Yu Xin's accusation as if with blood and tears made my emotions high, but I couldn't tell who was lying between her and Zhao Mu, or if they both lied, but in front of me, they only said that it was beneficial to themselves.

As for Zhao Mu, she said that Zhao Mu had the evidence that Li Zishan framed Mr. Xiao in prison, which is even more to be considered, I think that although Zhao Mu has entered the core management of "Jinding Real Estate", Li Zishan is such a cunning and cautious woman, how could she leak the evidence of her crime at will, those things that can be fatal to her, she has no reason to accidentally hide them.

After a while, I calmed down my emotions and said to Xin: "Even if Xiao Ai and I end up together as you wish, what can change for you?" …… Will you return to Zhao Mu because of this, or will he let go of the obsession in his heart and choose to be with you? ”

Yu Xin looked at me, a little depressed, and said to me after a while: "I'm sorry, I didn't think that far. ”

I sighed softly, and there was a lot of emotion in my heart, we are all good at thinking about other people's situations very clearly, but we are often trapped by a fog, and the reason for this situation is because those painful changes and difficult choices do not need to be experienced by ourselves, so we can easily stand on a commanding height, pointing out the country to make choices for others. But once the same thing happens to you, you immediately become a lump that doesn't know where to go, and this is the most disgusting thing in human nature...... I always feel that none of us is qualified to dictate other people's lives, because what you can see is only the most superficial appearance, and neither of us can be roundworms in each other's stomachs.

I finally spoke to Xin, "I admit that I have a lot of concerns right now, and these concerns make it impossible for me to make a happy choice. I really don't want to do that, but I have to look back at the people who have done so much for me behind me, and I don't want to hurt them or let them down...... If it's possible, I really want to live for myself once, just like Zhao Mu......"

This time, I was silent for a long time before I said again: "I'm not afraid of losing everything I got materially, but I'm afraid of losing my family, especially the Lao Jin family, you won't understand this feeling...... Family affection is really important to me, very important...... Therefore, between you and Zhao Mu, it is difficult for me to believe you objectively...... These are the words from my heart...... Perhaps, in your opinion, I am not a smart person, even stupid. If this situation is handled by someone like Qiao Ye, it will definitely give you a hearty pleasure, but you can also imagine that once you do this, while satisfying some people, some people will also get the pain of being put to death. The reason why I am so indecisive is because I want to maintain the current balance, at least everyone seems to be fine, and even if there is pain, at least it is not on the surface...... But recently, I have gradually felt that I am unable to do anything, because the general trend is inviolable, and what should come will come after all...... So, just watch. ”

I didn't even talk to Chen Yi about these words from the bottom of my heart, but I said them to Yu Xin at the moment. I knew that my heart had been made unbearable by the rights and wrongs of these mortal worlds, and I was on the verge of exploding, just waiting for that person to ignite the fuse in my body.

……

The concert gradually came to an end, and I took out the bouquet of yellow tulips that were placed under the seat, and I decided to dedicate it to Xiao Ai, not to express any desperate love, but to give it to her from the perspective of a fan, and to commemorate the days when she sang for me with a guitar alone before her debut.

Like all the flower presenters, I was stopped by the security guards who took out their detectors again to make sure I didn't have any metal on me before I was put on stage.

It was the first time I had faced her face to face in such a public setting, and I handed her the tulip in my hand and whispered, "If this industry really makes you feel tired, then take a good break...... People can't not live for themselves because they are indebted, I still remember the dashing girl sitting on the courtyard wall, drinking beer and laughing at life...... If you go back, you will definitely go back! ”

Xiao Ai didn't take the tulip from my hand for a long time, and I handed it to her, and she took it from my hand, and then looked at me...... But the security guards didn't give me time to stay any longer, they invited me down and returned the stage to Xiao Ai.

And when I walked down the aisle, I looked back at her again, I couldn't accompany her to the end of this concert, and my heart was still worried about the little fish with little time to live. If possible, I hope I can give him one last ride.

Out of the venue, the night in Beijing was a little cool, and I tucked my thin shirt while waiting for a taxi to come and go. I don't know why, at this moment, those flashing neons in front of me, always make me feel a kind of indifferent calm, it seems to be more indifferent than people is the city, after the vicissitudes of life, it has long been accustomed to life and death, separation and integration, it is just a huge carrier, to welcome the advent, to send away the dead, again and again.

We are really too small, every emotion is insignificant, but it is these insignificant emotions that can kill people the most, such as me now, I can't ask for a bowl of hot soup, and I can't ask for a caring woman, whispering a few words around me, telling me that I am not alone in the face of this cold city.

I was even more lonely, with no one to share, so I turned around and threw all the bad emotions in my body into the city, just like the haze, disgusted by countless people, but there will still be a day when we meet again...... How fragile people are! Killed by money, killed by viruses, killed by emotions......

However, all of us are the same, and will eventually be forgotten by the world. So why don't you treat yourself better and practice a body that is invincible to all poisons? It's like me, if I think of the woman who is singing, I will hug her, I will kiss her, I will ask her to give birth to a child......

I lowered my head and smiled, laughing at myself as a person who thinks more than he acts, I know that I am the kind of person who must have a road under my feet before I am willing to walk, and I have not been afraid of love for a long time.

Come to think of it, this is the sorrow of a man who is about to turn thirty.

Sad, sad indeed!

