Refresher 2001.10.16

Today, I started to study at the Chengdu Institute of Skin Prevention and Treatment for one year. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 ｉｎｆｏ

This is the age of knowledge, and I have to learn new knowledge to ensure that I will not be eliminated by society in the future. I bought dermatology books that my teacher asked me for, and I was reading them all when I got off work. When I go to work, I rotate through several departments, and I go there to help and learn from which department has more patients. Special thanks to all the doctors, who taught me unconditionally and unreservedly, and some even gave me their precious dermatology books. At that time, you didn't need to give gifts to your teachers, you didn't need to help them complete their papers, they really taught us knowledge, which was the most normal thing. The two professors in the institute, who enjoy ****** special allowances, were also kind to me, and when I fell ill in a situation that is rarely seen in normal times, I immediately asked other trainees to call me. I consider myself very lucky that it was the happiest time since my divorce. Not only did I learn from them that I could use for a lifetime, but most importantly, I learned from the professors how to be a true healer and how to be an upright person. Later, after the training, the Institute of Leather Research wanted to recruit a doctor, and I was the only one among the dozens who was recruited, which is the later story.

I miss you so much when I'm alone, as long as I have time, I will call you unconsciously.

You say on the phone, "Mom, where have you been?" ”

"Son, mom is in Chengdu."

"Where is Chengdu? I miss you. ”

When I heard your voice, my mother burst into tears. My baby, Mom is not by your side this year, you have to take care of yourself. Less sickness, more food, and more knowledge, as long as you are safe, your mother will be relieved.

When I first arrived in Chengdu, my mother fell ill due to the unsuitable climate. I was afraid that my parents would be worried and didn't dare to tell them. Son, mom misses you, thinks about it all the time, thinks unforgettablely, I really want to take you by my side, but the conditions don't allow me. The money for further study is borrowed, how can I afford the sponsorship fee for studying in a kindergarten in a different place? Besides, you have to be on duty on Saturday and Sunday, how can I take care of you? Son, forgive mom for being cruel to you. Mom can only do this, why doesn't mom feel heartache?

I hope that the love of your grandfather and grandmother can accompany you to grow up healthily, and I hope that you can understand the helplessness and concern of a single mother when you grow up.

Grow up, I'll wash your feet 2001.11.23-11.26

As soon as I dialed the phone at home, and before I could speak, you shouted on the other side of the phone: "Mom, my mom! "My baby, is it really a mother-son connection? Is it really a good idea? How do you know it's your mom? Do you miss your mom?

I only heard my grandmother say next to me: "Oh, your mother, your mother, we won't rob you." ”

I have a lot to say to you, but when I hear your voice, I can only say, "Son, you need to read more, listen to your grandparents, and eat more." "Wait, you obediently said yes one by one.

Suddenly, you say, "Mom, I'm going to wash your feet when I'm older." "I thought I had misheard, and you said it again in a childish child's voice. My tears flowed down my face. Baby, with you, no matter how hard Mom is, it's worth it.

Tomorrow I will move the dormitory, because the room here costs 180 yuan a month, I want to save as much as possible, so I went to find a hotel of 3 yuan a day, so that it is only 90 yuan a month, and you can save 90 yuan to go back to Rongchang to see you.

The next day, a colleague who studied together helped move things, and when he saw the dormitory environment, he resolutely refused to let me live there, and insisted that I live for 6 yuan a night, saying that he could help me pay the extra money. In order not to worry him, I promised him to stay for 6 yuan a night, but refused his help. After he left, I moved back to the 3 yuan dormitory. It's night, and loneliness and helplessness all come over me. Child, I really don't know how to live without you? As long as it's safe, as long as you can read, it doesn't really matter where you live. I can save more money for you, and I want you to study more, because only knowledge can change your own situation.

The residence is far from the leather research institute. There are people of all religions here. I was terrified of passing through their malicious gaze every day.

Baby, you are the only hope in Mommy's heart, supporting Mom on her hard journey. Maybe your mother's lifelong efforts can't give you a rich life, but I hope you understand that your mother's love for you is the most selfless, and it is no different from other rich mothers. I tried, that's all I can say. Children, may Heaven hear Mother's prayer and give us peace and happiness!

I love you deeply, I miss you, I care about you, how I want to hold your little feet in my arms, how I want you to fall asleep with my hands on my back, how I want to tell you stories, how I want to kiss your little face, how much I want to touch your little buttocks. Baby, Mommy loves you and misses you!

Next time I go home, I'll let you wash my feet. Maybe you can't wash it clean, maybe you wet your mother's pants – so what's the matter? Your little hands will sweep away all the worries in my heart, won't they?

Careful Eye 2002.3.26

An An, you love to be angry, and you drop things when you are not satisfied, or ignore people. Sometimes I even cough and spit out food on purpose, and I can only cling to you when I am frightened, and my grandparents also spoil you. I know it's wrong, but I don't feel good, I owe you too much, and I want to compensate you in some way. Although I borrowed a lot of money for further study, I bought you a lot of things every time I went back to Rongchang. I want you to understand that your mother will always care for you.

During the Spring Festival, I posted two pictures in front of your bed: one is a mother panda and a red panda, and the other is Santa Claus. I tell you to sleep and watch your mother panda, just like your mother accompanies you. Every time I go home, I want to hug you to sleep, but my heart, you have grown up, you are a little man, you should share the bed, this is conducive to your growth.

You love to be clever. Once, you and your younger brother Zhang Yuhui had candy on their hands. After you finished eating, you said to your brother, "Brother, this is not good to eat, it will poison people, and it will be lost!" The younger brother hurriedly threw it to the ground, but you immediately picked it up and threw it in your mouth, causing the dumbfounded brother to cry "wow". Why are you so careful?

You always say on the phone, "Mom, where are you?" Why can't I find you? "Mom's heart hurts, and I can't wait to fly to you from Chengdu, more than 260 kilometers away, to be with you forever. You still call your grandmother "Grandma's mother" - do you think your grandmother's love replaces your mother? I'm sorry, child, mom's heart and soul baby, mom is going to study now, forgive me, okay?

Today, I asked Uncle Mo to buy a children's bed and go back to Rongchang, so that you can sleep until you enter the school.

I would love to find you a stepfather who is far, far away, so that your biological father will never find you. At the age of three, you can now accept another stranger as a father, and as long as it is beneficial to your education, I am willing to give everything, even if it is at the expense of my own happiness. I don't care if he loves me or not, as long as he accepts you and loves you, I will treat him sincerely with heart for heart.

In three months, my mother's further education will be over, and we can be together for a long time. I will always take you with me and never leave you from Mom again. Maybe I'll go away with you, maybe I'll stay in Rongchang, everything is decided by time.

Today, I bought you a videotape, an audio tape. I will carefully make a plate of tape for you to give to you when you get married, so that you and your bride can feel the love of your mother. I will love what you love and treat her like a daughter. Child, I will make up for your lack of fatherly love. I'll make you a useful person.

Both of us mother and son have to live strongly!

Miss you, baby! Kiss you, heart!