As we walked around the school, everything was as close as I expected. For example, the wind blows very lightly, the sunset is lazily scattered in every corner, and the most beautiful is the fountain in the center of the square, and the slogan "Don't relax, don't despise" is engraved on the white sculpture in the center of the fountain. As soon as the wind blew, the hope of youth spread in this school with the sound of reading aloud...... But here, it's not me, and it's not Xiao Ai's paradise. Here, there are only children's pursuit of freedom and dreams that have not set sail......

After a while, we came to Xiao Fang's class, and the teacher who was teaching told us that Xiao Fang was in the school's piano room, receiving individual instruction from Feng Yuan, and that she was going to represent the school in another international children's piano competition that was more authoritative than the "Xinghai Cup".

After knowing Xiao Ai's identity, she chatted with Xiao Ai with great interest for a while. Tell Xiao Ai that Xiao Fang was specially recruited into their school last year. In the future, I will be guaranteed to go to a better junior high school or even university. But the premise is that she can't give up chasing her piano dream, and a child like her born in a poor family is the only way out.

The reason why she said this to Xiao Ai is because Xiao Fang's recent training state is not very good, and she hopes that Xiao Ai can persuade Xiao Fang more, and hopes that Xiao Fang can maintain a good state and win this honor for the school that she has never gotten.

……

On the way to the piano room, I finally said to Xiao Ai: "The piano instrument has indeed changed Xiaofang's life, but it has also made her lose the joy of childhood. Hearing it, Xiao Fang seems to have become a tool for the school to obtain honors, and they have been instilling such concepts in Xiao Fang, and she must be under a lot of pressure...... She was originally a child who would be self-isolated, and it was not conducive to her psychological construction under such pressure. I think it's normal for her to train badly......"

Xiao Ai looked at me, but did not express his opinion. So, I asked her again: "Back then, when you taught her to learn the piano, how did you take care of her psychological construction?" At that time, she didn't seem to have any rejection, and she was much more cheerful than before. ”

Xiao Ai replied: "At that time, she was still young, as long as she told her that after winning the competition, she would have new clothes to wear, delicious food, and new toys, plus she was interested in the piano, so it was easy to find satisfaction in the piano...... But now, you still tell her that these are useless......" Speaking of this, Xiao Ai thought for a while, and then said: "When I was a child, I also experienced this stage when I was learning piano, and I wanted to run when I saw the piano, and then my mother let me rest for half a year, until I had a ** I wanted to practice again...... However, for me, the piano is not the only way out, even if I don't choose to touch the piano for the rest of my life, it's nothing, but she can't......"

I fell into silence, presumably Xiaofang, who has independent thinking, has also recognized this, so there is a struggle and resistance. However, as a weak child like her, what is the point of that pitiful struggle and resistance even if it is displayed?

When the pressure of social interests and the so-called honor is pressed on her, all she can do is self-digestion. She had no other choice...... It's no wonder that she misses Xiao Ai so much, and misses the days when she was in the "Aiqiao Piano Shop". At that time, she was just working hard for interest and good food, but now she is trying to survive and find a way out. Not to mention a child, even if it is an adult, always living in this fear that if you don't do well, you will have a future, and you will gradually collapse!

……

After a while, we came to the piano shop, and Xiao Ai and I had a tacit understanding that we were not alarmed, but looked into the piano room through the window. At this moment, in addition to Xiao Fang, there are several other children who have high hopes in the piano room, Xiao Fang is sitting among them, not particularly conspicuous, but he is the one who looks the most anxious, and his state is indeed not good. Feng Yuan beside her stands to reason that she has been with her for longer than Xiao Ai, but at the moment, she feels a little unable to control her. I saw that Feng Yuan had a sulky expression on her face, and she couldn't say more.

I then clasped the glass window with my fingers, Feng Yuan found me and Xiao Ai first, and the next moment, Xiao Fang also found us. This scene is the same as I imagined in advance, Xiao Fang ran out of the piano room desperately and hugged Xiao Ai, who had not seen her for two years and had been with her for eating, drinking and sleeping.

Xiao Fang shouted "Teacher", and the suppressed emotions exploded in an instant, she laughed and sobbed...... At this moment, Xiao Ai is a big tree that can shelter from the wind and rain in her eyes.

