In front of him, there was a small square table, the table was covered with fuchsia flannel, and there was a folding fan and a handkerchief on it, and the vertical microphone was beside him, and the middle node was bent, and the microphone was facing his face. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

He Xiangdong reached out and adjusted the position of the microphone, pulling the microphone below his chin, so that the microphone could not block his face.

Seeing that the audience in front of him had returned to their seats, he settled down in his heart, changed to a slightly more comfortable posture and stood up, and said what he was going to say today.

He Xiangdong is full of demeanor on stage, and his gestures have his own bearing: "I came to the stage today mainly to tell you a small story, this story happened in our group, I am a cross talk actor, I have a partner named Xue Guo, the person who came to the stage with me to talk about cross talk, you may have all seen it, a tall and fat big man." ”

"Xue Guo, he is not young anymore, he just talked about a person who is also from Beijing, and he went to someone's girl's house before coming to Baoji to perform, this is to meet his future father-in-law and mother-in-law, they are all old li'er. ”

"It's all good, Xue Guo is also sensible and brings things over, the girl's family is also very satisfied with Xue Guo, she made lunch, made a table of dishes, especially hearty, pushed the cup on the table and changed the lamp, it was very pleasant, Xue Guo also drank several cups with the future father-in-law. ”

I don't know if it's because of a bad stomach or what, Xue Guo's stomach hurts, and he was embarrassed to go straight to the toilet for the first time, but he couldn't help it, and in the end, the girl showed it, so he let him go directly. ”

"The girl's family lives in a building, and the toilet she uses is also a flush toilet. Xue Guo sat up, and the inside of his stomach was uncomfortable, he was forced, and with a loud sound, a black and thick thing came out. ”

The audience's faces are more and more exciting, and no one has ever seen an actor who will talk about directly on stage, and he will talk so vividly. The faces of the actors backstage were also more wonderful than the other, Mr. Shi frowned and snorted softly, Bao inquired and his mouth grew in surprise, and his eyes looked at He Xiangdong as if he were looking at a god, Xue Guo wiped his sweat and smiled bitterly.

He Xiangdong doesn't care at all, as long as the stage effect can be good, where else can he take care of so much: "Everyone knows that the flushing toilet is not big, plus Xue Guola's is thick and big, he is going to die, two or three times at a time, this is not moving, Xue Guohan has come down." Everyone, think about how embarrassing it is, the first time I went to someone's woman's house, the gift he was carrying in his hand was still too little, and he had to leave a thick and big one. ”

As soon as the words "poof......" came out, the audience couldn't stop laughing, and this burden sounded so loudly. What kind of cross talk to say on what occasion, the people who came to watch this performance were railway employees and their families, most of them were married, and they were not married, and they all had the embarrassing experience of going to each other's house for the first time, all kinds of things, and now listening to this paragraph is particularly resonant.

Seeing that the first burden sounded, He Xiangdong continued to say: "Xue Guo didn't come out for a long time, his girlfriend was in a hurry, and immediately knocked on the door and asked, 'Guo'er Guo'er, why aren't you okay'." Our Xue Guo is a cross talk actor, so he will be improvised, and he said calmly at that time, 'I'm fighting against evil forces'. ”

"Hahaha......" This time not only the audience was laughing, but the backstage bag inquired also laughed, even the beautiful host couldn't hold back, blushing and covering her mouth and laughing, she felt very embarrassed, but she couldn't help it at all.

He Xiangdong said: "His girlfriend couldn't help but push the door in, and she was stupid when she saw the scene in front of her, oh, this thing is too spectacular, at that time, a pretty face was frightened and discolored, so thick and black." ”

"Huh......" The audience booed in disgust, and then laughed wildly, a few laughed so hard that they all covered their stomachs, and now no one wants to leave.

He Xiangdong said it was cool, and the audience was also happy, and the expressions of the actors in the background were much richer, especially Mr. Shi, whose faces were dark.

Since he said it, He Xiangdong didn't care about anything: "These two people didn't come out of the toilet, and the girl's parents waited for a long time outside, so they didn't see these two children come out." The girl's mother was anxious, and the girl's mother thought that something had happened to the two, so she called a few times at the door of the toilet, and the two of them didn't dare to agree, her mother was also an anxious child, and she opened the door by herself in a hurry, and rushed in. ”

"Hahahaha......" shook his burden and filled the house with laughter.

"The girl's father heard his daughter-in-law's cry and was also anxious, picked up a stick and rushed in, 'What's the matter, what's the matter, what's wrong?' He Xiangdong learned from his father's recklessness, and when he saw the toilet, his face was full of astonishment: "'My mom, what kind of thing is this, I've lived for more than fifty years, I've never seen such a big one, young man, you can be physical, you can come out so big?'." ”

"Hahaha......" said a small paragraph, although it is very vulgar, but the effect is very good, the front and back laughed, the backstage actors couldn't hold back, and even Mr. Shi's black face kept twitching.

He Xiangdong also raised his head and laughed, he came up to say long stand-up comedy, but he wanted to throw off a few burdens before talking about cross talk.

As those who watch the excitement say, stand-up comedy is difficult to say, especially long-form stand-up comedy, which is biased towards storytelling, and may not be able to get out of a burden for half a day, and there is some procrastination at the beginning.

He Xiangdong is also very worried that he hasn't said it for two minutes, and some viewers are impatient to leave, people are going to go home, this is to let themselves pull it back, people's hearts to leave are still very strong, and if they can't get the point they want in their hearts, then no one will really listen to it, and the cross talk will definitely be yellow.

So before getting into the main topic, he first came to a stand-up joke, to make the audience laugh first, to hook up with the audience, so that the next thing is easy to say, this is a little trick.

As soon as a few burdens came out, the audience couldn't stop laughing, this can be regarded as hooking up with others, and He Xiangdong is about to start talking about the text.

He Xiangdong stopped smiling and said to the audience: "This is all true, really, everything I said is true, whether it is present or past, even if it is ancient, this is well documented." ”

"Just like the story we are going to tell today is true, where does the story take place, it is in the Zhenwu Temple outside the Fuxing City Gate in Beijing, and the time when the story takes place is in the Daoguang period of the Qing Dynasty. Zhenwu Temple has been re-raised and renovated in Daoguang ten years, so the Zhenwu Temple at that time was still very lively, covering an area of two acres and eight points, and there are twelve houses. This story starts from the door of the Zhenwu Temple, late autumn......"

Backstage, Xue Guo was stunned and said in surprise: "Why did he talk about the nine-headed case?"

"What's wrong?" Mr. Shi asked with a frown.

Xue Guo turned around and replied, "Master, Dongzi said earlier that he was going to talk about officialdom tonight, I don't know why he said the nine-head case." ”

"Is there such a thing?" Mr. Shi's brows tightened. (To be continued.) )