"Okay, then you talk about one first, Luo Sisi!" Tian Limai said. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Luo Sisi smiled and said, "What I'm talking about is not necessarily funny. Xiao Ming accidentally swallowed a small bar of soap while taking a shower, and his mother called the family doctor for help in a panic.

The doctor said, 'I still have a few patients here, and it may take half an hour to get there.' ’

Xiao Ming's mother said, 'What should I do before you come?'

The doctor said, 'Give Xiao Ming a glass of boiled water, and then jump hard, and you can let Xiao Ming blow bubbles with his mouth to kill time.' ’”

Luo Sisi joked, sure enough, no one laughed.

Tian Limai said: "Let me tell you, it is said that this joke was once ranked first in the world. The name of the joke is "Everyone Has to Live". At a gala attended by many celebrities, the gray-haired Pakistani film veteran Reilly staggered to the stage with a cane.

The moderator asked:

'Do you still go to the doctor often?'

Yes, often go and see. Reilly replied.

'Why?' the moderator asked again.

Because the patient has to go to the doctor often for the doctor to live. Reilly replied with a smile.

The audience erupted in applause, and people applauded the old man's optimism and witty language.

The moderator then asked:

'Do you always consult the pharmacist at the hospital about how to take the medicine?'

Yes, I often consult the pharmacist about how to take the medicine, because the pharmacist also has to make money to live. ’

There was another round of applause from the audience.

'Do you take medicine often?' the moderator continued.

'No, I often throw the medicine away. Because I'm going to live too. Reilly smiled.

The audience burst into laughter.

The moderator concluded:

'Thank you for accepting my visit!'

You're welcome, I know you're going to live too. ’

The audience continued to laugh. ”

After Tian Limai finished speaking, Jiang Wenwen and Luo Sisi laughed, but Uncle Luo and Gao Xiaoxiao did not laugh.

Jiang Wenwen said: "I will also talk about the origin of 'the reason for not doing one thing and two endlessly'. As for whether this is a joke or not, you will know when you hear it. Once upon a time there were two mountains, one of which was inhabited by the monk "Ichikyu" and the other mountain was inhabited by the monk "Erkyu".

"There is no water on either mountain. Every day, the first and second days had to go down the mountain to fetch water, and the two soon became good friends. One day, when Erxiu went to fetch water, he found that Yixiu didn't show up. Maybe Ikkyu was sick, he thought. The next day, Erxiu went to fetch water again, but Yixiu still didn't show up, so Erxiu began to worry and decided to visit Yixiu. Erxiu came to Ikyu Mountain, and he found that Ikyu was doing Tai Chi under a big tree. Ikyu was surprised and asked, 'Ikyu, why didn't you go and fetch water to drink?' and Ikyu replied, 'For the past three years, I have used my spare time to dig a well every day after picking water. Now that I've dug a well, and the water is gushing out, I don't have to go down the hill to fetch water anymore! I can save a lot of time and do what I love. Therefore, the first rest no longer has to carry water, but the second rest still can't rest. This is the 'one do not do two stops'. ”

After Jiang Wenwen finished speaking, Uncle Luo looked outside the door of the hall and said, "It's not early, let's stop chatting." After I tell you about the festival of March 3, Tian Limai, you can go and learn to sing mountain folk songs from your master. ”

"Okay, Uncle Luo, I'm just afraid that it's too late, the master and the master are waiting!" Tian Limai said.

"Then I'll just talk about the third day of March, so as not to delay the time. This March 3rd is not a festival of any one nationality, but a festival of many nationalities. Especially for the Zhuang, Han, Yao, Miao, Dong and other ethnic groups, it is an important festival, and its status in their minds is no less than that of the Spring Festival. Let me introduce them to you one by one. After Uncle Luo finished speaking, he continued to introduce.

The first is the Han Chinese. On March 3, the Han people called the Shangsi Festival in ancient times, which is a festival to commemorate the Yellow Emperor. According to legend, March 3 is the birthday of the Yellow Emperor, and since ancient times, China has a saying that "on the second day of February, the dragon raises its head, and on the third day of March, Xuanyuan is born". After the Wei and Jin dynasties, the Shangsi Festival was changed to March 3, and the descendants followed, and then it became the festival of the Han nationality drinking and feasting by the waterside and visiting the spring in the suburbs.

The Han nationality has the custom of eating boiled eggs from cauliflower. On the same day, there are activities such as flowing cups, flowing eggs, flowing dates, begging and wearing willow circles, exploring spring, going to the green, eating pure rice, and singing parties. After the third day of March, in addition to the sacrifice, the later period has developed into folk activities such as frolicking on the riverside, meeting men and women, planting willows and enjoying flowers.

March 3 can be pushed to the memory of Fu Xi. Fuxi and his sister Nuwa [tuán] made people out of soil, reproduced, the eastern part of Henan respectfully called Fuxi as "the grandfather of the people", built the ancient temple of Taihao Mausoleum in Huaiyang (Fuxi built the capital), from the second day of the second lunar month to the third day of March for the Taihao Mausoleum temple fair, good men and women, south ships and north horses, all gathered in the mausoleum area, worship the ancestors.

