The weight of a piece of paper is more than a thousand catties.

Zhong Zizhen's hands were trembling, as if he couldn't bear the almost incalculable weight of this ordinary notebook paper, the handwriting as delicate as himself, and the smooth strokes seemed to tell that its owner was so fresh, obviously a thin piece of paper, but Zhong Zizhen felt overwhelmed.

Through these handwritings, he seemed to see that the young man with a shallow smile was sitting in front of the old writing desk in his room, writing these contents in the dim light, his hair would definitely be warm and clear reflected by the light, and his back must be as straight as a green pine, like a fine painting, attracting people's eyes, making people feel very comfortable at a glance.

Just like when he was still in college, sitting in the classroom was always the most eye-catching scenery.

Josh...... Zhong Zizhen's eyes blurred, something fell with a click, the notebook paper in his hand was crushed, and the water droplets gradually penetrated into the paper, making the ink blur unrecognizable, and the picture in his mind seemed to be blurred and yellowed because of this, how could it be?

It's、Just kidding, right? How can a book left by a runaway from home look like a suicide note? It's not funny at all - the thoughtful and reserved Josh can't do such a bad thing, right?

I thought so, but the tingling in my throat grew stronger, and my breathing became more and more burning and difficult. Zhong Zizhen wanted to smile and tell Zhong Liwu and Du Yiming, who were unkept and depressed, that this could not be true, but the clouds had already gathered, and Mount Tai had long been pressed on his heart.

More and more water droplets rushed out, and Zhong Zizhen realized how terrible it was to understand a person-

Josh would never do such a thing to make fun of other people's sadness, Josh hates pranks, as it is written in his letter, and if he can read it, it must be a relief for him.

Liberation, what is liberation? A humble suicide note that looks like an apology letter? Zhong Zizhen felt a pain in his heart for a while, the letter was so plain, he downplayed everything, all the guilt turned into a sentence of sorry, turned into a sentence of self-talk that is not worthy of forgiveness, and does not expect to be forgiven-Zhong Zizhen didn't even dare to imagine what kind of mood Josh wrote this letter with.

And along the way, what is Josh's mood, the struggle that can't see the dawn, walking on the border of hell with no end, a person carrying everything, is it a long time ago, he has long been out of breath, persevering, smiling at them, is not, every doubt he has, every act of refusal, every surging killing machine, is pushing Josh into the abyss. So that Josh can't see any hope, waiting for such a "relief"?

But.

Josh.

You're too selfish.

Who allowed you to escape with death under the pretext of liberation?! Zhong Zizhen grabbed the edge of the paper fiercely, each finger bone was painful because of the excessive force, but he didn't react, just opened his eyes mechanically, trying to see the black and white words in front of him, his eyes were red and painful with anger, and he couldn't help but tremble-

You are so selfish! You coward! Since you know that you are wrong, you can't do more for your mistakes, instead of privately thinking that you can't be forgiven, you don't want to face it, and you privately condemn yourself? Josh, you let me down so much, you think I'll forgive you by leaving such a letter?

Tell you – no way! Forever!

Obviously, obviously I'm going to let go, I'm going to forgive you, why can't you hold on a little longer? Josh! Who allowed you to leave? Who gave you permission to leave—didn't you ask for forgiveness? How can you close your eyes without hearing my answer in person?

Zhong Zizhen laughed miserably and shook his head violently, no, he didn't believe it! There's no way Josh is dead!

"Bang-" The huge slamming sound of the door seemed to shake the whole house, but in the blink of an eye, the room was already empty, only the suicide note slowly fell to the ground, and the wooden door that was still shaking, no one cared, only the sound of rapid and rapid footsteps came, the farther it was.

Shi Yang was startled by Zhong Zizhen who suddenly rushed over, he was going downstairs with a large basin of dirty water with thin red, seeing this, he hurriedly took a step to the side, but the wind blowing on his face still made him squint, and at the end of the corridor on the second floor was Josh's room, he glanced back, and there was a heaviness on his face that could not be dissolved.

Josh's departure was a big blow to everyone, and he knew it.

It's not the first time he's faced the cruelty of the end times, his partner has died in front of him, and it's not the first time he's seen it, on the way south from his hometown to the base, he's seen too much death, and he's seen too much human ugliness, and this kind of life has made him indifferent, so that if someone dies in front of him now, he can even have no waves. He thought he was used to it.

But today he learned that it was different.

Looking at his partners who were still fighting side by side with him yesterday, the feeling of lying on the bed so cold was really overwhelming. He still remembers the first time he saw Josh, it was not a happy occasion, he could only hide his embarrassment and embarrassment with a smile, he never said, how much he longed and envied Josh, his clear eyes and the maintenance and respect of his teammates all showed that Josh was a ...... Uncontaminated people.

