On the way to Shanghai, the driver drove the car as fast as possible, and Jin Qiu and I both sat in the back. This car belongs to Yang Jin, so there is still a cup for her to drink water in the storage compartment in the back seat, which is a very ordinary kind of glass. But what does that mean?

I would never be naïve to think that she was still the simple Yang Jin more than ten years ago. Even I don't believe it, at this moment, the Mercedes-Benz car that Jin Qiu and I are riding in is worth more than 3 million, which is not something that ordinary rich people can afford. So how can I still admit that the picture of her holding five cents or a dollar to let me buy something to eat more than ten years ago is real.

I should understand that in these long ten years, she has her own life, and I have it, although we are mother and son, we have already been divided into two extremes in this dye-vat society.

Thinking about it, I was a little tired, so I closed my eyes and stopped paying attention to Yang Jin and her, a car that I didn't like.

After a 20-minute break, I finally received a reply from Ade, who said that he would leave for Hsinchu County to find Xiao Ai immediately, and he also said that he would call me as soon as there was news.

Later, he sent me another message and asked, "Ah Qiao Ye, if I see Ruyi in Hsinchu County, would you like to give her a few words for you?" ”

I thought about it for a while and replied, "You sue her, you must wait for Jiangqiao for a few days." I especially wanted to meet her and had a lot to say to her. ”

"No problem, I'll bring it to you...... But Aqiao, why do you still want to stay on the mainland during such a critical period? I'm really afraid that Ruyi has left Hsinchu. If she happens to leave today, you won't regret it for the rest of your life! ”

I sighed at this message, and then replied for a long time: "I'm afraid that if I don't fulfill my filial piety, I won't have many opportunities in the future." ”

"You're really living a good life...... It feels like you've never really lived for yourself! ”

I read this message, but I didn't reply in the end. I tossed my phone aside and looked at the window-filtered world, which looked a little dim, and I was just a wanderer in the world. I can't get close to Yang Jin, and I can't get close to Xiao Ai...... I have no lover and no mother!

In my silence, Jin Qiu, who didn't speak all the way, finally asked me, "What is the relationship between the policeman we went to the hospital just now and you?" ”

He was responsible for investigating the fire at the piano shop...... However, he was hit by a car last night, and the fire case will soon be closed because he can no longer participate. But I'm more concerned about whether he can recover and be a person who walks freely, and I don't want anyone to be hurt by this...... Jin Qiu, tell me, if this car accident was a premeditated murder incident, how terrible is the greed and cruelty of human nature? ”

Jin Qiu looked at me and replied after a moment: "The reason why you feel terrible is because you are the party this time. Do you still feel so scared when you look at a similar case with a cold eye? …… Really, Jiang Qiao, this world has never been peaceful, and not everyone will live according to the model you envisioned. If someone is selfless, there must be someone who is greedy, so the material in this world is always opposite...... We should be glad that we live in an era of peace, if you live in the fire of war, you are a piece of meat on the chopping board, and you don't even have a chance to understand. But is war really far away for us? …… This is not far off, as the end of the Second World War is only a few decades away, causing tens of millions of casualties...... But this is not a dream, it is all a fact poured out of blood. And doesn't this qiē start with the fact that human beings will never stop doing so? ”

I looked at Jin Qiu, and after a while, I replied, "Why do you use war to make the framework of justice and evil so big!" …… I just want to talk to you about the present. ”

"I don't mean anything in particular, I just think your way of looking at things has always been limited...... When you open your eyes to it, you will find that the pain you are suffering is really too insignificant in the long river of history, and we must not live for pain. ”

"Yes...... People who have learned to look at the world and human nature have basically succeeded with a ruthless heart...... But I would rather be happy and sad in the cold and warm world of these people, I think this is the real life...... Sadly, you and Yang Jin must never have experienced this kind of truth. Because you are the kind of people who only look at the world with their eyes. Yes, compared to this fucking world, the little pain and responsibility of people is a fart, you can chase fame and fortune with peace of mind, and turn a blind eye to your relatives and friends in the darkest place in your heart, and then forget! ”

Jin Qiu looked at me with a very complicated look, and only replied after a while: "Jiang Qiao, Auntie is not what you think, she has a bitter ......"

I interrupted her rudely, exclaiming, "She's not like that, what about you?" What are you like? …… After so many years, what do you think of my Jiangqiao? …… Is it your shortcut and pedal to success? ”

My anger even affected the driver who was driving in front of him, who slowed down and looked at me and Jin Qiu in the rearview mirror of the car.

Jin Qiu shifted her gaze from me, she leaned heavily on the back of her chair, and then whispered back, "You can think whatever you like...... I can also understand that in your heart, except for Xiao Ai, everyone is full of malice towards you, and everyone makes you feel sorry for yourself! ”

I didn't have the mood or energy to turn this conversation into a quarrel with Jin Qiu, I chose to be silent again, and I didn't say a word to Jin Qiu until I got off the highway, and she was the same. I have a strong premonition that sooner or later, because of our different positions, we will become strangers one day!

