Cao Yingying is really right, he is really too high-minded. People can pursue their ideals and regard their favorite career as supreme, but shouldn't they be empty-minded because of this, right? A man who is about to get along with him day and night, it turns out that he doesn't know as much as an outsider. Li Xiaoxue thought so in her heart, and said seriously to Zhong Youcheng, "I have always respected your ideas, and I am even more happy that you can have such pride, but now, there are not just the two of us." If we consider any more issues, we will have to take another dimension. For the sake of our children, Zhong Youcheng, can't you make some concessions a little? ”

"Kid! Child! Zhong Youcheng screamed irritated more and more, "I said a long time ago, we are not suitable for any children!" ”

"But, she exists now!" Li Xiaoxue really wanted to tell Zhong Youcheng again, and it was because of this child that she made her concession and returned to Zhong Youcheng's side, but she didn't say it, she felt that saying such things at this time was simply a humiliation to herself.

"But it's just a piece of flesh without a human shape!" Zhong Youcheng only talked about this.

"Zhong Youcheng! What are you talking about? Li Xiaoxue shouted in disappointment, and the little girl in the dream appeared in front of her, "Do you know how much she has changed in my body every moment and every moment?" Do you know what a life means to the nurturing of a life? Do you know how much she wants to come into this world and compose the essence of life and death? ”

Listening to Li Xiaoxue's scolding like a few family treasures, Zhong Youcheng only looked helpless: "Xiaoxue, when you didn't have this child, you mentioned your mother all day long, and with this child, what you mentioned all day long was this child again."

"I won't say what position I Zhong Youcheng still occupies in your mind, have you ever thought about yourself?

"You take this into account, and you take into account that, how the child will see it in the future, or is it an unknown, this heart of yours, tell me yourself, does your mother ever understand?

"In addition to doing everything she can to think that you can live according to her arrangements and requirements, when did she take into account your feelings?

"People only have this life, and this life is only a handful of decades. Decades in this life, Xiaoxue, if you calculate it yourself, isn't it, about a third of the time has passed?

"This one-third of your life, except for these days with me Zhong Youcheng, can you really live a day for yourself?

"I'm not saying that you should only think about yourself, but you should always give yourself some space, right?

"But now, you haven't come out of your mother's influence, which has created new shackles for yourself.

"Many people say that I have empty dreams, that my heart is higher than the sky. I really don't believe that a person, especially at our age, can not have the sky that he wants to go to.

"Even if there is no brilliant rainbow, just a fleeting cloud, this piece of sky, you must always describe it sincerely.

"And Xiaoxue, what about your sky? Your sky is still just a blank, right?

In this way, when you are also old, do you think that you will really be willing to live this mediocre life?

"You won't be reconciled.

"You don't shake your head, don't deny it. In order for you to be convinced, let's not talk so far, just now.

"Yes, you've had a higher education and you've been in an enviable career, but have you ever been truly happy about it? When it comes to happiness, if it seems tall and empty, let's say happiness. Happiness, true happiness, do you have it?

"In fact, you have already had too much unwillingness, too much helplessness. You don't say it, just because you, like many people who lead others by the nose, have long learned to bear and bear silently.

You may not believe in fate, but you have fully recognized and accepted your present life.

"Your heart is no longer a little open, and you are all living in the grind.

"Xiaoxue, have you ever asked yourself, why are you suffering your life like this?"

"No, I've never felt any pain because of life itself." Li Xiaoxue resolutely denied it, and said very solemnly, "I think about children because I love them, I take care of my mother, and I love my mother." I can't ask you to treat my mother like I do, but the child is ours, and you should always love her as much as I do! ”

"But even if I wanted to, I don't have the time and energy right now! I felt like I had wasted a lot of time and energy on meaningless things. I feel the tension of my life all the time. My life is originally made up of art. Every minute and every second of mine should flow the lines of my life on the canvas! Zhong Youcheng said eloquently.

Li Xiaoxue seemed to bring out her rare sarcastic tone: "In that case, every line of you can only be as rigid as a machine!" You also say that you want others to worship your works, but without the baptism of life, what do you use to infect your viewers? ”

"My baptism, already in my childhood, was completed. My eagerness to express it made my hand holding the brush often tremble involuntarily. What I need is to travel light and be fully committed. I thought I would be fine with you to take care of my life, but now that we have a child, I ......, I really don't know how much time and energy I have to devote to it. ”

Li Xiaoxue asked sadly: "Isn't there already such a part in life?" Could it be that love is also seen by you as a burden? ”

Zhong Youcheng said resolutely: "At least when I am still climbing, I can't bear it." ”

