Epigraph: I like a very popular actor who starred in a movie that begins with the heroine proposing to her boyfriend, who says he hasn't figured it out yet. I've always regretted that I think the end of this movie should be that this original boyfriend proposed to her, and then she said I hadn't thought about it yet.

I had a lot of dreams.

The first dream, I finally got my wish, and Shen Yi'an and I got married as I planned. I waited for a long time for that day, no one knew how much I was looking forward to it, and I finally waited until today to complete the regret in my heart. The day finally came, and many people, celebrities, rich businessmen, elite and authoritative figures all arrived, and I watched quietly, as if I was watching a show, and finally sneaked out of the hotel while people were not looking. I got into the prepared car and drove straight away in that car, and I left the city to a strange but far away place. I don't know when they found out I'm leaving, or what their mood was.

I saw that at the wedding scene, the host told everyone that the bride was unwell, so she did not show up at the scene, and the groom apologized on her behalf. The well-dressed Shen Yi'an, there was no temperature on his face, he suppressed something, as if he was sad and desperate. But he drank glass after glass of someone else's toast. Although the media speculated, nothing broke the news, and the Shen family did not lose face.

Later, my parents contacted me and they asked me why I was doing this. My brother also asked me, why is this so? They even gave me a lot of excuses, and they would rather have been kidnapped and left than believe that I had really left.

I suddenly felt sad because I was always alone.

In the second dream, I dreamed of myself when I was a child, when I was happy and carefree, and every elder who saw me praised me for being cute, and I must have been very beautiful. The little ones who have met me are happy to play with me. And that cool little brother, when no one is around, he will secretly pinch my face, and say that when I grow up, he will marry me as a wife. I don't know what my wife is, but he smiled, which means that he will definitely be good to me.

Then I saw the blood, I saw my mom lying in the blood. I saw my family shattered, I saw the happy family being torn apart, I saw the elegant father and the noble mother like the people in the market, vulgarly swearing, treating each other as enemies, and wishing that you would die and I would die.

My happiness, my laughter, my happiness, from this moment on, are like quicksand in my hands, they slowly slip away little by little, and there is nothing left.

The third dream.

I dreamed that I had a jewel in my hand, and someone asked me, if I could go back in time, where would I go back? I told the man that I was going back to when I was eight years old and that I didn't want to live like that again.

Then my parents divorced, my brother followed my father, I followed my mother, and I still studied hard, although the conditions were not particularly good, but my life was carefree. My mother remarried, married someone else, and was someone from my grandmother's side. My stepfather didn't have any children, so he was very nice to me and our family was happy.

I didn't ask how my father was doing, and he married his true love outside. Occasionally, my mother would lose her mind when she heard the news, but most of the time she was happy. Later, my mother gave birth to a son, and I continued to be even happier, and I also had a younger brother.

Later, when I grew up, I found an ordinary man, got married and had children, very ordinary, without any twists and turns.

The fourth dream.

I dreamed that someone was asking me what was the happiest time in my life, when I was a child, very young. I didn't experience anything, and I was happy to have eaten one more candy than my brother. You can be excited about having a new outfit for yourself, and then sneak around and put it on when your family isn't looking, and then take it off again. Will secretly wear my mother's high heels, and then be proud and excited. I can use my mother's lipstick and apply it all over my face......

"Dreaming?" Shen Yi'an's hand touched my forehead, and his palm was slightly wet, it should be that there were beads of sweat on my forehead.

"Hmm."

He looked a little worried, "Nightmare? ”

"No, messy dreams. I dreamed that someone asked me, if I could go back in time, where would I go back? "The scene in the dream was very real, but after leaving that environment, everything was blurry, and even the feeling at that time seemed to have been diluted with water, and it was much lighter.

"How did you answer?" He looked very interested.

Ever since he woke up from a car accident, he's been a little bit like that, and whenever I bring up a topic, he's going to stretch it out, like he has to talk to me. I don't understand his behavior, but I can't say anything when he does it, and I can't tell him not to talk to me.

