I arrived at the house of the Lido family, where no one was waiting for me, the room was covered with dust, and the two pots of azaleas had long since died.

Here and only here can I let myself think about him and his departure, let myself cry and tears to vent my sadness, I have no regrets about meeting him, his appearance makes my heart like a dry well full of joy again, as if I am new again.

It's just that every time I give my feelings, what I get in the end is pain, which makes me wonder about my life, what kind of life has God arranged for me?

Yu Xinhui called me and asked me where I was asking me about Li Haoyu's high school entrance examination, and I said that I was in Lido Jiayuan, and Li Haoyu was okay in the exam.

Xinhui didn't know that he was gone.

I asked her to come over.

She came in and looked at my face, looked around and asked, "Why is there dust everywhere?" ”

"He's gone"

I said quietly.

Xinhui looked at me in a daze, and I added: "Forever"

After speaking, he turned around and walked to the carpet and sat down, quietly looking out the window, and tears involuntarily fell again.

Xinhui didn't say anything or look at me, but went straight to the kitchen to bring water to boil, took a rag to wipe the ashes in the house, mopped the floor, boiled the water, and brewed the tea and sent it to me.

I watched her work quietly back and forth, and her heart gradually calmed down, and she looked around and the window was bright and clean, so she sat beside me with a teacup, and quietly looked out the window with me.

She lowered her head and looked at the teacup in her hand and said: "Still, you are more knowledgeable than me, and you are more assertive than me, you think more, and you are also demanding of feelings, you seem to be excellent in all aspects, but in real life you have never lived a happy life, why can't you live as plain and plain as others?" You're so smart and beautiful, is that just to make you unhappy?"

。

I lowered my head and looked at the tea floating in the teacup in my hand: "I'm already me, I can't change it, it's not that I haven't tried to make do with my eyes closed, but I can't do it, people can only live a lifetime, I don't want to live it against my will"

。

"So what kind of life do you want? What kind of person do you really want? ”

Xinhui looked at my face and said.

"I don't know, I only know when I meet him, just like I meet him"

I said, looking at the teacup in my hand without her gaze.

Xinhui was silent for a while and asked, "Wu Tianyang is gone, he is also gone, do you think he will come back?" ”

I don't know what to say, he's gone, I know he won't come back, but I'm not reconciled, I shook my head and said, "I don't know"

。

"You didn't ask him? Didn't you keep him? ”

Xinhui asked reluctantly.

"My mind he understands, what is there to ask! In the end, both of us knew at the beginning, how could I keep him? Cry out to him? I didn't beg Wu Tianyang, and I won't beg him."

I said stubbornly.

Yes, from the beginning I didn't say a word of love for him, I didn't say a word for him to stay, but how could he not understand my thoughts, but he still left, begging and entanglement to change nothing but to make myself more humble and make my heart more painful?

Xinhui took my hand and choked up a little and said, "Still, since you are so strong, don't hurt yourself this time like Wu Tianyang left back then, okay?" You have never mentioned Wu Tianyang in the past ten years, but you have never opened your heart to anyone, don't you think it's a pity for more than ten years? ”

More than ten years of good years, more than ten years of loneliness, more than ten years of pain buried in the bottom of my heart.

He just saw it in his eyes at that moment, he silently gave me the most tender love and pity, he didn't say love to me, but he was sincerely affectionate and truly loved and pity, I can feel that he was always there when I needed him, and he was by my side with all his heart, and he never took the initiative to leave in the days of getting along, only I had to leave him because of work because of home.

Before leaving, he said, "Still, don't leave yourself alone again, okay?" ”

Thinking of this qiē, I couldn't help but burst into tears.

After Wu Tianyang left, I was calm and calm in front of anyone, as if nothing had happened.

But at this point I could no longer restrain myself, I hung my head and let the tears flow freely, I never said "love" to him

This word can be "love"

This word has been engraved in my heart.

I can't escape from facing Jiang Xinya and them anymore, as soon as I go to work in the morning, Hu Yali called and said that the high school entrance examination is over, and the school has been on vacation, everyone is relieved for me, and I want to gather everyone to eat together, I agreed in a relaxed and happy tone, but my heart was heavy when I put down the phone, how can I do it to keep myself in the same mental state as in the past when I get to the party, and not let everyone see that I have any flaws in the change of feelings.

Jiang Xinya drove to pick me up early, I got in the car and said with a smile: "It's still early for dinner, you are too anxious to pick me up so early."

