The window was open, I greedily put my hand out of the window, and the wind ran through my fingers and blew across my hot cheeks, and there was nothing more covetous. I looked back at the man in the driver's seat, he didn't squint, his mouth pursed and his indifferent face showed that he was in a very bad mood at the moment, and I leaned back in the window, not wanting to mess with him.

Su Zhe said that he is the only person who can drive today, the only one who does not have to worry about being investigated for drunk driving, because he drank the first bottle of wine several hours ago, except for him, everyone else who can drive has become alcoholics.

That's why I was lucky enough to be able to ride in his car.

Su Zhe's so-called fireworks show was just to find a way to turn the class reunion into a mixed party, and I also saw the woman who hugged and hugged Lin Yue in Liu Yinzi's mouth there, Lu Xi.

I haven't seen her since I saw her in the hospital that time, and when I saw me tonight, she still remembered me, greeted me generously, and then continued to hug and hug Lin Yue as if no one was around.

Lin Yue didn't seem to care about the way my old classmates looked at him, and let Lu Xi stick it to him with a comfortable expression, and I suddenly became an abandoned woman in the eyes of everyone.

God knows how disgusted I am with this word.

Then, Tang Xiayi and Ru Yu, who had disappeared for most of the day, also appeared, Tang Xiayi is a very beautiful man, his appearance also made many men on the scene lose a lot of color, he waved his hand to me from a distance, and then asked me why my face was red, and after approaching, he unceremoniously described me as a cooked shrimp.

Ru Yu was beside him, and there was always a sneer on the corner of his mouth, which made people feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Xiao Sa only cared about drinking, no one cared about me, I was idle, so I found a corner to sit and nap.

Most of the lights were turned off before the fireworks show really began, and suddenly there were brilliant fireworks around us, and then many people's hands were also lit, shining in the dark, and it was beautiful.

Qin Jiami found me, I hid in the dark, she had a flaming fireworks stick in her hand, and then found me.

She said, "Xiao Chao, can I ask you for one thing?"

Before apologizing, she asked me first, and I said, "No, no, I don't agree." ”

If it weren't for the wine, maybe I would have said, okay, you said, I will agree if I can help you, and then, I will swallow the bitter water in my stomach like the heroine in a bitter drama, and live like a puppet, a lowly puppet.

Qin Jiami said: "I hope you don't mention the past to Xingxing again, I'm afraid that he will think about Chu Mingmin, it's cruel to him, I don't want him to be hurt." ”

I once wanted to ignore Chu Mingmin's existence several times, ignore her significance to Zhang Xingchen, and ignore the fact that I may be a substitute for Chu Mingmin, just to be able to stay by Zhang Xingchen's side safely. I have also been ashamed of myself for such thoughts countless times, but Qin Jiami has found the most beautiful reason to fulfill her selfishness.

I don't know what's right, I don't have any confidence in my values, I don't think my idea is right, but I always think that the most unfair thing is that two people who have loved each other are separated forever, and the living person forgets the dead lover's qiē, and the relationship becomes a nothingness.

Chu Mingmin's former existence and former feelings have all become nothingness.

"Don't you think you're selfish like this?" I asked Qin Jiami.

The fireworks stick in Qin Jiami's hand went out, and I couldn't see her expression clearly, I only heard her voice say coldly: "Do you know what the first thing Xingxing said after knowing about your suicide for him?"

“……”

"The stars said that you are not love, it is torture, and the stars think that your behavior of giving up your life for love is very terrifying. Qin Jiami said: "So in the same way, Chu Mingmin, who was looking for death for the stars, is also terrible to the stars, and it is not a good memory, if you love the stars, I ask you not to hurt him." ”

I originally prepared a basket of words in my mind to question Qin Jiami, I wanted to ask her why Zhang Xingchen's mother had to create the news of Zhang Xingchen's fake death to deceive me, why Zhang Xingchen didn't die after so many years and she didn't give me a word, why she and Zhang Xingchen were both planning to get married but chose to come back at this time.

But when I heard that torture, that terrible word, I couldn't say a word.

I really don't have enough confidence in my values, I don't know if my actions are correct, and I really don't know how terrible my single-minded pursuit of death was after learning that Zhang Xingchen was dead, and how deeply it hurt Zhang Xingchen.

I can understand Zhang Xingchen's anger, angry that I don't cherish myself, but I can't understand his terrible, that torture.

Because for me, the loss of a loved one is horrible, tormenting.

Life is supremely noble, I just thought that after Zhang Xingchen died, I lost the meaning and power of life to continue, I just was reluctant to let Zhang Xingchen go to a lonely and strange world, I felt sorry for him, and forgot how precious my life was, I think at that time, I didn't use normal values to measure my behavior right or wrong, I just ...... I just can't stand the terrible fact that he's gone.

