Into a Dream (Su Meilin)

Inscription: I feel like I'm sick, there's no cure, no one has found out, only I know about it.

It's a scary feeling, what is scary? What is happiness? What is happy? I would love to experience the real feelings that come from the body itself, but I don't, and no matter what happens, my mind is always higher than what I feel. After checking the score of the college entrance examination, before checking the score, thinking about the mood of your three situations, happy with the high score and disappointed with the low score, you are generally not happy or sad, so when the score is not bad, put the expected happiness on it, so is this happy? I do not know.

I really wanted to stimulate myself, to feel that real interest, I tried the pain, that feeling almost fascinated me, it made me feel like I belonged to the real life in this world, I wasn't completely numb, I wasn't completely devoid of feelings, I was a living person.

When did I become such a terrifying person?

It's when my father returned to the family and loved me so much! I regret it because I don't feel any joy from the bottom of my heart, so why did I spend so much time trying to pull him back from another woman? Even I feel that everything is false. Mom always secretly pulls on Dad's clothes, hiding something, she thinks I don't know, but I know it. My brother always sighed at something, and he thought I didn't know, but I knew it very well.

In fact, many times, I feel that life is a very boring problem in the first place. Do I hate Song Yaxian? I don't hate it that much, but I like the kind of emotions that make me feel emotionally upset, I like to see her look of disappointment or pain, and I find her, and she can give me a reasonable reason, because I can't target someone for no reason.

The older I get, the more I envy my childhood, at least at that time, I know what happiness is.

When was the first time you were moved? It's because of Ji Chuange, maybe he will never know that he was so innocent in my heart, but that's the truth, how can he still be willing to be with me after knowing what I did? I think I'm dirty, dirty that can't be washed off with anything.

Later, I worked, and I looked at the □□ people around me. I know what they think of me, who is simple and who is scheming, I can see almost at a glance, who I do things for, who I will take for granted, who will be grateful, I know all of them. I feel bored, very boring, so boring that some people's confessions don't feel it, because at a glance I can understand how this person treats me, is it sincere, or fake, playing with it or for my face?

Until one day, Shen Yi'an appeared in my life, and he helped me a lot. I've been wondering if he thought I would be grateful to him, but did he think I really thought in my heart — do you think I'll be grateful? I won't.

He was very nice to me, really nice.

Unfortunately, in my eyes, everyone is good to the other and has a purpose, in other words, for some kind of good. Maybe it's money, maybe it's fame, maybe it's status, maybe it's for this face...... He's been playing for a long time, and I'm curious, why doesn't he feel tired, he should show the real reason, right? But it's really funny, I'm looking forward to it, and it can make my mood ripple after ripple.

I promised him to fall in love, and I enjoyed his kindness to me, a kind of enjoyment from a stranger. At this time, I should pretend to be a little woman, attach to him, care for him, and fall in love. I know, I'm looking forward to this emotion, love, love, feelings that can make people obsessed, is this kind of emotion?

Gray found me, and Ji Chuange also found me. What should I do, who should I tell to, I am looking forward to this emotion, it is best that Shen Yi'an can get rid of me fiercely, let me experience it, will I die or live for him? Will I live or die?

When the engagement, he did not come. I was thrilled because I finally experienced that feeling of blood boiling in my body, and I finally hated someone so much. I must be a bad person, if I have the right, I will definitely ignore morality and the law, let Shen Yi'an lose everything he cares about, and press his arrogant head down. It's a shame I didn't have this opportunity.

My mind is always faster than my physical feelings, and I have not fully experienced the feeling of being left behind, but I have already quickly thought about what I should do. If I tell you that I don't care at all, I don't care about the child in my belly, I don't care about my brother, I don't care about my parents, will I think I'm cold-blooded, what to do, I really don't care. But I have to care, only when I care can I call people, there are three emotions and six desires, so I went to find Ji Chuange.

Before looking for Ji Chuange, I knew that he would promise me because his eyes betrayed him. However, I can only show apprehension, because people who are too confident will be disgusted. In the end, he agreed, and even offered to raise my child, and I found it boring again. What the hell does he like about me? It's just this face?