。

Jiang Xinya looked at me and said, "You can still laugh, it seems that you are in good spirits, I came to pick you up so early just to see how you are now, after he left, you refused to see us again"

。

"I didn't, it's just that I'm a little busy during this time, and I also want to adjust my mood, I'm fine"

I said with a nonchalant smile.

Jiang Xinya looked directly at me and said, "Still, I've been thinking about what will happen to you these days?" What should I do? I sue you: between you and me, I will never shy away from mentioning him, I will not pretend not to know that person in your life as Wu Tianyang did when he left you, we all pretend that that person does not exist, but let him hurt you for more than ten years."

。

"Why do you always compare him with Wu Tianyang, they are two different things"

I bowed my head and said.

"Now I put him and Wu Tianyang together in front of you and say it, because I am afraid that you will be like Wu Tianyang left back then, and you will close yourself emotionally, and you will no longer care on the surface, but your heart will be bleeding all the time. Still, you don't have more than a dozen years to waste. At the beginning, when I felt that you were together, I used to hope that you would have results, but when I knew that you would not have results, I was also very happy that there was finally someone who let you out of the shadow of Wu Tianyang, but I also knew that you were a person who took your feelings too seriously, and I was afraid that you would repeat the same mistakes."

。

I raised my head and looked out the car window and said: "Don't worry, I'm not the Lin Yi I was more than ten years ago, I've experienced it once, I know what I should do, he didn't deceive me, he said at the beginning that he couldn't stay with me for too long, and I was already mentally prepared for this ending."

。

Yes, Chen Jingde's appearance did make Wu Tianyang completely walk out of my heart, and now I no longer have any place for him in my heart.

But now it's just a new wound that replaces an old one.

Jiang Xinya was silent for a while and said: "It's best if you think like this, still, I think you seem to be strong, but why don't you have the courage to fight for yourself once, I can see that he loves you very much, he tried his best to arrange a qiē for you before leaving, if you insist on it, you may not have hope."

。

I smiled lightly and said, "I am indeed not a really strong person, I have the courage to draw a knife and break my arm, but I don't have the courage to let go of my self-esteem to entangle and plead, and I have the courage to keep tearing apart with another woman and another family."

。

"Okay, you have the courage to break your own arm, but you don't have the courage to break someone else's arm, you Lin is still amazing, but don't suffer yourself in your heart, don't let this person ruin the rest of your life"

Jiang Xinya sneered and said.

I squinted slightly and looked out the car window and sighed: "What are you afraid of, come and go, now that I have done it, things have already been like this, I will do it myself, no matter how painful or sad it is, I will carry it"

。

Jiang Xinya didn't look at me either, stared at the front window and raised her face slightly, and said: "Lin Yi, I hope you will do what you say, I don't want to say anything about this matter that is not painful, since you said to bear it, but I don't want you to bear it like you will bear the consequences of Wu Tianyang's departure." You are a person with a lot of strength in your heart, I don't understand why you are so negative in the matter of Wu Tianyang, you have been dealing with life passively for more than ten years, it seems to be calm as water but you are wasting your time, and now I think about it, it is really not worth it for such a merciless person"

。

I listened silently, I have no regrets about the more than ten years that Wu Tianyang has lived alone since he left, and I have not fallen in love with anyone but have not missed anyone in those ten years.

When I met this person, I liked him, he stayed with me, and in these days I loved him, loved by him, although it was short, although it was hurt, but there were no regrets.

When I fell in love with this person again, I knew that my emotions had not dried up with Wu Tianyang's departure, and my hope for a new life remained in the bottom of my heart.

Xinya paused for a while to see that I was silent and said: "Still, although no one knows about this matter, I can see that your emotions are so full and flying when you are with him, you have the ability to love again, so you should have the ability to rebuild your life, if you feel that you and him can never be together again, forget him completely, what you said is different from him and Wu Tianyang, you know the final result when you are together, you don't have an oath, there is no betrayal in this, I hope you can really let go of him and not neglect yourself"

。

I leaned my head on the chair and looked at the roof of the car, I knew all the truth, I saw everything very clearly, but I couldn't control my feelings, it didn't mean that I could forget my jì, my reason often wandered outside my body, quietly watching this woman named Lin Yi crying, in the heartache.

I was quietly waiting for the flow of time to dilute the pain, waiting for the wounded heart to heal itself.

When I felt that he was leaving, I feared how I would spend my years without him, and when I had really lost him, I was no longer afraid, and I stood here with my fists clenched and gritted my teeth.