< and Junko's daughter was born at the end of February, a crumpled little baby who looks particularly cute. I don't know why, this year's winter seems to be very late, several of us are crowded in the ward, I still feel cold, suddenly there is an extra coat on my shoulder, I turned my face sideways, and saw that Yu Tian was also staring at me.

I smiled, thanked me, and then grabbed my coat with my hand, feeling the warmth he gave me.

When I got out of the ward, Lin grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me to the back of the crowd.

"Brother wants to talk to you."

I glanced at him, and then saw that Yu Tian had already gone away, and I had no choice but to go with Lin Jing.

Lin actually took me to the Hunan restaurant where I once drank half a bottle of Erguotou, before and after nearly a year, only when I stayed there, I felt that time was pressed the pause button, the dishes did not change, and even the expected situation that the waiter would look at Lin Jing more did not change. I laughed at him for how a little boy looked so attractive to bees and butterflies.

Lin actually poured me a glass of water and said straight to the point, "I'll see you off today." ”

"Oh."

The hand I was going to hold the cup retracted again, and the day before Junko's daughter was born and the mother and daughter were safe, I booked a plane ticket, and I didn't tell anyone about it, and everyone knew it.

Lin Jing asked, "Do you have to go?" ”

I nodded, casually picked up some food, and replied absentmindedly, "School is still a month away, and I'm going to prepare." ”

"Can't you be here?"

I smiled and poured myself some wine, "I can't pass the test." ”

It's a fact that I've spent too much time in vain, but I've never worked hard for myself. The months of work are inadequate, the loneliness when there is no work and no one to accompany me, I can't live for the rest of my life just by shopping and eating potato chips and watching movies, and I can't tie Yu Tian to me all the time because of my own incompetence, no matter how much I love him, or how much he can rely on him with confidence, I must have the ability to live independently, and love him with a complete self.

Maybe I can't be strong enough to be his dependence, but at least, I hope I'm not the one who can only cause him concerns.

For more than 20 years of my life, I never wanted to grow up, but now, because of Yu Tian, I realize that I suddenly want to grow up.

When I was choked by the chili pepper that was accidentally put into my mouth and tears were about to flow out, Lin actually frowned and said softly, "But Brother Tian cares about you very much." ”

I covered my mouth and replied lightly, "I know." Do you think he wants me to go or stay? ”

Lin didn't answer.

I poured myself another full cup of the same two-pot head as last time.

"Since it's a send-off, accompany me to have a drink, it is estimated that no one can accompany me for a long time to let me get drunk so safely."

The wine was drunk one by one, and it was raining at dusk outside the window, and I stared at it for a while, and Lin Jing's eyes on the other side were already red, and this child was like this as soon as he drank. < le came, Lin and I were dragged into two cars like two criminal children, it was I who called Yu Tian and asked him to pick us up, buckle the seat belt, I turned my face sideways to see that Lin was thrown directly into the back seat by Le, who was unconscious.

"Why are you two here together? Is there no one on Junko's side? ”

Yu Tian smiled and handed me a thermos flask, it should be something like decanting tea, I unscrewed it and drank a little.

Yu Tian said, "It was Chunzi who asked him to come, otherwise it would be too much trouble for Lin to be a light bulb." ”

I swallowed and tightened the coat that had been on me since noon, "I'm sleepy. ”

"Then sleep."

I nodded, squinting my eyes and peeking at the side of his face under the light, it was still good-looking, but it was thinner, unlike what I saw when I first came back, and I was in better spirits at that time.

I swallowed hard, not knowing if it was saliva or tears, maybe he would be better after I left.

When he woke up, the car was already parked downstairs at Junko's house, and Yu Tian said, "I won't go up." ”

"Hmm."

I unbuckled my seat belt and was about to take off my clothes and return them to him, but I was stopped.

"Let's put it on first."

"That's good."

When I got upstairs, I turned on the lights and waved at Yu Tian from the inside, I don't know if he can see it, but I can't see the situation in the car from me at all, and then the lights come on, turn around a direction, and gradually move away.

At that moment, my heart twitched, and the clothes I was wearing seemed to still have the smell of the rest of the day, but parting was just around the corner.

Half an hour later, I received a message from Yu Tian.

- What day?

- Saturday.

- I'll send you.

- Okay.

In the next few days, I would go to the hospital every day with Yu Tian's clothes, thinking about returning them to him when I met him, but he seemed to be very busy, so I never went, including the day Junko was discharged from the hospital on Friday.

On Saturday, Yu Tian came to pick me up. I had already reported to my mom the other day, so I didn't need her to send me.

