The smell of fireworks and the aroma of food mingle with the smell of children, and children scurrying around the alleys with lanterns, all showing that we are experiencing one of the most anticipated nights of the year.

I finally shifted our gaze before Xiao Ai, I put my hand in my coat pocket, smiled and said, "We all have good wishes, so let's work hard next year and strive to achieve them." ”

Xiao Ai didn't respond to me, she put her hand in her pocket like me, and then sat down on the stone bench, looking at the streamer lights, which made her look a little worried, but I didn't know what she was thinking, as always.

The Chinese New Year's Eve dinner began, because the weather was relatively cold, I specially made a hot pot. Xiao Ai and my grandmother and I sat around the stone table, and the boiling heat in the pot quickly drove away the cold outside.

Just as we were about to use our chopsticks and enjoy the fruits of the day, my grandmother suddenly stopped Xiao Ai and me. She took out two red envelopes from her pocket, handed them to me and Xiao Ai respectively, and said: "This red envelope, one for each of your two children, grandma wishes you all the best in the coming year and smooth work." ”

I was used to my grandmother giving me red envelopes, so I naturally took it from her hand, but I felt that it was much thicker than before, so I opened the seal and looked at it, there was 1,000 yuan in it, I was a little surprised

Grandma handed another red envelope to Xiao Ai, but Xiao Ai looked at me and finally took it from Grandma's hand.

I asked my grandmother, "Grandma, why are you giving me so much money?"

Grandma put her hand on my arm, smiled and replied, "This year is different from previous years, more is better, more is better." ”

My heart was sour, counting the red envelope given to Xiao Ai, at least not less than 2,000 yuan, and this 2,000 yuan would take how many days and nights it took for my grandmother with inconvenient legs and feet to earn

Grandma said to Xiao Ai again: "Girl, if you come here for the New Year next year, grandma will give you a bigger red envelope." ”

Xiao Ai lowered her head, and after a long time, she replied: "Grandma, after this year, I will follow my mother to live in Taiwan, and I rarely go back to Nanjing."

Grandma's face suddenly became very disappointed, she held Xiao Ai's hand with a wrinkled hand, and asked with the last trace of luck: "You are a Nanjing girl, what are you doing in Taiwan, the customs of life there are far from ours, can you get used to it?"

Xiao Ai's eyes were full of apologies for her grandmother's disappointment, and she nodded after a long time and replied: "Mom is Taiwanese, and I am also half Taiwanese, and I will get used to it after a long time." ”

Grandma forced a smile, and replied after a long time: "It's not bad to go to Taiwan, I have a little to rely on by my mother's side, unlike our family Jiangqiao, which has no roots and no support."

Of course I know my grandmother's intentions, and I am very unhappy that Xiao Ai talked to my grandmother about her going to Taiwan on this supposed happy night, and my voice was unconsciously raised very high, and I said to Xiao Ai: "You are okay, what are you doing at this time?"

Xiao Ai turned her head to look at me, according to her previous temper, she would turn her face with me the next moment, and I regretted it after I said this, but my grandmother's lost appearance really made me sad, and there was a feeling in my heart that could not be released

However, Xiao Ai didn't turn her face with me, she looked at me with tears in her eyes, and replied for a long time: "I'm sorry, it's my fault, I shouldn't have said this Grandma eats, Jiangqiao eats"

Xiao Ai said as he picked up his chopsticks and pinched a piece of pork ribs for his grandmother, but the tears in his eyes were clearly even more.

I was so suffocated by lack of oxygen that I finally felt the pain of parting at this moment, I sat motionless on the stone bench, and Xiao Ai sandwiched some vegetables for me at this time, so that I could concentrate on eating.

After eating, tidying up the dishes and chopsticks, grandma sat alone in front of the TV and watched the Spring Festival Gala, I knew that she was leaving me precious time, but Xiao Ai said goodbye to us, and then walked outside the house with her handbag.

"Jiang Qiao, why are you still stunned, hurry up and go out to send it."

