Description: The following fragment is the experience of 101 Gang of authors analyzing why the storyline is dull and not brilliant, for two reasons: first, the character portrayal is distorted and not brilliant; second, the author's perspective analysis is too wordy, and the perspective of the protagonist is not as much as possible. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

After modification, it is slightly better.

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Class 4 - Happy for You 23:59:15

The cry came from outside Zhangjiashui Prison, and when Lu Shi arrived, he was stunned and angry by the tragic situation at that time.

Nearly 100 villagers, all with withered faces, and even more bloodstains on their bodies, such a body The lower half of the body was blackened by the sewage bubbles of the dungeon, emitting a burst of foul smell, Zhang Laoshi was carried by several villagers with a door panel, and there was no good meat up and down the whole body, and the black water soaked in black water between the scars and scars, the whole person was in a blur, and he was not alive at all.

Honestly ignoring the stench, he stepped forward and took Zhang Honest's hand, feeling the coldness and lifelessness of that hand.

Lu Shi's nose was sour, and tears fell involuntarily.

This is the first honest person in the world who is really good to himself, takes care of himself, and shelters himself, and has to even half a bowl of porridge and water to himself, a good person who honestly has no quarrel with anyone.

I wanted to repay his custody and care wholeheartedly, and use my little knowledge to change his situation, so that their family could survive this boundless troubled world, but it was precisely his own arrival that not only failed to improve them, but pushed them into the abyss of family ruin and death earlier, and the guilt in my heart was incomprehensible.

may have felt the warmth in Lu Shi's hand, Zhang Laoshi, who was dying, slowly opened his eyes, saw that it was Lu Shi, smiled hard, and comforted Lu Shi almost silently: "Master can't be like this, they are all hard-working people, this is all fate, and I can't complain about others." He took a hard breath and said: "But my Zhang family is grateful to the master, and I didn't let a few children of my Zhang family starve to death at that time, which is the blessing of my Zhang family." ”

Lu Shi's tears burst out of his eyes, and he choked up and couldn't say any more.

After gasping for a long time, Zhang Laoshi's eyes flashed unbearably, and he said in a low voice: "Master, I know that you have done these things for me, the court is really not worth it, thanks to your blessing, I saw Huang Chengcheng's millet and wheat this year, which I have never seen in these years, if those are even a little bit of mine, how good it would be, I haven't eaten snow-white steamed buns for a long time, and drank the thick millet porridge." The voice murmured that he was immersed in the imaginary aroma of snow-white steamed buns and millet porridge.

Lu Shi's tears couldn't be stopped, he just held Zhang Shishi's hand and cried as he held it.

"Master, I ask you, what about my two sons?"

Lu Shi turned around and asked the official kneeling on the left side of the road in a loud voice: "Say, where are my two brothers?

The officials knelt on the left side of the road with a trembling face, and kept buttoning Zhao Dahai's head, "Lord Zhao, we are all sent from the upper branch and the lower branches, and we are all colleagues." ”

In fact, the real Zhao Dahai and this official are not colleagues. Zhao Dahai is not inferior, but after all, there is a hereditary title of 100 households, which is an official, and this official is just a small official, but he just wants to pull a relationship and ask for personal favors.

Zhao Dahai kicked up and knocked down the official, and said loudly: "My brother wrote your words." ”

"Yes, yes, the Zhang family brother is in the county jail, just waiting for the Zhang family to raise money and grain for the windmill drawings in the county and then release him. ”

"Really, let them go?"

There is already hope in Lu Shi's eyes, the drawings are ready-made, and the money and food are now available, so it really saves trouble and saves the Zhang brothers, but Zhang is honest's wish, and the Zhang family takes the Zhang brothers to the south together, which is serious.

"To be honest, what are you going to do with the Zhang family brothers?" Zhao Dahai was not as innocent as Lu Shi, and asked fiercely.

The official peeked at it, knew that Zhao Dahai was an official, and knew that he was tired of it, so he couldn't hide it at the moment, so he had to tell the truth: "Even if you wait to gather grain and grass, the Zhang brothers are going to sell Mongolia as slaves." ”

Although the voice was low, it struck everyone's heart like a yellow bell. No wonder most of the servants in previous years were never heard from as soon as the master was gone, and it is no wonder that the young men who were forced to pay money and grain in previous years were no longer alive or dead, but they were all sold to Mongolia as slaves by the government.

