Santa Claus said, "Ahem, what's wrong?

He opened his mouth wide and said, "It's hard... Are you Santa Claus?"

Santa's face was full of pride and he said, "That's right, I'm Santa Claus." Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ”

The students were amazed, and then excited and excited.

"Santa Claus......! Santa Claus actually exists!"

Li Yu walked over, hugged each other, and said, "Young man, I have limited time, hurry up and say what gift you want?"

"Are there any restrictions on gifts?

"Theoretically. Any gift is acceptable. ”

"That's it. The student's eyes lit up, "I, I want to be admitted to Tsinghua University!"

“…… So, you're a scumbag?"

The student said, "Well, it's not really, I usually do in the top 10 of my class." ”

"Then why do you want this gift? Why don't you just ask for money?"

The student said: "Because, although my grades are not bad in the class, it is still a little difficult to be admitted to Tsinghua University." It's not that I don't work hard, it's that my mind is really inferior to others. As for money, I believe that money is only meaningful if you earn it. ”

Lingxue sighed: "Ah, what a good child. ”

Santa Claus couldn't help but sigh and said, "Yes, what a good child...... For your honesty's sake, put 100,000 yuan into this card 4105435421, and I will help you solve this matter. ”

The student was stunned.

"Why do you need money?"

Santa Claus said, "Because I'm going to get paid to get in touch with people at school." ”

"This ...... Go through the back door?"

"Ah, of course, since you can't pass the exam, you can only spend money. ”

"No... No... In general... Aren't you supposed to take out a memory bread or something like that from your four-dimensional pocket?"

Santa Claus said angrily: "Rub you*! Lao Tzu is Santa Claus, not Doraemon!"

"Is there any money?"

"No... There is no ......"

"If you don't have any money, forget it, you can work your own, let's go. ”

"Hey, isn't it, you really want to leave, you just left, won't your conscience hurt?"

Santa Claus snapped his nose and said, "Conscience?

A leap of faith from the window.

The student was stunned and said, "......"

……

After leaving, Li Yu said: "Forget it, no charge, no charge, no charge, people are too poor now, they can't take out the money at all." ”

"It shouldn't have been charged a long time ago, we are Santa Claus, and we are not blackmailers. ”

"Blackmail the old man?666, I hope this family is a normal person. ”

"I don't think you're normal......"

A teenager who looks like a junior high school student has a card on his desk.

Santa Claus, I'm a bad boy, I have to have a shot with the right sauce every day, I tried to restrain myself, but I can't control my chirping, I hope you can help me.

Santa Claus was silent, then silently placed a knife on the table.

And left a card.

Cut it. Eighty percent of a man's troubles in his life are caused by it.

"Alright, we can go to the next one. ”

Ling Xue also pretended to be stupid and said, "Hmm!"

……

Home of a schoolboy.

Santa Claus, please change all the points on my paper to 101 or my parents will beat me to death!"

By the way, there was a person in our class who scored 100 points in all subjects, and I wanted to be the first in the class, so it was 101 points, not 100 points.

As long as I take the first place in the class, I won't have to get beaten! I can have more time to play games!

Santa Claus was silent, silently opened the schoolboy's bag and found the score of the paper.

30 points in language

13 points in mathematics

0 in English

Santa Claus said, "I'll go, how did you get a score of 0 in the exam? Even Humon should be able to get a few questions right, right?"

Music......

Fine arts......

Transcript, second to last in the class overall.

Santa Claus was silent again, touched his pen and changed his report card to ...... First to last.

Santa Claus said, "Son, I can only help you get here." ”

Anyway, what he just said was to be the first in the class, and he didn't say whether he wanted to count positive or backward......

"Okay, let's go!"

……

Men's bedroom.

I hope there has been a windfall recently.

Santa Claus is silent.

Then he fumbled and pulled out a picture from his pocket.

That's his girlfriend.

and a photo of a strange man holding hands, talking and laughing, and walking to the hotel.

Surprised?

Not surprised?

……

Santa Claus jerked out of a room.

"I'm tired, this sock smells too sour!

……

Man's home.

Santa, I hope there is a lot of money!

Santa Claus said, "No problem!"

Then, more than 10 million ...... were laid down

VND.

Then, find the man's wallet and take the same amount of RMB inside.

……

After leaving, Lingxue asked, "Li Yu, what kind of money did you just take?"

"VND. ”

"How can there be such a large denomination of Vietnamese dong?"

"I don't know, the Vietnamese dong is not worth much anyway, one yuan is equal to more than 3,000 VND. ”

"Ah, that's worthless, isn't it?"

