In fact, I have only been kissed by two people when I am so big, one is Yu Tian, and the other is Lin Yue.

And these two people bring me two completely different feelings.

I remember the first time I kissed Yu Tian was on the day I confessed to him. I said I liked him, and he asked me what kind of like, and I said I wanted to hug you, the kind I wanted to kiss you.

Then I asked him if he liked me, and Yu Tian nodded. Next, I jumped up and gnawed on his mouth. I don't have much practical experience in kissing, but I have a lot of theoretical knowledge.

Ever since I found out that I like Yu Tian, whether I watch TV or every time there is a kiss scene, I feel that my face is very hot, and then I observe, figure out, and imagine very carefully.

The first time I kissed Yu Tian, I was in a reverent mood, as if I was performing a great ceremony. Later, Yu Tian got used to taking the initiative, he was very smart, including kissing, after two or three times, he would be very hands-on, and every time I was kissed by him, I was almost out of breath.

It's always been a deep, feeling of being owned, as long as you passively bear it.

Kissing Lin Yue is a different feeling. He was just as smart, but he didn't show himself as bluntly as Yu Tian, he would gently hook my tongue and then lead me into a state where I was not very comfortable, and I was forced to respond to him. It was obviously something he took the initiative to do, but in the end it turned into an interaction.

And every time, I was taken by him to this thief ship.

Maybe it's because I think of Yu Tian, I'm a little absent-minded, Lin Yue bit my tongue, I frowned in pain, our faces were too close, and when I opened my eyes at the same time, I saw his gray-brown pupils reflecting my dazed eyes.

I forgot to move, and Lin Yue didn't move. We held this position for a long time, and my neck was about to stiffen, so Lin Yue leaned on the pillow again and looked at me very gently.

That kind of look is not all gentle, but also like a kind of enjoyment, like appreciating your own possessions.

I looked at Lin Yue with a red face, "Aren't you injured?" ”

Lin Yue smiled innocently, "It's just a hand." ”

I stared at Lin Yue's reddened lips that I had gnawed on, and my face seemed to be hotter than before.

Lin Yue frowned and asked me in a very calm tone, "You shouldn't be thinking about something nasty, right?" ”

"You're nasty!"

I glared at Lin Yue, he was a patient, and I really couldn't use violence.

Lin Yue was still looking at me, with a look that pierced through the autumn water, probably since I sat down, his eyes have not left me, and now this pair of good-looking eyes seems to contain some kind of expectation, he suddenly asked, "Do you like me?" ”

Without warning.

This is not a difficult question to answer, if Lin Yue asks do you love me, I will definitely not be able to answer. But likes, you can tolerate a lot, and there are too many kinds of likes, just like I can like Lin Jing or like Junzi and Google.

Without waiting for my answer, Lin Yue smiled, "If one day, you will like me like you, I will be very happy." ”

I think I was completely defeated. Even if I can't tell such complex emotions, I think that someone like Lin Yue is probably not completely immune.

For Lin Yue, it seems that there is a hostage plot, Stockholm syndrome that is often mentioned in Hong Kong dramas. Of course, Lin Yue is not a kidnapper, and I am not a hostage. Just a person who has never been obligated to treat me and has no reason to be kind to me, suddenly gentle, then I will go with the flow and find myself inextricable, and even develop a strong dependence on him.

I looked at Lin Yue, and Lin Yue also looked at me. Tacitly about this relationship, maybe it has already begun, maybe it's still brewing imperceptibly, so let's experience it slowly.

I finally understand why people pursue love, love, not because of fear of loneliness, love itself is an addictive and obsessive thing. In the past, I only loved Yu Tian alone, but now I think that there are really many possibilities in a person's life, and I shouldn't give up myself for him and let others down.

After watching Lin Yue finish eating a whole bowl of wonton noodles, I still have to leave, and it is impossible to stay here with him all the time. Lin Yue didn't say anything, nodded very cooperatively, and then kept looking at me with a very soft and reluctant gaze.

After returning home that night, Uncle Lin didn't ask me anything, as if it was a tacit understanding, and I avoided hiding in my room.

