If she knew, she wouldn't have chosen to go back to the sun to find her brother, after all, each has its own life trajectory, if her brother just doesn't want to come out to see her, and doesn't want to cause mundane things anymore, she won't insist anymore. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

All of this may have been doomed when she came out, but she was ignorant at the time, and she just thought it would be good to find her brother, but in the end, she was fiercely trapped, not only did she not find her brother, but she also caused a lot of trouble for herself.

Although, she never wants to experience these things again, but time is always over a second, and it can never be changed.

Neither the past, the present, nor the future can be changed.

At the moment when Fu Jiayue used her spiritual power to save Fanfan, she actually hesitated, as a mother, she was still selfish. In fact, until now, she has not been ready to be a mother. She knew that she was not a good mother, and she also knew that she would not love anyone, and even herself, she did not know how to love.

When she was a child, Fan Fan also liked to stick to her mother like an ordinary child, but because of her selfishness, because she remembered the face she least wanted to see every time she saw Fan Fan, she pushed him away from her body several times.

She was running away, but Fanfan was just a child, he just thought she didn't like him, he cried, several times, he cried and told her if he had done something wrong.

She didn't know what to say to him, she couldn't even comfort him, she just watched him cry. On the contrary, when he saw her sad face, he apologized to her, and he thought that he had done something wrong, so she got angry and ignored him.

She didn't know what to say, but she didn't even want to hug him.

He seemed to be afraid of being abandoned by her, so he embraced her with the courage to hug her.

It's a strange feeling, or it's wonderful, the moment Fan Fan hugged her, it was very wonderful, she didn't want to push him away, and even wanted to hug him tightly.

But she was still afraid, afraid that she would regret it in the next second, and would take the initiative to push him away, so she didn't move, just stiffened and didn't move, and let him hold it.

Fan Fan stared at her with a pair of big eyes in confusion, and later, he hugged her tightly.

He didn't have much strength, but he only took it, and it seemed like he was going to knock her over.

At that time, she really felt that her heart was dripping blood.

She reached out and hugged him like a ghost, he was very small, so small that she had never thought of it before, and her small body was very soft, so that she couldn't help but want to pinch his little face.

Seeing that she was no longer angry, Fan Fan burst into tears and laughed, and seeing her hand frozen in mid-air, Fan Fan took the initiative to step forward with his little face and said, "Mother, you can pinch it, pinch it casually, don't be polite to Fan Fan." ”

At that time, she laughed, or cried, this child, how did she refuse to touch the grandmother next door when she came, she still knew some of Fanfan's temper, don't look at him small, but he is very stubborn, if there is one thing in his heart, no matter how you tell him, he will not change.

However, this time, he took the initiative to let her touch it.

When she gently grabbed Fan Fan's cheek with her fingers, it seemed to be too strong, Fan Fan's little face suddenly wrinkled into a small bitter melon, she was so frightened that she immediately let go, but Fan Fan hurriedly waved his hand and replied, "It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt, it's just, mother, why do I think you seem to be pinching the little ash." ”

This little ash was raised by Fu Jiayue from a family at the entrance of the village, at that time she just wanted to bring back a pet to relieve her boredom, but when she brought the little ash back, she found that Fan Fan liked it very much, and when he was bored, he often held the little ash to play.

Even about his heart, he will tell Xiao Ash.

It wasn't until she bumped into her secretly that she really understood how much she owed to this child.

So, she pretended not to like this little gray and rarely spent time with Xiao Ash, and at the same time, Fan Fan spent a lot more time playing with Xiao Gray.

Because she rarely wants to stay with Fan Fan, she is still too selfish, she doesn't want to evoke memories that she doesn't want to recall, her escape this time is to return to a peaceful life, but what she didn't expect is that there will be Fan Fan, this is an accident.

Maybe, maybe it can be regarded as a kind of destiny from God, so that even if she wants to escape, she will have something to do with Xie Bai.

Fan Fan obviously didn't notice this, and with Xiao Ash, he had less time to come to her and pester her.