I came to my senses and ran out of the house. It wasn't until she caught up with her around the corner of the coffee shop, and she stopped, and as if she remembered something, she took out the stack of money she had seen in the afternoon from her purse, handed it to me, and said, "This is 10,000 yuan owed to you, and it's time to pay it back to you." ”

I wanted to reach out and take it, but I felt that the money was too heavy, and I didn't want it anymore, so I replied after a while: "I found a single-lens reflex camera, a headphone of more than 2,000 yuan, and a women's watch, even if I bought these things with you, I actually took advantage of them."

"Do you like to settle accounts with me so cleanly?"

I asked rhetorically, "If you're not, why do you pay back the 10,000 yuan?" ”

"You asked for it, but I didn't ask you for those things."

I was a little choked by what she said, so I looked at her stern face, and I finally replied: "Also, there is no clear settlement between us, the guitar you gave me last time is worth tens of thousands, and it can't be bought in China."

Xiao Ai looked at me and said coldly, "I don't allow you to use money to measure that guitar." ”

"That's not what I meant"

Xiao Ai didn't say anything more to me, she stuffed the 10,000 yuan into my coat pocket, then tucked her collar, and walked out of the alley, and I followed her.

As we walked out of the alley, I was surprised to find that the brightly lit tulip road at this time was like an oil painting that had been painted by a painter not long ago, and the children were the happiest elements in this painting, and they were frolicking in groups under the lanterns

I subconsciously stopped, and Xiao Ai stood almost at the same time, looking up at the tulip road that had been rejuvenated on Chinese New Year's Eve. As a result, she in front of me also became a figure in the oil painting, slim and beautiful

I took a step forward and stood side by side with her, and after a moment of silence, I finally whispered to her, "I just had a bad attitude towards you when I was eating, I'm sorry"

"I'm the one who should say I'm sorry"

"It's me, I once promised you, I didn't kill you, it's me who didn't keep my word."

Xiao Ai turned to look at me, her expression was full of complexity, and she seemed to remember the picture of herself asking me to write a letter of guarantee, and only after a long time did she say: "If you like to be fierce, I will forget about it anyway." ”

"Yes."

On the street, another row of colored lights was lit up, and everyone's expressions became more visible, and I seemed to see their joy-seeking mood through their bodies, but why did Xiao Ai and I become the only people on this road who were not in love

It's all fucking blame for the damn parting, or maybe it's because we've all said things we shouldn't have said on this night

Xiao Ai crossed the road and walked forward, I kept following her footsteps, but I didn't know why I followed her, and she didn't reject her, but never let me catch up with her, keeping a physical distance from me, but our figures were reflected in the cars on the side of the road, and then became a fleeting scenery with the bursting fireworks.

After a crowded stretch of road, we walked to the abandoned textile factory, and she finally stopped, and I stopped, but I didn't plan to go in and have a look. If the tulip road at the moment is a rich and colorful oil painting, then this textile factory is like an unknown river, standing outside and not seeing anything inside, even grass and trees, which will really make people feel panicked.

Xiao Ai took off her long puffer jacket and handed it to me, as if she was ready to open the iron door again.

"Jiangqiao, are you coming?"

I glanced into the mill again and replied, "I'll come if you come." ”

After receiving my reply, Xiao Ai prepared to climb the rusty iron gate, and I stood in front of her, then crouched on the ground and said to her, "Step on my shoulder, take it easy." ”

"What about you, who are you stepping on"

"I'm fine, I have the consciousness of bowing my head and being willing to be a son of a cow."

"I don't want to step on you, I will climb myself." Xiao Ai grabbed the iron gate with both hands and climbed up on the fulcrum between the gaps

I stood up again and asked her, "Are you reluctant to step on me?"

"Whatever you think."

"Haha, my grandmother said that when a woman steps on a man, it will make a man unlucky, you must be thinking about me, so you are not willing to step on it."

"You talk so much nonsense, you can't come yet"

"Come on." I answered, and began to climb up another iron door, and Xiao Ai's down jacket was tied around my neck like a cloak, which did not affect my climb in the slightest.

After walking for a while, my eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness of the place, and the abandoned textile mill and the old truck appeared in my sight, which had not been celebrated for the New Year, and were as silent as ever, so that it seemed that this place was a place that had never been sad or happy.

