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Three.

Two.

One.

The live broadcast of the Spring Festival Gala has officially begun!

First, a two-minute promotional video was inserted, the short film was shot gorgeously and traditionally, front-line workers from all walks of life appeared in the short film wearing the costumes of various posts and industries, and finally concentrated on a Spring Festival train, everyone hugged their fists, and a few words appeared on the screen - Spring Festival Gala.

The dance music sounded, it was national music, and in the sound of music, the actors appeared in red and hung on the green land, some danced the Uyghur dance, some danced the Dai dance, and some danced the Mongolian dance.

"Ugh."

"How do I have an ominous premonition?"

"Me too."

"A hodgepodge? Sweat. ”

"The composition of the staff is too complicated!"

"This opening dance is really too 'Spring Festival Gala'!"

"Isn't it like this every year, quick, find a slot!"

"Jokers, come on!"

There are already jokers on the stage, but the party has just begun, everyone has not yet entered the state, and they have not found any good entry points, and there are no two points of complaining.

At this time, the Mongolian dance performers rotated to the front, and the big screen behind them also played the names of various places in Inner Mongolia, and every time a place name came, there were locals wearing Mongolian robes and riding horses, or guarding yurts, or in schools, all of which were photos of New Year's greetings.

"Joker!"

"What about people?"

"Go!"

"What about everyone's combat effectiveness?"

"Who will start the 'first slot' of the Spring Festival Gala!"

Suddenly, a complaint appeared on Weibo: "I'm from Inner Mongolia." I was in ********, and I would like to say that I explained to my friends in the field that we did not live in yurts for so many years. I don't ride a horse to school, I don't bathe with milk, I don't wear those Mongolian robes, and as a result, when the Spring Festival Gala was broadcast, my efforts for so many years were all in vain. ”

As soon as this spit came out, everyone went crazy!

"Aha!"

"Poof! It's so funny, hey! ”

"Your mother is a professional complaining player!"

"It's professional at first glance!"

"That's amazing!"

"I vomited the first groove of the new year!"

"Hahaha, laugh at me!"

"Oh, what kind of power is this!"

"I'll see who sent it. It's funny! ”

As a result, when netizens saw this person's name, they burst into laughter for a while!

"Poof!"

"It's Zhang Ye!"

"My grass is Zhang Ye's deity!"

"Laughing!"

"Hahaha!"

"It turned out to be Zhang Ye, I'll just say who has such fierce combat power!"

"Come and see! Teacher Zhang is shooting at the Spring Festival Gala again! ”

"I'll just say that the Spring Festival Gala program team just issued such a targeted statement. basically pointed at his nose and said Zhang Ye, Zhang Ye is definitely not his style if he doesn't fight back! ”

"Teacher Zhang has also joined the army of jokers!"

"Zhang Ye is mighty!"

"Teacher Zhang is doing well!"

Zhang Ye's joining, the army of jokers was extremely excited!

If it was a complaint from other jokers, maybe it wouldn't spread so quickly. But this complaint is from Zhang Ye's hand. The speed of transmission can be imagined, Zhang Ye's Weibo fans are an extremely large number, a little more than 10 million, for a while, the opening dance on TV has not ended, and this complaint has been spread all over the Internet!

……

Grandma's house.

The third sister shouted: "Hahaha, brother, you are too damaged!" ”

The second sister laughed, "Brother." Are you really complaining? ”

"It's so classic!" The eldest sister also looked at the meager mouth and smiled, "It's still our brother's mouth!" This spit is too professional. The entry point is accurate and ruthless! ”

Zhang Ye didn't care. This is all the essence summed up by netizens and jokers in his world, can it be accurate? Can it not be ruthless?

……

The opening dance ends.

The host has started to show off!

Chen Ye was dressed in bright red clothes, "Welcome the festival once a year!" ”

The hostess next to her said loudly: "The whole country celebrates the New Year!" ”

There is nothing new in the lines of several hosts, all of them are more old-fashioned New Year's greetings, the only difference from the previous Spring Festival Gala is that the stage has changed, it is more gorgeous than before, and there are more scientific and technological elements.

Soon, the second show began.

It is also a singing and dancing program, with a focus on singing.

