101 On Writing (Seventy-Nine) "On Character Again
101 wrote a post before, which is to explore how to explain the relevant story background and setting at the beginning, and also push the story forward, and the characters are still alive. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info
Here it is:
http://www./forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=764441&fromuid=556121
It's a pity that almost no one understands it, but there are many rookie authors who take the manuscript to 101 to see, and they still make the same mistake, and when they ask him, they also say that they have read this post, but they don't understand it.
That can't be helped, 101 has no choice but to take this author's friend's manuscript and talk to everyone again.
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The cold winter wind, mixed with the snow flakes that froze into ice, hit the bare face of the person, as if it was being cut by a sharp blade......
Everyone was willing to huddle in a warm room, guarding the hot little charcoal basin, and it would be better if there were two taels of soju.
However, in this cold and windy weather, there were dozens of children standing upright, like javelins, with resolute faces, not afraid of the frozen marrow wind and snow, the oldest was ten, five or six years old, and the youngest looked no more than eight or nine years old. Although they were richly dressed, they were very thin, and they were blown by the cold wind, clinging to their bodies, and even the outlines of their limbs could be seen!
The Great Yuan Dynasty is located in the extreme north of the Zhenyuan Continent, and the low temperature is extremely low. As soon as the winter begins, the weather is cold, the eyes are desolate, and the wind does not stop. A cup of boiling water was poured out, and it instantly condensed into a gorgeous ice mist, creating a fierce and martial style of the people here!
North Snow City, the mansion of the Zhao family, has a prominent status and a thriving population, covering an area of 1,000 acres.
Zhao Donglie, the prince of Zhenguo, as the head of the Zhao family and the important minister of the Son of Heaven, is naturally a group of wives and concubines, and has countless heirs. However, there is a tradition that has never been interrupted in the Zhao family, and that is the respect of strength.
The third generation of the Zhao family, the grandchildren of Zhao Donglie, although they are powerful members of the Wang family, not everyone is qualified to enjoy the innate wealth and authority.
If there is no strength, all wealth, power, and glory are all mirages and mirages, and they are out of reach!
"Zhao Cong, refining the body with four layers, two hundred taels of silver!"
A hearty shout spread out from the account room, clearly reaching the ears of this group of teenagers, and a young man with a little dark skin had a happy face and ran into the account room quickly.
The Zhao Mansion is vast and immense, the Zhao family's account room is located in the largest East Mansion, and it is naturally also towering, with a total of three floors, all of which are made of granite stone built with a height of one person, which shows the vastness of the project, the defense is impregnable, and the ordinary martial arts masters, punching with all their might, may not even shake a few wisps of dust on the outer wall!
"Zhao Sheng, refining the body with three layers, and tattooing one hundred taels of silver!"
"Zhao Hu, refining the body with four layers, two hundred taels of silver!"
……
One after another, the young men, either happy or depressed, came out of the account room anyway, and they all had a lot of silver taels in their hands.
Refining is very hard and requires food supplements. The children of the Zhao family can only receive silver coins based on their strength, and the silver money can buy a large number of precious herbs to regulate their bodies, refine their bodies, and make progress, so they can get more silver coins, and they are naturally happy.
"Zhao Chen, the second layer of refining the body, five taels of silver!"
"Zhao Chen, the second layer of refining the body, five taels of silver!"
"Zhao Chen!"
"Zhao Chen......"
With a louder shout, everyone's heads involuntarily turned to the back, and countless eyes automatically condensed into one, focusing on a young man wearing old cotton clothes, his hair was scattered, and his head was bowed.
The young man's bloated and shabby dress, among the handsome and elegant Zhao children, there were already some pearls mixed with stones, and the colorful cuckoo mixed with the abrupt feeling of crows, at this time he was expressionless, his face was dazed, he was actually distracted, and his right hand seemed to be trembling like a cramp, just a fool.
