In the room, Lei Zhenzi was reclining and watching TV, Nezha sat back in front of the computer, Bai Qi and I didn't move when they entered the room, just like we were air, and You Heng stood on the balcony and looked coldly into the distance.

I have to say, You Heng is still a little useful, my window glass has not been replaced since it was smashed by Nezha, mainly because it is not available, and then You Heng came to stand in front of the window all day long and look into the distance, even if he is so cold that the snot hangs on his mouth, he will not move the nest, with him, this room is much warmer.

Seeing me and Bai Qi enter the house, You Heng turned around, walked up to me with his head held high, and said, "Today you take me to see Langzhong, although the pain has not been relieved for a while, but you are indeed a solid person, I forgive you once, for the time being, I will not move downstairs to live." ”

I patted him on the arm: "That's right, it's so cold, you still go to live down, and Ming'er will become a popsicle and be sent to the crematorium to thaw first."

After speaking, I went to the toilet to get a cloth, and when I was not at home this morning, Lei Zhenzi used the floor as a spittoon again.

"Who are you?" At this time, You Heng also saw Bai Qi who entered the house with me, he raised his head and looked at the little old man in front of him with his spare eyes and asked coldly, I took a dun cloth and leaned on the puddle of water next to the sofa, and replied casually: "He is a killing god." ”

"Oh!" The corners of Youheng's mouth glanced slightly: "At your age, I'm afraid you can't kill a chicken, and you still kill a god?" ”

Bai Qi arched his hand at him: "It's a shame to say that the old man fought in his life, did a lot of bad things, and left such a filthy name to the world." ”

"I am a mad god, and my common name is You Heng Zhengping, do you know?"

Bai Qi shook his head: "I don't know ......"

"The usurper thief Cao Apu, the usurper of the Son of Heaven to order the princes, and Liu Jingsheng, the Jingzhou people, must be familiar to you, right?"

The people he said were all characters who were scolded by him in the late Eastern Han Dynasty, Bai Qi didn't even have the Qin Dynasty when he died, and the middle span is so big, can Bai Qi know a fart? You Heng pretended to be too far away, and he was confused when he heard it.

Seeing that Bai Qi didn't know anything, You Heng sighed and said, "Hey, these are all characters who compete in the world, you actually don't know anything, it's just that." ”

"Did you win them all?" Bai Qi estimated that seeing that this You Heng was young and known as a mad god, he felt that this person was probably a character, and a trace of admiration couldn't help but appear on his face.

"I scolded them all."

"Uh......"

Bai Qi was speechless......

"Well, do you know why I'm called Mad God?" You Heng looked smug, if you want to talk about this narcissism, You Heng is really unprecedented.

Bai Qi wiped the sweat on his forehead: "You are so crazy, admire and admire ......"

"Okay, don't say flattery, what about you, what kind of achievements do you have that you dare to call a god?"

"Old and embarrassed, he intercepted the Han and Wei coalition forces that year, plundered five cities, beheaded 240,000 enemies, led the army to take Wei directly, beheaded 130,000, fought Changping and killed 450,000 Zhao troops......"

As soon as Bai Qi said a few words, I saw You Heng wave his hand again and again, and then he looked like he wanted to vomit, I stepped forward and grabbed him, and said, "Are you okay?" ”

"That white rise of the Warring States?"

I nodded silently, and You Heng was speechless: "I'd better move downstairs to live......"

There was too much delay in the morning, and lunch was done late, so I ordered some noodles at random, and when it was served, Lei Zhenzi still had an unhappy face: "I'm starving, can you cook early next time." ”

I said while distributing the bowls to them: "Don't you take the mad god to see the illness today, I don't want to, besides, you sit in front of the TV all morning, and you'd rather be hungry than eat noodles, who is to blame?" ”

"You don't have a place to stuff firewood on your stove, how can I use it? By the way, is this noodles put water or noodles first? ”

I:......

"Little brother, your place is like heaven, the old decay is really eye-opening, just now when you went to cook, Grandpa Lei taught me to watch that TV......"

