Looking at the two cards on the table, I looked at the middle-aged man again, and then said to him, "I want these two cards, you can go back and pay for it." ”

The middle-aged man who was originally going to bother with words didn't expect me to accept it so lightly, so that after being stunned for a while, he took out another business card and said to me: "This is my contact information, if you need help in the future, call me at any time." ”

"Okay, you can also leave ...... business card"

The middle-aged man nodded, and was about to leave, but at the moment he was about to turn around, he said to me again: "Call you Xiaojiang, I don't know if you mind...... I know that as your mother's assistant, I shouldn't say too much about your personal affairs, but there are some things that I probably know more than I know...... Mr. Yang, she is just a woman, not a saint...... She has her own difficulties, as well as her difficulties and inadequateness, but many things must be superficial if you judge them only on the surface. So after you calm down, you should try to give Mr. Yang some chances...... Between your mother and son, the most lacking thing right now is communication. ”

I smiled disdainfully, then replied, "You say there is a lack of communication between us? Okay, even if we don't communicate with each other, is it my responsibility or hers? …… It's been more than 20 years, but I've never moved the ground in Nanjing, even if it's a wood that can't speak, she should find it, so excuse me, is this this not giving her a chance to communicate, or does she not take me to heart at all? ”

The middle-aged man was speechless by what I said, stared at me for a long time, and then left in silence. But I didn't feel any better because of this, let me ask, if it weren't for the irreconcilable contradictions, who would want to turn away their biological mother thousands of miles away?

Then, without looking at it, I crumpled up the business card left by the middle-aged man and threw it into the trash bin next to me, I didn't need to know his name, let alone contact him.

……

Zhao Mu poured me another glass of beer and asked, "Brother Qiao, what happened just now, I don't understand what you said...... Is Auntie back? ”

I didn't rush to answer, and after drinking the wine in the cup, I said to Zhao Mu: "For so many years, I have always wanted to ask you a question. ”

Zhao Mu looked at me suspiciously, and then nodded.

"If it weren't for my drag back then, your parents might not have risked going to the river to fish, so that they encountered such a disaster, and later it even affected Zhao Chu, you should have a complete family!" …… When you think of this, do you blame me? ”

My words stabbed the most painful place in Zhao Mu's heart, so that he, who was not very good at drinking, also drank the wine in the cup in one gulp, and only replied in a low voice after a long time: "It's not your fault, you are also the victim of the whole incident." If your uncle and aunt hadn't abandoned you and left Nanjing, you would have grown up happily like your normal peers, and even your grandmother wouldn't have to suffer so many sins, and there would have been no tragedy in my family. Over the years, you have had a hard time, and you don't have a lot of choices. ”

I gritted my teeth, looked over Zhao Mu's shoulder, and looked at the city in front of me, which was bigger and more prosperous than Nanjing. But people's vision is limited after all, even if it claims to be the largest in the country, I can only see a corner of the land in front of me, unless I can fly, I can't open my eyes to see more distant places. And this is how I feel when I face Yang Jin, all I can see is the various shadows left by her and Jiang Jiyou in my heart.

I withdrew my gaze that it was impossible to look far away, and then said to Zhao Mu: "So, even if Yang Jin comes back now, I can't forgive her calmly...... It's not about what she is now, and what gorgeous changes it will bring to my future...... Because that's not what I want, and she'll never give it what I really care about! ”

"I can understand your feelings."

I glanced at Zhao Mu gratefully, his words made me untie a knot that had been in my heart for many years, I was afraid that he would blame me for the death of his parents and Zhao Chu, and I was already guilty enough!

At this time, Zhao Mu asked me again: "Brother Qiao, for so many years, I have also been curious, what is your pursuit?" …… Isn't it fame and fortune that countless people are fighting for, but few people can reap both? ”

I picked myself up another beer, and in the froth of the bubble, I seemed to look back and see my powerless and somewhat false life, because nothing I wanted to do was accomplished.