"Brother Zhao Chen, it's time for you to receive the money!"
Next to Zhao Chen stood a ten, five- or six-year-old girl in a yellow shirt, with bright teeth and bright eyes, black hair tied into a neat ponytail, gently touched his right arm that was still twitching with his arm, and whispered!
"Ah...... Oh, Ling'er, what's wrong?"
Zhao Chen paused for a moment before he suddenly came to his senses, looked up at Zhao Ling'er beside him, and looked at everyone in surprise, his eyes were still blank, he didn't know that someone had called him four or five times in a row just now, and his reaction was half a beat slower.
"Tell you to get the money!"
Zhao Ling'er hurriedly whispered again.
"Oh!"
Zhao Chen answered, shook his head, and walked towards the inside of the account room, but he didn't feel the slightest frustration because he could only receive five taels of silver.
"This Zhao Chen is really pitiful, he has been stupid for ten years, he is over sixteen years old this year, and he can go to the countryside to get some fields to live, the Zhao family is really not suitable for this kind of person to live. ”
"Yes, who would have known that a great genius, due to the disappearance of his parents, could be hit like this, he was so powerful back then, it's a pity that he was stupid!"
"Reaching the second level of refining at the age of six is shocking to the world in the Great Yuan Dynasty. Ten years have passed, and it is still the second layer of body refining, and the slow progress is also shocking......
"My parents are missing, and I live alone in such an eerie hall as Xifu, if it were me, I would be crazy. ”
"Whatever, no one can stop him from running to Xifu, and he is stupid. ”
“……”
Watching Zhao Chen walk into the account room, all the teenagers couldn't help but whisper.
"Quiet, impetuous, how can you become a big thing!"
Suddenly, there was a loud shout, like thunder on a sunny day, and it exploded in the ears of the teenagers, causing their ears to buzz and their heads to hurt.
An old man, I don't know when, appeared behind the teenagers, his temples were white, his eyes were like swords, his white eyebrows were straight, he was wearing a cyan robe, and he was standing in front of him. Some timid children, even their legs and stomachs are trembling, and the hard steps of the horse on weekdays have no effect at this time.
"Li Fengli, why is this old man here?"
Zhao Chen received the pitiful five taels of silver, and as soon as he went out, he saw the old man from a distance, and hurriedly stood behind the crowd. Although Li Fengli would not take care of him as a waste, he did not dare to be frivolous in front of a master like Li Fengli.
Legend has it that when he was young, he followed Zhao Donglie to the south and the north, and the most brilliant battle, a silver spear and a set of "wolf muskets" were like a flaming wolf, falling from the sky. Among the thousands of iron horses, like wolves entering the flock, the momentum is monstrous, biting back and forth, and the power of one person kills thousands of enemy soldiers. From head to toe, it was red, like a bloody demon god, but it was all stained with enemy blood. At that time, the soldiers who participated in the war were all frightened when they talked about "snow wolf robbery".
It is the eighth layer of refining the body, a super master of the realm of Gangqi possession.
Gang possessed, copper skin and iron bones, invulnerable.
"You have been given the surname Zhao since birth, it is an honor and a responsibility!"
Li Fenglie's eyes were like torches, and they seemed to have a trace of fireworks, and with a slight sweep, every Zhao family disciple's chest tightened, and he actually had a feeling of being out of breath.
"I'll just say one thing today, three months later, it will be the day when the Heavenly Dao Army recruits soldiers once in ten years. This time, the Zhao family was fortunate enough to get a chance to go to the imperial capital to compete. If you can get the top three in the competition in front of the Imperial Palace, you can go to the Heavenly Dao Army to participate in the entry test, and even the children of the royal family need to participate in the competition fairly. ”
"Heavenly Dao Army, I am familiar with history books, the imperial dynasty does not have this army, is it a powerful army of other countries?" one of the children who looked like a weak scholar couldn't help but ask.
