In fact, there is only one difference for me whether I go to work in the office building or not, that is, I have more opportunities to meet Hai Linlin in the office building. I was very proud of that translation, especially when she took pictures of me, and I thought she did a very good job. During that time, one of the things I was looking forward to more was the current issue of "Blue Star". The visit of the German expert group must be the headlines, and I, as a translator, should be included in the news, and with so many close-ups she took for me, I should be able to select a few good ones to rank in the accompanying pictures of the news.

As I expected, the current issue of Blue Star covered the visit on six pages, and there was a close-up photo of me translating a quarter of the page. I held the microphone in my left hand, pointed a laser pointer at a point on the projection cloth with my right hand, and turned half sideways to face forward, in the words of our colleagues in the workshop: "The master is full of fan. But the content of the article was only a passing mention to me, and it made me a little frustrated that someone from a certain department was acting as a translator. I was more concerned about Hai Linlin's state of mind when she wrote this newsletter, and her reaction when she chose to take a dozen close-up photos of me in a row, and she needed to carefully compare them one by one in order to choose the photos she was happy with. What would she think about my photos, and would she take a few more looks? Is it disgust or appreciation.

I officially moved to the office building a month later, not on the same floor as Hai Linlin. Every day at the end of the day, she would sit in front of the piano in the hall five minutes early, ready to play the piano for 15 minutes, so that the employees could end the day's work with the sound of music. I used to play the piano once a week on Fridays instead of playing it every day after work, and I would see her sitting there almost every day watching the back of the piano playing, but she certainly couldn't see me, which made me regain the balance that I could have slaughtered when she took pictures of me that day. I would look at her back every day, and she might have guessed that I would look at her, but she never knew when I would pass the hall behind her.

During that time, the company's work to convert an abandoned workshop into a library was also completely completed. I was doing this when I didn't come to the company, and I expected it to take nine months to renovate the library and then to officially open the library, but I didn't expect to do it for two and a half years. Books were collected from various places, and the number was very small, only twenty-one rows of bookshelves, some of which were empty. The reason why I often go there after that is not because I read the books there, but because I like the quiet environment in it, I buy my own books and take them to read them.

One day, when I came out of the bathroom with a bath towel after taking a shower, my colleague was surprised and said that he didn't expect me to look quite strong, and he hadn't noticed it before. His words caught my attention, and I deliberately looked at myself carefully in the mirror, only to realize that my figure had changed, my whole body was fat, and my belly was high and bulging. At the class reunion, when the class leader said the words "You haven't changed at all", I only thought that what he said was true, but my fortune was indeed true. He pointed to his stomach and said that he had become the body he used to hate, and my change was really nothing compared to his change, but it was still a big blow to me. The concept of time is clearer in my mind, and I have reached an age where I can't control my body. And the age of having such a figure only appears in my impression of middle-aged people who are married.

Since then, the bulging lower abdomen has become a major problem for me, and it is not very obvious when I wear a coat, but if I only wear a T-shirt, I always have a big belly. When I am working, walking, going to the bathroom, and riding in the car, I always look down, and sometimes I deliberately tuck my stomach to restore the appearance of my youth. Especially when eating, this feeling of helplessness makes me feel a little frightened, and I always think that this meal will definitely make me gain weight again; The first thing I did when I put down the dishes and stood up was to look down at my stomach, which was bulging more visibly than ever. Because of this, when I see Hai Linlin in the company park or office building, I always have a sense of worry and fear, afraid that she will see my fat figure and bulging abdomen. Once, when I was going out of the hall, she had just closed the piano cover and turned to step off the stage, and at a glance she saw me, and I felt her gaze visibly lingering on my stomach. Embarrassed and ashamed, I walked briskly out of the foyer of the office building with my head down. I lay on the bed in the dormitory, looking at the tattoos on the ceiling, complaining in my heart that my body had become so ugly and that she had found out. I made up my mind to reduce my belly and get my figure back to what it used to be.

The next day, I bought my running gear and started running. In the first few days, I only ran three kilometers at a time, but later it increased to seven kilometers, and by half a month, I ran ten kilometers each time. After getting off work in the evening, I ran along the sports field of the company park for an hour and a half, and the cold and heat continued. Unless the snow is too thick in winter, you can't run. After that, if nothing else, I spent every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in the library after work, running on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and was occasionally interrupted by other things. In the library on the company campus, I only met Hai Linlin once, and I wasn't sure if she saw me. That day, I saw her walk into the library with nothing, linger in the bookshelf area for more than an hour, and then walk out without borrowing anything. It was as if she knew I was in the library, so she deliberately walked in, walked around casually, let me see her, and then walked away on her own without greeting each other.