However, when Fan Fan really didn't pestering her as before, she felt empty in her heart, obviously how much she wanted him to spend less time with her, but when he really stopped pestering her like before, she felt empty in her heart.

However, what she didn't expect was that just two days later, Fan Fan stopped playing with Xiao Ash all day and began to pester her again. She asked him why, and he said that when he saw that she had ignored Ash, Ash was pitiful, and spent two days reasoning with him.

And although he likes Ash, he prefers to be with his mother.

At that time, Fu Jiayue wanted to cry very much, but she still didn't cry. First, she didn't want Fan Fan to see her cowardly appearance, and second, she didn't want to really deny her previous thoughts.

In the past two days, she tried to tell herself that it would be a good thing if Fan Fan really distanced himself from her, so that she didn't want to see him and wouldn't feel so guilty.

However, everything was so unexpected, this child sensibly made her feel distressed.

That night, she cried, she hid in the quilt in the room and cried, this was the first time she didn't dare to cry openly, as long as she cried before, her brother would compromise, and later, she cried, Xie Bai and Qiao Yushu would compromise with her.

Although in retrospect, it is true that that time was not the most endured by her, but, in fact, they endured more than she did.

In fact, she has always been the object of protection.

And now, instead of this privilege, she has become a protector.

And this person, no one else, is a child she has not been ready to accept.

Yes, mother's love is great, and it is said that the mother is the person who loves her children in the world, but when she comes to her, she feels that it is wrong, she is not, indeed, she is not.

She has never hurt anyone, perhaps, except for herself, she has not really thought about anyone, and who she cares about.

In his previous life, his brother was so difficult, his parents were forced to be officials in the court, and he couldn't meet them, and it was his brother who provoked the whole family. However, she didn't know anything about it, she only knew how to mess around, and she only knew that she was causing trouble for her brother all day long.

However, her brother never spoke to her harshly, and even scolded her, and at most it was just punishment.

punished her to stand on the Taishi chair, saying that it was a punishment, but after a while, she shouted that her feet were sore, and she was let down.

Speaking of which, the elder brother is like her little father, she once hugged her brother and said that she would be her brother's wife in the future, and the elder brother laughed and flicked it on her head, only saying that she could not be a wife, but in the future he would not love his wife as much as her sister.

When she heard this, she was happy, but at that time she was still young, and she did not understand the true meaning of his wife, and only thought that her brother had deceived her, until she died later, and when she was in the underworld, every time she thought of this scene, she could not help laughing.

In her opinion, the loved ones are not as good as relatives, relatives will not bring her troubles, and lovers are also her fault, others can love people well, but she is so complicated, so, in her mind, if she chooses someone to live with her for a lifetime, she chooses her brother, so that there will not be too much trouble.

It's just that she doesn't even have any news from her brother now, besides, if the sister-in-law knows about this in the coming year, she doesn't know what kind of vinegar to give birth to.

After all, it was just her will.

Let's say, after that night, after Fu Jiayue thought a lot and cried out a lot of pain deposited in her heart, she seemed to figure it out, no matter whose child Fan Fan was, no matter whether Fan Fan came to this world when she was ready, she was Fan Fan's mother, wasn't she?

That night, she stayed up all night.

The next day, she cooked a bowl of porridge and went to Fanfan's hut.

Fan Fan was still sleeping at that time, and he was ashamed to say that he didn't even know Fan Fan's schedule all these years.

Fan Fan was very happy to see her coming, and was about to throw herself into her arms, but she hesitated, she knew that Fan Fan was afraid that she would hate him, and then left him again.

Fu Jiayue touched his head, wrung a towel to help him wash his face, and after helping him rinse his mouth, she fed Fan Fan meat porridge spoonful.

Fan Fan was obviously surprised, when she wanted to feed him at first, he still resisted a little, but she strongly demanded that he be compromised. Fu Jiayue knew that Fan Fan was actually very happy, but he had gotten used to doing it himself over the years, and it seemed extremely awkward or embarrassed to be fed by Fu Jiayue for a while.

But it was only for a while, Fan Fan got used to it, and he even stretched out his little hand to play with the jade pendant on her waist, he said that he had long thought that this jade pendant was very good-looking.