The flight at eight o'clock in the morning departed from Beijing, so we set off before four o'clock, and the weather was still cold, Yu Tian looked at the coat I was holding in his hand and said again, "Let's put it on first." ”

I nodded, but it wasn't really cold to have the heater on in the car.

Yu Tian asked me if I had brought all the things, from passports to cash and mobile phones, to my favorite specialty snacks, everything was carefully confirmed, even so, there was no topic of conversation after getting on the highway.

The road was quite clean, the two of us sat side by side, but no one spoke, Yu Tian turned on the music and turned it to the lowest sound. I looked up at Yu Tian's face in the rearview mirror.

His eyelashes are not very long, nor are they curled, they grow in that drooping way, and his lazy appearance is very present.

I looked at me, and the corners of my mouth unconsciously went up.

Yu Tian said, "I'm so good-looking, can't you see enough?" ”

"It's okay."

In the past, every time I had to fly from Beijing, I felt that the journey to the airport was long, but this time I felt that it was not long enough.

After parking the car, Yu Tian took out my suitcase and took another one.

I frowned at him.

Yu Tian smiled and touched my face, "I'll go with you." ”

I shook my head and said, "You're kidding." ”

"Why did you see through it so quickly?"

Yu Tian lowered his head, his expression was momentarily lost. He put two suitcases on the cart, "It's all food." ”

I entered the waiting hall, changed my boarding pass, and checked my luggage at more than six o'clock.

Terminal 3 has a small subway ride, so you have to go through security a little earlier. I still wanted to or had time on the road, and it wasn't until the crowd around me was already crowded that I realized that the real separation was in front of me.

Surrounded by more and more tortuous long lines, and all kinds of separated people, overhead are boring and cold radio girls, at that moment I feel that Yu Tian and I are in the middle of the crowd, as if he is also in the center of my heart, the surrounding noise has become the background, countless overheads, countless accidentally rubbed shoulders.

It's just me and Yu Tian, as if it's still.

My nose was sour, and I couldn't hold back my tears. Yu Tian rubbed his dry fingers hard against the corners of my eyes, and it hurt a little, but when I looked up and saw him smiling at the corners of his mouth, I immediately understood that he was deliberately brushing his sense of existence like this.

"Don't cry in front of others."

"Okay."

"Let me hug you again."

I stretched out my hand and lay in his arms.

"And what about kissing again?"

"Yu Tian......" Tears have slipped from the corners of his eyes to his neck, and they are cool, and the more salty the corners of his mouth feel, "Tell me, is it better to separate?" ”

Yu Tian didn't say anything, and when I looked up, I only saw his side face and slightly reddened eyes.

I let go of my hand and got my boarding pass and passport ready. I quickly kissed him on the mouth before turning around.

It was just a casual kiss, and in the end it was a little secret that only the two of us knew, and no one in the crowd had time to notice us.

I pushed him away and ran away quickly, until the distance was far enough, I dared to turn back, and looked at his back with a pair of eyes that were already red from crying, countless unfamiliar faces, and his back was set off extremely lonely.

I even wanted to go back right away, but the person behind me pushed me and said, "Hurry up." ”

I had to turn around too, maybe only a second, so I didn't know that at that time, Yu Tian also turned to look at me, he struggled to look for me in the crowd, but he couldn't find me, and finally he laughed at himself.

Later, he jokingly said to me, "I should let you dye your hair red or blue." ”

I asked, "Why?" ”

"It's more conspicuous," he said. ”

I don't remember how I got on the plane, but I remember that when the flight attendant came to deliver the drinks, I was in a daze and asked me in three languages in a row. There are also some people who are going abroad for the first time, some are students, some are tourists, and they are asking each other when filling out their arrival cards, and their faces are full of expectations.

And I turned my face sideways, looked at the same blue outside the window, and grabbed Yu Tian's coat that was still on me tighter.

He and I were separating at 800 kilometers per hour.

The next time we meet, please allow me to use the best of myself and love the best of you.

...................................................................................................................................................

Let's talk about why Si Xi must leave.

Yes, she will choose to go, and it is also a choice I have had. is particularly immature and dependent on people, so when they are together, they stumble and have no sense of security, and they will blame themselves afterwards, and over time both of them will be tired. The reason why Si Xi and Yu Tian's reunion did not go well this time was because she never had enough security for Yu Tian, and I don't think the sense of security was necessarily given by others. It's because she knows too much of her own shortcomings and doesn't trust herself enough that she will be insecure, and now she is in a hurry to reconcile, and she will still repeat the mistakes of the past. But it's impossible to stay in the same city without seeing each other, and you still can't be independent. So she chose to go back to school this time, to enrich herself, only to let herself really grow up, to be independent, to be confident, to be confident enough to love herself, and then to love others. (There are too many words, and the small yellow box can't be put away.) ）

!!