまま
[As a result, this agreement has never been fulfilled]
あなたとの想い出がいつかは雪のように
[Although I also want to let you and my memories]
跡形もなく解けてしまえばいいと
[Someday like snow]
思うけれども
[Melt without a trace]
舞い落ちるあなたの今
【Dancing in the sky with your present time】
静かに積もりささやく
[Silent deposition of sound and whispering]
その名前はいつもいつでも
[Your name is always anytime, anywhere]
心優しくさせてく
[Makes me feel calm]
胸の中で消えることはない
[Forever reverberating in my heart]
舞い落ちる小さな夢
[Dancing in the sky with that little dream]
大好きだったあなたの
【Favorite You】
その言葉は魔法にように
[The words spoken are like magic]
心優しくさせてく
[Makes me feel warm inside]
舞い落ちて解けてく夢
[Dancing in the sky with that little dream]
忘れられないあなたの
【Unforgettable You】
その名前は魔法のように
[There's a kind of magic in that name]
心切なくさせてく
[It makes me feel sad for a while]
どんな時も消えることはない
[It will not fade at any time]
I'm sorry.,Kazuya.,Actually,It's good to be an older sister.,But,Yukina Kogi has always been a greedy person!
I'm sorry.,And also.,Actually,It's not that I don't want to help you.,But,Kogi Yukina's persistence.,Sometimes I hate it myself!
I'm sorry, Kazuya, because it can't be changed or disappear, so allow me to express my little dream!
-----------------------------------PS---------------------------------
It's all here.,It's better not to say a lot of things.,I like Yukina.,It's really a happy thing to be able to write about Yukina in your own pen.,That's probably it.。