"Imperial Army? That is no longer an army that any dynasty or empire can have! The Heavenly Dao Army is above all imperial empires, once a ten-person squad, in just one day, the Dajin Dynasty that has spanned thousands of years on the Zhenyuan Continent was destroyed in an instant, and none of the children of the imperial family were spared, and its strength was simply beyond the limits of people's imagination! The Heavenly Dao Army was no longer maintaining an imperial dynasty or an empire. But...... The whole sky is blue...... Hello Heavenly Dao!"
After Li Fengbi dropped this bombshell, he said amazingly:
"You are still young, you may only know the ninth layer of body refining, but you don't know the mysterious vitality in this heaven and earth. The Yuan Qi is completely different from the True Qi we are cultivating now, the True Qi is by our side anytime and anywhere, as long as we practice diligently and hard, we can refine a certain amount of results if we are not as stupid as a pig. ”
Li Fengbi glanced at the children and continued:
"But the Yuan Qi is different, basically everyone wants to get in touch with the mysterious Yuan Qi, the prerequisite is to refine the ninth layer of the body, and then with the great chance, the comprehension of genius, and then comprehend it in one fell swoop. Even so, among the 100,000 top masters of the ninth layer of body refining, perhaps none of them would be able to comprehend the vitality!"
An unconcealable envy appeared in Li Feng's tone, and he continued:
"And this is not absolute, there is a kind of person, they have a Yuan Spirit Body that makes hundreds of millions of people jealous, they will comprehend the Yuan Qi at a very young age, although because the physical body is not at the ninth level of the refining body, the body is not strong enough, can not withstand the strong backlash of the Yuan Qi, and cannot use the Yuan Qi to fight the enemy, but they can manipulate and communicate the legendary Spirit Qi, the Flying Sword!"
Li Fengbi looked at the immature faces one by one, and continued to gush:
"Thousands of miles away in the air, Edgeworth kills! Among the powerhouses of the same level, they are in an invincible position, and when they reach the ninth layer of the refining body, the wind and clouds suddenly change, and they become familiar with the endless vitality in one fell swoop, and become a superhuman-like character, flying in the air, killing people in the air, controlling thunder and lightning, and a fairy-like existence!"
"People don't have wings, can they really fly in the air like the gods in the storyteller's mouth?" a Zhao family disciple couldn't help but ask.
"People ......! can fly!" Li Fenglie took a deep breath, closed his eyes, as if remembering something from the past, and after a long while, he said slowly:
"Back then, the emperor of the dynasty, with the help of the masters, used the ninth layer of refining the body, the posture of a top martial artist, to communicate the vitality of heaven and earth in one fell swoop, and the void was grasped, and the heaven and earth changed color. With his own strength, he slashed the nine ninth-level generals of the enemy country in a row, shaking the heavens and the earth, and deciding the world in one fell swoop!"
Listening to Li Feng's blood-boiling lecture, all the teenagers were eager to try, and their eyes were full of hope and faith, but there was only one exception, he was actually sweating profusely, and his pupils were dilated, as if he had thought of something fearful.
This man is a fool...... Zhao Chen!
His heart was already churning like a stormy wave, and the three words of the Heavenly Dao Army hit his heart like a 10,000-pound hammer, making his breathing a little sluggish, as for the other vitality, what kind of killing in the air, Zhao Chen didn't listen to it at all.
"Heavenly Dao Army...... Heavenly Dao Army!"
The three words of Heavenly Dao Army entered Zhao Chen's ears for the second time. When he heard it for the first time, Zhao Chen was only six years old, and these three words were accompanied by the disappearance of his parents, and the nightmare that tortured him for ten years, and cursed himself for ten years.
"This so-called Heavenly Dao Army must have something to do with the disappearance of my father and mother!"
Zhao Chen immediately cheered up and listened carefully word by word, but Li Fengli only mentioned the strength of the Heavenly Dao Army, and did not mention a word, which made him extremely anxious.