I called Feng Yuan, who came out later, to the side, and when it was convenient to speak, I said to her with a little complaint: "What's the matter with you, for a piano competition, you made the child look like this, she has autism, others don't know, don't you know?" You shouldn't pass on such utilitarian values to her, she's not old enough to bear them! ”

Feng Yuan said to me a little aggrieved: "Of course I know what you said, I am enough to protect her, but in addition to me, she still has to contact with others, no matter which school she goes to, it is like this, I really want to take her with me 24 hours a day, but do you think it is practical?" Moreover, she always has to integrate into this society, and being overprotective is also a harm, and it is not a bad thing to recognize some facts as soon as possible, although the process is a bit painful! ”

I looked at Xiao Fang, and I felt helpless in my heart. Feng Yuan is right, she was born humblely, and she has no other choice. If she wasn't particularly talented in piano, she would have no chance to enter the prestigious school where Feng Yuan worked, she could only finish primary school in a migrant children's school, and then choose an ordinary junior high school to continue her studies...... Therefore, most teachers will teach her to know how to be satisfied and grateful, and who will care about what is in her heart.

Xiao Ai hugged Xiaofang, and after coaxing for a while, she stabilized her mood. And Feng Yuan and I also returned to their side. Xiao Ai said to Feng Yuan with some apologies: "Teacher Feng, Xiaofang has bothered you all these years. ”

Feng Yuan smiled, and then asked sharply: "You tell me like this, can it show that you still have a sense of responsibility for Xiaofang in your heart?" ”

After Xiao Ai was silent for a while, he replied: "Yes, but it's more guilty, I really didn't fulfill my responsibility as a teacher back then." ”

Feng Yuan sighed softly, and after a long while, he asked again: "Where have you been in the past few years, but you can worry about Xiaofang's child!" ”

"I studied at Berkeley for two years."

Xiao Fang beside her sighed: "Teacher Xiao, you are already so powerful, do you want to study again?" ”

Xiao Ai smiled and replied: "Of course you have to learn, there is no end to the road of art." So you're going to have to come on, you know? ”

"Well, I'll do my best...... By the way, Mr. Xiao, did Boss Jiang tell you that I want to invite you to the Xinghai Cup to be a guest performer? I'm looking forward to performing with you and letting you see my progress. ”

Xiao Ai looked at me, and then replied softly, "Boss Jiang, he has already told me...... However, Xiaofang ...... The teacher can't accompany you to the Xinghai Cup this time......"

Xiao Fang's eyes were full of disappointment, and she seemed unwilling to accept this fact, so much so that it took a long time to reply: "Is it because you are a big star now?" A lot of teachers told me that you would go, but I still wanted you to come with me, and I waited for a long time......"

Xiao Ai's eyes were a little moist, maybe in the eyes of others, this was not a very important thing, and he could go or refuse. However, we all understand how much weight such expectations can weigh in the heart of a child who has had autism.

Xiao Ai squatted down, she gently touched Xiaofang's head, and then said to her apologetically: "Xiaofang, the teacher can't go, it has nothing to do with whether he is a star or not." I'm really happy for you to see how much you've improved now...... If you have time, the teacher will definitely accompany you, but there are too many helplessness and trade-offs in the adult world, and one day you will understand. ”

Xiao Fang was silent, obviously unable to get out of her disappointment. So, after a while, Xiao Ai took the initiative to ask her again: "Listen to your teacher, you have passed the selection of the China Division of the International Piano Competition, and you will go to Hamamatsu, Japan to participate in the competition in October, right?" ”

"Well, but I'm really tired, tired! Each of them said that if I didn't win this award, the school would not pay attention to me in the future and give me a place to be sent to a good school...... But I really can't hold on! ”

Xiao Ai looked at Feng Yuan, Feng Yuan nodded, and replied: "There is indeed this statement, because the guaranteed places in each school are very limited and precious, and most of them are to be given to related households. And this international competition can be said to be the most important thing for the school in recent years, if it can win the award, the guaranteed place will be considered a safe place. ”

Xiao Ai's expression was a little heavy, and after a while, she said to Xiao Fang: "Xiao Fang, you don't have to have such a heavy psychological burden, and you don't have to think about any guaranteed places, this competition is just for the teacher, and make a dream come true for the teacher, okay?" ......" Speaking of this, Xiao Ai smiled and said to her, "I once went to Hamamatsu to participate in a piano competition, but I didn't win it...... It was the first and only time in my life that I didn't win a prize. You are my student, if you can win an award for me, I can also be very proud to tell others in the future that I have won all the piano competition awards, and the most difficult one is the one that my most proud student won for me, which will be more meaningful than what I got myself, because piano performance itself is an art form that has been passed down from generation to generation. ”

Xiao Fang asked a little disbelievingly, "You really didn't get the award in Hamamatsu?" ”

"It's true...... Are you willing to make up for this regret for the teacher? ”

This time, Xiao Fang said almost without hesitation: "Well, I am willing...... But will you ever come back? ”

"Maybe......"