Zhao Laoshi was dead on the door panel, and suddenly, Lu Shi felt something

The strength of the holding hand.

"Rebellion—" Zhang Laoshi howled, and then died suddenly.

Lu Shi burst into tears, watching Xiaoya and Xiaosan crying miserably on their father's body, Lu Shi was already in tears. In this world, the court has forced an honest man like Zhang Laoshi to shout rebellion, so is there any meaning to ZTE?

Guo Tianxing and Zhao Dahai were shocked by Zhang Laoshi's deathbed shout, and they were shocked on the spot.

To tell the truth, Guo Tianxing defeated Zhangjiabao, just to let the homeless poles gathered around him have money and food for the winter, and at the same time, he also realized Zhao Dahai's kindness, and he had not thought of planting a flag to rebel in his bones, which was also the status quo of the pole in the early Ming Dynasty at that time, although they took up arms, they did not realize that they had begun the grand cause of overthrowing the Zhu Ming Dynasty. They still think that they are the subjects of the imperial court, and their hatred is only concentrated on the officials and gentry who directly oppress and bully them, they are just forced by hunger and cold, and use force to thwart the government's urging, and take the capital of life from the granary of the rich and big, but Zhang Laoshi's cry with the last strength of his life is like a thunderstorm, shaking the hearts of everyone present.

This shock made everyone think about a question they had never thought about before - whether they were already rebelling now.

The crying in the courtyard stopped for a while, and hundreds of people in the entire courtyard became silent, whether it was the villagers of Zhangjiazhuang or the pole of the star, they all looked at Lu Shi, Lu Shi took a deep breath, looked at the eyes of doubt, or excitement, or fear, and was about to say something, but Zhao Dahai pulled Lu Shi and said: "Brother and a certain decision, we have rescued people now, are we going to settle these wounded?"

Lu Shi was taken aback, and suddenly understood Zhao Dahai's good intentions, now the situation is complicated, no matter how it is decided, it is indeed not appropriate to make a decision now, this matter is indeed not suitable for a decision now, and nodded at the moment: "This matter is big, and I will make a decision when the matter here is over." ”

As soon as Lu Shi said this, Lu Shi obviously heard that there were people in the crowd who breathed a sigh of relief, some sighed in disappointment, and some were insensitive. This is the human heart now.

Lu Shixian beckoned dozens of young people to carry these rescued villagers to the hall, found clean water for everyone to treat and bandage, and then comforted Zhang Xiaosan, and said that when his brother rescued him, he would arrange Zhang Laoshi's burial, and he would definitely let Zhang Laoshi mourn after his death.

Zhang Xiaosan is still young, and he also has a sense of dependence on Lu Shi, everything is waiting for this master to arrange, and Lu Shi sent two young men to Zhangjiazhuang to quickly carry Aunt Zhang over, so as to take care of his man's future.

Then he took Guo Tianxing to command his subordinates to take in the Zhang family's servant women and maids, this is actually a kind of protection, and after careful questioning, it is true that most of those servants and maids are repaid or bought, and they are all poor, Lu Shi promised them that once the matter is over, he will give them some property and go home with them, and the same is true for those families.

There is great sorrow, there is great joy, under the leadership of the third housekeeper of the Zhang family, the assets of the Zhang family were counted, but everyone was dumbfounded.

At the bottom of a water pavilion, a cellar was found, and when it was opened, a musty smell came out.

"Zhang Laocai's treasury is here, kings, please take a look. "The three stewards flattered the archway.

"How much?" Zhao Dahai asked casually.

"I don't know, it's just that I only see people entering but not coming out every year, Lord Zhao, please count it yourself. ”

"Come on a few people, go down and have a look, and then move in and count. Guo Tianxing excitedly summoned a few henchmen and commanded loudly. The Zhang family's accumulation in a hundred years must be a lot, and it is enough to live for a while.

Those henchmen happily went down to investigate, and after a while, they all swayed and climbed up, and after coming up, they opened their mouths wide in confusion and did not make a sound.

Guo Tianxing thought that his subordinates were stunned by the town things in the cellar, and went up with one person and one kick, "What's the situation below, are you blocked by demons?"

After kicking a few times, one of them came back to his senses and said ignorantly: "Silver, it's all silver, it's silver like a mountain." ”

So everyone cheered, and then a few able-bodied ones were sent to carry them underneath.