A big-name singer appeared on the stage and sang: "Ancestral country, new atmosphere!" ”

A film and television star took the stage, "Every year, it's new." ”

An old singer sang, "The common people are very happy." ”

A soprano, "Qi Kua, Communist-Communist-Party." ”

This is a new song, and I don't know who wrote the lyrics and composed the music, but I haven't heard it in previous years.

Netizens complained:

"This word is so positive!"

"Khan, is there no other show?"

"I'm almost asleep."

"Can you not do this? Why does this year's Spring Festival Gala seem to be even more boring than in previous years! ”

"There are so many slots that I don't even know how to vomit."

"The sketch is coming!"

"I'm looking forward to language programs!"

The third program finally ushered in the first sketch of this year's Spring Festival Gala.

But when the audience saw it, they were even more dizzy.

The sketch is called "This is the New Policy", which tells the story of a pair of rural families who encountered some problems and obstacles because of going out to do things, and finally because of the new policy approved by the state, they got things done smoothly.

Netizens have mixed reviews.

"It's okay."

"There are a few laughs in the previous paragraph."

", where did the laughter come from? I was speechless the whole time! ”

"It's so boring! It's not funny at all! ”

"What kind of sketch is this?"

"Dizzy, it's different from what I expected!"

Then there was singing and dancing, shouting slogans again, and finally, the first cross talk work came. It is the sixty large group of Tang Dazhang's cross talk group "Family Reunion"! In the past, it seemed that this show appeared relatively late, close to around zero, but later because of too much pressure from public opinion. There were too many doubts from everyone, so the Spring Festival Gala program team made temporary adjustments and advanced Tang Dazhang's cross talk.

Linguistic stage scenes.

Tang Dazhang and all the senior brothers, brothers and apprentices strode onto the stage.

As soon as he came up, Tang Dazhang smiled and waved his hand to the audience, "Audience friends, let's meet again." ”

The applause below was sparse, and many people were happy when they heard it. It's not how funny this sentence is, but many people remembered Zhang Ye's sarcasm about Tang Dazhang in the paragraph "I want to go to the Spring Festival Gala".

"Here, we will give you New Year's greetings first!"

Sixty people bowed in unison. Say in unison: "Happy New Year!" ”

"Today is a good day."

"Yes."

"It's just one day a year."

"That's right."

The cross talk began, first the two of them said, and then they entered the singing link, and the remaining more than 50 cross talk actors joined together. There are erhus. There are those who play the strings, and a few female comrades who sing big drum books have also joined one after another, and a cross talk has made a huge momentum, singing and dancing!

Netizens are stupid.

"Is this cross talk?"

"How do you feel like it's a singing show?"

"It's so boring!"

"The only few laughs in it are all old stalks from several years ago, and one stalk seems to be very familiar, as if it was a stalk used by Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai to change it!"

"This is really a family reunion! I'm listening to the pee! ”

"The slogan is so bright, it's worse than I expected!"

"Tang Dazhang is old. Now it is getting worse and worse, out of touch with the times. ”

"This year's Spring Festival Gala doesn't seem to be in the same era as us. If someone tells me that it is the Spring Festival Gala five years ago, I am convinced! ”

"I finally know why Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai can't be on the CCTV Spring Festival Gala this year, Teacher Zhang and Teacher Yao obviously can't have the political consciousness of Tang Dazhang's gang!"

After a few shows, many people have completely lost their temper!

The jokers are threatening.

Even Brother Dao, the head of Zhang Ye's fan group, participated.

Fan Yingyun: "This night, people all over the country can sleep peacefully, and my mother no longer has to worry about my insomnia!" ”

But among all the complaints from top to bottom, there is one complaint that is particularly conspicuous, "Wonderful, so exciting!" This year's Spring Festival Gala is the best news broadcast I have watched in more than 20 years of life. It abandons the usual news broadcast, which is a single form of oral broadcasting and images, and integrates songs, dances, sketches, VCRs and other forms. It is another innovative breakthrough in news and propaganda, which has been deeply rooted in the brain and heart, and has profoundly practiced the principle of three closeness, which is worthy of learning and understanding by all comrades on the news and propaganda front! ”

Weibo Publisher:

- Zhang Ye.

When the jokers saw it, they were all shocked!

"I'm spitting on the grass!"

"Teacher Zhang is bright again!"

"News hookup?"

"Hahaha!"