The children of the Zhao family couldn't help but start to make a buzzing sound, and they turned their heads to each other, and everyone's faces were shocked, after all, Li Feng's talk today was too shocking for them.
"At the end of this year, the family competition is one month earlier, under the age of sixteen, the first place can go to the imperial capital to compete, and there is only one place. I hope you will step up your efforts and not lose the face of my Zhao clan!" Suddenly there was a loud bang, and the children were quiet again.
"Family Dabi, there are still two months, I will temporarily live in the martial arts training ground, if you have any questions, just ask, I will answer them one by one!" Li Fenglie finished speaking, flicked his sleeves, strode away, and said to a figure in the corner before leaving: "Zhao Xu, among all the children of the Zhao family, you have the strongest martial arts! Starting tomorrow, you will be by my side every day, I will give you strict guidance, and strive for you to complete the sixth layer of body refining, refine your muscles and bones! Reach the seventh layer of body refining, and win glory for my Zhao family!"
"Got it, master!" In the middle of speaking, in the corner away from the crowd, a handsome figure mysteriously appeared, with eyebrows and eyes like swords, a smooth body, and meticulous sideburns combed back of his head, and his spirit was incomparable.
As soon as this person named Zhao Xu came out, he was still whispering just now, he wanted to swear to be the first in the Zhao family, and the children who went to the imperial capital to participate in the competition instantly closed their mouths.
------------
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:04:44
Is there a lot of nonsense?
101st rejection 12:07:24
The cold winter wind, mixed with the snow flakes that froze into ice, hit the bare face of the person, as if it was being cut by a sharp blade......
Everyone was willing to huddle in a warm room, guarding the hot little charcoal basin, and it would be better if there were two taels of soju.
However, in this cold and windy weather, there were dozens of children standing upright, like javelins, with resolute faces, not afraid of the frozen marrow wind and snow, the oldest was ten, five or six years old, and the youngest looked no more than eight or nine years old. Although they were richly dressed, they were very thin, and they were blown by the cold wind, clinging to their bodies, and even the outlines of their limbs could be seen!
"Zhao Cong, refining the body with four layers, two hundred taels of silver!"
A hearty shout spread out from the account room, clearly reaching the ears of this group of teenagers, and a young man with a little dark skin had a happy face and ran into the account room quickly.
"Zhao Sheng, refining the body with three layers, and tattooing one hundred taels of silver!"
"Zhao Hu, refining the body with four layers, two hundred taels of silver!"
……
One after another, the young men, either happy or depressed, came out of the account room anyway, and they all had a lot of silver taels in their hands.
This is the annual assessment of the children of the Zhao family's mansion in North Snow City, the ancestor of the Zhao family assisted the founding of the Dayuan Dynasty to make meritorious contributions, hereditary town of the country, and guarded the bitter cold land in the extreme north.
The Zhao family has this fame, all because of martial arts, so the martial arts style is fierce, regardless of men, women and children, all practice martial arts, and the annual assessment is regarded as a means to select young and handsome people, and everyone attaches great importance to it.
At this time, the protagonist is standing in the queue with his head held high...
101st rejection 12:08:15
Compare
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:09:04
Well, what about other places, I'm modifying it here.
101st rejection 12:10:53
I said, you changed the 2nd version, right? It's all a problem
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:11:15
Or is there a lot of nonsense?
101st rejection 12:11:21
In the last version, I didn't know how to arrange the plot, and I made a bunch of waste plots to slow down the pace
101st rejection 12:11:40
This version, I know that the beginning is hooked, but in terms of explaining information, there is still a lot of nonsense
The 101st rejection is 12:12:00
There are a bunch of settings in your head, and you don't know which ones are explained here and in what order
101st rejection 12:12:25
Where to explain what?
In what order?
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:13:01
Well, I guess it's a bit too much, and I feel a little messy myself, and the three chapters are compressed into one chapter.
