137. The future is bleak

That night, He Jin went to the high-speed rail station with his father, in September, the weather had turned cold, He Jin remembered that there was a change of clothes at home, and he didn't go back to the rental house where he and Qin Yang did, but just called Qin Yang before leaving.

Qin Yang just received a few print advertisements after signing a contract with an entertainment company, he was busy filming in the past two days, asked for leave from school, and still hasn't gone home, hearing He Jin say that he wants to go back to Q City, he suddenly became nervous: "Why go back?" What's wrong? ”

"My mom isn't in good health, and my dad came to me." He Jin didn't want Qin Yang to worry, so he only mentioned this, when he was on the phone, he was already at the high-speed rail station, his father was smoking not far away, He Jin spoke very softly, and he didn't dare to let his father hear it.

Qin Yang didn't have much affection for this "mother-in-law" who threw He Jin's helmet and left a scar on He Jin's back, and subconsciously was actually afraid that this big boss would affect his relationship with He Jin, so he couldn't help asking: "The body is not very good?" It can't be a lie, right? ”

He Jin was angry: "Qin Yang! This kind of thing is not a joke! ”

He was already confused enough now, Qin Yang still said such things......

As soon as Qin Yang heard He Jin's tone, he felt that he had said the wrong thing, and hurriedly said, "I'm sorry, I'm not afraid that you will be wronged again when you go back." ”

He Jin sighed, he didn't have the heart to explain to Qin Yang before he understood the specific situation.

"When are you coming back?" Qin Yang is concerned about this issue, but it's a pity that he is working now, and it is difficult to fly with his wings, otherwise he would like to accompany He Jin back regardless of it.

"I guess I'll be back in a day or two, I'll go to see my mother, I still have two months of classes when I come back, I want to choose the topic of my graduation thesis, I can't miss class for too long, don't worry."

As long as he will come back, Qin Yang's heart fell to the ground, he didn't know what he was worried about, it may be that he was bitten by a snake once, and he was always afraid of the recurrence of the incident of "being abandoned" nine years ago, "Then you remember, no matter what happens, you must call me as soon as possible, Auntie is not in good health and needs to see a doctor or something, you can also choose a good hospital and doctor, don't think about economic matters first, there is me." ”

This sentence was finally said a little decently, He Jin's heart warmed, and he said "yes", seeing his father smoking and looking in his direction, he quickly hung up the phone.

After the father and son met, they were silent, and He Jin's father was a little relieved for He Jin's cooperation, but from the beginning, He Jin did not mention the matter of the boy who lived together, and this incident still made He Father angry and puzzled.

"You just called that boy?" Father He asked softly.

He Jin said "um", his father knew it, and it didn't make sense for him to hide it.

Father He took out the last puff of cigarette, pinched the cigarette butt, and said with a vicissitudes of life: "He Jin, Dad can try to understand you in everything, but this is the only thing." ”

His father now has a firm look of "my attitude is here", and He Jin felt a sour feeling in his heart.

Indeed, the truth of the past is regrettable and shocking, and his mother's illness seems reasonable, but He Jin, who lacks understanding of "depression", has not yet realized how strict this disease is, "depression" and "depression", He Jin always feels that it is a kind of love disease, as long as he goes back to apologize to her mother, reconcile, and take care of his mother's love, it will get better.

But he still didn't intend to compromise on this, having already tasted freedom, it was hard for He Jin to imagine that he was living under his mother's control anymore, and he didn't want to cater to his mother's expectations because of this illness.

He Jin planned to wait for his mother to get better, and then he slowly fought a protracted battle with his parents.

"When you graduate, you can do the job you want to do, or you can go to the girl you like, this dad supports you, but you don't want to be an abnormal person." Father He is still trying to persuade He Jin to return to the right path.

He Jin raised his hand to cover his face and said bitterly: "Dad, don't talk about it yet." ”

He was reluctant to let Qin Yang go, he had dinner at Qin Yang's house half a month ago, and Qin's father asked him not to hurt Qin Yang's heart...... Why are there so many differences in tolerance between families?

Returning to his long-lost home, He Jin felt like a world away, the home was still full of that familiar smell, but it was less warm and more lifeless, and there were some torn labels on the dining room table, He Jin glanced at it, and there were more than a dozen kinds!

Hearing the sound, a person came out of the bedroom, it was He Jin's aunt, and she whispered happily: "Why are you back so soon!" ”

He Jin looked in the direction of the bedroom: "Well, auntie, what about Mom?" ”

The aunt looked at Father He, and Father He nodded: "I told him." ”

The aunt pointed to her brain, and some gods chattered: "I slept, I took that medicine, I was sleepy, and I had less time to wake up during the day." ”

Father He put down his things, sighed, and said, "It's better to fall asleep than to wake up and seek death and life." ”

The aunt looked at He Jin: "Jin Jin, it's not easy for your mother, you have to understand her." ”

He Jin: "......"

Father He waved his hand and said to Aunt He Jin: "I sat in the car all night, and after three shifts in the middle of the night, let's go to sleep first, if there is anything to talk about tomorrow, I will squeeze with He Jin, and you will still accompany your sister." ”

He Jin was lying on the bed, tossing and turning, and the look and tone of his aunt when he talked about it were like talking about a "nervous disorder", he really didn't expect it to be so strict.