When the first ingot of silver was brought out, Lu Shi saw a large gray ingot, weighed it and weighed it to fifty taels, and the bottom of the silver ingot also cast this line of words: "Zhang Fu Yongbei, full color fifty taels." ”

Lu Shi took a look, casually threw it on the pile of silver that continued to be carried, and said with a smile: "This is a silver ingot, it turns out that the ancients in movies and television have a hundred taels of silver in their sleeves, and the feelings are fake." Then he turned back to the third housekeeper and said, "Trouble housekeeper, how about taking me to see the Zhang family's granary?"

The three housekeepers also said carefully with everyone's salutation: "Sir, please come with me, the granary is in the backyard." ”

"There is labor. Please. Then he went with the third butler.

Zhao Dahai and others were quite surprised by Lu Shi's performance, people said that gold and silver were moving, but they didn't want Lu Shi's words to be just curious and not greedy, and at the moment they admired Lu Shi even more in their hearts. Such people are down-to-earth in their dealings with them.

Lu Shi is now in this mountain of grain piles, there is a feeling of wanting to cry, this is what he wants the most, in this era of famine, this is how many people are crazy and desperate for it, this is the most precious, this is the basis for real survival and development,

The warehouses in front are new grains or wheat, and the warehouses in the back are all sunken millet and wheat, and some have begun to grow mildew.

"How much does this have?" Lu Shi subconsciously asked, Lu Shi is not used to modern measurement and conversion now, so he can only ask the third housekeeper who follows him.

The third housekeeper said proudly: "The storage of this piece is no less than 100,000 stones." ”

"100,000 stones?" Lu Shi pointed to the granaries in surprise and was speechless.

"More than that. The third steward has been shocked by Lu Shi's performance, this gentleman is ignorant of the big set of silver, but he is very interested in this grain, which shows one thing, that is, this gentleman is really for the sake of those people who follow, people have a conscience, and the third steward is not cold-blooded, and he began to rejoice for those people in his heart.

"Sir, there are 33 horses, 110 donkeys, 70 cows, and hundreds of sheep, not counting chickens and ducks. There are even more of all kinds of farm tools in large and small. ”

Horses, that is what Lu Shi thinks about most now, cattle are the ultimate goal of the people, donkeys are the most important transportation and farming tools in northern Shaanxi, sheep are indispensable living materials for the people, not to mention farm tools, and all kinds of linen and cotton cloth are piled up in several large houses, and there is no way to count.

Lu Shi let out a sigh of relief, and it seemed that he really had a lot of income.

Class 4 - Happy for you0:00:50

This is a draft, and there are many revisions that need to be made, so please give a review

Class 4 - Happy for you0:01:30

In this one, I want to get sunny

Class 4 - Happy for You0:01:43

But it had to remain gloomy

4 squad - 101st battle 0:05:54

Some questions, what do you feel awkward?

4 squad - 101st battle 0:06:10

Just read it carefully

Class 4 - Happy for You0:06:30

I'm a draft, but I'm already confused

Class 4 - Happy for You0:06:40

Would you like to give some advice?

4 squad - 101st battle 0:06:41

Your characters are not alive

4 squad - 101st battle 0: 06: 50

The supporting roles are more prominent than the protagonists

Class 4 - Happy for You0:06:50

yes

4 squad - 101st battle 0:07:02

The supporting characters are alive, but the main characters are not

4 squad - 101st battle 0: 07: 45

The main problem is that every time the protagonist is psychologically active, it is the author's perspective that inserts a lot of analysis, diluting the protagonist's role

Class 4 - Happy for You0:08:02

Ah――――――――――――――h

4 squad - 101st battle 0:08:17

It's like the audience is watching a play, and there is always a voice explaining narration on the side

Class 4 - Happy for You0:08:46

Is your consciousness yes, or is it depicting the protagonist in the first person?

4 squad - 101st battle 0:08:51

It's like, the male protagonist is a woman, and someone next to him asks him: Are you happy?

Class 4 - Happy for You0:09:10

The first person depicts the mind of the protagonist

4 squad - 101st battle 0:09:11

As much as possible

The main character's point of view

4 squad - 101st battle 0:09:19

Right

4 squad - 101st battle 0:09:29

For example, the protagonist frowned, secretly wondering...

4 squad - 101st battle 0: 09: 40

The protagonist is furious, thinking with hatred in his heart...