"Rest assured, at the current rate of depreciation of the renminbi, it will not take a few years for the renminbi to be on par with the Vietnamese dong. ”

……

Home for elementary school students.

I didn't have a dad since I was a kid and I wanted a younger brother.

When Santa Claus saw it, he exclaimed, "Kid, I really can't help you with this." ”

Then, I noticed a young and beautiful single mother in her twenties in the house.

Lewd smiled: "Hey, hey, maybe I can help with this favor." ”

Ling Xue tugged at Li Yu's ears and said, "You can't help!Okay, let's go!"

……

Santa Claus, I hope my son will give me a grandson sooner.

Santa Claus walked silently to the middle-aged couple's room, and then pierced a box of sets with a few holes.

"That's all I can do for you. And he departed.

……

Li Yu exhaled and said, "Whew, it's almost, I think it's okay to send another one." ”

Ling Xue said: "Hey, but this is far less than a hundred?"

Li Yu said: "One hundred families, do you really want to exhaust me? It's almost enough, it's really not good, let's come back next year." ”

"Oh. ”

The two entered a family.

A young man like a college student.

No socks, no wish cards.

"I'll go, it's the last one, can you cooperate?"

Li Yu took out a bottle of cream and squeezed it on one of the young man's palms.

Then, scratching his face with a feather.

Subconsciously, the young man slapped his creamy hand on his face.

The young man woke up violently.

“666，666。 ”

"You... Who are you?"

"I'm Santa Claus, I came out to give you a present, what do you want?"

The young man did not have the slightest suspicion and was pleasantly surprised: "Really? Santa Claus, I want a unicorn." ”

Santa Claus was silent and said, "Young man, can you make a realistic wish?"

The young man was silent and said, "Then I want a girlfriend." ”

Santa Claus smiled and said, "Young man, what color do you want for a unicorn?"

The young man cried and said, "Pulse band, Santa Claus, I want a girlfriend, I want a girlfriend!"

"You want black, right? Yes, no problem. ”

"What the hell is black, at least it's pink!"

"Okay, no problem, pink unicorn. ”

In the next second, a lively "unicorn" appeared in front of the young man.

"Wow, there really are unicorns...... Santa Claus, wait a minute, is this a unicorn? Why does this unicorn horn look so fake?"

Santa Claus said weakly: "What a fake, this is a real unicorn." ”

With a questioning expression, the young man walked over and touched the horns of the "unicorn".

And then.

The unicorn's horn just fell!

“……”

Santa Claus said weakly: "What, it's common sense that a unicorn's horn falls off every year, and it will grow new horns the next year, don't worry." ”

The young man roared, "Santa Claus, are you kidding me? It's just an ordinary pony! It's just that you've dyed it pink!"

"No, no, no, young man, how can you have such a terrible thought? Do you mean to say that I, Santa Claus, am lying to you?"

"No... I didn't say that......"

"Alright, the unicorn has been delivered to you, and we're going to go too. ”

"No... Santa Claus, you wait a ......."

"Leap of Faith!"

……

Li Yu stretched his waist and said, "It's finally delivered, and I can rest today." ”

Ling Xue also sighed: "Yes, I never thought that being a Santa Claus would be so tiring. ”

"Well, by the way, where do you live?"

"My family lives in the **road** community. ”

"So coincidentally?"

"Hey, Li Yu, you also live in this community?"

"No, I don't. ”

"Then why are you so excited, I thought we lived in the same neighborhood. ”

"Tease you. ”

"Hmph~"

"Okay, okay, let's go get the fawn, and we'll go home after the fawn. ”

Ling Xue's eyes lit up and said, "Who are you going back to?"

"Go back to your own house, find your mother. ”

Lingxue pursed her lips and said, "I want to go to your house." ”

"No, I can't. ”

"Why?"

"I have someone in my house!"

Ling Xue hurriedly asked, "Male or female?"

"Female. ”

"Cut~I don't believe it~"

"Male. ”

Ling Xue's face was full of shock, she took a few steps back, and said, "You, you, you, you, ......."

Li Yu said shamefully: "Hey, isn't it, you don't believe the woman, but the man still believes it?"

Lingxue laughed "poof" and said, "People are joking with you~"

"Bo'er. ”

On the side, a passerby walked by, and his face was full of anger when he saw this scene.

"Made, you were kissing when I went to the Internet café before, and now I'm all back from the Internet café, and you're still kissing!

Ling Xue snorted lightly: "Poor guy, we have not only kissed each other, but we have also done all kinds of things like this. ”