He hurriedly checked on the Internet, but he didn't know that his understanding of "depression" was too shallow.

Depression is not "unable to think about it", nor is it "pessimistic and lost", nor is it "hypocritical", but a change in brain function, which is a change in the concentration of substances such as "serotonin", "norepinephrine" and "dopamine", which are responsible for regulating emotions and sleep, in short, the function of managing emotions has failed.

If you are sick, you have to take medicine, and only after taking medicine will it appear normal, otherwise the patient will be in a "dark and desperate" mood for a long time, and there will be no interest, which is the most fundamental reason for suicidal tendencies, and He Jin's mood suddenly became heavy.

The next day, He Jin was awakened by a gentle touch, and in a trance he thought he was in a rental house in City A, and rubbed his hand comfortably, but he quickly reacted, he went home! When he opened his eyes, He Jin saw a gloomy face, it was his mother.

"Mom......" He Jin quickly sat up and called her, looking at the obvious wrinkles on her face in disbelief, as well as the half-white hair, he remembered that he had not left yet, obviously, she was a lot older, although it was only half a year, but He Jin didn't know how much psychological pressure she was undergoing.

Suddenly, He Jin felt very guilty and blamed himself, his heart ached, he grabbed the quilt and said in a low voice: "Mom, I'm sorry, I was wrong." ”

The corner of the woman's mouth looked at him carefully and touched his face: "It's good to come back, it's good to come back, I haven't seen you for half a year, my mother is about to kill you, my mother is also wrong, my mother apologizes to you." ”

He Jin's eyes were sour, this was the understanding and respect he wanted, and the peaceful coexistence he wanted, he grabbed his fucking hand and said apologetically: "Don't touch it, I'm here, I'm fine." ”

The woman was still staring at him and asked him about the details of the past six months, He Jin was empty-hearted, and he didn't dare to talk about himself and Qin Yang in front of his mother, so he said that he lived in a classmate for a few days after running away from home, and then started school, and lied that he had worked outside for half a year, and the woman was distressed and burst into tears, and repeatedly apologized to him, saying that he had made him suffer.

He Jin didn't know how to lie, he just thought that he could be deceived once, and for the time being, he didn't see anything unusual about his mother, He Jin was quite optimistic, and his father was also very happy to find He Jin to come back, but his optimism didn't last long, and he soon witnessed a fucking "attack".

It was noon, He Jin mentioned his summer internship experience, and carefully put forward his intention to stay in City A to work after graduation, his mother blackened her face for a moment, put the dishes and chopsticks down, and began to say "no", her speech speed was very fast, like every time she rejected He Jin's request in the past, it was impossible to interject at all, and later, she stared at one place with her eyes blankly, as if talking to herself, and in the end, she began to cry, crying while saying: "How can you be so cruel to me, so unfilial!" I'm your mother! I'm your mother! If you leave me! What's the point of me living, I might as well die! ”

He Jin didn't know how to deal with this situation at all, so he could only promise against his will, "I won't leave", "I'll come back", "Mom, don't cry", persuaded for a long time, his mother still looked like he was loveless, and finally was coaxed by his father to feed him medicine, and then slowly calmed down.

Only then did He Jin realize that he was too naïve and idealistic.

Because he still has to go to school, he can't go if he doesn't go, He Jin and his mother took the high-speed train back after resolving the conflict on the surface, and promised to make a video call once a week in the next few days to report the details of life.

A qiē, as if back to the past.

After returning home, He Jin felt as if he had been infected, and he was completely depressed and pessimistic, he felt that in this situation, the future of himself and Qin Yang was bleak.

On the day he returned to school, he didn't know why, he didn't go to the house he rented with Qin Yang, but went back to the dormitory for one night.

Hou Dongyan asked him how things were handled, and He Jin said: "It's worse than I imagined." He didn't tell Qin Yang that his mother was depressed, but he told Hou Dongyan, "I have a lot of medicine to take, but I checked, the side effects of that medicine are quite big, and eating too much is also not good for the body, and now it is up to my father to take care of it alone." ”

Hou Dongyan asked, "What should you do with Qin Yang?" ”

He Jin should have been firm, but at this moment, he hesitated: "I don't know ......"

Hou Dongyan: "Hey, according to me, you can just play in the game, and there are a few pairs of positive results in the development of reality, which is too unreliable." ”

Yes, He Jin also thought so before, two men, the reality is so difficult, how can they go on? But after being with Qin Yang, he was unconsciously infected by the other party's enthusiasm and love, and he liked the feeling of being surrounded by positive energy and self-confidence when he stayed with Qin Yang.

"I read a book that says, those loves, loves, are dopamine, regardless of men and women, the love period must be dizzy, and when that stage passes, calm down, you will find that in fact, no one can live without anyone."

Hou Dongyan just stood in He Jin's perspective and objectively analyzed how to do it to his advantage, but he didn't expect that his casual words had a huge impact on He Jin - yes, from that eight-year wait,