Class 4 - Happy for You0:10:02

That's right

4 squad - 101st battle 0:10:14

A sentence or two of explanations, it doesn't matter, you can have the author's perspective

Class 4 - Happy for You0:10:33

I've been watching from the sidelines, isn't that the problem?

4 squad - 101st battle 0:10:35

For large paragraphs, it is important not to be the author's perspective, which is very ruined by the sense of substitution

4 squad - 101st battle 0:10:52

You always think that readers don't know a lot of information, and you always jump out to help explain

4 squad - 101st battle 0:11:15

In fact, some information can be mentioned simply, which is called

Leave it blank

4 squad - 101st battle 0:11:25

The rest is up to the reader

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:11:42

I'll be sure to copy your instructions and remind me at all times

Class 4 - Happy for You0:11:51

Taught

4 squad - 101st battle 0:11:59

Also, some of the protagonist's reactions are not in line with the state of the time

4 squad - 101st battle 0:12:10

It's nothing, I've just figured it out

4 squad - 101st battle (630268437) 0:12:44

Like what:

Lu Shi took a look, casually threw it on the pile of silver that continued to be carried, and said with a smile: "This is a silver ingot, it turns out that the ancients in movies and television have a hundred taels of silver in their sleeves, and the feelings are fake." Then he turned back to the third housekeeper and said, "Trouble housekeeper, how about taking me to see the Zhang family's granary?"

4 squad - 101st battle 0:13:01

Do you think the protagonist in front of you just cried, can you laugh here?

4 squad - 101st battle 0:13:46

"Rebellion—" Zhang Laoshi howled, and then died suddenly.

Lu Shi burst into tears, watching Xiaoya and Xiaosan crying miserably on their father's body, Lu Shi was already in tears. In this world, the court has forced an honest man like Zhang Laoshi to shout rebellion, so is there any meaning to ZTE?

Class 4 - 101st battle 0:14:02

Is it okay for the protagonist here to just cry and cry?

4 squad - 101st battle 0:14:37

If you want to make the characters more vivid and enthusiastic, you should rush with blood, turn around and kick down the two officials, and vent fiercely

Class 4 - Happy for You0:14:53

I just felt so dull that I wanted to change it

Class 4 - 101st battle 0:15:07

The problem is the biggest here

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:15:19

It seems to be wrong, after all, as you said, it is too abrupt

4 squad - 101st battle 0:15:29

Guo Tianxing and Zhao Dahai were shocked by Zhang Laoshi's deathbed shout, and they were shocked on the spot.

To tell the truth, Guo Tianxing defeated Zhangjiabao, just to let the homeless poles gathered around him have money and food for the winter, and at the same time, he also realized Zhao Dahai's kindness, and he didn't think about planting a flag to rebel in his bones, which was also the status quo of the pole at the beginning of the Ming Dynasty at that time, although they took up arms, they didn't realize that they had already started

4 squad - 101st battle 0: 15: 50

You are all foreshadowing, writing honest kindness and loyalty

4 squad - 101st battle 0:16:02

He didn't die, and the protagonists were all crying and grieving

4 squad - 101st battle 0:16:26

It's really dead, and the protagonist should be furious and kick the two officials to death

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:16:38

Right

4 squad - 101st battle 0:16:43

Then I was stopped by someone and calmed down before analyzing the stakes

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:16:50

Change it right away

4 squad - 101st battle 0:17:17

What about your treatment? When you didn't die, the protagonist cried a lot, but he was really dead, and he just cried, and the author jumped out and chattered about the analysis,

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:17:52

Yes, it's me who is anxious to change the dullness

4 squad - 101st battle 0:17:53

It's equivalent to doing the job.,Climax right away.,I'm about to.,A person next to him grabbed it.,And then analyze:The donor can't shoot.,How about you shoot.。

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:17:59

This is my impetuousness

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:18:35

Teacher level

4 squad - 101st battle 0: 18: 40

The foreshadowing in front of you is very good, and the ending makes the protagonist explode and highlight the protagonist's bloody loyalty

Class 4 - 101st battle 0:19:05

The most ruining thing is that when he turns around and divides the silver, he still laughs

4 squad - 101st battle 0: 19: 10

It seems that the characters are fake

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:19:48

I'll copy your advice in my document, so I don't have to be impatient anymore

4 squad - 101st battle 0:20:14

4 squad - 101st battle 0:20:27

You have more experience in writing books than I do, and you are a fan of the authorities

