I hadn't eaten all day on Saturday, and when I woke up in the morning, I felt dizzy and blurry. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

I touched my belly, it was almost sunken, and my stomach was empty and hungry, but I didn't have the idea of going out to eat.

This is not the first time I have been so hungry, during the quarrel with my father in the third year of junior high school, I was often like this, I had no appetite at all when I was depressed, and of course, there were some thoughts of abusing myself.

Leaning weakly on the head of the bed, he reached out and took the mineral water that had been opened for two days and had not finished drinking, and drank it clean in a few sips, and his belly was finally flat as usual.

Yesterday I fell asleep in clothes, and I lay in bed in a daze all day with my clothes on, and when I woke up, I thought about some of them, and then I fell asleep again in a dizzy mood, and the cycle continued.

I took my phone and looked at the time, but it was only six o'clock.

I touched the money in my pocket, and the two hundred yuan I brought yesterday only cost a few dozen.

Want to smoke......

Although the grocery store may not be open at this time, I still have the idea of going out and shopping around in my room.

Hang out until you get a cigarette and come back.

I made up my mind, put on my slippers and got out of bed, went into the bathroom and wiped my face casually, not even wanting to look in the mirror, and kept my head down.

Opening the bedroom door, Lemon, nestled at the dining table, noticed me, stretched and stood up, and meowed at me. If it had been before, the cat would have rushed up and hugged its calves to ask for breakfast.

I felt a little guilty about lemons, and after a while, I put a little guilt behind me, closed the room and walked into the hall, only then did I notice that a chair in the hall was covered with cigarette ash and cigarette butts.

It's Lin Hao who smokes.

He doesn't smoke much, maybe because of me......

The faint guilt in my heart became deeper and deeper, but I told myself that it was just that Lin Hao wanted to smoke, and he was a smoker comparable to a class leader when he was in junior high school.

Once, I met a netizen who suffered from depression on the Internet, and he told me that I might be mildly depressed, but I have always felt that depression is very middle-of-the-road, isn't it just that I am in a bad mood and a little depressed.

It's just that when I'm in a bad mood, I'll be very irritable and refuse everyone, I'll lock myself in my room, and I'll throw things at familiar people because of a little pimple that suddenly appears in my heart...... It's like yesterday when I threw a glass of water at a lemon.

Walking on the street, because it is a Saturday and Sunday, this place that is not crowded is not very crowded, and there are even fewer people in the early morning at six o'clock, and occasionally you can see a few uncles and aunts sitting on the street, or some busy owners in the breakfast shop.

Because it is a Saturday and Sunday, there are several breakfast shops that have opened less.

Across the street, there is a small supermarket that Lin Hao and I frequent, but it is still open.

Just glanced at it, and continued to walk forward, the taste of soy milk fritters gradually became stronger, and the stomach that had just been filled with mineral water "cooed" twice in protest, and the tip of the tongue began to secrete saliva.

I casually entered a breakfast shop with few customers, ordered soy milk meat buns and a bowl of mixed noodles, and sat down at the small table in front of the store.

Soon, the soy milk meat buns were all delivered to the table, bowing their heads and chewing in small bites, but the meat buns that should have a strong aroma were tasteless in the mouth. But I still eat at a very slow pace, just because I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do.

Just like the rest of my life, I don't have a goal in front of me.

They have all become women, where is the goal? Even if it's just an ordinary way to find a wife to get married and have children, I can't do it.

"Rachel."

A hand tapped me on the shoulder, and the man sat down across from me, looked up slightly, and saw that it was Ah Hong.

I vaguely remember that Ah Hong seems to walk every time he comes home from school, probably because he lives nearby.

"Coming out for breakfast so early?"

"Hmm."

"What about Lin Hao? Isn't he supposed to be with you too? ”

"I'm sleeping."

"I'm going to go to the gym to play basketball after eating, do you want to join us?"

"Nope."

After he ordered breakfast, his mouth kept talking, but I kept my head down and said nothing.

"Feeling bad?"

Ah Hong finally found out about this fact, so he also fell silent, and when the breakfast was brought to the table, he immediately ate it in a big gulp, only a few minutes to eat it clean, and then drove away on the moped.

It was like avoiding me.

So I was in a worse mood, and after taking a bite of the noodles that had just been delivered, I walked up to the boss, handed over the money to the boss at the price I had calculated, and then left the breakfast shop again.

Still floating aimlessly on the street, as soon as a grocery store opened on the street, I walked in and bought a pack of cigarettes for more than a dozen yuan and a lighter, and stood on the street and took the lit cigarette in my mouth.

Actually, I never smoked on the street, and when I smoked, I just hid in my room and smoked silently.

But I couldn't help it, and my heart twitched weirdly and slightly in the hope that I would smoke as soon as possible.

I hadn't smoked for a long time, and before I spit out the first cigarette, I was choked by the thick spiciness, and I was so choked that I squatted on the ground and coughed, and the tears I coughed unconsciously dripped down.

My chest was tight, and I don't know if it was because of my mood or because of the smoke.

The second and third bites were a little smoother, but on the fourth bite, my brain started to feel dizzy.

I glanced left and right at the pedestrians on the side of the street, most of them were elderly, and some of the aunts were still pointing at me, but I couldn't hear what they were saying because they were too far away.

Anyway, it should be something like "what a good little girl learns not to learn to smoke", right?

It doesn't matter, no matter what you say, I can't hear it anyway, so let's go home.

I wasn't a very good smoker, and when I was walking, the wind blew in front of me, and I didn't feel like smoking at all, and the pungent taste I was looking for was gone, so I threw half of my cigarette in front of me, and casually crushed it with my toe as I walked by.

Walking towards the way home, look at the pedestrians with blank eyes, look at the scenery, look at the gloomy sky.

It's as heavy as my heart, it should be raining.

The pace was still unhurried, and one drop of rain fell on my face, which after a moment turned into two drops, and then evolved into a fine drizzle.

That's nice......

The drizzle fell on my body, and it was a little cold, but I loved the feeling of walking in the drizzle, especially when I was in a very bad mood, and I was even willing to drench myself in the rain for a while.

It seems that I have masochistic tendencies.

The thought made me grin a little, and before it turned into a smile, I went back to my expressionless appearance.

I went back to my room, closed the window, and the bottle of mineral water I had just finished became my ashtray, and I filled it with a little water, and stuffed the ashes and cigarette butts into it.

In just a moment, the small bedroom was filled with smoke, and he tilted his head contentedly and inhaled a long lung of second-hand smoke through his nose, and his head, which was already heavy from cigarettes, became even more dizzy.

Lying on the bed softly, tears flowed involuntarily, ran down his cheeks, and finally fell on the pillow.

How nice it would be if I died......

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In the past two days, a few people have asked me for QQ, which has been changed in the profile, and is currently under review, and I will write it down here by the way. In addition, fattening without voting is unscientific and not magical.

1792170834【Bauhinia】