Yan Zi is a homosexual, he has a slight autism, he was born in a single-parent family, his mother died early, his father was an alcoholic, and later suffered from depression, perhaps because of the hardships of his early life, coupled with autism, so the subject matter of his films is very different from others.

"Ash" is one such movie.

Even though this movie died tragically before it was released, Yan Zi believes that this is the most satisfying of his works.

Many people say that this movie is actually a portrayal of Yan Zi's own life.

It starred the famous actor Yu Jinghe, after filming this movie, Yu Jinghe died unexpectedly, and Yan Zi was even more reluctant to make this movie public.

This is a very dark movie.

The opening scene is a black and white world, with only a blue butterfly floating in the frame.

The butterfly stays in a pair of hands, and the camera slowly zooms in, which are the hands of a young man.

The hands were slender and skeletal, and the butterfly was in his hands, and then it left him.

The background music sounded at the right time, but it was a very monotonous piano sound.

Linnaeus didn't see any way.

There was a knock at the door.

Linnaeus thought to himself, let's watch it next time I have time.

She put her phone away and opened the door.

Outside the door was Pei Jiahe, and the makeup artist and stylist also came.

Seeing that Linnaeus was already waiting, the makeup artist and stylist were embarrassed and immediately started working.

By the time she finished styling and went out, Ling Yijing was already taking a solo photo of himself.

Pei Jiahe looked around and asked in a low voice, "What about Director Cen?" ”

"Oh, she's back."

Pei Jiahe seemed to be relieved, it seemed that she was really afraid to stay with Cen Ruxi.

She whispered, "You know what? ”

Linnaeus: "...... I do not know. ”

Pei Jiahe: "......"

"You don't tell me how I know." Linnaeus was very innocent.

Pei Jiahe rolled his eyes silently: "Do you know, Qin Chuan wants to make a new film, and the script has been determined, it is a martial arts film, and he has already released a message on Weibo that he wants to find you to be the heroine." ”

Linnaeus: "Oh, I know this, don't you already know about it?" ”

Pei Jiahe: "He didn't communicate with us at all!" Just decide the actress without permission! ”

Linnaeus: "......"

Pei Jiahe: "This is really good, this proves that Qin Chuan trusts you very much, you are college classmates, right, it's really good!" Linnaeus: I feel that you will definitely be able to win a queen with the movie Qin Chuan. ”

Linnaeus held his forehead: "Qin Chuan is not an immortal. ”

"Don't be discouraged, the possibility is still very high," Pei Jiahe patted Linnaeus on the shoulder, "I'll go to Qin Chuan to talk about a film appointment in a while." ”

Linnaeus nodded.

In just a few minutes, Ling Yijing had finished filming, and Linnaeus went up to prepare for filming.

"Miss Lin," Ling Yijing smiled at Lin Naeus, "I have already received the film, thank you very much." ”

Linnaeus waved his hand, "Actually, it was Gu Hai's blue hair, I didn't do anything." ”

Ling Yijing smiled, "Then Miss Lin, have you seen the movie?" ”

Linnaeus frowned: "I've only watched a little, and I haven't finished reading ...... yet"

"Yes," Ling Yijing laughed again, "You should take a look at it, it will be of great help to you." ”

At that moment, Linnaeus felt that Ling Yijing's expression seemed to be very strange.

"What ......"

Ling Yijing hooked his lips and smiled, leaned over, and whispered in Linnaeus's ear: "You will get what you want, in this movie." ”

Suddenly, he straightened up again and asked, "Miss Lin, do you remember Yu Jinghe?" ”

Linnaeus nodded.

He and Yu Jinghe have filmed together, and they must be remembered.

Ling Yijing laughed: "You asked him for an important thing, now, in this movie, you will see his promise." ”

Linnaeus was completely stunned, she didn't know what Ling Yijing was talking about, "You ......"

Yu Jinghe's impression on her was too shallow.

Yu Jinghe became famous as a teenager, and his star journey was smooth, and like Linnaeus, he was the youngest actor at the Golden Palm Awards, but he had a bad fate, and died in a car accident when his career was the most successful, and like the music superstar Chu Tianyin, he became a defect in the entertainment industry.

Linnaeus felt that Yu Jinghe was very far away from her, and she couldn't figure out what entanglement she had with Yu Jinghe.

"I'll see." That's all she can say.

Ling Yijing smiled: "Fulfill the promise to you, then Yu Jinghe's lifelong wish will be fulfilled." ”

At that moment, Linnaeus felt that the expression of the young man in front of him seemed to overlap with someone in his memory.

But who that person was, Linnaeus had no impression at all.

The costume used for filming is the costume, a very simple black vest and white shorts, and when filming the second set, the director asked Linnaeus to change his makeup, and interestingly, the makeup artist painted Linnaeus a smoky makeup.

"It's like the first time I've ever worn this kind of makeup in a play." Linnaeus looked into the small mirror.

