After a while, the rain outside the window turned from heavy to small, and the streets that were still unusually deserted just now were filled with more people with umbrellas, walking on the damp streets, not seeing any purpose, they were all simple gestures, and the world became a lot more refreshing, and the rain seemed to wash away a lot of dust...... So much so that for a moment I had the illusion that there had never been so much suffering between me and Xiao Ai, and we went back to the early autumn when we just met, and everything was as good as a fairy tale.

In the mutual silence between Xiao Ai and me, the coffee shop owner turned on all the lights, and he gave us a bright environment, but our hearts could not be opened, and I was still anxiously waiting for her answer if she would return to China with me.

I don't know why, but now I have less and less confidence in myself, and I always feel that she will not easily do anything for me or follow me.

Under the faint yellow light, she finally raised her head to look at me and whispered to me: "Jiang Qiao, you go back to China by yourself, and then live well, with me, you will not get the happiness you imagined...... It's been two years, and it has taken us so much effort to adapt to life without each other, don't let the pain of the past happen to us again, we will all be unbearable! ”

"Adjusting to life without each other? I'm sorry...... I haven't gotten used to it yet, otherwise I wouldn't have come to you. Do you know? Even though I have numbed myself over and over again and told myself a lot of truths about life, the last person I think about is still you......" Speaking of this, my heart was like a knife, so that I calmed down for a moment before I said: "If you could experience one-tenth of my mood back then, you wouldn't have walked so chic...... After you're gone, I'm on the verge of collapse every day. If it weren't for the fact that I had experienced life and death since I was a child, and I still had some psychological capacity, I really didn't think I had the ability to live until now, and then let you ruthlessly stick a knife in my heart......"

At this point, my emotions were out of control, and I almost trembled, and said to her again, "Are you really willing to hurt me so much?" …… If you are willing, then you will kill me now and give me a hundred, or I will hate you for a day if I live for a day! ”

Xiao Ai avoided my gaze, the moment she looked out the window, she closed her eyes again, tears fell from her eyes, every drop seemed to be full of exhaustion and pain, and I seemed to have become a person she couldn't communicate, all my grievances and persistence became her burden, making her look very unhappy.

This time, it took ten minutes before she said to me, "I don't want to go back to China, at least until my dad is released from prison." Jiangqiao ...... Don't let me bother you anymore, okay? …… I know that a month before my grandmother died, you went to Taipei to find me, and I feel very guilty that you didn't leave all your time to your grandmother who depends on you for an unworthy person...... So you must cherish those who have been by your side and have never left, not a woman like me! ”

I looked at her, and suddenly felt very strange in my heart, in my memory, she would always say "yes" to me, I said where to go, she said yes; I said what to eat, and she said yes...... But today, she has said too much no to me.

But I don't know if I've changed in her mind, or if she's changed herself.

I finally spoke to her and said, "Okay, I'll listen to everything you say, but I only have one request...... You and I went back to Nanjing once, and we went to see my grandmother together, and then you said what you just told me to her tombstone...... If you can still speak by then, I'll let you go. ”

This time, Xiao Ai didn't avoid my gaze again, she looked at me for a long time before saying, "If you think that we have to find a result in this way, then I will go back with you." ”

After reaching this agreement, I went to the bar to settle the expenses of myself and Xiao Ai, and then we left the café that once belonged to Su Han. The city that has stopped raining is still very wet, and there are many couples who have dropped their umbrellas and leaned on each other on the road, and there seems to be only a distance between me and Xiao Ai on the whole street, but I am obviously very close to her.

……

This night, Xiao Ai and I stayed in two rooms in the same hotel, this is the first time since I went abroad, say goodbye to the feeling of wandering, but this does not mean that I can sleep soundly, I am not sure if Xiao Ai is to cope with me, only to agree to return to China with me to worship grandma. Chances are, by tomorrow, she'll give me another goodbye without saying goodbye, and that's what she's best at.

Thinking of this, I immediately jumped off the guardrail, then packed my luggage, dragged my suitcase out of the room where I was staying, and went to the floor manager who could speak Chinese and asked him to help me check out.

After all this was done, I stood at Xiao Ai's door, and without much hesitation, I knocked on her door. She didn't respond, and I kept banging a second and third time until she appeared in front of me in a bathrobe with wet hair wrapped in a towel.