In the next few days, my life seemed to be calm again, occasionally with the help of Google and Lin Yue for a short time, he just looked at me and smiled, and then all kinds of picky food prepared by me, every time I separated, he also looked at me quietly.

After I was free, I continued to prepare the entrance materials for graduate school, I thought that I could not block all my back roads, and at the same time, I thought of Xiaoxing.

This time, I didn't have any reason to deceive myself anymore. From the first time I had such a dream, I began to suspect that something had happened to Xiaoxing, and over the years, although I didn't ask anyone about her, I still tried many ways to find her.

And now, I finally know that the content on Xiaoxing's blog has been recorded by Yu Tian for the past four years.

In my heart, there is an indescribable jealousy. It's not just the feeling of being deceived and betrayed, it's jealousy. He can do so much for her, complete her unfinished ideals for her, and he must love her very much.

What's more, there was once a little life between them.

At the same time, I remember what happened in the village. I found a photo of junior high school at the bottom of the drawer, which I hadn't opened for a long, long time. At that time, most of the photos were also stored in my mobile phone, and the only photos I found of Xiaoxing were our graduation photos.

There are hundreds of people in the whole grade, and I've forgotten a little bit about what Xiaoxing looks like, but I remember that we are very similar. I watched it one by one, and finally found the little star standing with me in one of the rows.

It's really similar, except that she has long hair, and I still have short hair. At first glance or if you can't feel it, familiar people think we are sisters.

At that time, it was also because of my appearance that I became friends with Xiaoxing.

"Sixi, what are you doing?"

I turned my head and said, "Mom, why haven't you slept yet?" Is there something wrong? ”

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing." I put the photo away," a graduation photo from junior high school. ”

My mom frowned, "What's there to see, go to bed early." ”

"Hmm." I suddenly remembered that there was a group of photos taken with Xiaoxing before, "Mom, is the photo of my junior high school graduation photo with you?" ”

"Well, what's wrong?"

"Can you show it to me, I have a few photos with a friend, I want to see them."

My mom was suddenly stunned, and she said, "You sleep first, and I'll give it to you tomorrow." ”

"Okay, you can rest early, too."

The next day, the old lady found the photo for me, and I flipped through it for a long time, but it was all a photo of me.

"Is that all? I remember a few of them were taken with my friends. ”

"It's all here, maybe it's been too long, or maybe you're mistaken."

"Hmm."

I held the album and always felt that something was wrong, but I couldn't tell.

That morning, Lin Yue and I made an appointment to go to the hospital to see him, and in the afternoon I was going to go to the small village where Yu Tian lived to ask the people who lived there, whether Xiaoxing was Xiao An, I remember that last time Grandma An always regarded me as Xiao An. There wasn't any direct evidence, but my gut feeling was that there must be some connection between them. If Xiaoxing is really Xiao An, then Yu Tian should have known her since she was a child, but he told me that he didn't know Xiaoxing, why is this?

I went to the hospital with the photos.

After I made up my mind to figure these things out, I felt a lot more relaxed.

The graduation photos are all very long, I bent it up and put it in my bag, and Lin Yue saw it and asked me what it was.

I took out the picture and showed it to him, "My junior high school graduation photo." ”

"Which one is you?"

"Find it yourself."

Lin Yue looked at me with disgust, "There are so many people, you are not conspicuous in it at all." ”

"Didn't you think I was good-looking at the time when you said it?"

Lin Yue smiled, "I said that?" ”

I was angry and planned to take the photo back, "I won't admit it so soon, don't look at it!" ”

Lin Yue still lost to me in the end, he took the photos and looked for them one by one like I did before.

"Well, right?" Lin Yue asked me with a smile.

"You're smart. But looking at it now, it seems to be very different from back then, I don't seem to have short hair since then, and you said last time that I should cut my hair short......"

I talked for a long time, but when I turned my head, I saw that Lin Yue didn't seem to be listening to me at all, "What are you thinking?" ”

Lin Yue's eyes were half-drooping, the sun illuminated his skin as if it were transparent, but his face did not have the kind of smile I was used to.