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:20:32

Thank you. I will definitely find a way to invite you to drink

4 squad - 101st battle 0:20:45

In fact, it's easy to make mistakes when writing by yourself

Class 4 - Happy for You0:20:51

Your comment opened my mind

4 squad - 101st battle 0:20:59

If you have a bunch of thoughts in your head, you will be confused when you explain it

Class 4 - Happy for You0:21:07

yes

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:21:36

Sometimes I am often urged by book friends, and I always want to speed up the progress

4 squad - 101st battle 0:21:42

I've been working on narrative techniques lately, so we can talk more when we have time

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:21:54

Definitely, definitely

Class 4 - 101st battle 0:22:06

You remember one thing, the presence of the protagonist must be manifested through execution

4 squad - 101st battle 0:22:24

The front is a supporting role

The information outputs, and the protagonist is forced to accept

Class 4 - Happy for You0:22:29

Listening to your words is better than reading N years

Class 4 - Happy for You 0:22:31

It's true

4 squad - 101st battle 0: 22: 40

Then he changed his performance, and the author jumped out to speak again

4 squad - 101st battle 0: 22: 53

It is equivalent to completely stealing the protagonist's role

Pain and joy 1:15:46

The cry came from outside Zhangjiashui Prison, and when Lu Shi arrived, he was stunned and angry by the tragic situation at that time.

Nearly 100 villagers, all with withered faces, and even more bloodstains on their bodies, such a body The lower half of the body was blackened by the sewage bubbles of the dungeon, emitting a burst of foul smell, Zhang Laoshi was carried by several villagers with a door panel, and there was no good meat up and down the whole body, and the black water soaked in black water between the scars and scars, the whole person was in a blur, and he was not alive at all.

Honestly ignoring the stench, he stepped forward and took Zhang Honest's hand, feeling the coldness and lifelessness of that hand.

Lu Shi's nose was sour, and tears fell involuntarily.

This is the first honest person in the world who is really good to himself, takes care of himself, and shelters himself, and has to even half a bowl of porridge and water to himself, a good person who honestly has no quarrel with anyone.

I wanted to repay his custody and care wholeheartedly, and use my little knowledge to change his situation, so that their family could survive this boundless troubled world, but it was precisely his own arrival that not only failed to improve them, but pushed them into the abyss of family ruin and death earlier, and the guilt in my heart was incomprehensible.

may have felt the warmth in Lu Shi's hands, Zhang Laoshi, who was dying, slowly opened his eyes, and when he saw that it was Lu Shi, he smiled hard, weak and almost silent, and gasped for a long time before comforting Lu Shi softly: "Master can't be like this, they are all hard-working people, this is all fate, and I can't complain about others." ”

Seeing that Lu Shi was still leaning over and weeping, he actually squeezed out a difficult smile and comforted: "But my Zhang family is grateful to the master, and I didn't let a few children of the Zhang family starve to death at that time, this is the blessing of my Zhang family." ”

Lu Shi's tears burst out of his eyes, and he choked up and couldn't say any more.

After gasping for a long time, Zhang Laoshi's eyes flashed unbearably, and he said in a low voice: "Master, I know that you have done these things for me, the court is really not worth it, thanks to your blessing, I saw Huang Chengcheng's millet and wheat this year, which I have never seen in these years, if those are even a little bit of mine, how good it would be, I haven't eaten snow-white steamed buns for a long time, and drank the thick millet porridge." The voice murmured that he was immersed in the imaginary aroma of snow-white steamed buns and millet porridge.

Lu Shi's tears couldn't be stopped, he just held Zhang Shishi's hand and cried as he held it.

"Master, I ask you, what about my two sons?"

Lu Shi turned around and asked the official kneeling on the left side of the road in a loud voice: "Say, where are my two brothers?

The officials trembled and knelt on the left side of the road with a colorless face, not daring to look at the angry Lu Shi, but kept buttoning Zhao Dahai's head, "Lord Zhao, we are all sent by the upper branches, and we are all colleagues." ”

This is just a relationship, and I hope that Zhao Dahai will give personal protection for the sake of the same official trip to the imperial court.