"There was no answer, I just hope that's it." I don't know how I answered in the dream, but I don't want to go through my past anymore, whether I can change it or not, I don't want to, so be it, everything is in the past, even if the future is still unknown.

"I'd like to go back in time."

He said this with great emotion, and when I looked at him, he said nothing, but lay down and went to sleep. I suddenly understood what he meant, he wanted to say that he wanted to go back to when we were engaged, he wouldn't show up, he wouldn't make me laughing, we got engaged as usual, and then we got married, and he would be very nice to me, and we would be very happy.

Actually, I doubt that if we were really in everything at that time, he would have been nice to me? I don't believe that the first time he can't just let go of revenge, the second time it will?

I lay down and got ready to sleep.

"Merlin."

"Huh?" Our voices, very clear in the dark night, seem to be amplified and amplified by some instrument.

"I don't know why, I always feel like you can leave at any time."

I laughed, "It's like I have wings and I can fly away." ”

"If that's the case, that's good. I can take your wings off and I don't have to worry about it. ”

"It's ......"

He hugged me tightly and didn't say anything, but I could feel that he was so hard that he held me a little painfully, but I didn't say anything.

Our son, Ash, is very well-behaved, and I am always there for him, and I want him to be happy. When Shen Yi'an went home, as long as he saw me with Ash, he would be in a very good mood. He will set aside time for Ash to play, and he will also talk and chat with Ash, even if Ash will only scream.

I knew that he wanted me to build a deep bond with my child, and I pretended not to know because I couldn't make a commitment. I think I stayed, maybe not all because I was moved, there were many factors, but if there was a reason to leave, I probably wouldn't let go of that opportunity.

Later, our daughter was born, and Shen Yi'an liked Xiangxiang (Shen Yixiao's nickname) very much, and spoiled Xiangxiang lawlessly. And Shen Yi'an is completely unreasonable, Ash and Xiangxiang have contradictions, Shen Yi'an is indiscriminate, he will only reprimand Ash, and every time Ash will only pout, whether he wants to cry or not.

Every time I ask Shen Yi'an not to be so spoiled, she is too pampered, and she will be wronged in the future. Every time, he said that no one dared to bully his daughter.

In the eighth year of marriage, Shen Yi'an had a scandal for the first time, and the other party was a very beautiful female anchor with big breasts, a thin waist and a buttocks. It got a bit of a big fuss, and even Ash heard about it, and Ash ran over and grabbed my hand and told me that his dad would never like that female anchor. I asked him why, and I thought he would tell him how his father was so affectionate to me. He said that men will get better and better as they get older, and the female anchor is not as beautiful as me, so his father's vision will not be so bad.

But Shen Yi'an was very happy when he came back that day, although I didn't understand it very much, he was happy to be there.

After dinner, he didn't go back to the study, nor did he accompany the child, but kept circling around me, didn't talk, didn't do anything, but didn't leave.

For the first time in years, I felt like a kid sometimes.

"You don't have anything to say to me?" Shen Yi'an finally couldn't help but speak.

"Say what?"

"Why don't you ask what the rumors are about?"

"Well, what's going on?"

He smiled suddenly, very happily, very purely. He explained the matter with the female anchor, and he explained it in great detail. But I didn't listen carefully, I just looked into his eyes, and suddenly felt a little sad, did I really not do enough, that's why he cared so much? Even hope that I will be jealous, that I will quarrel with him or have a fight.

"Shen Yi'an."

"Huh?"

"It's fine."

I want to tell him not to meet someone like me in the future, he can act recklessly, whether it is moral, whether it is hurting others, just be happy. Instead of this, the occasional cautious gesture makes people look sour. But he must not like me to say such things, so don't say it, the truth is disgusting, or continue to tell lies or silence, at least it can make the world a little better.

When my daughter grew up, she said that she wanted to find a man like her father, and I told her that she couldn't find it, and she was puzzled. I thought about it for a moment before I told her, "Your father was with me, so he became like this, but he wasn't like that in the first place, you know?" ”

She thought about it for a long, long time, and finally nodded, and I don't know if she figured it out.

My sons and daughters have lived happily ever before, and this is the happiest thing I can ever do. 166 Reading Network