She looked at the box I was dragging in my hand and asked me with some surprise, "Are you going back to China early?" ”

"Don't think about being so beautiful, if I don't take you, I won't return to China, where you are, my heart is there."

I said as I tried to push her away and into her room. She was very resistant and reached out to stop me, and said, "This is my room, what are you going to do?" ”

"Have you ever heard the story of the wolf? You're the immoral kid who lies in my heart, and I don't trust you anymore, so I have to sleep in a room with you tonight...... I know in my heart that this is not appropriate, but when it comes to you, I am very confident...... So you get out of the way and let me go in and stay. ”

Xiao Ai pushed me and said, "Jiang Qiao, do you know how you look like a bastard now?" ”

"Bastard? …… I'm telling you, you've been forced to get to where I am today, and there's nothing I don't dare to do...... I want to have a pair of handcuffs now, and I will definitely lock us together without hesitation, and then eat, drink, and Lazar together......"

"You vulgar!"

"I'm not only vulgar, I'm dirty...... Get out of the way and let me in, my room has just been vacated, and we'll stay together tonight......"

"What are you?"

I finally stopped attacking, then looked at her and said, "If you really think it's inappropriate for me to do this, then you can find a way to dispel the doubts in my heart, so that I don't become such a bastard, and make me willing to respect you morally in terms of men and women...... Otherwise, in your room, I will sleep today, not only today, but also tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. ”

Since we met, Xiao Ai, who has always had the upper hand, was completely suppressed by me at this moment, she looked at me a little speechless, so I took another step to attack, seized a moment of her distraction, and then took the opportunity to sneak into her room.

I knew she wouldn't use anything drastic against me, because we weren't there. I believe that she loves me in her bones, but the love is heavier, and once love becomes heavy, it will give people a great psychological burden, and then they can't distinguish right from wrong.

Once in the room, I put my suitcase in the cabinet next to the bed and lay down on my back on the only large bed in the room.

My offensive posture made Xiao Ai very uncomfortable, she just stood by the bed and walked, and she didn't walk.

I said to her again: "I know what you are thinking now, but you better dispel this thought, because I don't plan to do anything today, so I will stare at you to death, you have to have the ability, like a monster into a cloud of smoke and fly out, or you will lie on the bed honestly, the bottom line I can accept is that I sleep at the head of the bed and you sleep at the end of the bed, and no one can sleep on the sofa." ”

Xiao Ai looked at me helplessly, then sighed softly and said, "Why are you doing this? ”

"Why don't you ask yourself what you did first, I'd rather be hated by you and gnash my teeth than be humbled in front of you to the dust." With that, I left the bed, then stood in front of her, looked at her wearing only a bathrobe, and said, "Am I upsetting you now?" I remember when you used to upset me, you would lift your leg and put it on my shoulder. I just don't know if you have neglected to practice in the past two years, maintain your previous flexibility, if you can still do the same as before, let me feel that you are still the same you used to be, not so fickle, I will leave immediately...... I'm just asking for that, can you do it? ”

"You don't come here, don't you just want to take advantage of me? …… I really don't know how many dirty thoughts you had in your heart before you entered this room, you weren't like this before. ”

"I used to spoil you so much that I didn't care about my feelings because I cared about what you thought. I'm wise now, and I don't care at all that you think of me as obscene and shameless. ”

Xiao Ai glanced at me, and lost the motivation to continue talking to me, she went back to the bathroom, and then locked the door from the inside, but this isolation gave me an extraordinary sense of solidity. Even if I can only vaguely see her shadow, I feel that she is locked in my heart, and what I am most afraid of is that she will not say goodbye.

I exhaled heavily, then lit a cigarette, opened the curtains, and stood in front of the massive floor-to-ceiling window, which was almost the size of the wall. The next moment, I had half of the city in my eyes, and I saw a lot of passers-by and light on the ground, and I gradually emptied myself......

And during the time of this cigarette, I received a message from Yang Qu and Qiao Ye, although they didn't say anything in the message, but I had a feeling of seeing a watershed. Just like the curtain I have just opened, another life with good and bad is slowly unfolding along the trajectory of my life.

I will lose some people because of this, and I will also gain people to cherish!