I was very resistant to the new work at first, which came from the ease of working on the shop floor and outdoors, and the uninhibited freedom of my colleagues. On my first day at the office, the director asked me to introduce myself briefly, and I didn't know where to start, but all the new colleagues were standing in their positions and looking at me. I used to have the impression that all the people in the office building always had a clear boundary between the well water and the river water, and whenever they came to inspect the workshop or the place where we worked, they always showed a somewhat condescending attitude, and I always knew that this was due to the nature of their work. And when I was about to become one of them, I actually had the feeling that the college class president was teasing my figure, of course, I never thought they hated it, I just felt that we had always been distinct.

More than a dozen eyes stared at me, I was nervous, and finally said a sentence after holding back for a long time: "My name is Lou Yuqi, please give me more advice." "No one expected it to be so simple, and after I finished speaking, the whole office was quiet for a while before the director took the lead in applauding and welcoming everyone. I saw that their faces were different, but most of them looked incredible and inexplicable. The director introduced each colleague and the work they were responsible for, and I used my expertise in portrait memory to quickly memorize each of them, and after a single visit, I could call out all of them by name. And they were all impressed with me and knew about the translation that night. From the first two days of work and casual conversation, they were all curious about why I went to work on the workshop.

"Because I've applied there." I said, "I don't have any other specialties. ”

I'm talking about the obvious facts, I really didn't know what to do with the new job, and although they were initially leading it, I still didn't know how to start with the tasks that were assigned to me. When they assign a task to me, I am always under a lot of pressure, for fear that I will not be able to complete it or make a mistake, and this situation makes me feel that it is not a good job, and I start to miss the days in the workshop and outdoors, and I don't need any great skills, as long as the limbs are sound and the logical thinking is clear, all the work can be solved. This ambivalence made me resist my new job, and I wanted to tell the boss who transferred me that I wanted to go back to my old department, but I felt that I was not valued by him. I never understood why I agreed to be transferred to work in the office building in the first place, but in fact, there was still room for me to consider in his commanding tone at that time. But at that time, I didn't even think about it and said yes, just told him that I needed to finish a job with my colleagues in the workshop team first. At that time, I should have known that I had never been in the office and that if I did this kind of work, it would be a disaster for me – both for myself and for my work. But it has come to this, and I have to rack my brains at the desk every day under pressure and depression, cooperate with my colleagues, or think about some work things by myself.

But things got right when I got used to working in the office building and started to work on my own, and I moved from a three-person dormitory to a two-person dormitory. I live with a veteran employee who has been working in the company for 12 years, and the first night I moved in, I knew that he and Hai Linlin were in the same office, and the two had been working together for five years. And he also discovered some of the relationship between me and Hai Linlin very early.

"You and Hai Linlin graduated from the same school." "And it's the same level and the same major," he said. ”

He said it lightly, but it seemed to me that it was a perfect word. He said that according to common sense, under such an alumni relationship, the two of us should be more acquainted, but he has always behaved too raw, and the two are always like a wall made of water, no matter who is afraid that if they take a step forward, they will touch the wall and wet their clothes. In fact, since I was transferred to work in the office building, I occasionally went to Hai Linlin's department because of my work. The first time I went, I had only been in the office building for three days, and I was still in awe of the people who had been around me as superiors. I knocked on their office door, stood at their door, and told them what I was here for, with a restrained and respectful attitude. Their director called me by name directly, and she remembered me at that training lecture and was very impressed with me. She told me that I needed to work with Hai Linlin and pointed me to her location. I started by standing next to her, bowing down and telling her that her hair would always smell the same thing, and every time I smelled it, it would make me feel pain from the past. At first, we all thought things would be done quickly, but because I had just taken over the job, a lot of things were ambiguous, which led to longer working hours. She whispered to me to pull a chair next to me and sit down with her. Her desk is neat and clean, and the computer background is an owl standing on a branch at sunset, with piercing eyes. She needed to look for some information that our department had sent him before, and as she was looking through the old emails, I saw seventy-seven emails that had been sent to her when she gave her advice to Blue Star a year ago, neatly arranged, with the occasional few other emails in between. Eventually, she found the email, interspersed with a list of the seventy-seven emails I sent her. I felt guilty that what was supposed to be a ten-minute job had been extended to two hours because of me, especially for her, and when I went, I found that she had a bunch of work on her desk waiting to be done.

"I'm sorry." I said, "Delay you for so long." ”

"It's fine." She said, "It's just a matter of duty." ”