I didn't drink the cup of beer that had been bubbling all the time, and after staring at it for a long time, I replied to Zhao Mu: "My pursuit has to start when you were in college. At that time, I just wanted to get you through college and then give yourself a long vacation...... I want to ride a motorcycle, go to see the old stone bridge in Xitang, listen to the commentary in Suzhou, eat the incense pot in Changsha and drink the spirits of Kaifeng, live in the seaside homestay in Gulangyu, and then go to see the girls in Dongguan by the way...... Haha, in fact, these are all fantasized by Qiao Ye's stupid fantasies, but the ink is black, and I can't be high-end, but this feeling of chic freedom must not be wrong! ”

"That's all?"

I nodded, affirming that it was all, not that complicated. Zhao Mu asked again: "Later, what did you pursue later?" ”

In my memory, Zhao Mu and I hadn't had such a heart-to-heart chat for a long time, and I was very depressed in my heart, so I opened the conversation box and said to him: "Later, you are about to graduate, but you find that you really can't pull away, because Lao Jin's wedding company is only gasping for breath, and there are no people who do anything, if I leave, there will be no one to do many things...... Although I did save a little money for travel at that time, I still managed to leave it behind...... It was also at that time that Chen Yi's career was thriving, and I found myself getting farther and farther away from her, which really made me feel particularly depressed! So, I fantasized that one day in the future, we could fall in love and get married in this old alley. I always think that what do people need so much fame and fortune to do, just live comfortably. Therefore, during that time, I tried my best to save money, just to decorate the old house, so that I could live more comfortably with Chen Yi in the future, but I didn't even have the courage to confess to Chen Yi...... Stupid, right? ”

I finally drank the beer that I had been sitting for a while, and then said: "Later, Chen Yi moved out to live, I feel that my pursuit is over, in fact, it is impossible to think about it, because it is too ****** unrealistic!" ”

Zhao Mu smiled and said, "Chen Yi has Chen Yi's pursuit, and it is quite unrealistic to put his own pursuit above the pursuit of others. ”

As he spoke, he poured me another full glass of beer, which was refilled in time, as if my pursuit had never stopped. So, I said: "Later, I met Xiao Ai, originally we were not people of the same world, but I don't know why, we were able to live together, as if she supported me in whatever I did and what I wanted...... So we started a piano shop together. Gradually, I don't care so much about my pursuit, or rather, my pursuit just goes with the flow...... Of course, only if she is around. The drama is that just when I thought I could finally achieve it this time, it brought me another fire. It burned not only the piano shop we worked so hard to make, but also the love between me and her...... I'm still in a trance, and I can't believe she's got married so soon! ”

Zhao Mu sighed with me, and then raised his head and drank all the wine in the cup. And when I had finished my beer, I leaned back in my chair as if paralyzed, suddenly reluctant to speak, and I didn't know whether I was desperate for myself or disappointed in life.

I finally picked up the two cards on the table, called Zhao Mu, and walked to the nearby ATM on a whim, I took out the money in the card, and said to Zhao Mu: "There are 20,000 yuan in this card, which is the easiest money I have in my life...... But in my opinion, it is my enemy! All mercy towards the enemy is foolish, so I will resolutely destroy it...... Destroy them in a way that has never been experienced before. ”

"Brother Qiao, have you drunk too much?"

I stumbled on my feet and replied, "I didn't drink much...... I just want to make myself happy, and I'm going to get depressed if I go on like this! ”

……

The taxi drove me and Zhao Mu on a road outside the suburbs, which is very similar to the tulip road in Nanjing, where there will be no cramped pictures of people walking next to each other, and there will be no cold young man with a cigarette left.

It was a middle-of-the-road road, an inconspicuous one, but it evoked countless feelings hidden in my heart, and I opened the windows on all sides and stretched my head and hands out of the window. In an instant, the howling wind blew away my hair and the coins I was holding in my hand.

I wasn't drunk, not at all, but with a wave of my hand, the ten thousand dollars were scattered in the air, and they tumbled up and down like scraps of paper on the street without the brilliant neon, so that passers-by were stunned for a moment before realizing its value...... So, the people who saw it instantly fell into the madness that they could get, and I added fuel to the fire and scattered the remaining 10,000 yuan into the air, but there was no trace of distress in my heart, even if it was my salary for more than three months in the past......

