After Xiao Ai completely disappeared from my sight, I took a cigarette from the cigarette case and lit it, the first cigarette in a few days. Over this time, the results of quitting smoking have been obvious, and I have gradually become fond of throat lozenges, but at this moment, when the wind blows in the twilight and I only peep into the world through a car window, I especially want to smoke...... Come to think of it, no matter how big and colorful the world is, there will be a loneliness engraved behind it, and loneliness is definitely the highest feeling of human beings, but its existence is like a flame of a dotted line, sometimes it burns very strongly, but there is no fulcrum at all, and I don't know where it comes from......

When I finished smoking a cigarette, I started the car and prepared to drive towards Huashen Avenue next to Tulip Road in the sunset, and we had another brief intersection. She was quietly waiting for the taxi on the side of the road, and I was the fastest in the traffic, but the air and time seemed to condense, and then everything around me became dotted lines, only her face, and the wipers on my car were clear, our bodies quickly turned into quicksand, the buildings were like the coastline, and the flashing lights were our senses that came and went.

It turns out that there is a feeling in this world that is more advanced than loneliness, called meeting but not seeing.

……

Driving out of Tulip Road, I went to a very high-end mall in the city. I bought a lady's spring scarf and prepared to give it to Yang Jin. Subsequently, I sent a message to Yang Jin and told her that I was waiting for her at a Teochew restaurant called "Songhe".

Maybe she's getting jet lag, so after waiting a long time, she didn't reply to the message. Sitting on a platform with nothing to do, while watching the people who were busy making a living, while waiting for her reply, but unwilling to take the initiative to make a phone call to disturb her rest, I seemed to have become extremely patient, and it was possible that I had not seen this complicated world in such a state of spectator for a long time, so I was willing to stay here a little longer. And I really saw a lot of people riding bicycles, just young people, although they were enthusiastic, but they were just busy to fill their stomachs. The most decent is a beautiful girl who drives a white Jaguar, and there is no shortage of such girls in the bustling city of Nanjing, they have a superior family background and are super beautiful, so they are fantasized by too many men with average conditions, but fantasies are just fantasies after all, and after the illusions are broken, they are still tired of running around rain or shine...... Seriously, no one would believe that such a girl would end up with a poor boy from the countryside, because they don't want to put such a local word as "ideal" on their lips, they don't need "ideal", they just need beauty, the most beautiful, and more beautiful......

After watching it like this for a while, I actually felt exhausted in this kind of life, I don't hate the world, and I don't like it much. I lowered my head, but the sudden drop in temperature before the night made me feel very uncomfortable. Suddenly a cold wind blew, and I hurriedly tucked up my collar, this kind of self-protection, so isolated me from this world, the world that belonged only to me, there was only a cold and damp tavern, and in it was a group of young women and people who wanted to get drunk......

When night fell completely over the city, I finally waited for Yang Jin's reply, and she said that she would go to the restaurant to meet me immediately. And after reading this message, I looked up at this street again, and it was even more unfathomable under the neon rendering...... By unfathomable, I mean people who walk down the streets, looking numb in their legs and feet, but their hearts are stirring.

……

When I came to Songhe Tower, I ordered food and waited for Yang Jin, and she was about ten minutes later. When we face each other, I still feel uncomfortable because I still can't say "Mom".

After we had a few small talks, she asked me, "How's your engagement with Jin Qiu going?" ”

"I didn't make any special preparations, but I made an appointment to do it when she returned to Nanjing next time...... Actually, the process of engagement is not that complicated. ”

Yang Jin smiled and said, "I know that you used to be engaged in wedding planning, and no one knows what to do better than you in this matter...... However, I would suggest that you skip the engagement process and get married...... After all, you are not young anymore, and it doesn't matter whether you get engaged or not. ”

I looked up at her......

"What, don't you think that's appropriate?"

"It's not appropriate."

"Why?"

I replied: "Jin Qiu and I don't have a relationship foundation, we need a little more time to get along, and then get used to each other, and engagement is a commitment, with this commitment, we will have a solid feeling when we talk about marriage." ”

"You mean, even if you don't fit in with each other after you get engaged, there's still a chance of separation?"

I was stunned, and only after a while did I say: "Jin Qiu and I were very rational when we made this decision, so I don't think such a possibility exists." ”

"Since it doesn't exist, let's just go straight to get married, so as to save you a lot of dreams at night...... From your mother's point of view, I think Jin Qiu is a very suitable girl for you, your personalities are complementary to a certain extent, you are less decisive in your bones, but she is very assertive. And married life needs some human touch and some responsibility, so this is the reason why I want you to marry Jin Qiu. ”

"I didn't say I wouldn't get married, I just didn't want to skip the process of getting engaged."

