"As long as a person reaches the absolute, there will be no suffering, and as long as he forgets his feelings, he will be liberated. , the latest chapter access: ШШШ.79xs.СоМ . ”

I don't know why, I was already numb, but when I heard this, I felt a little sad inexplicably.

Maybe it's because I've had this kind of struggle and pain too.

I have to tell myself that in order to survive, I have to do everything, and no matter how great the pain is, I have to bear it, although I have not been absolute, I have not been able to completely forget my feelings, but I have experienced such struggle and despair to some extent.

So, I said softly, "Indeed, I have killed people." ”

“……”

"I, of course, am not a saint, and when I die, I certainly will not let anyone slaughter me. ”

“……”

"When people want to live, they have to confront people, things, and things that put them to death. At that time, survival was all that mattered. Killing people in order to survive is, and it will not be a heinous thing to put on anyone. So, it's not that you can't kill. ”

His eyes softened slightly: "Light." ”

"But," I looked up at him, "it's not indiscriminate killing. ”

“……！”

I heard him breathe, and I said slowly: "Yes, all people in high positions inevitably have such a past, and it is impossible for everyone to be clean in the red world. But all these excuses and forgiveness do not mean that you can kill innocents indiscriminately. ”

“……”

"You think that as long as you are diligent and love the people and be a benevolent monarch after you ascend the throne, then no one will remember your previous killings. But how long can we forget, how long will it take to wash away those blood, and how long will it take to wash away? When the royal family entered the customs, Yangzhou washed Yangzhou's blood, and until now, the people of Yangzhou have not forgotten that massacre. If it weren't for that massacre, if it weren't for the fact that Yangzhou people have remembered that hatred for generations-"My throat was stalked, and I only felt that tears were about to pour out, and I gritted my teeth before I reluctantly said: "How could the officials sent to Yangzhou by the imperial court die one after another?"

“……”

There was a little pain in his eyes, and after a long while, he slowly said, "Then why did you stop me from slaughtering the city?"

“……”

"Aren't you going to destroy my way? If I slaughter the city in Yangzhou, won't more people hate me and more people overthrow me?"

“……”

"Why don't you do that?"

I glanced up at him.

Indeed, what he said is not unreasonable, I really want to destroy his path, in the most painful, the most helpless, I also gritted my teeth and thought, let him go wrong like this, if a person's road step by step to a desperate situation, it is the end and the beginning of destruction.

But—

I lowered my head and said lightly: "No matter how you go, no matter what I want to do, it is better to die in the city in vain." ”

After saying this, I seemed a little weak and did not speak again.

And he didn't speak again.

It's just that I felt that painful and tangled gaze After hearing my words, a little warmth rose in such a cold and snowy place.

He took a step forward, and the umbrella in his hand trembled slightly, and then a burst of snow fell from the top of the umbrella, and they all fluttered and drifted to our faces with the wind, bringing a chill.

I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't say anything, just wrapped his other hand around my waist, which also stopped me from subconsciously stepping back.

Then his 'lips' were lightly imprinted on my forehead.

Originally, in such a cold and snowy place, my skin that was already a little cold and numb suddenly touched the soft, hot 'lips', and the touch tingled me to tremble slightly, but he restrained all my movements and retreats, but he didn't go any further, just put the 'lips' on my forehead, as if to end our conversation with this hug, this touch that is not like a kiss.

He pressed his forehead against me and said indistinctly, "Do you know why I can't let go of you all the time?"

"I don't know. ”

If I knew, how nice?

He chuckled, his gaze seemed to fall behind me, so dazed that he didn't know where he was looking, so even his tone became a little uncertain.

He said softly, "I don't know. ”

“……”

"But I've always been like this, and I can't let go more and more. ”

“……”

"Light, in today's situation, I am deeply stuck in the mud, the retreat has been broken, and there is no turning back. ”

“……”

"I seem to be the same with you. ”

“……”

"Light, if one day, I can let go of this world, then maybe, I can let go of you. ”

He slowly lowered his head and looked at me: "You say, will there be a day?"

“……”

I also looked up at him, and in those eyes full of warm smiles, I did not see what he described, his determined, convinced future, but only saw a pitch black, as dark as an abyss.

|

That day, he kept holding an umbrella and sent me to a room in Yuwen Mansion, and even thoughtfully closed the 'door' for me outside, everything that had been prepared in the room made me quickly free from the chill brought back from the ice and snow outside, looking at his figure outside the window, and stayed for a while before walking away.

He, no matter what he said to me, no matter what I said or did to him, did not seem to change, and he was still as gentle and considerate as ever.

But by the evening of that day, the atmosphere outside had become wrong.

Although I didn't hear anything, and no one would come to me to tell me anything, I still felt that something was wrong when I looked at the hurried expressions of the people walking outside, listened to the anxious and messy footsteps, and the deliberate low-pitched comments of some people.

After dark, the oppressive atmosphere became more and more apparent.

The snow had stopped, and the whole mansion was so quiet that there was not even a sound.

I found that the 'flower' bamboo did not follow me closely and guard my 'door' as usual.

Of course, I have reached this point, I will not be stupid enough to run away, so I sat alone by the window and felt the silence outside, until the evening, I heard someone step on the snow deep and shallow feet to come to my side, push the 'door' to see, sure enough, it is 'flower' bamboo.

When she raised her eyes and saw me, she was also stunned for a moment: "Miss Yan, you haven't slept yet?"

I looked at her, "What's going on outside? Is something wrong?"

“……！”

She was stunned.

As soon as I saw her stunned expression, I knew I had guessed correctly.

"What the hell happened?"