I didn't drink too much, I didn't go crazy, I just felt happy, because I saw a dark night like stagnant water, restless by myself smashing 20,000 yuan, and the smell of robbery and rancid smell everywhere.

At this time, I am even more sure that most people would still choose to get something for nothing if they could, as they do now!

When I closed the window, the looting figures were still reflected in the glass, but they were fading away...... And I thought of her again, and remembered that when we were together, even though we were poor, we were still very happy. With her by my side, I have the confidence and arrogance to face this materialistic world, which is something that 10,000 Jin Qiu and Yang Jin can't give.

I was tired and tired, so I took out 100 yuan from my wallet, handed it to the driver, and told him, just so much money, where to run. He jokingly told me that if I didn't throw away the 20,000 yuan just now, he could take me around China, and then throw those unhappy lovers all the way, and when I returned to the original point, I would be a new person.

I laughed, I thought it was a good idea, but I couldn't go back, because sometimes a choice can mean a lifetime, like I wouldn't get another 20,000 dollars from somewhere else this night.

……

The driver was very calculating, and when the 100 yuan was just finished, he sent us to the place where we got on the bus, and did not throw us in the wilderness, which was not far from my grandmother's hospital and the Metropark Hotel where Yang Jin lived.

This night, Zhao Mu and I stayed in the hospital to take care of my grandmother, until the early morning of the next day, we made breakfast for my grandmother again.

This breakfast was a demarcation point, because Zhao Mu was going back to Nanjing to meet Yu Xin, and I was about to leave for Taiwan to find the woman who worried me but was not there at all.

I don't look down on myself for this, unless she tells me in person, she doesn't love and changes her mind, otherwise I'm willing to be stupid and willing to fall, and I'm going to go to her.

At the entrance of the hospital, Zhao Mu held the door of the taxi that had been opened, and I asked him, "When are you going to come back next time?" ”

"If there is no new job transfer, I will get the New Year."

"Well, be kind to yourself over there, and don't spend too much money."

"I'll take care of myself...... You are the same, I hope that the next time you come back, you will come out of the current bad situation and have a better time. ”

I smiled and wanted to say something more, but the driver over there had already urged Zhao Mu to get into the car for the third time, and he really couldn't keep it, so he waved his hand to me and sat in the car. And the moment the car disappeared from my sight, the sun seemed to dazzle a little more, and I couldn't look up to see the happy future he described to me.

……

Looking down at my feet, I put the backpack on my shoulder again, and then looked at the bus I was waiting for. In this process, I received a call from Qiao Ye, he was still in a hurry, I just connected, he asked directly: "Where are you?" I'll be at the hospital in 10 minutes at most. ”

"Go ahead, I'll be waiting for the airport bus at the platform, ready to go to the airport."

"Where are you going? The old lady doesn't care! ”

"Don't say that, even if you want to go to Taiwan, you won't stay for too long."

Qiao Ye on the other end of the phone was silent for a few seconds, and then made a decision, he said, "If it's not too long, buddy will go with you." ”

"No, you're busy."

"What are you talking about, I used to burden you with the blame, this time you are in trouble, I can't help much, but if you can't spare time to accompany your brother to relax, it will be too much to say......"

Before I could reply, he said, "Don't ink, wait for me at the hospital, and we'll drive directly to the airport later." ”

Seeing him so gracious, I couldn't resist it. Thinking about it again, maybe I, who have been used to carrying everything by myself over the years, should indeed open my heart and talk to my friends. What's more, Qiao Ye is really a friend by my side who can make friends for life.

It's just that I never thought that Qiao Ye and I would end up on the same path, and I would have a mother who couldn't see through anything except money. However, perhaps it is because of Qiao Ye's experience that I am not interested in the life she wants to give me at all.

I want to ask: Qiao Ye's family is rich enough and awesome enough, but has he really been happy all these years?