"Actually, that's not bad, there was a joke that the husband was overjoyed when he found out that his wife was finally pregnant, and he wanted to tell everyone the good news. So I used my wife's mobile phone to send a group text message----I'm pregnant." After a while, my wife's mother replied: Isn't your husband infertile? You and Xiao Li got in touch again? After a while, my brother-in-law replied: What are you going to do? Then the old classmate replied: We haven't seen each other for half a year, don't rely on me. A colleague replied: No, it's only been two days, and the leader replied: I'll give you 10,000, you can rest for a while. The customer replied: Okay, don't scare me, you come to my house again tomorrow, and I will sign a contract with you. A stranger replied: If you divorce, we will have this child. Another stranger replied: "There was still Mr. Zhao that day, you won't say it's mine, right?" Another stranger replied: Don't be kidding, I've already been sterilized. ”

"You pay such a small price, you recognize a few people, the so-called plastic sister flower, that's what it looks like, why care. ”

"But they and I have been classmates for three years, and we ......"

"You see, you can think like this, the so-called friends, many times, at the beginning of school, the dormitory manager and aunt randomly arranged for you to live together, so you became friends, that is, if there was another person at that time, who was arranged to live in a dormitory with you, you were still together, and even more intimate, this is life, maybe you may join another girlfriend group, and confront and compare with the so-called girlfriends who abandoned you before, so, this is life. ”

"Hehe, how can it be so serious as you say. ”

"The war between women is terrible, there is no real friendship, as long as you are good with someone during this time, the girl who is usually isolated in the girls' dormitory, either not the same kind of person as a few others, or too beautiful and excellent, rarely because she is not good, you can hear any version of your business or other people's affairs in different people's mouths. There are six people in the girls' dormitory and seven groups, and for a boy, you can have a terrible dark war, I have the impression that a rich second generation once talked to four girls in the same dormitory at the same time, listened to them attack each other, and showed us, you see, that's it, recognize those people clearly, it's actually very good. ”

"You're really good at laughing. ”

"Speaking of which, girls, there's really no need to care too much. ”

It's not really a friend. It's just that at a certain stage, in a similar environment. This kind of relationship, which is not based on the attraction of charm, naturally breaks down minute by minute. This is called "proximity" in psychology, and it affects the intimacy of interpersonal relationships. There used to be a common goal, so we talked about each other. But when circumstances change or competition arises, the relationship fades.

Why is it difficult for women to form the kind of friendship between men that "sticks a knife in the ribs for friends"--- I have said before, it is difficult for women to maintain long-term feelings for people outside of blood relatives... Many women place their emotions on cats and dogs, obsessed with "release" for the next life... In essence, it is also a manifestation of a lack of rationality! It is difficult to maintain the emotional relationship generated by pure endocrine for a long time--- that is to say, women are more dependent on biological instincts than men in their behavioral drives!

The emotional giving between non-blood relatives is essentially a disguised exchange of interests... The so-called everyone for me, I for everyone, no return for the effort can not be persisted for a long time. As a dependent gender, they tend to value this more than men's non-blood relatives**.

Women are demanding, and men are the opposite.

Specific to girls, because women don't have too much emotional dedication to people outside of blood relatives... It is more of an interdependence, or more emphasis on the use value of the other party.

The so-called plastic sister flower --- it is difficult to find examples of female friendship rising to the point of life and death.

It is difficult for high-level women to form real friendships between high-value women, and the "friendship between high-level men" cannot be applied to women. On the contrary, it was the jealous Zhou Yu Dudu who was ridiculed, "A small belly like a woman... “

And it's actually hard for low-level women (ugly women) to have real friendships... Women instinctively need to rely on a strong person and use him as a leader in life!

We often say that beautiful girls always like to find an ugly girl as a background board, in essence, this is to take what they need, not the former to the latter as people think of it is a disguised bully of the latter. Women are strong and obedient, and weak girls disdain the results of being in the company of their kind!

It is generally accepted that women are more socially competent, and that friendships between women are more intimate. Studies have also shown that women have a higher level of intimacy than men in same-sex friendships, and they will have more self-disclosure, which can promote the development of friendships to a certain extent. Men's friendships, on the other hand, revolve more around physical activity and less about exchanging personal feelings. But at the same time, it is not uncommon for girls to intrigue and hurt each other, and various routines.

In general, plastic friends always play a lot, don't like to listen, speak in a weird way, fall into the well, overoccupy your emotions and energy, and try to squeeze you dry. Their lives are always a mess. They often get into quarrels with others, causing confusion and getting caught up in right and wrong. And, they are good at getting you involved in surprisingly pompous stories, and often even lie for sympathy. Their lives seem to be nothing short of a tragedy. Plastic friends rarely really listen to you. They are always waiting for an opportunity to speak and direct the conversation to themselves, and there are always endless bizarre experiences. They rarely praise you, and even often envy you and suppress you. Not only will you not be happy with your results, but you will make up for it when you are struggling. They always want to compete with you, "My boyfriend must be better looking and richer than yours", "Of course my position and salary are higher than yours", "You are better at drawing than me? That's not okay!", and so on. They seem to be particularly clingy and jealous lovers. It's a dependent friendship where they want to take up all your time, try to keep you away from other people, and will keep texting you and asking you to reply, even knowing you're busy enough to keep your feet on the floor. They just want you to leave everything behind and care about them. Even if they behave irrationally, they can still make others feel guilty. Sometimes you feel like you're like a beacon for them. Once you fall, they will follow. When you decide to get along with someone, you always worry about whether they will do something bad; If you ignore them, will they hurt themselves? You can't say what's wrong, but these people drain your energy and your brain can't rest. Not only do you feel responsible for them, but you always feel uneasy. If the presence of some people is unbearable for you, then this is your body reminding you: they are those troublesome people!