……

rushed to the hospital non-stop, Qin Miao and Qiao Ye were still in the ward, but Xiaoyu's condition had deteriorated even more in just a few hours, and he was no longer able to respond to those who cared about him in words. Unless he dusts his eyelashes with his hand, his eyes will move slightly, and the attending doctor says that he will not survive the night.

Qin Miao and Qiao Ye collapsed together, and later Le Yao also fell into irrepressible sadness, we didn't communicate, just waited in silence, waiting for the painful moment that would definitely come.

I regret that I was so busy with work that I didn't take the time to come to Beijing to see this kid more, and I also regret that I made up the story of three tough guys, originally hoping that he would be strong, but he doubted the world when he left. If I had to choose again, I would tell him another story, in which there was a wonderful world, in which the house was made of chocolate, the trees were filled with cream and bread, and the river was full of coke and soda...... And once he is immersed in this fantasy world, he will not be too nostalgic for this world.

Children are always better than adults.

I closed my eyes, my nose aching, but I managed not to let the tears fall.

After a while, Xiao Ai came to the ward again, but her mental state was very poor, it was obviously the end of spring, but she was wearing a very thick cotton coat, and I knew that she insisted on doing the whole performance while sick.

As soon as she entered the door, she asked Le Yao about Xiaoyu's situation, and when she saw Le Yao shaking her head with despair, she burst into tears, and she was like two people who were calm before. Perhaps, I misjudged her again, she was even more fearful of death than we are, she did not see through life at all, all the indifference, just out of a strong disguise.

Half an hour passed, and the ward became quieter and quieter, and finally it was Le Yao who broke the suffocating silence, and she said to me: "Jiang Qiao, you send Xiao Ai back to the hotel to rest, she is already a little feverish, don't burn your body here...... Xiaoyu, this child, just let it be, you can come to see him, I am very grateful, in the end, we who are responsible for him can accompany me, you don't add to the sadness. ”

I didn't answer, but looked at Xiao Ai......

Xiao Ai said to Le Yao: "Acquaintance is fate, I still want to send him on the last ......"

Le Yao looked outside, and signaled: "Then go out and talk, I heard, you have already stated at the concert, saying that the concert in Beijing is your last of the year, I feel very regretful, I think what is in front of you now is the best opportunity for your entire singing career, it is a pity to give up like this." ”

Xiao Ai just looked out the window shrouded in night, and then whispered, "I'm tired!" ”

……

On this night, Xiao Ai and I didn't leave, we just held on, and Xiao Yu, the poor child, said goodbye to this world before dawn, he left in a coma.

I have been holding back no tears, but when I saw my bald head shaved in order to give Xiaoyu confidence in the mirror, I still couldn't hold back, I felt like I had a dream, I seemed to remember the scene of myself and Qiao Ye shaving off their hair that day, we were full of confidence to give Xiaoyu confidence, but he still left in such a hurry, it all happened too fast.

At six o'clock in the morning, Xiao Ai and I left the hospital together, we walked on the street that had not yet started to be busy, until we passed by Houhai Park, we stopped, and then looked at the lake in front of us together, watching the world where everything was recovering.

I lit a cigarette and tried to sober up my tired self. After a while, I asked her, "Do you have any plans for the future, to concentrate on the next album?" ”

"I don't know, let's go back to Nanjing to see Xiaofang first, we haven't seen each other since we left, and I miss her a lot."

I didn't look at her, I just pressed my weight more on the stone guardrail, and then smiled and replied, "I thought you had forgotten all about the people and things you used to do!" ”

She didn't respond, and after a moment she changed the subject and asked me, "What about you, what do you plan to do in the future?" ”

"My intentions? …… My plan is to ......"

I couldn't speak, but Xiao Ai kept waiting for me to continue.

I swallowed before I said, "There are only two paths in front of me now, one is for others to live, and the other is for myself...... But there are a few things I need to figure out before I choose. I've been numb for so long, and it's time for me to live soberly. ”

"Really?"

I looked at Xiao Ai, then nodded, and after a moment of silence, I asked her again, "When are you going to go back to Nanjing?" ”

"I bought a ticket for tonight, go back to the hotel and rest, and go."

I mustered up the courage and said to her, "Will you wait for me to do it?" …… I promised Xiaofang that I would go with you to her school to find her...... For me, the Xinghai Cup is also a dream that I have not been able to fulfill. ”

Xiao Ai hesitated for a moment, but finally nodded.

I said to her again: "I'm going to go to the construction site in Tianjin to deal with some things later, and I should be able to rush back to Beijing in the afternoon, and then we will meet at your hotel and go back to Nanjing together." ”

Xiao Ai replied unexpectedly: "It's better for me to go to Tianjin with you, you haven't slept all night, don't toss back and forth too much, find a place to rest after dealing with things, and we will go back from Tianjin as well." ”

She even cared about me in some details, and a warm feeling came in my heart, and I whispered, "Listen to you." ”

……

After reaching an agreement, Xiao Ai and I did not make too many stops in Beijing, I accompanied her back to the hotel to get her luggage, bought some fever medicine, and then took a taxi to the high-speed rail station together.

On the way to Tianjin, we were all tired, so we almost all fell asleep. When I arrived, I found a hotel for her to rest and went to the construction site on my own.

But on the way, I received a message from Chen Yi, who told me that she had heard some news from Qiu Zi'an, but she was reluctant to talk to me on the phone. She asked me to meet her and talk to her when I returned to Nanjing. Presumably, the stakes are high! She's also weighing what exactly she needs to tell me.

My heart, which had been calm, became nervous again, and I didn't know what I was going to face next.