The whole tulip road, is still a sea of joy, I sit alone on the iron gate, it seems to be taller than everyone else, but the mood is the lowest one, my body is also covered with a lot of rust, like a person who has been corroded by the years, accidentally crossed from the past to the present, but does not know what to do next

I finally jumped off the iron gate, and then merged into this sea of joy, I walked back with nothing to do, and then crossed the road, and stood in front of the convenience store again, only to remember that I hadn't bought corn today, and it had become a habit in my life.

I pushed open the door of the convenience store, and the clerk was packing up her things, and she said to me: "Pick what you want to buy, I will close soon, I have to rush home to have a Chinese New Year's Eve dinner with my family." ”

I nodded, today was probably the only day the store wasn't open 24 hours, and I said to the clerk, "I'm going to ask for a piece of corn." ”

The clerk looked up at me and smiled, "It's you, Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year."

The clerk took out the last corn from the pot and handed it to me, saying, "It's already a little cold, even if I invite you to eat this today, right, from next year, the price of corn in our store will rise, and it will be 4 yuan a piece in the future." ”

"So expensive"

"Hehe, now even the vendors on the side of the station have sold for 5 yuan a piece, 4 yuan is not expensive."

I just took the cold corn from the clerk's hand, and just like my heart, I felt the desolation of things and people after the passage of time. I finally felt that my world was changing rapidly, the way I ate, the people I ate, and the people around me were changing

In the end, I didn't ask for this corn in vain, and I insisted on paying the clerk 2 yuan. Later, the discount of selling corn on Tulip Road for only two yuan became history, and I was the last witness, I will not come to buy 4 yuan corn in the future, and I don't even want to buy cigarettes here

When I got home, the lanterns in the yard were still flickering brightly and dimly, and these lanterns were hung by Xiao Ai himself

My grandmother, who found me coming back, came out of the house on crutches and sat down next to me, but after a while she asked me, "The girl is gone."

"Gone."

"I won't be coming back"

I looked up at my grandmother, there was still expectation on her face, she thought that Xiao Ai would change her mind just now, I didn't want to say this cruel truth, but I had to say it, and finally after swallowing my saliva, I replied: "Don't come back grandma, in fact, going to Taiwan is the best choice for her, you may not know some of the things that happened to her recently." ”

Grandma looked at me with some incomprehension, and after I lit a cigarette, I arrested Mr. Xiao, Xiao Ai's stepmother was poisonous, and she sued grandma for the fact that she was helpless in Nanjing.

Grandma sighed after hearing this, and then looked at me who was lowering her head and smoking, and whispered: "This is also a girl with a hard life, Jiangqiao, you listen to grandma, do some business in the future, buy a big house outside, a man wants to become a weapon, and he can't live in this alley for the rest of his life."

I nodded, "yes, I know. ”

"Grandma is old and can't stay up late, so she won't stay up with you for the New Year"

I helped my grandmother into the house, took back the bottle of red wine that Xiao Ai had just not drunk, and sat alone in the yard, just taking a sip of red wine and eating the corn that had been cold, I gradually became a little dizzy, and those flickering colored lights turned into countless cycles of the sun, I was happy and sad in the sun, squinting to find an unknown tomorrow.

I saw my own appearance reflected on the glass again, and couldn't help but smile self-deprecatingly, my mother gave me a body and hoped that I would grow up healthy, but why did I live more and more sadly

Wine is not intoxicating, but I desire to be drunk, my consciousness began to drift, just leaning back on the stone table, and then endlessly looking at the flickering fireworks in the sky, my feelings gradually split, half sentimental in separation, half looking forward in waiting

I have experienced life and death in Jiangqiao for decades, and I am not afraid of anything, let alone anyone else

I smiled in a daze, the phone rang in my hand again, I held the phone on my head and looked at it, it was a WeChat message sent by Chen Yi, she said: "Jiangqiao, this morning grandma gave me a red envelope of 1000 yuan, and I didn't give her a New Year's gift, it's quite unruly, I'll transfer 2000 yuan to you, you buy something for me for grandma." ”

The next moment, I received 2,000 yuan from Chen Yi through WeChat, she is such a woman, she never gives her grandmother more money on her, and always finds all kinds of excuses to give grandma more, and grandma does not favor one over the other between her and Xiao Ai, and gives 1,000 yuan of red envelopes.