"I'm not targeting you, I'm not hostile to you, and I hope you don't think of me as your imaginary enemy, I'm just trying to protect the stars, for a simple purpose. I said years ago that you would hurt him, but I wouldn't. Qin Jiami said.

That's what she told me.

I sat in the dark and thought about it for a long time, and after finally my thoughts clumped, I slowly fell asleep in the corner.

Not long after, the mobile phone ringtone woke me up, and Grandma Li from the countryside called, saying that my mother's mobile phone couldn't get through, and she told me that my grandmother's asthma was offended.

At that moment, I suddenly understood the words that Qin Jiami conveyed to me, tormenting, terrifying.

In my opinion, ending my own life seems to save me from heartache and leave the world without Zhang Xingchen, but the damage that my death brings to the people around me is so heavy and terrible.

I am so far away from my grandmother, an asthma attack may kill my elderly grandmother at any time, and my grandmother may leave me at any time to go to that world where there is no way back, and say goodbye to me forever, never to see her again.

I stood in the corner, looking around, crying helplessly.

There was only one thought in my mind, I had to go to my grandmother, I didn't know if the kind neighbors would be able to get my grandmother back, but I had to go to her as fast as I could.

The only person in the audience who didn't hold a wine glass was Zhang Xingchen, who was brought to me by Su Zhe and said that he would send me to my grandmother.

I was silently crying in the car, and I didn't dare to cry, just curled up in my seat and shivered.

Until, half an hour ago, Grandma Li called and said that the village doctor arrived in time and that her grandmother's life was no longer in danger.

Now, half an hour later, I put my hand out the window, feeling the happiness and joy of my loved ones for the rest of their lives.

"Now do you know how stupid it is to give up your life at will?" After getting in the car, this was the first sentence Zhang Xingchen said.

I retracted my hand that was outstretched out the window, and nodded meekly.

"Even so, I won't forgive you. Zhang Xingchen said in a calm voice, he was very unfamiliar with him.

"I don't need your forgiveness, you are you, I am me, I don't need your forgiveness for doing wrong. "I didn't plan to beg for mercy, there is no place for me by his side, even if he is angry with me and hates me, he shouldn't hurt me like this, besides, there is a Qin Jiami between us, what right does he have to forgive?

"So if your grandmother hadn't had an accident today, would you really live in the same room as Lin Yue's playboy, and turn the fake into real?" Zhang Xingchen turned his head to look at me, his eyes were fierce, and then he stepped on the accelerator in anger, and the speed of the car became faster.

"Zhang Xingchen, I said it, if you don't come to me, don't find any excuse to get close to me, and don't pretend to care about me so that I misunderstand and then be self-righteous, if you don't know how to break off with me, it's okay, I can teach you!"

I know that I'm not good and unreasonable.

However, I am used to turning myself into a hedgehog to scare Zhang Xingchen who wants to get closer, I just scare him, in fact, once he insists on getting closer, my thorns are just illusions.

"Lu Xiaochao!" Zhang Xingchen roared and stepped on the brakes.

My seat belt was unfastened when I was lying on the window blowing the wind, because of inertia my body was thrown out of the seat, and then my head hit the windshield all of a sudden, and my body fell back into the seat again, I held on to my buzzing head in pain, and then a cool touch slipped through the corner of my forehead, itchy, I reached out and touched it, and my hand was stained with some dark red blood.

Zhang Xingchen was frightened, and immediately unbuckled his seat belt, turned around to examine my wounds.

I thought he would coax me softly, but who knows, he was so angry that his eyes were red, and he glared at my wounds, and finally the volcano erupted.

He opened the door and got out of the car, and then saw him standing outside the car and kicking the car hard.

I staggered out of the car, thinking that things were really a bit big, so I said to his back humbly, "I'm sorry." ”

"You're not saved, Lu Xiaochao!" he turned around and continued to yell at me, without any intention of comforting me, he pointed at me and said, "If you just crashed out of the car, if you die, if you ......"

Zhang Xingchen's voice choked, he rushed over and grabbed my shoulder, his brows were tightened, the expression on his face was a little hideous, he kept repeating: "If you die! If you die...... Lu Xiaochao, I hate you, really, I found that I really hate to strangle you with my own hands......"

Looking at his sad eyebrows, I couldn't help crying, I reached out to hug him, but he pushed him away, I approached him again and reached out to hug him, but he pushed me away again, he said: "Lu Xiaochao, you are the one who stays away from me, the farther away from me, the better." ”