Women and their closest friends are usually "one-on-one", meaning that their friendships are isolated from their relationships with other people, while male friendships are more likely to occur in a larger group. Therefore, we can understand that women are more likely to feel lonely when friendships end. When there is a conflict with a good friend, the conflict will be easier to resolve in a group setting. The group can provide a third-party mediator, ally, or a new good friend for the conflicting couple, "You don't want to play with me, and there are a lot of friends lining up to play with me". These aspects regulate the conflict itself. In addition, groups can help individuals resolve negative emotional responses. Therefore, although the friendship between women is more intimate, there may be some inherent difficulties between women's friendships that hinder the maintenance of friendships.

Intimacy may make individuals more reactive to inevitable conflicts, making them more difficult to resolve. The more women share their personal feelings, their friendships are closer than men's, so women feel more affected when there is conflict. When conflict occurs, men tend to confront it head-on in a more direct way, verbally or physically, while women use some "curve to save the country" methods, such as revealing the privacy of good friends to others, "If you come to provoke me, then I will tell your scandal everywhere to see if you dare". In an intimate friendship, when both parties exchange more personal and confidential information with each other, if this information is leaked, it can lead to greater emotional damage, and the friendship becomes very fragile.

Another possible explanation is that same-sex friendships may not be as important to women, and that men may value same-sex friendships more than women. Some cross-cultural studies have shown that women invest more in their relatives than in their peers. Women value family and relationships with relatives more than friendships, and they invest more time, energy, and money in family relationships. This is also confirmed across species. Female chimpanzees invest more in their offspring and other relatives than in males, and less in other unrelated females, and they spend relatively less time with these unrelated females. Similarly, if a conflict occurs, the female will spend more time resolving the conflict with family members than with other peers of the same sex.

There is a possibility that women's ability to resolve conflict is not well developed compared to men. Studies of chimpanzees have found that female chimpanzees reconcile and compromise less often than male chimpanzees. Men are more tolerant and tolerant of their peers of the same sex. A study of college students found that boys were more likely to be satisfied with their roommates and were less susceptible to other influences such as their roommates' social styles, hobbies, values, hygiene, etc., and were therefore less likely to have conflicts; In addition, while it is generally believed that women are more social and men prefer a person, studies have also found that men are more likely to work with more people for longer periods of time and are more likely to have long-term relationships with unrelated people of the same sex.

While friendship can provide us with social support, it can help us to be physically and mentally healthy and help us get through difficult times. You might think that people have lower blood pressure when they're with supportive friends and relatively higher when they're around "offset" acquaintances (outspoken coworkers or moody bosses). But amazingly, the researchers found that blood pressure increased the most when people were with "ambivalent friends" (friends and foes). Further experiments validated and extended this finding. "Even if the person was in a different room in the lab, the respondents' blood pressure and anxiety levels were elevated. "It's just a reflection of what they expect from interacting with these people." "Even just a few subliminal cues, such as flashing the name of a plastic friend on a screen, can stimulate the participants of the experiment, and their hearts will beat faster and their nervousness may increase. This shows that our relationships not only have an impact when interacting directly, but can also permeate every aspect of our daily lives in these less subtle ways. "Anything that reminds you of these people can trigger your body to respond accordingly.

Superficial brothers: When you don't encounter something, everyone calls you brothers, eats, drinks and has fun together, and you can brag together, so that you think that this is a real brother! When you encounter something, you will be reluctant to deal with it, or you will not interact directly, for fear that your affairs will involve him.

Many people have such a person around them, but when you are declining, they are the first to jump out to help you, and when you are good, they desperately hit you.

Or you also have this part, when you see a close person flourishing, although you know that you should be happy for others, but your heart is always a little sour for some reason, and you will even subconsciously reduce your relationship with this person, or can't help but be mean. But if this person really has a bad life, he is more anxious than anyone else and wants to help.

At that moment, I was saddened to know that the boy's true self began to crumble, and his happiness and self-confidence in life were based on comparison, either to become someone better than others, or to find someone worse than himself, which is generally easier to do.

And seeking is the process of creating, and what you are looking for is what you are creating. Because where your attention is used determines what your world looks like.

So we will find that there are many people in this world who are very good at discovering the shortcomings of others, but everyone uses different expressions, or sarcasm, or criticism, or education, or complaining, or mocking... Different styles and different characteristics, there is always one for you.

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