On the third day of the third month of the lunar calendar, it is still the day when the legendary Queen Mother opens the peach meeting. In the late Qing Dynasty, there is a seven-character poem in the "Dumen Miscellaneous Songs" that describes the grand occasion of the temple fair in this way: "In the first three days of March, the spring is growing, and the incense is burned in the Pan Tao Palace; "Legend has it that the Queen Mother of the West was originally the protector of a primitive tribe in the western part of our country. She has two magic weapons: one is to eat the elixir that can live forever, and the other is to eat the peach that can prolong her life - peach. The mythical and legendary Chang'e flew to the Moon Palace after stealing the elixir of the Queen Mother of the West that her husband Hou Yi got from her. Later, in some Zhiwei novels, the Queen Mother of the West was said to be the god of longevity.

The third day of the third month of the lunar calendar is also the birthday of the Taoist Zhenwu Emperor. The full name of Zhenwu Emperor is "Beizhen Tianzhen Wu Xuantian Emperor", also known as Xuantian God, Xuanwu, Zhenwu Zhenjun. Born in the ancient world of Xuanyuan, on the third day of the third month of the Chinese calendar, he is the righteous god in charge of military affairs and war in Taoism. Taoist temples in various places (such as Wudang Mountain in Hubei, Longhu Mountain in Jiangxi, Qiyun Mountain in Anhui, Qingcheng Mountain in Sichuan) hold a grand puja on March 3, and Taoist believers will also burn incense and pray in the temples on this day, or chant and pray at home. The "Zhenwu Mountain Taishang Zhenwu Inscription" concisely and artistically explains the origin of the Zhenwu Emperor, the main Zhenwu dojos in China, and the "benevolent heart" of Zhenwu's "Disaster to Save the Army". It explains the origin and significance of people commemorating Emperor Zhenwu on March 3.

In ancient times, the first day of March was regarded as "Shangsi", and the Han Dynasty was designated as a festival. "It is the moon on the top, and the officials and the people are all clean (clean) on the east flowing water, which is said to be washed and cleaned, and the dirt and scab (disease) are removed, which is the great one" ("Later Han Shu Etiquette Chronicles"). Later, the content of waterfront banquets and outings was added. At night, every household sets off firecrackers in every room of their house to blow up ghosts, and legend has it that ghosts haunt everywhere on this day.

The third day of the third month of the lunar calendar is also a day for psychic, such as witches, gods, etc., to feast on ghosts and gods. On this day, psychics often gather together to celebrate and feast on ghosts and spirits to thank them for their supernatural powers.

The second is the Zhuang people. The third day of the third month of the lunar calendar is a grand festival of the Zhuang people, and it is said that it is a festival formed to commemorate the Zhuang Song Immortal Liu Sanjie, so it is also called the Song Immortal Festival. On March 3rd, we rushed to the song booth, set up a singing booth, held a song party, and young men and women sang songs, touched eggs, threw hydrangeas, and talked about love. The Zhuang people mostly come to visit the tomb on the third day of March, and usually steam the five-colored glutinous rice on the third day of March.

The song generally begins with singing mountain songs, showing the humanistic customs of being able to sing and dance, thousands of people dance the bamboo pole dance, each square is very Zhuang Township characteristics, people hold five-color glutinous rice, hold the wine of Zhuang Township, carry the hoe of labor, and the delicate dustpan is also held in the hand.

The third is the Dong people. According to the legend of the Dong family, in ancient times, the original territory of the Dong family always took the time when the tung tree bloomed as the rice planting festival. But there is a year when the tung tree does not bloom, the result is wrong to the agricultural time, had to flee to the area of Baojing, in order to learn the lessons of the past, every three days of March people will blow the reed sheng and sing, visit relatives and friends, and remind each other that the Dong people are busy with agricultural affairs, more than the festival to hold activities such as grabbing fireworks, bullfighting, horse fighting, singing, stepping on the hall, also known as "fireworks festival".

Early in the morning, the girls went to the vegetable garden to pick half a basket of vegetables, washed them, dressed them and gathered under the Moga tree, and the young men waiting there waited for the opportunity to ask for the basket from the person they liked, and the recipient agreed with the girl on the date of returning the basket, and then gave back fruits and fabrics. Once upon a time, there was a young man and a woman who fell in love with each other, and the woman's mother promised her to a wealthy businessman to marry on the fourth day of the third month. On the third day of the new year, the couple who loved each other were under the Moga tree, grief and indignation, and jumped into the pool to die. In order to commemorate them, every year on March 3, local youths come here to play sheng duets and break free from the shackles of arranged marriages.

The fourth is the Miao people. The "March 3rd" of the Miao nationality is also known as the "Picking Onion Festival", which is evolved from the ancient love festival of young men and women of the Miao Nationality, it is said that every March 3rd day, men and women gather together in the name of digging wild onions to fall in love with each other on the hillside, and sing Miao songs while talking while digging wild onions, and the custom has continued to this day.