"People have a good party, how can you say that it is a news broadcast! Ha ha! ”

"This spit, it's so godly!"

"Tonight, Mr. Zhang has to offend a group of people again!"

After a few minutes, the host began to play with the couplet.

This host asked, "The country is thriving. ”

Chen Ye said to the next couplet, "The people live and work in peace and contentment. ”

At this time, Zhang Ye made a meager gesture again: "Tell you a good news, tell you a good news, comrades who can insist on watching this year's CCTV Spring Festival Gala, there will definitely be no hurdles that cannot be passed next year!" ”

"Hahaha!"

"Laughing to death!"

"Let you offend Zhang Ye! See! ”

"Poofha, I decided not to watch the Spring Festival Gala, I will celebrate the New Year with Zhang Ye's meager face!"

After the next program ended, the host team came out again, thanking the leaders, thanking the audience for so many years, and thanking the Spring Festival Gala program team for their hard work.

Almost at the same time, Zhang Ye's complaint came out again, "Thank you, everyone should thank the program team of this year's Spring Festival Gala, it was you who made me realize my mistakes, tonight, we owe a deep apology to the last session, the last session, and the last Spring Festival Gala - I'm sorry!" ”

"Excuse me? Burst! ”

"Oops, I can't do it!"

"Zhang Ye is too damaged!"

"I'm already laughing in front of the computer! Hahahaha! ”

"Yes, we all owe an apology to the last Spring Festival Gala! I shouldn't have scolded them in the first place! ”

"Don't you want to be so funny!"

"Look at the level of Teacher Zhang's harm, you really can't do it!"

"Nonsense, in terms of hurtful kung fu, who can compare with Teacher Zhang?"

"Awesome! At the critical moment, it still depends on Mr. Zhang! ”

Many jokers are convinced, "Sure enough, it's Zhang Ye, his writing and eloquence are professional, and he is not at the same level as us amateur jokers!" ”

As soon as the joke came out, the judgment was made.

Tonight, Zhang Ye had fun with the people, turned into a member of the Tucao army, and directly became the leader of the jokers, giving full play to the Tucao to the fullest, spitting out a new height and a new realm!

The live broadcast of the Spring Festival Gala continues.

Zhang Ye's complaining continues!

Every sentence of the host can be caught by him, and every detail of every show can be complained about by Zhang Ye. Countless jokers have already "stopped working", just look at Zhang Ye from the first second of the Spring Festival Gala there, and complain to the last second of the end of the Spring Festival Gala! Of course, there are also those that Zhang Ye did not complain, such as Zhang Yuanqi, such as Zhang Xia, such as Ci Xiufang's sketch show, but whenever Zhang Ye knew a good relationship, he didn't say anything, this guy has always been like this...... It's not right for people!

The crowd laughed and leaned back!

Zhang Ye's family couldn't cry or laugh.

The mother said: "Son, you don't even eat dumplings and just post on Weibo?" Why are you so bored? ”

Zhang Ye was in high spirits, "You just knew, I've always been so boring!" ”

The third sister is afraid that the world will not be chaotic, "Brother, one more!" One more! ”

Zhang Ye said: "I sent another one, go and give me a thumbs up!" ”

"Roger! Hahahaha! ”

……

The Spring Festival Gala is over.

When the people in the director team wanted to go online to see the reactions of netizens and the public to this Spring Festival Gala, the moment they opened Weibo, several deputy directors and staff such as the chief director and Xu Yipeng ...... It's all stupid!!

What is it?

What is it?

Everyone almost spat out a mouthful of old blood!

Zhang Ye! I-grass-you-big-master-ah!

You're so immoral!

Zhang Ye's hundreds of complaints and Weibo swiping really shocked the people in the director team of the Spring Festival Gala! More than a hundred! Obviously you will go to the live broadcast of the Beijing Spring Festival Gala tomorrow, obviously you have a bunch of things to do, you are such a big star, Chinese New Year's Eve night so leisurely in front of the TV spent a night complaining about our Spring Festival Gala? The people in the director team of the Spring Festival Gala scolded their mothers one by one!!

This is a stinky-rascal!

One of the most cheating hooligans in the entertainment industry!

……

[The plane has been rebooked, I can only go back to Beijing tomorrow, and write it well after I go back! ] 】

…… (To be continued.) )