"What do I have to cry about? If I hadn't gone in and not shot at that time, my soldiers would have suffered more casualties, and my comrades who guarded me had nothing to cry about. ”

"You're a liar! You're just guilty of shooting Balang to death, otherwise how could there be post-war mental syndrome? Your current hand tremors are caused by psychological reasons, and you have no difficulty wearing precision pearls, which means that there is no problem with the dexterity of your fingers, and the nerves of your fingers are not damaged, but you can't shoot out of the toy gun, this is obviously only for the reaction after the firearm, I guess the first thing that appears in your heart when you hold the gun is the appearance of Balang before he died, right?"

His expression told Xiao Qian that she had guessed correctly.

"You have repeatedly emphasized that you are right about your mission, in fact, it is the emotional separation symptom of post-war psychological syndrome, what you need most now is to vent your emotions, even if you are angry, you are sad, as long as you release these happily, it is good for you, you don't need to have the guilt of surviving, you see that when Balang died, in fact, you feel guilty that you are still alive, and your sense of mission makes you believe that you are right, but your emotions cannot hide the guilt of killing your friend with your own hands, husband, you need to vent。 ”

Xiao Qian said her judgment in one breath, as the top psychiatrist, how could she not see his abnormality.

"Can you cure it?" he asked.

Xiaoqian wanted to say loudly that she could, she was the best doctor, she had saved so many people, it didn't make sense that she couldn't save her husband.

But she couldn't say it, facing Yu Ming's clear eyes, she couldn't lie.

Putting aside the relationship between the two, just talking about Yu Minglang's character, she is helpless.

He has not shown any of the same emotions as normal people since the accident, he is oppressing his consciousness with his god-like self-control, as Xiao Qian joked before, a person like him is either a lifetime of strong poison inviolation, and even if it is a simple problem, it will inevitably kill him.

Xiao Qian's expression betrayed her heart, Yu Minglang pulled the corners of her mouth again, and reached out to rub her hair.

"Silly girl, if you can't cure it, then I'm not sick, it's okay, I'll be fine. ”

Xiao Qian looked at his overly calm expression, and a puzzle that had been bothering her since she was reborn finally had an answer.

This thought slammed into Xiao Qian's heart like thunder, and she was shocked by the huge guilt and self-blame.

She finally understood why she saw Xiaoqiang with such a character in her previous life, but in this life he has passed like a big boy for so long, so it is, all the puzzles have been solved.

A heartbreaking, unbearable answer is already on the horizon.

There has never been a change in this world for no reason, Xiao Qian couldn't understand the reason for the contrast in Yu Minglang's personality before and after, and it wasn't until this moment that she saw him suppress his emotions and finally understood.

In his previous life, he must have experienced the same thing, which made his personality change so much.

In his previous life, Yu Minglang was also a cheerful big boy before, and his face was as cold and warm as now, but one day, he personally eliminated the incoming Balang, and this guilt made him suffer from post-war trauma and collapse.

But he is also a very special existence, his strong self-control ability makes him react differently from other people with this disease, he does not have the nightmares, irritability, hypervigilance, amnesia and other common post-war psychological syndromes that others will have, but he has another symptom of post-war psychological syndrome, and his personality has changed greatly.

The trauma remained in his heart, and he never forgot the dead Barang, nor did he give up his punishment.

On the one hand, he kept his mission in mind and forced himself to be loyal to his duties, on the other hand, he could not forget the self-blame of killing Balang with his own hands, he showed no care on the surface, and repeatedly emphasized his mission, but how much he emphasized, how much his heart hurt.

Since then, it has not come out for many years.

The sunny Yu Minglang died after firing that shot with his own hands.

What is left behind is a deep man who looks strong but has a heavy burden in his heart.

From a broad point of view, Yu Minglang has matured, and his performance in his previous life is more like the behavior of a mature man, not making mistakes, calm, few words but having a good heart, he does not express his feelings to anyone, even his beloved Xiaoqian.

The scene where she hugged her and cried when she died in her previous life was probably the only emotional turmoil he had after killing Balang.

It is always said that growth is accompanied by pain, but Yu Mingming's growth is painful, Xiaoqian's first reaction after knowing the news was that her eyes were dark and she fainted.

She couldn't bear the pain, but he used the most understated reaction to cover it up, which was the most terrible thing.

Xiaoqian had a long dream during the time she fainted.

Yu Minglang, who was deep in the previous life, and Yu Minglang, who was cute in this life, alternated, she dreamed that the two of them sat and drank freely in their previous life, she poured cup by cup, he watched her drink cup by cup with mysterious deep eyes, and was pushed down by her in the end, originally she didn't remember his eyes at that time, but in the dream, those forgotten past events suddenly became clear.

He was at one with her, his eyes as clear as he had been when he had said it didn't matter if he didn't shoot or not, and she finally remembered what he had said when he was lying in her ear when he was half dead in pain in his previous life.

He said, "Don't leave me."

At that time, compared to the fact that he already loved her very much, he would say such a sentence, which was actually the deepest fear in his heart.

Yu Minglang, who already has post-war psychological syndrome, must have subconsciously felt that everything he loves will eventually leave him, just like his favorite gun.

Xiaoqian's soul floated in the air, looking at this scene, tears rained down in her dreams, and she regretted it.

She really regretted it.

She didn't understand him at all in her previous life, she complained that he loved the army more than her, and she hated his calmness. I hated his silence, hated that he finally looked at her with such deep eyes, so she had a premarital phobia, and she left him and ran away.

If she had discovered his abnormality early and seen the fragility behind his strength, would she still be a runaway bride with premarital phobia, and would she still give the two of them a broken life?

Xiaoqian's dream was shattered, she saw some things she ignored in her previous life, she also saw the warm company that Xiaoqiang gave her in this life, she saw the moment when she just came back, this second goods gave her carnations as roses, and she also saw him take her to the mud pit to fish and make her embarrassed.

She also saw the deep love behind the deep silence in his previous life that she hated.

It turns out that love has always been there, although the way of expression is different, but the only thing that remains unchanged is the affection he gives her, he never keeps giving as much as he can to her, even if she is afraid of becoming a runaway bride before marriage, he does not give up looking for her.

If she wasn't too stubborn, if he wasn't too strong, would the two of them come to such an irreparable point of sadness?