On this day, Miao girls dress up in costumes and come to a fixed place to show their beauty. The boys are also waiting for this day, they have the opportunity to meet many girls, sing with them, and if they like each other, they can be pulled home at once. So after the song is over, you can see a lot of men and women pulling and pulling.

The fifth is the Yao people. Before the "March 3rd" of the Yao people, also known as the "Ganba Festival", that is, before the "March 3rd" of the Yao nationality every year, the men of the Yao nationality go to the old forest a week in advance to hunt, hunt wild beasts, go down to the river to catch fish and touch shrimp, and bake them into dry rice to take home. Women go up to the mountains to pick natural dyes such as indigo leaves, boil the water and dye the glutinous rice into four colors: red, yellow, blue, and purple to worship Pangu, which has been passed down year after year to this day.

The Yao nationality also takes March 3 as the song festival, in addition to singing prelude songs, tea songs, and loose songs, they also sing bitter songs and Xie Xian songs, but rarely sing love songs. Eating and drinking are indispensable for wine, tea and the like.

The sixth is the Buyi people. Many Buyi people call "March 3rd" also known as "sacrificial silkworms". In order to protect the crops and strive for a bumper harvest, these Buyi people use fried buns and cereals as offerings on the third day of the first month of March every year, and go to the nearby hillside in groups to worship "the gods and silkworms", praying for the blessing of the gods, not to let the silkworms bite the seedlings in the fields, so that the grains can be abundant. After the sacrifice, people walk along the ridge of the field and sing mountain songs, and scatter the grain flowers into the field.

"March 3rd" is also a day for the Buyi people to worship God and pray for blessings. On the third day of March, the men of each family went up the mountain to worship the mountain god. At the beginning of the activity, the cattle or pigs were slaughtered first, and then each family would prepare more than a dozen pieces of money paper, as little as five or six pieces of money paper to be stained with the blood of the cow, and then take it to hang it in the field or the land, indicating that the land has been under the jurisdiction of people, and the wild ghosts dare not invade, and the diseases and insects dare not invade to ensure a bumper harvest. People light incense and red candles, offerings are placed on the stone table (must have flowers and rice), the old village stands on the front steps of the mountain temple and shouts: "The sacrifice begins!" The villagers under the stage face the shrine god in a staircase shape, their expressions are solemn, the atmosphere is solemn, and the mountains and forests are silent. Under the leadership of the village elders, the villagers knelt nine times and kowtowed, and the village elders prayed to the mountain gods for blessings, read out the warnings of the gods and the village rules and regulations, and solicited everyone's opinions. After the objections were unified, everyone knelt down in front of the temple and promised not to fulfill the contract and abide by the village rules, otherwise they would be punished by the mountain god. On the third day of March, worship the god of the mountain, the god of water, and the god of the village.

The seventh is the She ethnic group. The She ethnic group takes March 3 as the birthday of the grain, and every family eats black rice. Legend has it that among the She people, the third day of March is a major festival that can be compared with the Spring Festival. On this day, families slaughter animals and sacrifice to their ancestors. Many families often choose this day for their wedding. Eat black rice during festivals. When night falls, bonfires are held and songs are played.

Legend has it that in the Tang Dynasty, Lei Wanxing, a hero of the She ethnic group, led the people of all ethnic groups to revolt and was trapped in a battle on the mountain. Due to the lack of food and grass, the rebel army was about to be wiped out, and they relied on eating a wild fruit called "Wu Niozi" to satisfy their hunger, and persevered for several months, and broke out of the encirclement on the "third day of March" of the following year, turning defeat into victory. In order to commemorate these She heroes, on the third day of March every year, the She people will eat "black rice" as a commemoration. Around the third day of March is spring ploughing, so eating "black rice" also means praying for a good year.

The eighth is the Li people. The third day of March of the Li people is the traditional outing festival of the Li people. Legend has it that during the flood, Tianfei and Guanyin brothers and sisters, wandering in the Wuzhi Mountains, survived. In order to pass on the lineage, the younger sister has a tattoo pattern on her face, so that the brother can't recognize it, and she becomes a husband and wife, has children, and slashes and burns, so that Wuzhi Mountain is rich. Since then, on March 3 every year, the young people of the Li nationality will bring bamboo fragrant rice and flower umbrellas to Wuzhi Mountain to welcome spring.

Every "March 3rd", the Li compatriots in each village gather in the wilderness, carry Shanlan rice wine, bring bamboo rice, and hold powder guns, archery competitions, middle-aged and elderly Li men and women chanting duets, dancing bamboo poles and other folk customs activities with strong characteristics. At that time, you can also see young men and women in pairs to carry out the unique way of "mountain love".

The ninth is the Tujia family. March 3rd of the Tujia family is the Valentine's Day of the Tujia family. On the third day of March, the elder brothers and sisters of the Tujia family got together to use mountain songs as a medium to step on their feet.