Destiny

God, it was starting to snow, another winter was coming, and I vaguely remember this time last year, when people called me a "Cabinet Fellow". Because last winter, when I was still sick, I was taking the western medicine clozapine, maybe because I took this medicine, I don't like to go out to play. In the afternoon, I honestly stayed at home, stayed in my bedroom, stayed in my study, and read some old feudal and Confucian books.

Walking alone on the streets of the city in a hurry, it seems that there is a little estrangement from the world, a little strange, and a few layers of window paper. People call me a Cabinet Fellow.

Now, a year later, I still stay in the bedroom in the afternoon, in the study, but the difference is that now in front of me is a Taiwanese ASUS laptop, I already have a job, I already go to work, just like this at home for an afternoon typing. I'm already an online writer, and I think that now, when I get off work at 4:30 p.m., walking down the street, people will no longer call me a cabinet scholar, people will call me an online writer.

Regardless of injustice or fate, don't say butterfly dreams, return you to this life, both fly by, and live forever. If you ask me what I do? I will tell you that I am the deputy director of the Daobei Police Station in Xigong District, Luoyang City, named Mao Binglei, and the people on this street generally call me Xiao Mao, and sometimes they call me Xiao Mao Ye when they worship me.

After a year, I have subdued Confucianism and led the Tu Shibin, and I have calmed down all the chaos in this street. With the help of my subordinates, I have already avenged my big and small enemies.

Today, I don't have to take those messy psychiatric drugs anymore, I have joined the work, I have found a job on the Internet, and now, I am an online writer in Nanjing, and I live a very calm life. And part-time as a security guard in our police station community. I think I'm the most wishful person in the world, at least, at this moment, I am.

But I will not forget that my happiness and satisfaction are based on the sacrifices of others.

This reminds me of when I was a child, living in my hometown Zhumadian Zhuli Development Zone, living in a coal yard, and living in the honeycomb coal yard opened by my uncle. At that time, no one cared about me, no one cared about me at that time, and I lived that kind of free life without being bullied. Perhaps, at that time, I was like a free fish, paddling the years of childhood.

I remember that one night, my uncle gambled with Mao Guohai, Mao Weidong, and Mao Guoyao in the Development Zone, and lost a lot of money.

In the evening, he got drunk again, staggered home with a wine bottle alone, and when he got home, he had a big fight with the third aunt, making the family stop, chickens and dogs jumping, and even beating people. I was young at the time. Actually, I can see that my aunt has no malicious intentions, she just wants to manage him, I want him to be like a person, and I want him to be like a good person.

He committed murder, he beat my aunt, and I was young, but I couldn't help much.

Then he fell asleep, and he slept drunk alone in the Simmons double bed in the coal yard office. However, in the second half of the night, he did not know whether he remembered or dreamed of something, and he woke up.

Then, he lay on the bed alone and wept bitterly.

The aunt held the child in her arms, and when she whispered in the middle of the night, the aunt told him: "I just want to take care of you, because I am your wife, and I have an obligation to take care of you." No matter what time it is, you are my concern. If I die, I'm no longer your concern. ”

Later, the third uncle wrote a poem on the wooden door of the room, and I have forgotten the poem I wrote, but I remember the sentence: "The prodigal son turns back, and the gold is not exchanged!" ”

Now, I'm grown up, I'm still not married, I've always been a single writer, I'm alone, I've been in the wind and rain, I'm still the deputy director of a police station, I'm still a soldier, I'm a marine, I'm still a member of the Central Department of the Chinese Communist Youth League.

My official position is much bigger than that of my uncle, who is only a village chief. When I was younger, I also dreamed of growing up to get married, have children, and have a warm home like my uncle.

However, I was wrong, I am still a scholar, wandering the rivers and lakes. There is a vast sea of people, and you will not know me. You won't find me. I fly silently in the sky, and I walk quietly in the water. I never understood what love was all my life? Because I was destined to be a scholar......