"Wait." I interrupted Bai Qi and pointed at Lei Zhenzi with one hand: "Uncle, the Grandpa Lei you just said can't be him, right?" ”

Bai Qi said as a matter of course: "Isn't it him?" ”

I was made to cry and laugh: "In terms of physiognomy, you have no problem being his grandfather." ”

Bai Qi shook his head like a rattle: "That's not possible, Grandpa Lei is a figure of the Shang Dynasty, even if I call him grandpa, it's a big advantage, do you want to call it a mess?" ”

I wiped the beads of sweat from my forehead: "In my case, your name is a mess, now the world we are in is an atheist world, science is supreme, such as the TV you watch, and the computer that Nezha plays, these are all products of science, from a historical point of view, you and the mad god have been dead for thousands of years, and Nezha and Lei Zhenzi are characters that do not exist at all, if you are discovered by outsiders, you may have to be arrested immediately to conduct human experiments in the research institute." ”

"What is a human trial?" Everyone asked in unison.

"Human experiments are all about stripping off your clothes and cutting them into slices...... "I don't understand that human trials are a hairy thing, so I casually rambled nonsense.

A few goods were dumbfounded when they heard this, and Bai Qi was the first to react: "What kind of dish is this?" ”

I nodded, "That's pretty much it, so you must not reveal your identity." ”

Bai frowned: "I didn't expect the world to be unified and there would be such cruel acts, it seems that if you want to be truly peaceful, little brother, you have to enter the official career first, with the assistance of all of us, it must not be impossible for you to rise to the top, and wait for you to be a very popular minister, and then come to remove these harsh punishments, so that the people of the whole world can live and work in peace and contentment." ”

"Career? You mean to take the civil service exam? I waved my hand: "Don't think about it, not to mention whether I can be admitted to the civil service as soon as I Chinese the first time, I should be admitted, then I have to start as a clerk, even if I am on the rise, how can I ...... thirty years after I reach the level of being qualified to participate in constitutional amendments."

"Time doesn't matter, I think I fought for thirty-seven years to achieve this goal."

I filled Bai Qi with a bowl of noodles and handed it to him: "Isn't this over, what did you get in the end after more than 30 years of fighting, right?" killed so many people, some from enemy countries and some from their own country, and finally tossed themselves to death...... Actually, you misunderstood me just now, I said that the human trial is not the same thing as the severe punishment you think, and the current social environment can be regarded as having food and drink, and there has been no war for decades, isn't this your ultimate goal in the first place? ”

I immediately pointed to the noodles on the table: "Don't look at the noodles we eat at noon, you just say that we eat the noodles, is there less meat?" At that time, ordinary people could eat this? Every day, if you don't have enough to eat, you have to go out and fight with people, is that the life of a person? ”

"You're right, but as soon as I heard you say that you want to cut people into slices, I seeped into panic, it's too cruel."

I smiled slightly: "No matter how cruel you are, you can be cruel, throughout thousands of years, no one has killed as many people as you, I say something that I don't like, the word cruel, you are really not qualified to say, and I said that slicing people is also a metaphor, do you think, you have lived well, and you have to study a particularly incomprehensible thing, in exchange for you, you can't take him to study and study?" ”

As I spoke, I walked to the computer and pressed the computer shutdown button, and then twisted Nezha's ears and pulled them to the dinner table: "Are you finished?" Can't you play after eating? ”

Nezha was twisted by me and screamed in pain: "Eat, eat, eat, can't I stop playing?" ”

Everyone laughed when they saw this scene, and when I saw that everyone had arrived, I knocked on the edge of the bowl with chopsticks: "Let's go." ”——

Segmentation –

Sanjiang's results are at the bottom, the penultimate place, but it does not affect the passion of Lao Jiu to write a book, after all, the original intention of writing this book is to let everyone have fun, you read the book, happy, say a few more words in the book review area, Lao Jiu is also comfortable in his heart, I wish everyone a happy holiday, don't say anything, vote with votes