Li Zishan, dressed in a white business attire, walked out of the car carrying a black Hermes handbag. She is about 3o years old, in fact, she is 3o years old, and she does not look younger than her actual age, which is related to her dress, at a glance, she is a woman with a successful career, her body reveals a steady, accurate, ruthless fierceness, if there is no special experience, it is impossible to have this temperament at this age. And this kind of temperament is also present in Jin Qiu's body, but it is different.

After entering the hotel, Li Zishan sat down across from me. The plane tree outside the glass window is facing us directly, and the beer and lobster on the table are showing a trace of unreality under the projection of the tree, just like me and Li Zishan at this moment. We sat together on such an afternoon, and while we weren't sure what we were going to talk about, it was an incredible thing.

She was not polite, picked up a bottle of beer from the table, poured herself a glass, held it up to me, and drank it down.

I also finished the glass and looked at her. In my heart, this woman is filthy, and her body is full of copper stench and the erosion of her private life.

So, I asked her unkindly, "What are you looking for me?" ”

Li Zishan was not in a hurry to answer, but leaned over to me slightly, and asked, "Can you tell me first, what kind of woman am I, Li Zishan, in your mind?" ”

"Femme fatale."

Li Zishan was stunned for a moment, and then sneered.

I didn't look at her with my eyes, but I didn't feel that there was anything wrong with me describing her like this, and under her beautiful appearance, she did have a black heart that could kill people at any time.

She finally spoke up to me, "I don't expect you to have any good feelings for me, but I still want to tell you that it makes no sense that you are hostile to me because of Xiao Mingquan. He deserves this fate today, even if he is not planted in my hands, he will be planted in the hands of others. For him, the only difference is that being planted in the hands of his little wife will make him even more faceless and look more miserable. ”

I looked at her, wondering what she was trying to say to me, and if that was what she was looking for me, I felt like I could get her out right now.

Li Zishan fell into a brief silence, she closed her eyes, as if remembering some of the past. After a while, he said to me again: "I am a woman from the countryside, my hometown is in Huaining County, Anhui Province, a small county town that was rarely seen even with ten floors before O3 years!" I live in the most remote village in the county. You can imagine how backward the educational resources there are, and how many hardships I went through to be admitted to Nanjing University of the Arts......"

I interrupted her and said, "I'm not interested in hearing you talk about these personal experiences, you just come to me for something." ”

"No, you listen to me first, what I want to talk to you about is not my personal experience, but this real society."

I looked patiently at her......

She pulled out a box of women's cigarettes from her handbag and lit them in front of me. After taking a hard sip, he spoke to me again: "In fact, after seeing through this society and the relationship between people, you will feel that everything is just a game, but what I Li Zishan is playing is precisely the most dangerous one...... Once, like Xiao Ai, I was full of pursuit of singing and performing arts, but I was not as lucky as hers. In this circle of temptation and dealing, I have no ability to protect myself at all......" said this, her face was full of memories, but full of pain.

She was about to finish the lady's cigarette in her hand before she opened her mouth again: "It was my first winter after I walked out of college. I went to other provinces to perform on behalf of the performing arts company...... After the performance, I wanted to go back to the hotel to rest, but the boss of the company insisted that I accompany him to a dinner. At that time, I simply didn't have the ability to cope with such a meal...... That day, I was so drunk by them that I didn't know how I got back to the hotel...... When I woke up the next day, I was sleeping next to an old man who was fat like a pig and had bad breath...... My first time was ruined by him......"

Speaking of this, Li Zishan closed her eyes and raised her head, and spit out the cigarette in her mouth with resentment. She continued what she had just said and said: "I subconsciously wanted to call the police, but I was beaten up by that old man, and he asked me to get acquainted. He said that with his status today, I don't know how many little actors like me want to sleep with him, and it is the greatest honor in my life that I was slept with by him...... Then, he took out another 10,000 yuan from his bag and threw it in front of me, and then gave me two ways. He said: If I dare to call the police, I will never want to mix in this circle; If I choose to get acquainted, the 10,000 yuan will be mine, and it will fund me to release a solo album......"

"So, you chose the latter?"

Li Zishan looked at me, then pressed the cigarette into the ashtray fiercely, and she replied, "Do you think I have a choice?" Even if I call the police, with that person's local power, it will not be useful, and he will say that I have slept with him voluntarily...... For him, the damage is nothing more than a little fame. Moreover, this is the bureau set up by our boss to curry favor with him, and if I do call the police, I will lose this job and my reputation will be ...... What's more, my family was already destitute in order to train me to go to this school, and my grandfather also got cancer that year, not to mention the medical expenses, and even the money for posthumous affairs...... So, I really need this 10,000 yuan and the opportunity to release a record, and I have no other choice! …… On that day, when I came out of the hotel, the whole city was covered in snow, and stepping on those white snows, I seemed to see the end of my life at a glance...... I thought about dying, and I stood by the moat for a long time, until I received a call from my dad saying that my mom was also sick and needed money for treatment...... I don't even have the qualifications to choose death! ”

Speaking of this, Li Zishan forcibly held back the tears that were rolling in her eyes, she sniffed, picked up the wine glass in front of her, and drank the whole glass of beer inside......

I've been through so much, it's impossible not to understand the suffering of this world, I sympathize with her a little, but this doesn't mean that her image will change in my heart, I have my own set of right and wrong, she is wrong is wrong.

calmed down the pain in her heart a little, Li Zishan continued: "That afternoon, I sent the 10,000 yuan given by the old man back to my hometown, which can be regarded as a relief from the urgent need...... Later, the old man came to Nanjing several times, and each time he would have a relationship with me...... Then give me a little money. During that time, I couldn't even tell if I was someone else's mistress or if I wasn't even as good as a young lady...... But the good thing is that because of this money, my mother cured her illness, and my grandfather finally finished his funeral...... It was from that time that I had a particularly clear understanding of what I gained and what I lost...... I don't regret my choice, and if it weren't for it, my family would have been doomed...... But not regretting it doesn't mean not feeling ashamed...... A year later, I approached the old man and asked to end the sordid relationship. He asked me to follow him for another year and said he would buy me a small apartment in Nanjing......"

I asked, "This time, how did you choose?" ”

After being silent for a long time, Li Zishan raised her head to look at me and replied, "I chose to refuse...... I want to leave a little dignity for myself at the end, because at that time, I still believed in love! I don't have much left, and I don't want to sell my last heart because of a house...... I made up my mind that I wanted to go back to school to take the graduate school entrance examination, and I could only make myself better, so that I could be worthy of the man who could make my heart flutter in the future...... Perhaps, you don't believe it, at that time, I just wanted to find a man I loved, marry, and then form a small family. I can say goodbye to my beloved stage for this small family, as long as life is warm and simple...... It was at that time that I met Xiao Mingquan, who was famous in Nanjing. ”