1357 Have You Changed Your Mind? I've changed, too
read336();
"What happened to that seed I followed you?"
That seed of him and mine?
Probably, even I didn't think about it, and if I gave up, who would look back?
I looked into his eyes, and when I heard this, I wanted to speak several times, but I couldn't open my mouth.
Perhaps, at some point in the past, when my heart was still full of hatred, I would not hesitate to stab that sharp blade into his chest, but today, when he told me that he had "broken his attachment", when I realized that I didn't love, or even hated for a long time, I couldn't do it.
Loved ones, maybe painful.
People who don't love can't escape that kind of pain either.
I have only lived half my life, but I have spent too much time imprisoned, imprisoned in the Hongyan Building, imprisoned in the imperial city, and imprisoned in the picturesque walls......
Imprisoned by his side.
I don't know that bowing my head and being soft will make my life better, after all, I already have a daughter, and he is the emperor who controls my life and death, and controls the life and death of so many people.
But I can't fool myself.
Looking at my painful eyes, he was silent for a long time, and finally said slowly: "You raised other people's seeds and gave up the one between us, didn't you?" ”
As sharp as he is, I can't deceive.
"Yes......"
I didn't look into his eyes, I just slowly lowered my eyelashes.
He took a deep breath, and a heavy chill suddenly emanated from his body, enveloping me immediately. I thought I should say "I'm sorry" and apologize to him at this time, but those words choked in my throat for a long time, and I couldn't say anything.
I'm not sorry for him.
When I loved him, I tried my best to wronged myself; When you don't love, you don't grieve yourself anymore.
Sensing my silence, he looked at me for a long time, as if he was suppressing something, and slowly asked, "When did you raise his seed?" ”
“……”
My heart inevitably sank, and I looked up at him.
His eyes are unchanging pitch black, deep, without a trace of light, making people feel as if they are facing a bottomless abyss, and they don't know where they will fall if they take another step forward.
My breath was choking, too.
He pinched my thin shoulder, not too hard, but I felt that the whole person was clamped by him, like a butterfly with nailed wings, and I couldn't escape without him letting go.
He looked me in the eye and said, "Say it." ”
“……”
"Is it in Yangzhou? That little fishing village? ”
“……”
"You've spent so much time there, and he's been taking care of you—by the way, I almost forgot that you said you wanted to marry a fisherman."
“……”
"So—"
"It's not."
He was stunned by these two words, which were sudden, but indifferent, as if a gust of wind could blow them away, and his breathing stagnated for a moment, and then he stared at me with wide eyes: "Isn't it?" ”
I still shook my head: "No." ”
"W-when?"
When was it?
I also want to ask myself, at this moment, maybe I should really think about it.
Then I remembered his clear eyes and indifferent expression, remembered that he said, "Fate will eventually be together, and evil will always be separated", I remembered that he said that he admired me, and I remembered the distance between me and him—no more, no less, only one step away.
I looked at Pei Yuanhao and smiled sadly: "When Your Majesty greeted Fu Badai from afar." ”
He was stunned for a moment, and was about to say something, but I continued to say calmly: "When I was in Jixian Palace. ”
“……”
"At the time of the Juma Valley."
“……”
The more I spoke, the more my voice trembled, and the strength of his hand grew heavier and heavier, almost crushing my bones, and I finally finished the last sentence with a trembling moment before the most painful moment came:
"When he set fire to the Jixian Palace......"
His eyes became more and more chaotic, his breathing became more and more chaotic, and in the end, he even couldn't control himself, grabbed my shoulder, buried his head and gasped vigorously, I felt his vulnerability, as if the next moment, something in his body would shatter. I thought he would roar, and he would be angry and ruin me, but I only heard his heavy gasp and vague muttering-"It's not Yangzhou...... Not in Yangzhou ......"
Yes, not in Yangzhou.
My seed and his seed grew up in the most difficult Yangzhou, but the one with Liu Qinghan did not grow up in Yangzhou, where it should have been smooth sailing.
It's in the palace.
It was the same difficult situation and the same difficult environment as it was at the beginning.
The emperor's high pressure, the eldest princess's intervention, and even his own deliberate alienation and coldness, but the seed still grew.
How ridiculous? I didn't fall in love with the emperor in the palace, nor did I fall in love with this little fisherman in the fishing village.
