Chapter 1: Run away! (a)

I heard that Xi Xiaoyu is a faint king, a straw bag dog emperor who is absurd and immoral, and she can barely accept the word straw bag, but the absurd and immoral adjective makes Zhi faint and the eight-character adjective really wronged her.

The sky can be seen, the sun and the moon can shine, Xi Xiaoyu dreamed of sitting on the eight-character proverb that the people gave to me!

Long night, the moon is white and the wind is clear, according to normal logic, at this time, which emperor is not hugging the warm fragrant nephrite left and right, living happily in the middle of the night.

And she, the emperor who was scolded as a dog by the people of Limin, moved a stool to sit in the thatched house at the moment with her cheeks raised, and looked up at the starry sky at a 45-degree sad angle, such a beautiful day, but she lamented the loneliness, emptiness and coldness in the stinky thatched hut to the lonely moon, and she had three thousand beautiful men in the harem in vain, but she could only see it but not eat it, and I felt bitter in my heart.

"陛xià陛xià! Oh no, no, no! Dressed in a sapphire blue embroidered crane robe, holding a whisk in his hand, and wearing a peacock feather top jeweled hat, the white-faced little eunuch Xiao Xizi ran in a trance, he gasped and approached the sad and uncontrollable dog emperor, and shouted in horror, "Your Majesty, something is wrong!" ”

Xi Xiaoyu slammed the chestnut over, "Your Majesty, call me the Queen!" ”

Xiao Xizi urgently shouted: "Run, your harem beauties and three thousand beautiful men's group are looking for you crying and shouting to sleep!" They'll be here in a minute, so let's run! ”

Xi Xiaoyu's legs shook, "Isn't it?" I've all hid in the hut, and they can still find it, are their noses made of dog noses? ”

"There's no time to grind down, let's run!" Xiao Xizi was sweating profusely, and he didn't care about etiquette, so he pulled Xi Xiaoyu's sleeve and ran.

The sky did not follow people's wishes, the two did not run far, a large group of beautiful men of all kinds of flowers and branches showed their manners, and the places they passed all raised dust sprinkled in the sky, and they excitedly raised their small handkerchiefs as they ran, and shouted in great order:

"陛xià陛xià, please let us help you give birth to a monkey!"

The deafening sound and loud footsteps made the entire palace tremble, three thousand beautiful men and three thousand chaos.

The palace will stage such a farce every night, this is not Xi Yu has any special strange habits, she has been on the throne for two years, has been the emperor for five years so far, and is now twenty-five years old, it is the age when women are like wolves and tigers, she is not cold, she will drool at the three thousand beautiful men who are like flowers and jade every day, and she wants to eat them in her dreams.

Not to mention pampering them, she hasn't even done anything like touching her little hand and kissing her mouth, it's not that she doesn't want to do it, but she can't do it. Yes, she was still a twenty-five old virgin.

After talking for a long time, I forgot to tell you that this emperor is cursed. It is said that the first eighteen generations of her ancestors offended a vicious sorcerer, and he put a perverted and vicious curse on the eighteen generations of her later ancestors, whether male or female, as long as they are over ten years old, males cannot touch females, and females cannot touch males.

So, Xi Xiaoyu, who happened to be in the eighteenth generation, was also shot while lying down.

So, after the age of ten, once Xi Xiaoyu meets a male, she will become a cat.

She really didn't know how much resentment the wizard had for the eighteenth generation?

My heart is bitter.

It took a lot of effort to get rid of the sweet trouble of three thousand beautiful men, and the dog emperor, whose hair was disheveled by the wind, said that he was very unhappy.

Xi Xiaoyu hooked her little hand towards her exclusive dog's legs, "Xiao Xizi, don't come over and let me touch it twice!" ”

Xiao Xizi cried with a sad face, "Why do you keep touching me?" ”

Xi Xiaoyu glanced at him, "Who told you to look like a man but have no manly function?" I can't touch men, I can only touch you. ”

Kiko Ko:

Xiao Xizi, who is always touched by the dissatisfied dog emperor, is broken in his heart, the eunuch is also disciplined and dignified, the rich and noble cannot be lewd, he can't succumb to the emperor's obscenity, he wants to resist, he wants to say no loudly!