In the end, I didn't accept the 2,000 yuan transferred by Chen Yi, but just said to her, "It's okay, don't be so troublesome", and threw the phone aside, and the 12 o'clock of the New Year's Eve was coming, only to hear the sound of firecrackers outside the yard getting denser and denser.

I don't know who roared in the alley first, and then, echoing one after another, and the new year really came, I had no love at all, just picked up the bottle and drank the last sip of red wine inside.

Back in the room, I put the New Year's money given by my grandmother under my pillow, and then replied to the New Year's wishes that everyone had just sent on WeChat.

My eyes were fixed on the message that Chen Yi had just replied to, she said "Happy New Year" to me, and still insisted on me accepting the 2,000 yuan.

I couldn't resist her, so I accepted the two thousand yuan, and then sent her five red envelopes of 200 yuan in one go, she didn't refuse, and after a while she accepted the red envelope, but she didn't talk to me again, my WeChat gradually stopped being lively, and fell into silence.

The sound of firecrackers outside the house had not stopped, and I had no intention of sleeping, so I took out the rare blue guitar that Xiao Ai had given me from the cupboard, but I couldn't play anything, just pressed the strings with my hands, and listened to the strings make a low groan.

My mood suddenly fluctuated violently, and I was caught in the tangle of whether to go to the airport to see off Xiao Ai. Although we have not shared hardships together, we have many memorable moments, and I should have gone because of reason, but she said that I didn't have to go to see her off, so what reason could I go?

In the midst of the entanglement, some images resurfaced in my dizzy brain

On a sunny afternoon, she sat on the mottled courtyard wall and dangled her legs.

On a rainy evening, she handed me a steaming corn.

At night in Lijiang, she played the guitar and we sang a simple song together.

My decision finally wavered a little, and I pulled a coin out of my pocket. I told myself that if there was a side with words after falling, I would send her off, and if it was the side with flowers, I would stay quietly in the courtyard and bless her with a qiē shun lì.

I tossed the coin high and pressed it against the back of my hand, and before the answer was revealed, my heart beat a little faster, and after taking a deep breath, I gradually removed the hand covering the coin

Some things may be predestined, the result of tossing a coin completely extinguished my determination to send her, I leaned on the bed a little tired, and then smashed the coin on the ground, I hated this thing for the first time so much, my heart was full of loss, but after calming down, I also chose to respect this result.

I was sleepy, and then went to sleep without expectation. Perhaps, because of the drinking, I didn't even have a dream all night, but that doesn't mean that my sleep quality is high. When I woke up, my brain was still groggy and trying to rest, so I suspected that I had dreamed and just forgotten about it.

On the morning of the first day of the new year, it was drizzling, and I was half-lying on the bed in a down jacket, and this unexpected rain gave me a reason not to go out to pay my respects. In fact, there is nothing to worship, except for my grandmother, I have no relatives and elders at all, and Jiang Jiyou is the only son in the family, because of this, I hate him even more, he left so irresponsibly, and my grandmother and I were helpless in this city.

Grandma had already gotten up, she boiled red date soup, and then sent it to my room, she understood my current mood, just told me to get up and put incense on firecrackers, and then left my house.

I listened to the sound of falling rain and drank the soup from the bowl. I didn't stay in the bed for long, and after putting on my clothes and washing, I saluted the incense and walked to a clearing not far from the alley with firecrackers.

Watching the firecrackers explode in the air, my mood also ups and downs, I don't dislike the New Year, but I hate this rain, but I don't know why, from childhood to adulthood, the weather on the first day of the new year every year doesn't seem to be very good, this kind of bad weather really ruins the mood, especially when there is no one around.

In a trance, the time was already half past ten in the morning, and the sky was still raining

On a normal day, the alley would be very quiet, but because it was the first day of the new year, there were people walking around the alley all the time, saying "Happy New Year" to each other and going back and forth here.

I raised my hand and looked at my watch, Xiao Ai should have rushed to the airport at this moment, if I sat for another ten minutes, I would never have a chance to send her off.

I was full of pain in this struggle, and the bits and pieces of being together were swirling in my mind with pain, and I was once again on the verge of not being able to control myself.

Another sound of firecrackers came from outside the house, and I finally let go of my baggage, and said to my grandmother, who was watching TV, "I may not come back for dinner at noon", and then ran out of the courtyard, and before I reached the alley, my hand had already taken out the car keys from my pocket.

I ran to the convenience store again, and once again I was a man of my word, and I bought a corn for four dollars, and I wanted to give it to her, hoping that it would be in time