I fell in love with them when I didn't want them, where I couldn't have been.
Therefore, I deserve to endure those sufferings.
When the tearing pain in my heart spread, the pain in my shoulder, almost like he was about to crush my bones, was also stabbing me, I gritted my teeth and didn't moan, but I saw him slowly raise his head, his red eyes, almost the same pain as mine.
He said, "I shouldn't have let him into the palace. ”
I said, "Everything is fate, and nothing is up to anyone." ”
He said, "Isn't it up to anyone? I don't believe it. ”
“……”
My heart skipped a beat, but for some reason, I intuitively felt that I was pinched hard by a pair of invisible black hands, and he stared at me without blinking, as if he wanted to see through my gaze at this moment: "You forgot, I gave him a marriage." ”
“……”
"Don't I know that he won't fall in love with Yuanzhen?"
“……”
"I gave them a marriage, not so that he could really be locked by Yuan Zhen for a lifetime, but for him to be locked by himself for a lifetime!"
“……”
"For the sake of this day, you two have no way back!"
I don't know why, the things that once made me so desperate and so painful, at this moment, when I said it through his mouth, I didn't have so much pain, perhaps, it was already numb to pain, and I couldn't feel it.
I smiled: "I love him, not to have to be with him, but I love him in my heart, I bear such pain, and I enjoy such happiness." I don't have to force him to be with me, like someone loves me, but I don't necessarily give myself away. ”
He nodded.
"But I'm not you, and I'm not him."
“……”
"I'm such a person, I still want you, I-" He said in a heavier tone, and his hand was heavier, "I want to be with you." ”
Looking at him like this, I can only laugh.
He is indeed not me, let alone Liu Qinghan.
He will never give up lightly what he wants to have, even if it will make people unable to breathe, he will not let go lightly, but must grasp it in the palm of his hand!
I forgot, this is him, Pei Yuanhao!
I burst into tears, almost unable to see the person in front of me, he pinched my shoulders, pressed me hard against the cold door, looked down at my shining eyes, fiercely, gritted his teeth and said, "Have you given up that seed?" I didn't give up. ”
“……”
"Have you changed your mind? I've changed, too. ”
“……”
"And I'm going to make you come back!"
He's changed too?
I lost my mind for a while, and then I remembered in a trance that he had told me that he had broken his attachment.
Once, let him use so much heart and put the most emotion, Nangong Lizhu, who had been alone in this harem for so many years, finally changed his heart and exhausted his feelings.
He also changed his mind.
But he still wants me to change back?
Do you want me to go back to the same path I used to be?
I gritted my teeth, subconsciously shook my head, and even began to struggle and writhe, trying to break free from his shackles, only to find that he had already pressed me tightly under me before I began to move, and those dark eyes kept looking at me, not relaxing for a moment.
I finally looked up at him in a bit of a panic, and met his face, which was neither warm nor expressionless.
But at this moment, I already understood what he was going to do.
His breathing became more and more intense, and it became hotter and hotter, and he slowly lowered his head, and was about to iron my lips when I closed my eyes, already knowing that the invasion was coming, unrefamiliarized.
But his lips, and his breath, stopped at a distance of mine.
"Really, can't?"
His voice sounded in my ears, and it seemed to hurt so badly that I could clearly feel his body trembling slightly as I said it.
"I won't beat you, I won't torture you......"
“……”
Hearing this made my breath sink suddenly.
This sentence reminded me of the beginning, when I was still in the imperial study, he also said to me, it was after that time, I was distracted, did not refuse him, and walked into that period of life that could not be turned back.
Now, he's saying that to me again?
I smiled bitterly, slowly opened my eyes, looked at him, a thousand words, but couldn't speak, just smiled, looked at him so helplessly.
He also looked at me with a firm gaze: "I don't force you, let alone force you." ”
“……”
After a moment of confusion, he slowly let go of his hands.
Slowly, a step back.
I barely had time to react when I felt the solid, hot body leave me, and immediately, a gust of wind blew through the gap between the two of us.
The cold feeling suddenly smoothed out the frenzy and restlessness just now, his gaze became a little calmer, and he looked at me fixedly, but said with an unbelievable tenderness: "I, I just want you to change back." ”