Xiao Ai said and glanced at Xiao Fang vigorously, then she picked up the suitcase beside her, and after overcoming the difficulty of leaving, she whispered to Xiao Fang: "Xiao Fang, don't take the piano as your own burden, you have to treat it as your partner, so that when you communicate with it, you will find a lot of fun in communication...... Don't be afraid of not having a good school to attend...... The teacher can assure you that as long as you are always kind and have a pursuit of art. When you reach adulthood, your teacher will send you to Berklee to continue your education, which is the highest temple of musical arts! ”

Xiao Fang nodded heavily. Xiao Ai also turned around at this time and walked towards the road she came, her every step was full of determination, but she did not say goodbye to anyone present. And until this time, I hadn't figured out where she was going......

Xiao Fang burst into tears and wanted to chase Xiao Ai, but she couldn't move, because she knew that she couldn't chase back a person who insisted on leaving. He just kept saying, "Teacher, you want to come back...... You must come back......" is exactly how I feel at the moment, and the words that I can't say.

……

At the gate of the school, I caught up with Xiao Ai, who was about to get in the car and leave, and then grabbed her suitcase, but I couldn't find a reason to leave her.

She was looking at me, and the taxi driver looked at her, asking twice in a row if she could leave.

I don't know where the power came from, I let the taxi driver go on my own initiative, Xiao Ai looked at me with a little resentment, and said to me: "I'm running out of time...... You let go. ”

"Where are you going this time?"

Xiao Ai replied cleanly: "Abroad...... Hurry up, don't delay my flight! ”

The more she struggled, the more anxious I became, and I was finally on the verge of losing control, and said to her, "Can't you just ask why I didn't go to Shenzhen and waited for you here for an afternoon?" ……”

"Can you change anything?"

"If you don't ask, you can't change anything...... I'll tell you the truth. Last night, my sister went to Ji Xiaowei's bar, and her friend showed her the video of you singing, and she showed me again...... I don't need to say what happened in the video, you should know better than I do...... In the six months since you came back, I have received too much messy truth about you and Yuan Zhen's departure, and my head has been dizzy. For me, it's bullshit from other people...... What I want is for you to open up to me and tell me the reason and the truth about my departure...... Also, have you ever married Yuan Zhen? Is there any agreement between you? ”

Xiao Ai looked at me, his expression was full of pain and struggle, and finally said to me decisively: "It doesn't matter why you left back then...... But I can answer the matter between me and Yuan Zhen, we did get married, and I also conceived a child for him...... But...... However, they couldn't save ...... So, if you die of this heart, hurry up and go to Shenzhen to find your relatives...... I'm not worth your time, and I'm not worth your time against the world......"

I looked at her, and gradually lost the strength in my hands to grab her luggage, but my heart ached, and then I died...... She was pregnant with a child for Yuan Zhen...... She actually conceived a child for Yuan Zhen! …… Then what else is there to question about my Jiangqiao?

……

The world was turned upside down like this, I became a weak person as a man, Xiao Ai just used a force to push away the stunned me. Then he got into another taxi without looking back.

Even if that video was a true expression of her emotions, I couldn't say anything about her. Because I am not Qiu Zi'an, I want a lot in the relationship between men and women.

When I sat back in the shade of the tree waiting for her, my heart really felt like dead, I felt that I had been hurt by her too deeply, I couldn't face the world happily, loneliness, the chilling loneliness, gradually swallowed me...... Devoured me, bitter ghost!

I raised my head, let the tears that were about to fall flow back, and then dialed Yang Qu's phone. Tell her that at nine o'clock, I will go to Shenzhen with her, and there will be no more changes......

It wasn't until Ji Xiaowei's BMW car went and returned, and it wasn't until he and Yao Yu appeared in front of me that I felt my presence. I don't know, whether they came to me or Xiao Ai...... But it doesn't matter anymore, because what should be gone will still go, and what should be painful will not be less at all......