……

Back at the hospital, my grandmother had already completed her first chemotherapy treatment and I found the attending physician. He told me that because it was the first time, the adverse reactions after chemotherapy were not obvious, but the patients would be more and more painful in the future, especially the elderly who had severely degraded their physical functions like my grandmother. He wants those of us who are family members to be by her side more, to be her spiritual support, and to give her the confidence to fight the most cruel disease in her life.

Pushing open the door of the ward, Yang Jin was sitting next to her grandmother, her mental state seemed to be worse than that of her grandmother, obviously because she waited for me last night and stayed awake all night.

I didn't look at Yang Jin with my eyes, I just stood beside my grandmother, then held her hand and asked, "Grandma, are you feeling okay, is there anything uncomfortable?" ”

Grandma smiled effortlessly and replied: "This is the first chemotherapy treatment, grandma must be able to eat, you can rest assured......" After a slight pause, she asked with concern: "Didn't you say that you were going to Taipei to find Xiao Ai's girl, why haven't you left yet?" ”

"I can't rest assured of you, so I want to stay in Shanghai and stay with you for a few more days."

"With so many people in Shanghai, you are not the only one...... Hurry up and go to Taipei, this matter can't be delayed, grandma is really afraid of variables! ”

I felt gloomy in my heart, in fact, there were already variables, Xiao Ai had already had a wedding with Yuan Zhen at this moment, and I didn't know in a daze what capacity to go to her and how to redeem it. It's just that I'm instinctively driven to go to Hsinchu County to find her......

At this time, my grandmother slapped me again and urged, "What are you still thinking, hurry up and book a ticket to find her...... If you delay going to her because of your grandmother, whether your grandmother is alive or dead, she will have a great regret! ”

Grandma's insistence made my heart shake, and I decided to wait for Ade's reply, if Xiao Ai is still in Hsinchu County, even if the sky falls tomorrow, I will go to Taiwan once. I told my grandmother about the idea, and she was finally relieved.

……

Grandma was tired and needed to rest, so Yang Jin and I both withdrew from the ward, leaving only one caretaker to take care of in the ward.

In front of the square at the entrance of the hospital, Yang Jin and I stood face to face, and the time was already 6 o'clock in the afternoon, the sunset was a little hot and dry between the buildings, and the yellowed light fell at our feet, like a dream.

Yes, I never thought that we would have such opportunities in this life. But on the other hand, I just hate her, and I hate her and Jiang Jiyou for making me like an orphan. She will never understand, how guilty I am Zhao Mu and Zhao Chu's family, and I will not understand how my grandmother has survived with me all these years, let alone how inferior I am in the face of Chen Yi's parents and the world.

After a moment of silence, she finally spoke to me: "I have already booked a room for you at the Metropark Hotel for a long time, and I don't want to run back and forth between Nanjing and Shanghai in the future." ”

"I can't afford it."

"Mom doesn't mean anything else, she just doesn't want you to be too tired."

I sneered: "You mean, because you're back now, take care of my food, clothing, housing and transportation, and I can be relaxed?" …… Do you really not know how grandma and I have lived all these years? …… I don't need your compensation, and you don't have the opportunity to make it up. ”

"Jiangqiao, you are wrong...... This qiē that Mom is doing now is not compensation. All I want is for you to be able to live well in the future...... I also hope you can understand your mother's hardships over the years...... Mom didn't give up on you, but she didn't stay by your side when you needed mother's love the most, which is the biggest regret and pain in my life! ”

I looked at her, her face didn't show obvious pain, and she looked at me with the same look she had when we first met. I feel chills over this, will she really be in pain? If so, why is it so calm?

Seeing that I didn't respond, she said to me again: "If you are tired of the current way of life, and you are tired of the place of Nanjing...... Mom can find a way to get you to immigrate abroad...... Jin Qiu will go with you, and you can do a career abroad together...... I think that this completely different life will definitely bring you out of the shadows of the recent past. ”

Her words have indirectly admitted that Jin Qiu's rapid development since returning to China has benefited from her. But I didn't have the slightest interest in living abroad, but I was even more disgusted with their business combination, and I felt that my life was being manipulated by them......

At the moment when my love was about to explode, the ringtone of my mobile phone suddenly came from my pocket. I knew who was calling, so I restrained the surging emotions and took the phone out of my pocket.

My mood started to get nervous because the moment I answered the phone, Ade would bring me the news of Xiao Ai, I hope she is still staying in Hsinchu County, this is my last expectation!

I don't want to go abroad, I just want to follow in her footsteps, even if it's a wandering world.

For her, I dare to pursue and give up!