I put Xiao Ai's down jacket back on hers, and then sat down on the steps at the door of Workshop No. 2 before her, and the familiar mood immediately enveloped me. I knew that when I came here again after this night, I would miss someone more, even though she was still with me at the moment.

I lit a cigarette and let go of the anguish in my heart, and Xiao Ai sat down beside me.

I finally asked her, "When are you going to go to Taiwan?"

"Tomorrow at 12 noon to the plane to Taipei."

"Is your mom here so soon?"

"Come, stay in the hotel now."

I was a little surprised: "Then she is not very lonely to spend Chinese New Year's Eve alone, you brought her to my house to spend it together." ”

"Hehe, is this appropriate, how should I introduce you to her?"

I looked at Xiao Ai, lowered my head after a while, and finally didn't say anything.

Xiao Ai finally smiled and said to me: "Don't think too much, it's my mother who doesn't like to see outsiders very much, anyway, we will live together in the future, and we will accompany her one day." ”

I took a deep puff of my cigarette and nodded.

After a period of silence, Xiao Ai finally took my arm and said, "Jiang Qiao, teach me to smoke a cigarette, let's finish this cigarette, let's say goodbye here." ”

"Goodbye, we never said goodbye," my heart twitched.

"If you don't say goodbye, it's because you'll say goodbye, and it's become a kind of waiting and expectation, but there is no such waiting and expectation between us."

"So that's how you understand goodbye"

Xiao Ai lowered his head and didn't look at me, and after a long time, he said persistently: "Teach me to smoke a cigarette."

I squeezed out a smile with all my strength and replied, "Don't do it, smoking is addictive, and once you get it, it's hard to quit again."

Xiao Ai raised two fingers and replied very seriously: "I swear, this is the first and last cigarette in my life." ”

Her resolute look made it impossible for me to refuse, and I finally pulled a cigarette out of the cigarette case and handed it to her, she reached out and took it, then sandwiched it between her slender fingers and put it in her mouth.

She looked at me, then took the lighter from my hand and lit her first cigarette

She took a clumsy puff, then coughed, and I hurriedly patted her on the back, blaming her for being an impatient, saying that I had taught her before, and that she didn't smoke cigarettes like that

I asked her to take a small puff, but she took another big puff, this time choking on tears, I tried to extinguish the cigarette for her, but she refused to give it to me, she grabbed my arm with her hand, and then whimpered

I lost my mind for a moment in the pain, as if in the flickering cigarette butt, I saw a lingering that transcended life and death, she struggled in the first pain, but enjoyed the faint pleasure

I seemed to understand why she was leaving with me for a cigarette and smoking so presumptuously

Time was passing, but the fireworks in the sky never stopped, Xiao Ai finally extinguished the cigarette she had smoked in her hand, and the next moment she picked up her handbag and walked in the direction of the iron gate, the real goodbye came when I was not fully mentally prepared.

I looked up at her and ran my hands over my face, and I looked at her like this, and when she had climbed over the iron gate, I got up from the ground, and she didn't leave immediately, but stood outside the iron gate and looked at me.

I also went to the iron gate, she looked at me and smiled, the tears in her eyes were clearly visible under the reflection of the street lamp, she retracted her hand into her sleeve, then waved, and whispered to me: "Jiangqiao, you don't have to send me goodbye tomorrow"

My heart was like a towel that had been twisted, dry and astringent, and finally I climbed to the top of the iron gate, nodded at her, and then looked at her departing back, but I couldn't shout "goodbye" alive or dead.

She finally stood by the street lamp and stopped a passing taxi, and then another beam of fireworks burst in the sky, all the splendor reflected in the flickering window, I wanted to see her at last time, but the car was already getting farther and farther away in the lights

I raised my head, closed my eyes, swallowed all the words I had to say, forced back the tears that were about to fall, and then in the incessant sound of firecrackers, I felt the sadness that no one had spoken to me since she left Nanjing.

I muttered, "Goodbye Xiao Ai"

"Goodbye, the most beautiful girl in my life"

"May you be well in Taipei"