We here, there is an old saying, children are too smart, they will not grow tall, because of the size, they are all caught in the eyes of the heart, and those who grow tall are stupid and big, in fact, there is no science at all, there is no basis, when I was in my previous life, I was one meter six and five, in this life, I ate so well when I was a child, I can basically eat a meal of meat a week, and now the nutrition has kept up, how can I be, I am taller than in my previous life, how can I be shorter.

"I want to eat more in the future, grow taller, make more money, take my mother and father, and go out to play together," I hugged my mother and began to be coquettish, my mother looked at me, held me in her arms, and laughed happily.

However, now is the warm time, and no one bothered us, my mother hugged me and said it, she and my father, recently in the town, what happened, I also said it, I and Wang He and Grandma Zhang, things at home, this feeling, just like my previous life, when I went back for the New Year, my mother took my hand and shared things at home with me, in fact, she wanted to know more, I was alone, in the big city, whether I was doing well, and whether I was happy or not.

Really, my mother is worried, no matter how tall I grow or how old I am, in her eyes, I am her child, and I am the person she has been worried about and missed, even if we have changed a lot in this life, experience and mood, many things have not changed, just like now, my relationship with my mother.

In fact, in my previous life, I didn't like it very much, chatting with my mother. The relationship with my mother is not as close as my father. In my heart, my mother has always been difficult to get along with, but my father has always cared about me, whether he is strict or not, but I can feel it.

Mom is different. When I was a child, my memory of my mother was my mother. Beat me often, when I don't obey, when I don't study. Hit me. I steal money from the family, go out to buy snacks, beat me, I watch TV dramas, I don't want to do my homework, and they beat me.

The broom at home is often used as a weapon by my mother, in fact, when I grew up. I didn't understand her very much, and even felt it at one point. I'm not her biological child, and I've thought about running away from home, and the second secondary school is rebellious at that age, and I also work against her, and I don't listen to what she says.

Even because of the good conditions at home back then, my father and mother have always wanted a son, in the hearts of rural people, this kind of feeling is deep-rooted, to have a son, can support the elderly, but at that time, I happened to be in junior high school, and it was also a particularly sensitive age.

At that time, relatives in the family would also tease me, they would say, if your mother wins a son, she won't like you at that time, and she won't love you, what can you do, in fact, it's all a joke, and I have to be very clear in my heart, but after listening to it too much, I have to start thinking about it in my heart.

At that time, I was very paranoid, and I didn't know who I was going to share this matter with, and I felt very sad, every time I had a weekend off, I saw at home, my mother had a big belly, and my father cared about it, and when I got it at night, I would secretly hide in the quilt and cry.

At that time, I didn't like to study, and I don't know if my mother was too strict when she was a child, and when I was in junior high school, I was very strict in rebellion, and at that time, I didn't know what to do.

I discussed with my mother, as long as my grades went up, they didn't want a younger brother, at that time, my mother also smiled and agreed, but then I was pregnant, I didn't know how to face it, this matter, in my heart, began to resent them, I felt that they lied to me, and began to stop loving me.

Even in the future, at home, they will only feel sorry for their younger brother, at that time, I even thought about it, suicide is not wanting to live, every day when I have class, I just think about it, thinking that if I die, will they be sad, will they regret having this child.

At that time, I was very sick, and I once wrote a suicide note, and the suicide note has always been taken back by me, because I haven't thought about it yet, when to die, how to die, those times, in my life, there is no way to forget jì.

For me, at that time, my sky was black, no other color, there was no zài, and then I don't know how to persevere, but it was all micro, this good friend, has always been with me, she is the youngest child in the family, she has no way to persuade me.

But just stay with me, listen to me talk about these things, even look at me every day, don't let me think about it, just afraid that I will do something on impulse, others think, I am like a joke, I don't understand why, I care so much, this matter.

In fact, when I think about it now, I don't understand it very well, maybe I was too selfish and possessive, so I couldn't bear it, others shared it with me, and my parents treated me well.

In the end, my mother gave birth to a girl, that is, my sister, my father was very unhappy at that time, and he was not very good to this child, and even fought at home, at which time, I felt that I was sorry, this child, I felt that if it was a boy, it would not bear this.

So I was very good to this child, when I was in junior high school, I brought 5 yuan a week, but I was not willing to spend it at all, unless I needed to buy pens or other necessities, and the money I saved, I would buy her something when I went home on the weekend.

At that time, I felt that my heart was no longer so guilty, at that time, in fact, the most hurt should be my parents, how they wanted a son, I know.

Just because they expressed Xiàn so strongly, so my heart was very afraid, and I sometimes thought that if they really gave birth to a son, maybe I would have committed suicide at that time, because I had to keep my written suicide note in my pocket all the time.

At that time, I even, I had already thought about it, if I gave birth to a son, they shouldn't need it, I'm a daughter, then I live here, there is no point in it, they won't know for the rest of their lives, I once had this idea, and even because of this matter, I have been unable to let go for many years. (To be continued.) )