"Good!" Li Xiaoxue seemed to put her sadness aside, looked at Zhong Youcheng, and raised her chin, "I thought I had a burden, didn't you?" Since you think so, I can let you have no baggage right now. ”

Zhong Youcheng, who was full of dreams and life, misunderstood Li Xiaoxue's meaning for a while, and his face was surprised: "Xiaoxue, you mean, can you not have this child?" ”

"No!" Li Xiaoxue has never said this word so fiercely, "I will never give up this life!" I can give you time, give you space, and leave with our children. You're going to pursue your art wholeheartedly! ”

Zhong Youcheng, who suddenly realized, hurriedly withdrew the surprise color that he might not have been aware of, and grabbed one of Li Xiaoxue's wrists to his chest: "You want to leave me again?" It was because of your mother, and this time for a child, you want to leave me again? ”

"It's not that I want to leave you, it's that you don't have me and the child in your heart at all. Why should I be bored with myself, along with the children, to be an eyesore! Li Xiaoxue said bitterly, and shook back the wrist that Zhong Youcheng was holding.

Zhong Youcheng used all the strength in his hands, and his heart was still uneasy: "You finally said what you wanted to say today, right?" You just wanted to get away from me, didn't you? ”

No matter how much Li Xiaoxue's wrist made Zhong Youcheng scratch the pain, it couldn't compare to the pain in her heart after all, two tears stubbornly held in her eyes, but she refused to flow out easily: "You must think so, I don't have any way." I can only do it with a clear heart, but I can't change you slightly. Please let me go, we don't need to be entangled like this anymore. You regard your art as your life, and in my life, it is this child that is most important to me now. This child seems to be dangling in front of my eyes every day. She has put my life on such a track that I can't turn around, let alone stop. ”

"Your track?" Zhong Youcheng shed tears first, "Is there no me?" ”

Li Xiaoxue suddenly felt that her eyes could no longer hold her tears, so she wanted to close her eyelids and close the door of crying, but the tears overflowed at the moment of closing her eyes, just to prevent Zhong Youcheng from seeing it, so she turned her face.

Zhong Youcheng, who didn't get Li Xiaoxue's verbal response, was sad: "Why don't you answer me? You know, I can't live without you. Why do you tug at my heart like this, and make me feel so painful? Xiaoxue, everything I do now is for you. Without you by my side, even if I still have a direction, I don't have the motivation to run. ”

This is another different Zhong Youcheng. is as real as the arrogant just now, in Li Xiaoxue's opinion, but it is already like two people.

Seeing no response from Li Xiaoxue, Zhong Youcheng grabbed the strength of Li Xiaoxue's wrist and softened a lot: "No matter what, I just don't want you to disappear from my life again." ”

At this time, Li Xiaoxue knew that easily, she could break free from Zhong Youcheng's hand, but somehow, this soft hand was clenched tighter than pliers, as if she was grabbing her, and she grabbed her tighter.

Or is it for the sake of the children?

After Zhong Youcheng shed a few more tears, he resolutely decided: "As long as you can stay, Xiaoxue, I will listen to you." ”

Faced with such a promise, Li Xiaoxue suddenly felt that she really shouldn't decide what Zhong Youcheng was.

Gently, Li Xiaoxue finally opened her mouth again: "Perhaps, we all need some time, calm down, and think about our affairs well." ”

"Do you want it?" Zhong Youcheng asked blankly.

Li Xiaoxue nodded.

"How much time does it take?" Zhong Youcheng asked again.

Li Xiaoxue said uncomfortably: "It takes time for us all to figure it out." ”

Zhong Youcheng was stunned again: "Then ...... you now"

"I might really have to get out of here for a while. Not because of the unpleasantness we just had, I also need to be away for a while. Li Xiaoxue said seriously.

Zhong Youcheng seemed to nod clearly, and asked with concern: "With whom?" Auntie? ”

Li Xiaoxue shook her head: "Maybe, and Jiajia, but I think, it's just me." ”

"Yourself?" Zhong Youcheng became a little nervous again, "Let me go with you." ”

Li Xiaoxue insisted: "I said it, I also want to take this opportunity to be quiet." ”

Zhong Youcheng said a little anxiously: "But I don't worry about you!" ”

Li Xiaoxue disagreed: "What's more?" It's just that you are alone, and you have to take good care of yourself. ”

"How so? Okay, how did this happen? Zhong Youcheng said with a sigh, from Li Xiaoxue's wrist, little by little, moved his hand to Li Xiaoxue's face, gently, twisted Li Xiaoxue's face, and said something that only he understood better, "I won't let you be hurt in any way." ”

Li Xiaoxue's head trembled involuntarily and gently, and her eyes were full of tears, but they closed even tighter.

This book was first published in Reading Rim