In the wind and rain, the distance between me and her is getting closer and closer, and my thousand words are only condensed into a sentence of "child", which is the emotion I want to express the most in my heart, because all my doubts are dispelled because she once conceived a child for me, and I must give her a future.

I hugged her desperately, but the rain melted before us, and the only consciousness I had left drove me to hold her tighter and tighter, and I was speechless, and I was indulging in all the touches she could give me. It took me two years to get to this moment, and I have completely ignored whether she wants to be with me or not, and I feel that meeting here is already the greatest fate that God has given us, and we should be together.

I don't know how long this hug lasted, and when I let go of her, the rain seemed to have lightened, and I held her somewhat cold hand, and there was a sour feeling in my nose, and I lost the ability to express my emotions, so I kept watching her...... At this moment, I just want to go into her heart and take a look, and then never come out again.

She finally let go of my hand, took out a tissue from her bag and handed it to me, motioning for me to wipe the rain off my face, I took it from her hand, wiped it clean, smiled and said to her, "I've been looking for you for a long time...... I really wanted to talk, but I didn't know how to express my feelings, I never felt that hell and heaven could be converted in an instant......"

She seems to have a more complicated heart than I do, so she hasn't spoken......

"Xiao Ai."

"Xiao Ai."

"Ruan Ruyi......"

I called her three times in a row, and I didn't know what her mood was, but I made myself believe that it was the woman standing in front of me at the moment that made me think about it, we had only known each other for three years, but it seemed that we had been linked for a lifetime.

She finally said to me, "Then do you think you are in hell or heaven now...... and she looked around, and said, "I have been to Rome no less than five times in the past two years, and only this time it rained so much, and the wind blew quite frighteningly!" ”

I defended, "But for me, it's heaven!" No matter how much rain it rains or how windy it blows, it's paradise, as long as you're in ...... We didn't meet by chance, you came here on purpose, did you? ”

"Let's find a place to sit down first, just the café that Su Han used to open here, it's quite close to here."

……

I held the umbrella for Xiao Ai, she leaned against me, and we walked together in the wind and rain, and the café where Su Han used to be was at the end of the street.

This café is composed of two façade rooms, the door is blue, the walls are white, and there is a flower bed made of trees hollowed out in front of the door. For example, the tables and chairs are all arranged in a triangular shape, and a swallow-shaped kite is hung at the bar counter. But the owner has become an Italian young man, and the only clerk is his girlfriend, who regards this half-selling, half-free coffee shop as their only tool to make ends meet, so they run it with extra care.

Xiao Ai and I sat down in the closest place to the big bookcase, and after we ordered our drinks, we all fell into a brief silence, except for the sound of the rain, the sound of the female clerk standing on the big ladder and wiping the bookcase. This bookcase is really big, its top has been flush with the roof, and each book in it is hand-picked by the boss, full of life and philosophical meaning.

After a while, the boss brought me and Xiao Ai what we ordered, and we drank all beer. This time, it was still me who spoke first, and I asked her, "Where have you been all this time?" ”

"After I left Ireland and went to the United States, I plan to go back to school for a while...... This time I came to Rome because I wanted to meet you, and I heard from Sister Meihui (her agent when she debuted in Taiwan) that you were looking for me. ”

I couldn't contain the excitement in my heart, put down the beer bottle, grabbed her hand again, and said to her, "I'm going to find her, and if I really find the right one, I know you're going to get in touch with her...... She should tell you everything, I have broken off my engagement with Jin Qiu, I just want to be with you wholeheartedly, you and I should go back to China. We forget everything that has happened in the past two years, and we are together with simple ideals as before, just to live for love and life. ”

Xiao Ai looked at me with a complicated look, and she asked, "Tell me, how can I forget everything that has happened in the past two years?" …… Yuan Zhen is dead, you are no longer the same Jiangqiao as before, and I am not the Xiao Ai I used to be......"

Her words, as if my heart fell from the high altitude to the trough, I waited for this day, definitely not for such a result, I said to her: "What you say now, I don't want to believe a word, you should know, what did I give up everything and come to these countries that made me lose my ability to communicate...... I love you so much and you are the woman I must not lose in my life......"

After a pause, my mood became even more sad, and I said to her in a low voice: "Do you know that Yuan Zhen once wrote a letter to Yao Yu? ”

"I didn't know before, but I knew that he had feelings for Yao Yu, but he died, and I didn't dare to tell Yao Yu about this, because it was more painful for her to really exist in her heart as a negative man than Yuan Zhen...... All these pains of hers are caused by me, I am a guilty person, if it were not for me, Yuan Zhen would not have died! ”

I looked at her who was getting more and more painful, and there was an indescribable pain in my heart, although Yuan Zhen's death was an unexpected accident, but if it hadn't been for the fire that prompted him to leave with Xiao Ai, then he must be alive and well now. In the final analysis, it was the fire that changed the fate of too many people, so this is Xiao Ai's heart disease that is difficult to heal.

After a moment of silence, I finally said to her in a deep voice: "I don't know if Sister Meihui told you that in the letter that Yuan Zhen wrote to Yao Yu, in addition to expressing her feelings for Yao Yu. The more important information is: You conceived a child for me, but the child was not saved...... This news was so shocking to me, I felt that the pain that had been in the past had become worthless in the face of this news. I know you left with bitterness; I know that you have always had me in your heart...... Can you put yourself in my shoes now and think about how I felt when I knew this? ……”

Xiao Ai looked at me, and she was waiting for me to continue.