Originally, he thought that he would instinctively dislike such a person, but isn't his dirtiness obvious in comparison? But after contacting it, I realized that it was not. Josh is the one who makes him feel comfortable, Josh looks at him, there is no feeling he imagined, like water, indifferent but all-inclusive. After getting along with him, I realized that it was too difficult to dislike Josh, he was not a little flower who was protected, he was calm and wise, bold but careful, he clearly felt the cruelty of the end times, but magically maintained the share before the end of the world...... Normal and calm. Isn't it normal for such a person to be guarded by a knight like Zhong Liwu?

He still remembers Josh's smile, not so bright, but always warm and bright.

Shi Yang even once thought that Josh was a beautiful gift left in the last days, but now, such Josh was finally deprived of his life by the cruel end times. He is the youngest member of the team, and he feels indescribable heartache, not to mention Brother Du and them?

At this time, the language is so pale that he can't say a word, he doesn't dare to speak, he can only do some small things in silence, but people always have to look forward in life, just like time, it will not stop because a person is gone. Now, let him leave his time to those three people.

***

Zhong Zizhen slammed open the wooden door, with so much force that the wooden door that was still strong made a "squeak" moan, the small room had little furniture, a single bed, a writing desk under the window, two chairs, and almost nothing else.

Glance. The two tall men next to the bed made Josh's single bed look particularly crowded, Du Yiming sat on the edge of the bed and let Josh lie on his back on his legs, holding Josh's body with both hands, Zhong Liwu stood in front of the bed, wrapping Josh's hair with a clean towel, and it could be seen that the two should have just finished washing Josh's hair and were letting Josh sit up and dry it.

He looks good. The skin is porcelain white, and even reflects a dewy sheen, and the lip color is a little lighter, but a little bit of powder can be seen, with those ...... It's fundamentally different. With his eyes closed, his long eyelashes like a small fan, lying quietly on his lower eyelids, wearing a white shirt, lining him young and innocent, typical of the young college student who provoked the flood of female motherhood.

Zhong Zizhen gasped heavily, he took one step at a time, each step seemed to use all his strength, but he walked to the bed, such a short distance, but Zhong Zizhen was physically and mentally exhausted, his shoulders, why was it so heavy.

After a few breaths, Zhong Zizhen stood in front of Josh's bed.

Zhong Liwu glanced at him, and there was some surprise in his eyes - his brother had always been very unkind to Josh, and even a little defensive, and now that Josh was gone, he thought it was ...... Why, does his brother look even sadder than he does? Zhong Liwu thought, his eyes were wet again, obviously he was fine before leaving, who would have thought that this would happen......

Fingers trembled, Zhong Liwu shrugged his shoulders, let out a very small gasp, a tear fell on the green towel, stained with a wet mark as big as a five-cent coin, Zhong Liwu hurriedly lowered his head and rubbed his arm, and the hand holding the towel moved gently.

The letter was written to "Brother Zizhen", and others naturally would not open it and would not know the contents.

The towel in Zhong Liwu's hand was held by Zhong Zizhen, Zhong Liwu let go of his hand obediently, and he was so uncomfortable that he almost couldn't breathe. Josh only left a letter for his brother in the end, and for sure, it was different for his brother...... He's really about to be unable to face it, cold Josh, cold stinging Josh! Taking two steps to the side, Zhong Liwu turned his head, not wanting others to see his wanton tears.

Zhong Zizhen held the soft towel, and his eyes began to hurt again, making his eyes almost red, he slammed the towel on the ground, and gave Josh a slap with his backhand, with a crisp snap, and before everyone could react, they were nailed to the spot by Zhong Zizhen's next action.

"Who allowed you to die! Who let you die?! Josh! The hoarse voice that was almost like a roar, pinching Josh's shoulders, Zhong Zizhen's expression was distorted, and tears flowed from his eyes, "Who convicted you?" I'm the one who can decide if you're guilty or not! Do you think you're forgiving your sins? You're paying off everything when you die like this? You're freeing your soul like this? No, I don't accept it, I don't accept it! ”

"Wake up! Wake me up! Say I'm sorry in person! Zhong Zizhen finally couldn't help but hold Josh tightly in his arms - he said sorry in person! I'll forgive you!

Instead of this, he bore the sins of his own deeds unto death.

Not to die for the forgiveness of sins! Wake up! I've forgiven you!

Zhong Zizhen tasted the taste of regret for the second time, and the rust in his mouth was so strong, as if he was lying on the ground and watching "Josh" stand next to Qiao Quan, telling all the conspiracies at the beginning. Wake up, no matter what, come back to life...... I'm the one who should say I'm sorry...... Wake up, I apologize.

Please, wake up. Holding Josh, Zhong Zizhen slowly knelt in front of the bed.

The dead will never have an answer.

Zhong Liwu looked at such a scene, reached out to cover his mouth, blocked all the whimpering in his chest, and pressed his forehead against the wall, that little coolness seemed to be conveyed to the bottom of his heart......

Already, will not come back.

Silence spreads like a plague. 166 Reading Network