Li Xiaoxue looked at Zhong Youcheng's face, which was still a little deformed from fear, suspiciously, and asked, "Really, is it just a nightmare?" ”

Zhong Youcheng turned around, avoided Li Xiaoxue's gaze, and said in shock: "Yes, it's a nightmare, a very scary nightmare." ”

"So, what exactly are you dreaming about?" Li Xiaoxue turned to Zhong Youcheng's side again, stared at Zhong Youcheng's face again, and got to the bottom of it.

Zhong Youcheng tilted his face to the roof of the shed, a little impatient: "It's just a nightmare!" What do you ask? ”

Of course, Li Xiaoxue didn't just want to ask about this nightmare, she was worried about Cao Yingying's argument about "unwillingness" in Zhong Youcheng's body. She paid so much attention to Zhong Youcheng's face, as if she wanted to make some kind of diagnosis on Zhong Youcheng's face that she didn't actually want to make, and there were already some suspicious diagnoses in her heart.

After dating for so long, Li Xiaoxue only felt that Zhong Youcheng's personality was paranoid, but she never thought about whether this man was mentally normal.

If the paranoia in her personality can still be tolerated by her, the mental abnormality is terrifying for her to think about it.

Once, she had a neighbor who suffered from severe depression and showed signs of jumping off a building from time to time. Despite the fact that the family took turns to take care of them, there were still three or four suicide attempts.

In the end, one evening, in the middle of summer, Xiaoxue went downstairs to buy some things, and when she reached the second floor, she saw this neighbor standing at the window of the corridor.

"Auntie, where is the family?" Li Xiaoxue stepped forward and asked.

"At home? No one. The neighbor's voice was low and frightening.

Li Xiaoxue has never dared to look at her neighbors,—— she once went up the stairs, and the neighbor who went downstairs happened to have a face, the neighbor called the disease tortured to the same eyes as a dead fish, let her see, enough to make her have a nightmare for three nights,—— only to say to the neighbor: "Hurry up and go back to the house, after a while, it will be dark." ”

"It's good when it's dark, it's good when it's dark." The neighbor muttered, satisfied.

"Let's go back!" Li Xiaoxue smiled and persuaded again.

"You and your mother, are you alright?" The neighbor suddenly asked again.

"It's all good." Li Xiaoxue agreed, and then asked, "Do you want me to send you up?" ”

"You're busy. You're busy. The neighbor said and went upstairs by himself.

Li Xiaoxue stood in place, looked up at her neighbor and went up to the fourth floor before going down the stairs.

After walking out of the building door, she had only walked more than ten meters, and Li Xiaoxue suddenly heard a dull sound behind her.

"Poof—"

Li Xiaoxue, who immediately felt that something was wrong, turned around suddenly, and when the neighbor turned around suddenly, the neighbor had already posed a "big" word on all fours, lying on the ground, and the red blood soon flowed under the neighbor's body.

Li Xiaoxue was stunned for half a minute before she let out an exclamation from the inside out.

……

Although a few years have passed since the incident, every time she thinks about it inadvertently, Li Xiaoxue still feels a little self-blamed.

She had always felt that if she had really sent her neighbor home, the tragedy would not have happened at least that evening, and if she hadn't persuaded her neighbor to go upstairs, and if the neighbor had only jumped from the second floor, he might have only broken something and not killed him on the spot. But there is no if, what happens, a fait accompli.

She didn't want Zhong Youcheng to have any more accidents.

But before you know it, the nightmare becomes a reality.

Especially, this time, she has heard Van Gogh's name from other people's mouths more than once. She didn't know much about Van Gogh, but she also knew a little about how Van Gogh died.

She can't let Zhong Youcheng become the second Van Gogh, although she also knows that Van Gogh is such a great artist.

Of course, she also hopes that there will be artists like Van Gogh, but it should not be Zhong Youcheng.

Judging from Zhong Youcheng's nervous look at her face, she thought that this nightmare and her appearance always had an extraordinary relationship.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Zhong Youcheng expressed his incomprehension again.

"No, nothing." Li Xiaoxue said in a panic and smiled again, "I came over today and have something I want to tell you." ”

Zhong Youcheng finally relaxed a little in Li Xiaoxue's smile: "What's the matter?" ”

Li Xiaoxue then learned about the exhibition with Zhong Youcheng.

After listening to this, Zhong Youcheng smiled disdainfully: "What you said is just a little self-deception by those who seek fame and reputation." It's not like I've seen it. Get a few who are a little more famous, and what this director, that president, brag about it, the whole scene is fake, and it makes people sick. It's the last few paintings that were sold, I can't say it, there are still some greasy ones in them. ”

Li Xiaoxue also thought of this, but she still didn't doubt Zhong Youcheng's talent, things are man-made, others are selling fame, but we can be a show of talent, others also need some operations in the dark box, but we can be completely bright, we just need such an opportunity to show, so I persuaded Zhong Youcheng: "But, it can be regarded as putting your works in front of the world, it should be, it's also a good thing." ”

Zhong Youcheng disagreed: "What's the good thing? It's all overplayed! Those who are a little more discerning will know what kind of work is involved in this at a glance. When the time comes, I, Zhong Youcheng, will fall into a person who relies on crooked ways to achieve things, and I won't be able to lift my head! Good thing? ”

Li Xiaoxue also agrees with Zhong Youcheng's words, but if she doesn't do this, when will Zhong Youcheng's works be recognized?

