492. It backfired

No matter how everything changes in the world, the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west, and it will not stop for a second. 【】

Xiaoyu also thrived like a healthy seedling, taller than her mother, and the adolescent rebellion that followed also appeared.

First of all, he was impatient with his mother's nagging, although he did not show it in words and emotions, but he always took an "oh, um, ah" attitude towards his mother's words, and Shandan knew that the child's puberty was coming, and he didn't mind it too much.

Although everything was new when she moved to a new house, Shandan's depression did not improve, and she became more anxious.

As a doctor, she understands her physical condition and is actively adjusting, but Gu Haiping's departure is really a pain she can't let go, and she is also actively exercising - once again began to hike through the park to commute, but the familiar scenery such as flowers and trees in every happy day made her can't help it.

She wanted to endure, resist, and heal the psychological pain through physical strength, and also hoped to drive away the gloom in her heart through the light in the sun, and so three or four years passed.

She no longer sheds tears at every turn, but the uncontrollable pain in her heart still hits her from time to time.

The quality of sleep was also improved through meditation and chanting under the guidance of Master Ba.

Everything seems to be returning to calm and normal.

It was a Sunday night, Xiaoyu had eaten Shandan's homemade watermelon yogurt juice, watched TV alone in the living room, and Shandan went to bed early to read and sleep.

Before going to bed, Shandan told Xiaoyu to turn off the computer at 10:30 to take a shower and go to bed, and she had to go to school the next day.

Xiao Yu still replied without raising her head: "Hmm." ”

When Shandan woke up, the light in the living room was still brightly on, and he suddenly became angry.

She rushed out of the room and saw that Xiaoyu was still watching Mango Channel's "Happiness-Base Camp", and her temper suddenly exploded.

"Didn't I tell you to take a shower and go to bed at half past ten? What time is it? Shandan roared hoarsely.

"Right now, right away!" Seeing her mother's distorted and angry face, Xiaoyu turned off the TV in a panic, got up and fled into the bathroom.

Shandan's nerves were almost insane, and she felt the urge to harm herself, and she wanted to crash into the wall and die.

Seeing the child hiding in the bathroom, Shandan couldn't restrain her emotions, she rushed over and kicked the door hard, shouting......

The door lock has been locked by Xiao Yu, and Xiao Yu cried timidly from inside: "Mom, I was wrong, I won't dare next time!" I'll take a shower and go to bed now, Mom, go to sleep. 【】”

Xiaoyu has been uncooperative and silent for a while, although Shandan understands intellectually and medically, but the anxiety and dissatisfaction in her heart are still accumulating, there is no place, no one can relieve her, and suddenly this mine was ignited.

She felt like her whole head was going to explode, her limbs were trembling and numb, and her heart was beating wildly as if it was about to come out......

This is the first time that Shandan has a temper since Gu Haiping left, and she has been restraining herself, whether it is the ruthless persecution of Teacher Gu and Boss Gu; or Gu Haiping Medical Center, some people cross the river and tear down the bridge; The callousness of the hospital...... She didn't take everything to heart and let it pass.

However, where is the harm intercepted in the bottom of the heart, which is said to be in the past?

The long-suppressed emotions exploded like a blowout, and she really couldn't control herself for a moment. She didn't have time to care about whether the child could bear it or whether the neighbors minded, so she cried so loudly.

After she had vented her noise, she sat down on the ground limp and let her tears flow.

There may never be more peaceful days in this life, and calm is such a peaceful word, but it is so difficult for her to achieve......

If the mind is not at peace, it will be the same everywhere and there will be no fixed place.

Her sanity slowly returned to normal, and she knew that what she had just done was so inappropriate and inappropriate, but what could she do?

In this unaccompanied, she has no one to rely on, all the big and small things have to be done by herself, and the life in the market in the past few years is the most difficult day she has ever experienced in her life.

Xiaoyu didn't take a bath, squatting in the bathroom in a panic, she didn't know how her mother could be so violent today? She listened quietly to her mother's seizures outside the door, and she was terrified, clasping her arms tightly and crying under her breath.

At this moment, she misses her father so much, how good would it be if her father did? If Dad is here, Mom won't be so unhappy and won't lose her temper so much.

After a long while, Xiaoyu could not hear her mother's voice, and she opened the door worriedly and cautiously, and found her mother leaning against the wall outside the bathroom door, her face pale and dying.

"Mommy, Mommy! What happened to you? Mom, don't scare me, woo woo woo ......" Xiaoyu cried loudly.

Shandan opened his thousand-pound eyelids hard: "I'm sorry, Maotou, my mother can't restrain her temper, don't be afraid, help my mother up." ”

"Mom, I was wrong, I will listen to you in the future, don't be sad, Mom!" Xiaoyu tried her best to help her mother up, but Shandan became a mess like someone had cramps, and she had no strength at all, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, "Maotou, you go and pour a glass of water for your mother, and get another painkiller, I'll rest for a while and get up." ”

Xiaoyu obediently went to get the medicine and pour the water, and Shandan leaned against the wall to blame himself......

For several years, she has been trying her best to adjust herself, fighting with her fate with the innate spirit of not admitting defeat in her heart, she can't admit defeat just like this, even if God tells her to go to hell, even in hell, she has to hold her head high, she is trying so hard to get out of that haze and go to the sun.

She got up an hour early to do Tai Chi, she walked to and from work for two hours, she walked out of the door to the sun, walked into the crowd, she actively participated in various activities organized by the unit, she served as the women's committee of the unit, a member of the party branch, the leader of the trade union group, etc., she wanted to keep herself busy by increasing the content of life, she also picked up the pen and ink that had been put aside for a long time to use the pen to pour out the anxiety in her heart, she signed up for a guzheng training class to learn guzheng, she also bought a pen, ink, paper, inkstone to write calligraphy, I knit a carpet after dismantling and washing old cotton clothes that I don't wear...... She was so busy that she thought that in the past few years, she had slowly come out of hell.

However, it was the child's momentary disobedience that detonated the wounds she had so deliberately buried, and she was like a powder keg that had been ignited, only to explode until all the energy was burned out. She fears that this will happen again in the future, and she is considering whether to see a psychiatrist .......

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