Pei Jiahe looked at Linnaeus and shook his head: "You seem to have painted before, don't you remember?" ”

Linnaeus frowned slightly.

Pei Jiahe explained: "Have you forgotten? In the past, when you participated in a Golden Deer Award or something, you were smoky makeup, and at that time, many people on the Internet said that you were not suitable - well, but now this is super suitable, and it seems that it is still a problem for makeup artists. ”

When she said this, she made the makeup artists laugh.

The makeup artist said: "It's not a matter of makeup skills, Linnaeus has lost a lot of weight now, there is no flesh on his face, and if the bones are prominent, it is more suitable." ”

Did she lose a lot of weight?

She always thought that this was a natural change in growth, and that her body would naturally lose weight after it was completely matured, but she didn't expect that there was a turning point in it?

She looked at herself in the mirror carefully - pointed chin, deep eye sockets, cheekbones were a little prominent, there was no flesh on her cheeks, and she did look a little thin.

When I was in middle school before, some people said that Linnaeus was sweet and cute.

Now she looks at her face without any sweet and cute feeling at all.

Completely a mature woman's face.

"But Linnaeus," said the makeup artist again, "how did you lose so much weight all of a sudden, I was so envious, it wouldn't be diet pills." ”

Pei Jiahe shook his head: "It's not good to be thin like that, it's a little scary, I feel better now." ”

The makeup artist nodded, "Yes, that's scary." ”

Linnaeus was puzzled, what did she mean, so she seemed to have lost a lot of weight suddenly?

But she didn't have time to think about it, so she was called up to shoot.

This set of photos was soon posted on Weibo, and Pei Jiahe asked Linnaeus to forward it as usual.

The photos are very good-looking, with a psychedelic atmosphere, which complements Han Wei's films.

Linnaeus looked at it for a while, and she didn't know if it was the reason for the post-retouching or the makeup, she always felt that this kind of makeup was a little unfamiliar to herself.

And she didn't forget Ling Yijing's words.

Yu Jinghe's promise?

And what do you want?

What do I want? Linnaeus asked himself.

Almost all at once, she thought of what Sormine had told her.

She also said that one day she would get what she wanted.

Linnaeus clicks on the video.

"What do I want, why don't I know ...... myself"

As soon as she turned on the video, the video played automatically according to the last browsing history.

According to the life account of director Yan Zi on the Internet, Linnaeus found that this boring movie did reflect Yan Zi's life.

Yu Jinghe deserves to be the youngest actor, and he fully expressed this character.

And Linnaeus's performance in this is not inferior to Yu Jinghe at all.

This is a very superb movie, and the youngest actor and actress play the perfect role in the film.

Linnaeus plays Yu Jinghe's younger sister, a schizophrenic who went crazy when she saw her mother hanging naked in the kitchen as a child, and unlike her autistic brother, her madness seems to be the same as her father's.

At night, the drunken father would indifferently watch his sister harm herself, he was so drunk that after his wife's death, he couldn't even tell the difference between day and night, which was his wife and daughter.

After her sister was raped by her biological father, she cut her arm with a blade without feeling pain.

But she won't die.

After she was injured, her brother would clean her wounds and bandage her.

Such days repeat themselves monotonously, over and over again.

For them, home is like a broken cage.

Everyone is living in despair.

It's like the butterfly at the beginning of the film, which may bring a little color, but then dissipates immediately.

Linnaeus in the film is skinny, her limbs are slender, Yu Jinghe encircles her in his arms, he has no way to save her sister, she has lost too much blood, and the wound is already very infected.

He may have thought about taking her to the hospital, but he couldn't get out of that house.

Maybe death is a relief for my sister.

It was a feeling of despair, and even if you weren't in the shoot, you would feel like you were having trouble breathing just because of the oppressive, almost silent sound.

Yu Jinghe raised his head and looked at the camera.

It was a pair of cold eyes.

Linnaeus looked at those eyes, as if all memories were coming back.

That chill pervades the whole body, that feeling of despair.

Linnaeus took a deep breath.

She couldn't control the shock in her heart, and she understood why the film couldn't be released, it couldn't pass the review at all.

If someone with a shadow in their heart sees it, they will be unable to extricate themselves from drowning in despair.

She remembered that when she wanted to take on this movie, Shen Yi was strongly opposed.

But Yan Zi looked for her many times and thought that she was very suitable for this role.

His exact words were: "You have a sad temperament in you, and I think you are very suitable for this role." ”

At that time, all the discussions were harmonious, and my state was not bad enough.

And after filming, Yan Zi told her: "Linnaeus, the most wrong decision I have made in my life is to invite you to participate in this movie." ”

"Linnaeus, I ruined you."

Linnaeus looked at the screen, and Yu Jinghe's eyes without temperature were frozen in the picture.

Linnaeus wiped his face, and his face was full of tears.

She trembled and said, "...... It's not you, it's me, who ruined myself with my own hands. ”