I wiped my hands across my face, and then, with a slight smile, continued, "I was crazy, I only had one thought left in my head, that I had to find you, no matter how difficult it was...... Therefore, I gave up going back to Shenzhen with my mother to meet my relatives on the other side, and I also gave up my marriage contract with Jin Qiu, and gave up the company where the employees had high hopes, and then I quickly applied for a visa to Belgium, and then went to Rome...... I'm sure you'll come, so every night before I go to bed, I think about the scene we met a hundred times, and that's the only motivation for me to keep going...... I sat right next to the Trevi Fountain, from day to night, and after countless disappointments, you finally stood in front of me, and I said nothing that would let you go again...... Xiao Ai, I really don't want much, as long as I can stand at the door of the convenience store and wait for me like before, I feel like the whole world is mine! …… Only if you are by my side, I will feel grounded! ”

After I said this, Xiao Ai shifted her gaze from me, she looked out the window, and the rain never stopped, just like our mood, until the bright sunshine, we were about to get moldy.

After a long time, she had not spoken, and reached out to write a few words on the steamy window...... She has such a habit, and when I used to open a "mood coffee shop", she also liked to take an eyebrow pencil or lipstick or something like that, and write a few words on the glass window to greet me.

But this time, she wrote words that I couldn't read, and I didn't know what she was trying to say. Just as I was trying to figure it out, she stood up with a gesture of wanting to leave, and then said to me, "Jiang Qiao, there is indeed a child between us...... I have always tried to keep him (her), even during the treatment of my eyes, I used a lot of drugs, I want to keep him (her)...... However, my physical condition became worse and worse after Yuan Zhen's death, and I suffered from severe depression, so I was unable to save our children...... As far as children are concerned, I am also a sinner, and I am even more sorry for you, I have made you live in pain all the time...... I used to be optimistic that after I left, you still have Chen Yi and Jin Qiu by your side, and no matter you are with any of them, you will be happier than with me...... It's that I didn't respect your feelings for me...... Now, it's time for me to pay for my self-righteousness, I don't deserve your love. ”

She said this with tears in her eyes, and without looking at me again, she picked up her umbrella that she had hung from the window and prepared to leave...... She only took one step, and my heart tugged.

I couldn't control myself, grabbed her, and then pressed her against the wall, the movement was so loud that I brought down the folding table closest to us, and the beer we just drank spilled on the ground, coupled with the rain outside that refused to stop, the world seemed to have become liquid, it can be square or round, and my body and I are the container for these liquids, I am square, she is round, and life and death cannot be perfect......

She would not have known that what I feared most was not the calamities between us, but the fact that our hearts were already too far apart.

At this moment, the Italian couple who were cleaning up in the café were attracted by the movement we made and then cast a surprised look at us......

Xiao Ai was pressed against the wall by me and couldn't move, and I said to her in a hoarse voice: "Believe it or not, if you dare to step out of this coffee shop, I will break your leg and raise you for the rest of your ......life."

Xiao Ai tried to push me away again, but I didn't move, she finally gave up, and then said to me angrily: "Jiang Qiao, do you know that you look like a crazy person now? ”

I pressed her face and whispered, "I'm just a madman, driven crazy by you...... I'll give you a chance now, you call the police, get those cops to come with guns, and shoot me...... To die in front of you, I also feel that I have walked so much! ”

Xiao Ai bit her lip and looked at me, I grabbed her shoulders with both hands and gave her a distance enough to suffocate, I admitted that I had lost my mind at this moment, and I could no longer express my feelings in a normal state.

The next moment, the owner of the coffee shop came running, he thought I was a crazy person and was hurting Xiao Ai, he quickly picked up a chair from the ground, raised his hand and smashed it on my back......

I can feel it, but I don't want to hide at all, because the pain of ** will relieve the pain in my heart...... In this life, what I am most afraid of is not death, but not being able to be with the people I love.

But the imaginary pain did not come, and Xiao Ai used his arms to protect my back. I couldn't imagine how much it hurt to her, and she didn't show much pain, but just said a few words of Italian to the owner of the coffee shop that I didn't understand, and cleared up his misunderstanding of me.

But when I rolled up her sleeves, I noticed that there was a large bruise on her arm, and I looked up, unable to hold back my tears.

Instead of torturing her, I took her in my arms and whispered to her, "Don't think about leaving, okay?" …… We are the closest people in the world, and if we can't be together, what's the point of living? …… Don't think about what kind of sinner you are anymore, Yuan Zhen's death is not your sin, if there is a next life, we will go to be cattle and horses together to repay his kindness, but in this life we must be together, so that Yuan Zhen lived for you for half of his life...... He must be the one who wants you to be happy the most, and your current self-torture will make everything he does to you meaningless...... Do you understand? ”

Xiao Ai couldn't cry, she finally took the initiative to meet my hug for the first time, and I felt the fragility and self-blame in her heart at this moment...... She indirectly harmed Yuan Zhen for me, and this kind of psychological pain is definitely not something that can be overcome in a few words.

I hugged her tighter, and I whispered in her ear again in the sound of rain: "Come back to China with me, I have always suspected that the fire was **, let's find out the truth together, so that the person who lost his conscience can get the punishment he deserves, which is the best explanation for Yuan Zhen and Yao Yu...... We are also victims of that fire, we didn't have a choice, these tragedies have already happened, and it is the murderer who really has the right to choose, but he chose to hurt viciously...... The one who is really guilty is him, not us, we are all good people, and this is the only one that has not changed in us! ”