Listening to my voice raise a few points, Yang Jin didn't choose to forcibly talk to me about this topic, she just said to me: "I respect your ideas, but when you get engaged, you should tell me some time in advance, so that I can free up time...... I don't want to miss a single memorable day of your life...... Jiang Qiao, you must not think that your mother is making up for something when she says this...... It's not like this, it's because you, like Yang Qu, are all children I love deeply, and I never thought of favoring one over the other between you. It's just that sometimes the choice is too frustrating. ”

I realized that I had a gaffe, and that this gaffe made me feel uneasy, and I was afraid that I, like most people, would be fickle and would not be able to figure out my life. Although, I've tried hard to change that.

I finally took out the scarf I bought at the mall from the bag I brought, and then handed it to her and said, "This is the scarf I bought at the mall before I sent you a message today, it is silk, it is the most suitable for spring wear, I hope you like it." ”

Yang Jin stared, and took it from my hand for a long time, and she said to me movingly: "I like it, I will definitely like it, because this is the first gift you gave me." ”

I didn't look at her directly, I just lowered my head and replied, "Let the past pass...... Since my grandmother's death for more than a year, I feel that I am still living a very solid life, because I am still a family person, which is also my grandmother's greatest expectation for me...... As for the future, it will be better...... I also want to thank you for making my life so full of possibilities...... By the way, I just negotiated with the marketing department of the hotel this afternoon, and in the future, the supply of flowers and trees and landscape maintenance of the hotel will be handed over to my company...... Tomorrow, I will go to the industrial and commercial registration and do my favorite business in Nanjing. ”

Yang Jin nodded, and then I saw a very comfortable smile on her face for the first time, and she said to me, "The way you are now is what I want to see the most...... It also makes me feel that my mistakes back then have not reached the point of irreparability. ”

I smiled with her, and then I put a piece of grass shrimp that I remember her favorite to eat in her bowl......

At the time of separation, I stood next to her car and opened the door for her. Before she got into the car, she said to me with a very serious expression: "Jiang Qiao, regarding your father's whereabouts, I have asked the police to assist in the investigation, if ...... He's alive, there will be news. ”

My heart shuddered, but I just nodded.

Yang Jin asked me again, "What if one day, you have the opportunity to meet him face to face...... Will you forgive him? ”

I was so mixed that it took me a long time to shake my head and reply, "I don't know...... If he has had a worse life than anyone else over the years, it will be difficult to hate him for anything. However, I must know, what has he been doing in all the years since he left? What is it worth him to abandon his mother and son. ”

Yang Jin sighed, looked at me for a while, and then got into the car, but I stood in place for a long time, I wanted to remember Jiang Jiyou's appearance, but I couldn't remember whether I was alive or dead. Perhaps, this person is really dispensable in my heart, especially after my grandmother's death......

……

In the blink of an eye, another week has passed, and in this week, I am still living a plain but fulfilling life. I rented three rooms in an office building on Tulip Road as a starting point for my company; At the same time, it has once again established a close connection with Tulip Road. After that, Uncle Qiang, who sold flowers, also arranged for Shangqiao Farm to plan the land. He is actually a very experienced flower farmer, and I am very relieved to hand over the "Dream Garden" to him. However, Uncle Qiang was too conservative, he was unwilling to accept shares, and finally chose a monthly remuneration of 7,000 yuan. He is already very satisfied with this, because he has sold flowers all his life, and he has never been so stable as he is now.

On Qiao Ye's side, Su Han also brought the child back to Shanghai, and Qiao Ye continued to win her sympathy with the image of a sick man. However, I know that his parents will definitely have a showdown with Su Han because of this child. It seems that the three people who have been entangled for so many years are also going to usher in the final ending. And me? It seems that there is a result soon.

……

It was another night, and I invited Wang and his design team to a meal and then took them to a bar to show that a boss has compassion for his employees.

This is one of the more famous bars in Nanjing, which often gathers some of the more well-known people in the music industry, and the consumption is not low. I brought ten people, and a table of wine was spent, and it cost more than 10,000 yuan, but I didn't feel distressed. I know it's a necessary investment to build a solid team and build a sense of teamwork......

Once seated, I got to know the people in the group one by one, and after a lap of drinking, I went to the bathroom. When I came back, I happened to meet Yu Xin, who I hadn't seen for a long time, and she was followed by a strange man, who was very close to her, and even tried to have physical contact with her, which made me very uncomfortable......

After I said hello to the members of the team, I walked towards Yu Xin, and I believed Zhao Mu's words in my heart, feeling that the past few years had made Yu Xin's style a little inappropriate......