101st rejection 12:13:00
[img]file:///c:/users/suer/documents/tencent%20files/630268437/image/image1/ve$lidui~][email protected][/img]
101st rejection 12:13:07
You look closely
101st rejection 12:13:19
You're in a small scene here, a bunch of kids
101st rejection 12:13:38
If you're watching a movie, you should be shooting from the wall of the yard
101st rejection 12:13:55
It's only a few dozen meters away from this group of children
101st rejection 12:14:25
The small scene should be written around this group of children, and the scene is finished, and then the introduction is inserted
101st rejection 12:14:47
Write about what they're doing first, and then explain a little
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:14:54
Well.
101st rejection 12:15:04
Otherwise, you'll bring the information of the big scene to the front
101st rejection 12:15:16
The Great Yuan Dynasty is located in the extreme north of the Zhenyuan Continent, and the low temperature is extremely low. As soon as the winter begins, the weather is cold, the eyes are desolate, and the wind does not stop. A cup of boiling water was poured out, and it instantly condensed into a gorgeous ice mist, creating a fierce and martial style of the people here!
North Snow City, the mansion of the Zhao family, has a prominent status and a thriving population, covering an area of 1,000 acres.
101st rejection 12:15:24
This kind of words should be at the forefront
101st rejection 12:15:44
The big scene introduces the background information, and then the camera pans to the small scene to introduce the people around the main character
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:16:03
It's really not right here, I feel abrupt.
101st rejection 12:16:11
What I changed for you is the beginning of the small scene
101st rejection 12:16:23
The general background information is compressed into 2 short paragraphs
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:16:37
Well, you've done a lot better with a lot less word count.
101st rejection 12:16:38
This is number one
101st rejection 12:16:47
Second, take a closer look at the big picture
101st rejection 12:16:57
What is urgent to explain here and what is not
101st rejection 12:17:21
Zhao Donglie, the prince of Zhenguo, as the head of the Zhao family and the important minister of the Son of Heaven, is naturally a group of wives and concubines, and has countless heirs. However, there is a tradition that has never been interrupted in the Zhao family, and that is the respect of strength.
The third generation of the Zhao family, the grandchildren of Zhao Donglie, although they are powerful members of the Wang family, not everyone is qualified to enjoy the innate wealth and authority.
If there is no strength, all wealth, power, and glory are all mirages and mirages, and they are out of reach!
101st rejection 12:17:36
These three paragraphs are completely unnecessary
101st rejection 12:17:57
Strength is respected, which is reflected in the interaction of the characters, and needs to be shown in the plot
101st rejection 12:18:07
Since the plot can be shown, why does the author introduce it?
101st rejection 12:18:35
How many heirs the Zhao family has, it can also be shown in the storyline, and strength is related to wealth, and it can also be shown
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:18:54
Isn't there an urgency here?
101st rejection 12:19:02
You have to figure out one thing
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:19:20
Well
101st rejection 12:19:34
Some settings must be displayed before the reader can understand that no matter whether they are urgent or not, they should not be introduced by the author
101st rejection 12:20:04
He is 1.8 meters tall, which needs to be introduced to inform the reader, and does not need to be shown
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:20:17
Well, got it, try to introduce as little as the author and show more plots.
101st rejection 12:20:26
He is very afraid of death, and this needs to be shown, because the reader cannot understand the extent of his fear of death
101st rejection 12:21:23
The geographical location and political status of the Zhao family need to be directly introduced, at most, it is cold to write here below, and the family status is lofty
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:21:45
Well
101st rejection 12:21:52
As a principle, the less the author complains, the better
101st rejection 12:22:03
All information is hidden in character interactions
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:22:13
Well, the author of extreme compression introduced.
101st rejection 12:22:14
The reader is looking at the story, not the expository text
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:22:49
The author's introduction is generally an objective and unchanging thing such as architecture, physical features, etc.!