"No" Kiko just opened a syllable.

"I remember that the head of internal affairs, Father-in-law Gao, seems to have retired from the palace last month, and the position of head of internal affairs is still vacant." Xi Xiaoyu sat on the dragon bed, crossed Erlang's legs, and touched the jade wrench on his thumb with an evil face.

"Come on!" Xiao Xizi was immediately deflated, and ran over with a smile on her face, giving her little hand to the Dog Emperor with a smile on her face, "Please enjoy." ”

At this time, the young historian who had been standing on the side of the dragon bed as a mural in a dark official uniform buried his head in the green book and wrote it down quickly with a pen and read it out: "Emperor Daliang □□ smoked his heart and didn't even let go of the eunuchs, it was really a big dirty pen of Daliang!" ”

Xi Xiaoyu's vigorous hand stopped suddenly, and said with a dark face, "Fu Weiren, you are blind, I seem to be such a hungry person!" ”

The young historian lifted the handsome face like jade from the green book, and he said seriously: "Like." ”

"Like your uncle, tell you to scribble and smear the image of my wise and martial arts again!" The emperor is so majestic, and there is no one else.

At this moment, standing on the other side of the dragon bed, he clasped his fists with a sunny and heroic man in a dark official uniform and persuaded him step by step:

"Your Majesty, Weichen is a counselor, even if he is loyal, Weichen has to risk his life to admonish, what Fu Shiguan does is straightforward, not to hide his flaws, you can't beat him because he said the truth, this is immoral."

Xi Xiaoyu was already angry, and she immediately shifted her target, "You also say that you are a lowly minister, then talk less and do more." ”

When he had stepped on enough, Xi Xiaoyu pretended to be fierce and pointed at the historian Fu Weiren, "You are a little face, God only knows how to write and write behind my ass, and specialize in distorting the facts, don't think that you are a historian."

Her Qianqianyu hand pointed at Shen Yan's nose and scolded, "You little attacker, God only knows how to talk in front of my ass, and you will only open your mouth and close your mouth to say bad things about me, and always talk about your ministers, for fear that others will not know that you are cheap."

"And you!" Xi Xiaoyu pointed to the trembling little Xizi with great momentum.

"The minion didn't write it, and he didn't say it." Kiko Kokiko's innocent face.

Xi Xiaoyu glared, "You can't be personnel!" ”

Burst! Kiko was inexplicably hit by an arrow in her knee.

"I've asked you to find a way to break the curse, but it's been a few years, and there is still a shadow of a bird! The three of you are only going to block me all day long. Knowing that I can't touch men, I have to face you every day, and you all look like dogs, which makes my heart itch. You say, "What do I want you to do?" ”

Fu Weiren & Shen Yan & Xiao Xizi: Blame me.

"That, Queen," Kiko said weakly.

It was a burst of chestnuts again, "What kind of king is the woman, it's called My Majesty." ”

Xiao Xizi noodles wide tears: What's the trouble?

He is a graceful eunuch, and he will not be more serious with the dog emperor who does not play cards according to common sense, and he bends down respectfully and says:

"On the night of your 10th birthday, the National Teacher predicted that on your 25th birthday, something would happen that would change your life. Could it be about your curse? The National Teacher has great powers, maybe there is a way to help you break the curse? ”

"That's right, why did I forget that there is also a beautiful national teacher."

Xi Xiaoyu's eyes shone brightly, she waved her cloud sleeves, and said arrogantly: "Swing the National Teacher's Mansion."

Shen Yan poured cold water on the minister, "Weichen dares to risk death to admonish each other, the queen mother will not allow you to leave the palace." ”

He persuaded bitterly: "If you sneak out of the palace and are discovered, it will damage your suave and stunning image, the national prestige will be affected, the people will be disappointed in Daliang, the villains will take the opportunity to revolt, Daliang will wither, and you will become a sinner who is spurned by everyone for the ages!" ”

"Shen Yan, you rebellious dead, you curse me to death, you still don't think I have enough curses!" She thought for a while, and then said: "I am a talented and talented person, and I know how to sneak out of the palace, how can I be like you useless things!" Three words, dig a tunnel! ”

"But how can you dig out a tunnel in a short period of time, not to mention that the palace is so big, it can't be dug up in three or fifty months." Xiao Xizi said truthfully.