Zhao Dahai kicked down the official and said loudly, "My brother asked you." ”

"Yes, yes, the Zhang family brother is in the county jail, just waiting for the Zhang family to raise money and grain for the windmill drawings in the county and then release him. ”

"Really let people go?" asked angrily, although he knew that this was delusional, but there was already hope in his eyes, the drawings were ready-made, and the money and food were now available.

"To be honest, what are you going to do with the Zhang family brothers?" Zhao Dahai was not as innocent as Lu Shi, and asked fiercely.

The official peeked at it, knew that Zhao Dahai was an official, and knew that he was tired of it, so he couldn't hide it at the moment, so he had to tell the truth: "Even if you wait to gather grain and grass, the Zhang brothers are going to sell Mongolia as slaves." ”

Although the voice was low, it struck everyone's heart like a yellow bell.

Lu Shi was stunned for a while, suddenly shouted, stepped forward and kicked over the official, and even looked for the sword left and right, and cut this thing at that time.

The crowd is even more emotional, no wonder most of the servants in previous years have no news as soon as the master is gone, no wonder the young men who were forced to pay money and food in previous years are no longer alive or dead, but they were originally sold to Mongolia as slaves by the government.

Lu Shi, who was furious, felt which hand suddenly grabbed him, and looked at it with red eyes, but it was the dying Zhang Laoshi. Lu Shi suppressed his anger, lowered his head and listened to Zhang Laoshi's words, Zhang Laoshi looked at Lu Shi with difficulty, suddenly got up, and shouted loudly with all his strength

"Rebellion—"

Zhang Laoshi's long howl was an earth-shattering shock, and it also exhausted the best strength of this honest man, and his body fell heavily and passed away suddenly.

Lu Shi's brain was blank for a while, allowing tears to cover his cheeks, crying, but he didn't think for no reason that this world and this court forced an honest man like Zhang Laoshi to shout out rebellion, so is there any point in ZTE? Can he still avoid illusions? No, looking at the little girl and the junior who pounced on Zhang Laoshi, the anger in his heart was even more blazing.

Huo Ran got up, picked up a big knife beside him, without any words or rage, just a faint expression, and slowly walked towards the trembling official step by step. But anyone can see the ruthlessness and determination in Lu Shi's expression.

Guo Tianxing and Zhao Dahai were shocked by Zhang Laoshi's deathbed shout, and they were shocked on the spot.

To tell the truth, Guo Tianxing defeated Zhangjiabao, just to let the homeless poles gathered around him have money and food for the winter, and at the same time, he also realized Zhao Dahai's kindness, and he had not thought of planting a flag to rebel in his bones, which was also the status quo of the pole in the early Ming Dynasty at that time, although they took up arms, they did not realize that they had begun the grand cause of overthrowing the Zhu Ming Dynasty. They still think that they are the subjects of the imperial court, and their hatred is only concentrated on the officials and gentry who directly oppress and bully them, they are just forced by hunger and cold, and use force to thwart the government's urging, and take the capital of life from the granary of the rich and big, but Zhang Laoshi's cry with the last strength of his life is like a thunderstorm, shaking the hearts of everyone present.

This shock made everyone think about a question they had never thought about before - whether they were already rebelling now.

Zhao Dahai was the first to see Lu Shi, who was full of murderous energy, and suddenly thought of a layer, this is to kill the officials to avenge that honesty, but this knife is an ungood ending, and he flew up at the moment, and a bear hugged Lu Shi.

The officer also saw the murderous aura in Lu Shi's flat expression, and his own life was on the front line, and he suddenly fell at the feet of Zhao Dahai and shouted miserably: "Lord Zhao, help——"

The crying in the courtyard stopped for a while, and hundreds of people in the entire courtyard became silent, whether it was the villagers of Zhangjiazhuang or the pole of the star, they all looked at Lu Shi with those eyes, Lu Shi took a deep breath, looked at the eyes of doubt, excitement, or fear, and roared loudly: "Brother Zhao, get out of the way, I will cut this dog official now, pay tribute to Brother Zhang's brother, and sacrifice the flag for me." ”

Zhao Dahai hurriedly slapped Lu Shi, who had already gone berserk, and said loudly: "Brother, let's make a decision, we have rescued people now, there are many things to do, and it is not a time to kill this dog thing, but now it is right to settle these wounded? ”

Lu Shi was taken aback, looked left and right, and suddenly understood Zhao Dahai's good intentions, his heart was still angry for a while, now the situation is complicated, no matter how you decide, it is not appropriate to decide now, this matter is indeed not suitable to be decided now, nodded at the moment and said: "And remember that your dog's head is on your shoulders first, and wait for the matter here to make a decision." After saying that, he threw the big knife in his hand to the ground, turned around and picked up the little girl and comforted him softly: "Good daughter, don't cry, how about the master and you are delicious?" Speaking of this, the tears can't stop staying.