101st rejection 12:22:57
In general, you have made a common mistake
101st rejection 12:23:18
The flow of the story is interrupted by a large explanatory text
101st rejection 12:23:47
The flow of the story must not be interrupted by anything
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:23:55
The explanatory text is no more than two lines, you said, I remember it, hehe!
101st rejection 12:24:05
As soon as the story is broken, the reader's attention decreases
101st rejection 12:24:29
It's like watching a story and about to get hooked, and inserting an advertisement in one after another
101st rejection 12:25:08
You change it yourself, read it from the beginning, and change everything that affects the flow of the story
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:25:29
Well, you know, I'm changing.
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:25:44
Isn't there a lot of information this time?
101st rejection 12:26:02
[img]file:///c:/users/suer/documents/tencent%20files/630268437/image/image1/%25%25cw95]79%7DaE61%7D@qs]2n.jpg[/img]
101st rejection 12:26:14
Zhao Chen lacks psychology
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:27:11
Well, here is the blank, and the protagonist is like a puppet
101st rejection 12:27:21
There are so many conversations
101st rejection 12:27:30
The following is all about the content of the dialogue
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:28:09
I guess I use dialogue to explain information, too much.
101st rejection 12:29:15
Some of them should not be explained
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:29:34
Well, I'm in a hurry, there's no need for the first chapter, right!
101st rejection 12:31:15
So let's put it, you rethink
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:31:24
I'll look into it and continue to rewrite.
101st rejection 12:31:30
The foothold is the character's willingness + obstacles
101st rejection 12:31:43
If you don't follow this script, it still collapses
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:31:56
Well
101st rejection 12:32:06
First, the information related to the wishes of the characters will be introduced first
101st rejection 12:32:20
Second, immediately pick up the obstacles encountered by the character
101st rejection 12:32:36
Here, the information of the Zhao family is the background, so let's introduce it first
The 101st rejection is 12:33:00
Then the children of the Zhao family were assessed, introducing the identity of the protagonist and his wishes
101st rejection 12:33:23
When being ridiculed, you can point out his will, is it angry, unwilling, or passable?
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:33:39
Well, understood.
101st rejection 12:33:45
With the will, he wants to look for a chance to turn over, right?
101st rejection 12:34:07
At this time, the head of the sect came forward to introduce the selection of the Heavenly Dao Army, which was an opportunity for the protagonist
101st rejection 12:34:19
He pricked up his ears to listen, what was going on with the Heavenly Dao Army
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:34:34
Well
101st rejection 12:34:45
As for the realm of cultivation, flight, and the life experience of the sect leader, this is all secondary information, so I will deal with it briefly, or put it below
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:34:58
Well
101st rejection 12:35:01
If you write like this, you will be able to distinguish priorities
101st rejection 12:35:25
And following the character's will-obstacle-action, in one go, the reader is easily attracted
【Xianxia】Rabbit 12:35:56
Well. Indeed, the books of the great gods are all in this order.
101st rejection 12:36:07
The most important thing is that you are explaining the information from the perspective of the characters, which is very real and vivid, and you are now writing from the perspective of the author, and you have forgotten the characters, fake, and verbose
101st rejection 12:36:26
There are characters acting on the stage, what kind of drama do you always grab from the characters?
101st rejection 12:38:30
I was tortured for months
Change the beginning 7 times
I was trying to introduce this information, and my head was about to burst
After holding back 7 drafts, I finally realized that telling a story from the perspective of the characters is the smoothest
The root cause is that the author steals the scene from the characters
101st rejection 12:44:43
Write it from the character's perspective first, increasing the protagonist's emotions and psychology
Pay attention to the fact that the information is presented in characters and less in dialogue
101st rejection 12:45:31
What I want to see is that the protagonist is excited, and now he is about to turn over!
The grand world scroll slowly unfolds
Feel that way
Feel that way
Emotions! Emotions!