After the engagement, I saw Shen Yi'an for the first time, and I was a little excited later, and deliberately behaved intimately with Ji Chuange. Shen Yi'an is really in a bad mood because of this, it is really a man's inferior nature, and even Shen Yi'an has become boring, which is really not fun.

It's like a backwater life again, although it's boring, but I know that Ji Chuange is a good place for me.

Something happened to the Ji family, Ji Chuange decisively gave up on me, he wouldn't know, he gave up on me, and finally let me look up a few times, it's good, he hasn't become a vulgar man who only knows love, it's good, he's still rational enough.

It's a pity that Shen Yi'an has become so boring, he knows him too well, and his eyes completely betray him. Let me go back to him because of the child? He wouldn't have known that I had left the child and waited for the day, although the thought didn't have much on my mind.

Is it because Song Yaxian has lost her charm? I feel funny again, such Shen Yi'an, his emotions are almost completely controlled by me, I can sarcastically mock him if I want to, and I will say two good things to him when I am happy. Why is he so easy to deceive, I pretend to be so perfunctory, and I can't see clearly? Such an obvious scam will even be fooled, is this still Shen Yi'an?

It's boring and funny, and I like to appreciate his emotions changing through me, as well as Song Yaxian. This woman is really too lethal, how could she choose to play such a ridiculous game on me, don't say that I don't care about Shen Yi'an at all, even if I care, I will only choose to watch the play, only then will it be interesting.

I've already figured out how to treat Shen Yi'an, didn't he show up when he was engaged? Then I won't show up at the wedding? How interesting, you can see him standing there and being ridiculed by everyone, there will definitely be people laughing at him, there are too many people who hate him.

It's really boring and boring, Shen Yi'an knows, everything I have to do? What will he do? I'm really looking forward to it, the child has been born, does he choose to let me go or endure all this? I'm really looking forward to that day coming, what to do, I don't think I'm going to be sad, I'm not going to be sad.

And then what? He was in a car accident.

I know, I know, and someone is going to ask, then why is everything not happening, not developing. I said that I want to be a human being, so a lot of times I have to act according to what people call emotions, and I don't want others to treat me like a monster.

It's all true, but it's part of my emotions, it's not all, if it wins, it means that there is a corresponding action, and if it loses, it's naturally overpowered by other emotions. I will never tell anyone what I really think, because it is enough for me to know how fake and ruthless I am.

I have an irritable mood, and it comes from Shen Yi'an. I'm also starting to wonder how he could do such a thing. It's not that I look down on Shen Yi'an, but that a person like him should be greedy for life and afraid of death, but only because of this position can he be high. Everything about him was given to him by his family, and he did not experience any catastrophes. However, I was surprised that he would design a car accident. It's nice that there's something unexpected in this world.

Yes, I don't even have unexpected emotions. On my birthday, I knew exactly who would surprise me, but the funny thing was that they all pretended to be mysterious, and thought I would be moved, sorry, not moved, not surprised, and as for surprises, there were none.

Actually, I was quite surprised by Ji Kaiyin, she didn't cry at me, and then scolded me and beat me. I suddenly understood something, is this love? Because Ji Kaiyin loves her son, she can tolerate me, and because Shen Yi'an doesn't want me to leave, so he traps me in this way?

I found it funny at the same time, but I also felt that I was too naïve, people are really intelligent creatures, and they always know how to do it. I admit that Shen Yi'an's plan succeeded, and he did trap me, invisibly trapping me. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I can't be crazy about love like others in my life, and if I always have to get married, it seems that marrying Shen Yi'an is not bad.

You ask me, what will Shen Yi'an do if he cheats? It's good, I can experience new emotions again, he loves me so much, or will he cheat, which shows that love is actually temporary, right? I shouldn't be able to study it, because I don't have it. But if he cheats, I think I'll look forward to it, which proves that I'm truly free, I can do whatever I want, and I don't have to do this and that just to prove that I'm a normal person.

I had a son, and later, I also had a daughter. All my energy is spent on my daughter because I don't want her to become the next me.

I always want me to be a normal person, with family, love, and friendship, although I seem to have all of them, but I know what attitude I have in my bones.

Don't worry about me, I'll be happy, at least it seems. I won't be sad, even if I had, it must be that I need to be sad at this time, I should be sad.....

From the emotional box, it will never see the light, and if you do, pretend you haven't. 166 Reading Network