"Really draw another Van Gogh ......" Cao Yingying's words sounded in Li Xiaoxue's ears again, and Li Xiaoxue's body couldn't help but tremble.

"What's wrong with you? The face is so ugly? Is there anything wrong with my words? Zhong Youcheng asked seriously.

Li Xiaoxue shook her head: "Zhong Youcheng, you are very right, but, I still hope you can try it." As long as we show the viewer our true talent, what form we use is always secondary. ”

"Xiaoxue, why can't I understand with you?" Zhong Youcheng said, with a look of chagrin, "I want to do it, and I want to hold an exhibition in the real sense!" I want the viewer to be truly moved by my paintings! I don't pay attention to the so-called celebrity reviews at all! What do they have? A true artist will never judge someone else's work! I also told you that no one has ever approached me for such an art exhibition, but I have experienced it several times when I was asked to publish a collection of paintings at my own expense. Even, some of them are sold partially. It's all a lie. Their purpose is just to make my money. Don't say that I don't have this part of the money yet, even if I do, I will never talk to them about it. Someday, I'll get those publishers to get paid to contract my work! ”

Someday. If there is, Li Xiaoxue really doesn't know how to suffer for this day.

"It's really hard to make money like this." Li Xiaoxue actually just secretly sighed, and she didn't know why, but she actually said it out of her mouth.

"Xiaoxue, what do you mean by that?" Zhong Youcheng looked at Li Xiaoxue painfully and asked.

When Li Xiaoxue saw Zhong Youcheng looking at herself like this, she realized that she had said something wrong, shook her head a few times, and said in a panic: "No, it's nothing." I just feel that in that case, I need to work harder. ”

"No!" Zhong Youcheng also shook his head and said, "That's not what you meant. Either you doubt my abilities and think I'm dreaming, or you just dislike me and see that I can't make money! ”

"Nope! No! Li Xiaoxue denied it again.

"Yes, yes!" Zhong Youcheng shouted again, "At least, you dislike me!" You've always wanted me to give up my dreams and get a job to earn some money so that your mom can look up to me. ”

"No, it's not." Li Xiaoxue said even more bitterly.

"To satisfy your mother," Zhong Youcheng continued, "I even got the cross-stitch." A man, cross-stitch? The way my boss looked at me at that time, I will never forget it in my life. It's not that I don't want to find a job, but, Xiaoxue, look at me like this, a bag of cement can crush me down. I can't do the work that I don't work with. Now, everyone who is a doorkeeper must have a diploma! What can I do? You want me to see immediate results and go out to make money, I really can't. I remember my teacher telling us that we should know how to build on our strengths and avoid our weaknesses. I, Zhong Youcheng, am not a person who does not measure myself, I know what I can do, what I should do, what I am not suitable for, and I can't do anything at all. My strength lies in my talent, and what I can achieve the most is my art. I also know that the road of oil painting lies with me, and it may still be a long time, but now, Xiaoxue, I can draw comics! As long as this time it happens, I can make money with my comics! ”

"But your comics ......" Li Xiaoxue said here, and stopped abruptly.

Zhong Youcheng was also stunned when Li Xiaoxue's words stopped, until the air condensed in silence for more than half a minute: "What's wrong with my comics?" I said, I'll get justice for my comics! And Xiaoxue, what do you mean, you still hate that I can't make money, right? ”

Li Xiaoxue's explanation was completely heartfelt: "No, I mean, I hope you can consider the art exhibition." I also know that this is not very legitimate, but it is very realistic. This is an era of hype, many people who don't look like they shouldn't succeed, through hype, they succeed, and many people who don't look like they shouldn't be on fire, through hype, are also on fire. The game is such a rule, only those who abide by the rules will not be eliminated. A person who is determined to achieve great things, sometimes, is even unscrupulous. I've heard the story of Han Shin's humiliation at the bottom of his crotch. In order to realize our ambitions, we should also lower our posture, just advertise ourselves, and try it, there is nothing bad about it......"

Zhong Youcheng didn't let Li Xiaoxue continue: "What is art? It is supreme! It can't be the slightest bit false, and it can't bow its head a little! Han Shin? I'll just say he has a straw bale! It's a man, and he can't be as lowly as he is! No matter what great achievements he makes, he has never been a role model! Besides, what is art? As far as the little thing he Han Xin is engaged in, how can it be compared to art? An artist can only be rich and noble, poor and not lewd. Only when the soul is clean can it be deeply moving. ”

This book was first published in Reading Book Worm