After all, the child is simple-minded, as soon as he heard that the master had delicious food, he stopped his sorrow, Zhao Dahai took over his goddaughter, and whispered to Lu Shi: "Brother, don't be angry for a while, this yard of personnel and follow-up will have you to dispatch and operate, how can you mess up first?"

Lu Shi nodded to Zhao Dahai gratefully, and then said to the people in the courtyard: "Folks, rest assured, now settle the injured for treatment first, and then divide the manpower to count the Zhang family's assets and prepare to resist the upcoming rescue of other powerful people." ”

As soon as Lu Shi said this, Lu Shi obviously heard that there were people in the crowd who breathed a sigh of relief, some sighed in disappointment, and some were insensitive. This is the human heart now.

Pain and joy 1:15:59

What do you think of this change?

Pain and joy 1:16:05

Bothered

14- 101st rejection 1:27:32

To tell the truth, Guo Tianxing defeated Zhangjiabao, just to let the homeless poles gathered around him have money and food for the winter, and at the same time, he also realized Zhao Dahai's kindness, and he had not thought of planting a flag to rebel in his bones, which was also the status quo of the pole in the early Ming Dynasty at that time, although they took up arms, they did not realize that they had begun the grand cause of overthrowing the Zhu Ming Dynasty. They still think that they are the subjects of the imperial court, and their hatred is only concentrated on the officials and gentry who directly oppress and bully them, they are just forced by hunger and cold, and use force to thwart the government's urging, and take the capital of life from the granary of the rich and big, but Zhang Laoshi's cry with the last strength of his life is like a thunderstorm, shaking the hearts of everyone present.

14-101st rejection 1:27:40

Take this section away

14- 101st rejection 1:27:54

The protagonist is going to kill someone with a knife, and the author goes aside, don't interject

14- 101st rejection 1:28:02

The feeling was immediately discharged

Pain and joy 1:28:32

It seems to be

14-101st rejection 1:29:04

Lu Shi was taken aback, looked left and right, and suddenly understood Zhao Dahai's good intentions, his heart was still angry for a while, now the situation is complicated, no matter how you decide, it is not appropriate to decide now, this matter is indeed not suitable to be decided now, nodded at the moment and said: "And remember that your dog's head is on your shoulders first, and wait for the matter here to make a decision." After saying that, he threw the big knife in his hand to the ground, turned around and picked up the little girl and comforted him softly: "Good daughter, don't cry, how about the master and you are delicious?" Speaking of this, the tears can't stop staying.

14- 101st rejection 1:29:22

There is a problem with this paragraph, and the protagonist is not a mouthful

14-101st rejection 1:29:54

should have cut off the ears of corrupt officials with a knife, or chopped them in the dirt with a knife, rubbing the skin of corrupt officials and shaking them...

14 - 101st rejection 1:30:05

The corrupt official was so frightened that he peed his pants...

Pain and joy 1:30:12

Good

Pain and joy 1:30:17

joyfully

Pain and joy 1:30:34

That's why I'm still tender

14-101st rejection 1:30:37

Refreshing and domineering, it should be hearty

Pain and joy 1:30:54

That's what I've been depressed about lately

14 - 101st rejection 1:30:59

You feel that the protagonist is more cowardly, moving his mouth lightly, and then wiping his tears

14- 101st rejection 1:31:04

What kind of man is this?

Pain and joy 1:31:26

I couldn't write the original cool essay, I thought I had degraded myself

14- 101st rejection 1:31:43

It's still a problem that I didn't substitute for myself

14- 101st rejection 1:31:58

If my friend dies, I'm going to pounce on it

Pain and joy 1:32:25

I've always wanted to write my main character as someone who has nothing to do with things

Pain and joy 1:32:49

Then the next step in the tide of history was pushed to the forefront

14- 101st rejection 1:32:51

You can have nothing to do with the world

Pain and joy 1:33:34

That's why I made this book helpless at the end of the Ming Dynasty

14-101st rejection 1:34:04

But the protagonist's actions are linked to the initial behavior

14-101st rejection 1:34:34

Since your protagonist starts crying and is very uncomfortable, this creates an accumulation of energy in the reader's psyche, and the reader craves catharsis