Shen Yan said under the risk of being brutally abused by the Dog Emperor again: "Weichen admonished again, don't dig up, first, to work the people and lose money, second, to spend time and effort, and to have a large number of people, the goal is big, prepare for the Queen Mother to find out, and when the time comes, Your Majesty will inevitably be scolded again." ”

"Who said I wanted a lot of people to dig tunnels?" Xi Xiaoyu smiled strangely at Shen Yan, "Shen Aiqing is so worried about the country and the people, the time-consuming and laborious task of digging tunnels will be handed over to you, I believe you will not let me down." You are the only one digging the tunnel, yes, how could the Queen Mother find out? ”

"As a minister, Wei Chen should follow His Majesty all the time, supervise and persuade His Majesty," Shen Yan was ready to resist stubbornly.

However:

"Xiao Xizi, what is the end of disrespect." The Dog Emperor gently stroked the jade wrench on his thumb.

"Hui Majesty, it's the Nine Clans." Kiko replied.

Shen Yan suddenly knelt on one leg and clenched his fists, with a heroic expression, "The minister must live up to His Majesty's trust, and go to the soup to fight the fire and die!" ”

"I've heard that a mysterious team leaves the palace every morning, and all we need to do is try to blend in with that team!"

Xi Xiaoyu was high-spirited, and she began to tell the future, "Xiao Xizi stays, if the queen mother comes to me, you tell her that I had insomnia last night and fell asleep at dawn, and she will leave." ”

The next day.

Behind the marble pillars were three sneaky men in royal blue eunuch suits, all of whom were of superior appearance, as they peeked into a long procession of eunuchs wearing white masks and carrying night incense barrels walking through the main entrance of the palace.

"Your Majesty, the mysterious team you are talking about can't be this group of people who pour night incense, right?" Shen Yan's jaw dropped in shock.

"That's right, you two are quick to praise me for being smart." Xi Xiaoyu pinched her waist with both hands and was triumphant.

"Your Majesty, Weichen risked death to admonish, don't do it! You are the honor of the Ninety-Five, how can you deign to pour the night incense, Your Majesty, please think twice! ”

Except for the historian Fu Weiren, who would only speak when writing history books, he lowered his head and worked hard to write, "Emperor Daliang is too shameless, and it is a shame for Daliang to pour night incense in order to sneak out of the palace!" ”

Xi Xiaoyu didn't care, "The big husband can bend and stretch, and those who become big things are not informal, and Han Xin has also drilled others down!" ”

Fu Weiren wrote again, "Emperor Daliang is stubborn and does not listen to advice, and he has no shame, ahh ”

The dog emperor threw them masks, "The opportunity is here, don't talk nonsense, put on a mask, carry a night incense barrel, let's go!" ”

The three of them entered the line along the way.

"Hey, brother, you cut the queue even for such a drudgery as pouring night incense?" Some eunuchs were puzzled.

Xi Xiaoyu pretended to be deep: "My slogan is to serve the public and be happy with you, me and him." ”

Other people's emperors are not eight sedan chairs when they leave the palace, but she wants to pour night incense, and I feel bitter.

After a lot of twists and turns, he finally got out of the palace.

The three of them found a hidden alley and took off the eunuch clothes that were in the way, and the three personable and extraordinary sons of the turbid world were freshly baked.

The last time she left the palace, she was still the prince, after five or six years, this time as the son of heaven. The feeling of going out of the palace is not too good.

"Two Aiqing lead the way!" The Dog Emperor will only affectionately call Aiqing when he is in a very good or bad mood, and he will immediately see the beautiful national teacher who has been coveted for fifteen years, and her mood is not too good.

"Shen Jichen, please! & Fu Shiguan please! ”

"You don't know where the National Teacher's Mansion is? & You don't know where the National Teacher's Mansion is? ”

The two big farts are in unison.

The Dog Emperor stared at them secretly, "Would you please go and die?" ”