Speaking of this jade pendant, Fu Jiayue was stunned for a moment, and then realized that the jade pendant she had been wearing all these years was given to her by Xie Bai at the beginning. She actually wore the jade bottle he gave him for five years.

It seems that she has been hypnotically telling herself that this jade pendant is just good to wear, so she wears it.

Actually, subconsciously, is she missing Xie Bai in another way?

Maybe yes, but she still doesn't want to admit it.

Fan Fan saw that Fu Jiayue's face suddenly became cloudy, he suddenly cried, he held her sleeve tremblingly, and cried to her, "Mother, it's Fan Fan's fault, don't be angry, don't ignore Fan Fan anymore." ”

Pulled back from her thoughts, Fu Jiayue looked at Fan Fan apologetically, touched her head and said, "Silly child, you're right, it's your mother who just thought about the side matter, if you like this jade pendant, you can give it to Fan Fan in the future." ”

Saying that, Fu Jiayue ripped off the jade pendant on her waist, this jade pendant, which was also given by Xie Bai and transferred to his son, is also a good destination, it is better than losing it in the end.

In this way, you won't feel ashamed in your heart, right?

"Mother, what you said is true?" Fan Fan's eyes suddenly lit up, and he stared at Fu Jiayue eagerly, as if he wanted to catch all her subtle expressions.

Fu Jiayue smiled lightly, seeing that he still didn't dare to take the jade pendant with a face full of disbelief, she shook the jade pendant gently in front of his eyes, and said, "Don't you accept this jade pendant?"

Fan Fan's small brows furrowed slightly, as if he was thinking about it like a little adult.

This frown made Fu Jiayue stunned, this action is very similar to Xie Bai, and Xie Bai is also like this when he frowns.

She shook her head with a wry smile, and then showed a teasing expression on her face and said, "If you don't want it, then I'll give it to Xiao Ash." ”

Seeing that Fu Jiayue was about to take away the jade pendant, Fan Fan hurriedly snatched the jade pendant in her hand, hugged it in her arms, and said, "If you want it, who said you don't want it? Besides, Xiao Ash is a dog, so he doesn't know what a jade pendant is!"

Fu Jiayue rubbed her head with a smile and said, "This jade pendant is precious, you have to take good care of it!"

"Don't worry, Mother, I will take good care of what you sent. Fan Fan smiled happily, this was the first time his mother had given him something.

He has nothing else interesting in this small village, and there are rare things like jade pendants in the whole village, and the village chief who has been out of the village and returned a few years ago. When Fan Fan heard the village chief's son boast to him that he had a jade pendant, he also remembered that his mother had it, so he retorted that he also had it.

But one by one they always laughed at him for not having a father, and they didn't believe what he said, but only that he was a liar.

However, at that time, he didn't dare to tell Fu Jiayue the idea of showing the jade pendant to his friends.

God knows, how strong the comparison psychology of children is.

During that period of time, he often secretly observed the jade pendant on Fu Jiayue's waist, and he just watched it from a distance, he was ridiculed by his friends since he was a child without a father, and this time, he also wanted to dominate in front of his friends.

It's just that his mother doesn't seem to like him very much, although he usually pesters Fu Jiayue very much, but he doesn't dare to be too presumptuous, Fu Jiayue's face changed slightly, he hurriedly stopped going down, for fear that Fu Jiayue would be angry with him.

And this time, Fu Jiayue was going to take the initiative to give him the jade pendant, or the first gift he received, he didn't know how happy he was.

However, thinking about it, his heart is endlessly bitter, over the years, the little friends will from time to time give them their parents to give them small fish, wooden toys, hunting and catch small animals or something for them to play, when they receive this gift, they will come to share with them, play together.

Almost all the children have shared it, and in the end, only Fan Fan remains.

Finally, one day a child asked him aloud why he never brought a present.

At that time, many children also noticed this question, and asked again and again, he did not know how to answer, and if he answered truthfully, they would probably have another reason to laugh at him in the future, that is, not only the child whom the father did not like, but also the mother, did not like him.