14- 101st rejection 1:34:53

Either you don't cry at the beginning and don't put psychological pressure on the reader

14-101st rejection 1:35:08

You cry, and the supporting characters are so bitter, you have to vent it

14 - 101st rejection 1:35:54

If it was Han Li, he would definitely plan and then act, he wouldn't cry first

Pain and joy 1:35:59

Later, it was also a member of our class who gave it a name called "The New King", I thought the name was good, so I began to struggle, because after all, it was to be echoed with the title of the book, so the passive was revolted and now the idea of uprising

Pain and Joy 1:36:14

That's what I'm writing a bit nondescript now

14- 101st rejection 1:36:20

Your protagonist cries first, he is a very affectionate character, so he will have to be enthusiastic when he acts below

14-101st rejection 1:37:04

The character must do things in line with the character, otherwise the reader will be swoon

Pain and Joy 1:37:16

yes

Pain and joy 1:37:23

Looks like I'm still going to change it

14-101st rejection 1:37:33

You can also cry first, and then don't dare to do it, that's a more cowardly character, and readers don't like it

Pain and joy 1:38:29

My protagonist is a slap in the face of a mediocre person who achieves great things with the joint efforts of a group of brothers. It's not the kind of majestic and domineering

Pain and joy 1:39:12

My protagonist is set to be an ordinary person who achieves great things with the joint efforts of a group of brothers. It's not the kind of majestic and domineering

14-101st rejection 1:39:34

That's not very outstanding, readers have to substitute for the protagonist when reading the book

14-101st rejection 1:39:46

Everyone wants to be as good as possible

Pain and Joy 1:39:52

I'll think again

14-101st rejection 1:40:16

If you rely on your brother to do things, that's Liu Bang's character, a **, slippery guy

14- 101st rejection 1:40:26

Rogue character

Pain and Joy 1:40:31

Sorry for delaying your rest

Pain and joy 1:40:37

It's Liu Bei

14-101st rejection 1:40:56

When someone hit him on the left cheek, he happily gave him the right cheek, and then stabbed him in the back

14- 101st rejection 1:41:27

Liu Bei, I didn't study it, I know Liu Bang, or Wei Xiaobao

14- 101st rejection 1:41:49

The greatest ability of this kind of person is to be a person and take advantage of people

14- 101st rejection 1:42:31

He will observe words and feelings, and will take advantage of other people's contradictory relationships to achieve his own goals, and others will be grateful to him

14- 101st rejection 1:42:51

This kind of is particularly difficult to write, and the old fritters in the officialdom can grasp it well

Pain and joy 1:43:49

Hahaha

Pain and joy 1:43:57

I would like to write

Pain and Joy 1:44:12

But I still want to write about Liu Bei in my heart

Pain and joy 1:44:20

That's my character

14-101st rejection 1:44:25

Let's think about the characters first, I didn't pay attention to my recent new book, and the more the characters were written, the more wrong they became

14 - 101st rejection 1:44:45

That kind of awkwardness is a very cool plot, but it's not brilliant

Pain and Joy 1:44:47

In the last book, many book lovers raised this question

Pain and joy 1:45:00

yes

14-101st rejection 1:45:24

The plot has no problems at all, that is, the characters look like either a piece of wood or an S ......

14-101st rejection 1:45:38

That's awkward!

Pain and Joy 1:51:23

The Lu Shi in your article is too kind, too old and a good person! There is a saying in China -- good intentions do bad things! Even if your starting point is good, in the end, whether it is good or bad for everyone is still based on facts! Of course, I am still full of joy for the protagonist like this! However, the protagonist does not seem to have any city government, which will also determine how far he can go, and not everyone is as bright and upright as the Black Tiger Star, Gai Zhaotian, and Wu XX that the protagonist encounters!

This is a comment from one of my book friends

Pain and Joy 1:52:34

Lu Shi is himself, so there are too many kind and honest ingredients, so there will be failure, will be deceiving, will be betrayed, will continue to work hard, my creed is actually the golden mean. I want to try to see if this solution can save the country.

Here's my reply

14-101st rejection 1:56:06

Well, come on, let's talk when you have time, readers give this kind of advice in the hope that the characters can be more likable