Leaving the hospital, Qiao Ye left first, Chen Yi and I walked on the overpass next to a square, because it was close to night, so there were no pedestrians on the bridge, but there were some kites flying people in the square, those kites were glow-in-the-dark, and the twinkling stars in the sky reflected each other, making people very trance, and it was difficult to distinguish the real from the fake.

In such an environment, I habitually lit a cigarette for myself, and Chen Yi slowed down, and then stopped in a place with the widest view, lying on the guardrail of the overpass and looking at the so-called largest city in the country, while I leaned back on the railing, looking up at the night sky and stars everywhere.

At this moment, we all have our own ideas.

After standing for a while, Chen Yi turned her body and looked at me at the same angle, the lights of the city were getting farther and farther away from us at this moment, so much so that we all forgot that we were between the oppressive high-rise buildings, and the sound of trucks passing by kept whistling in our ears, and the wind never stopped, blowing away her hair and the soot in my hands.

She pinned her hair neatly behind her ears, and finally smiled and asked me, "Jiang Qiao, will you accept your parents' arrangement to marry Jin Qiu?" ”

I pinched the cigarette off my hand, and in the face of the wind blowing from the open space, I asked her, "Do you think I will?" Or, do you think I should marry her? ”

"I don't know, but if you marry her, it will make everything look good, and all the pain you went through before doesn't seem to hurt so much. After all, she is really a very capable woman who will help you a lot in the rest of your life...... So the person your mom approves of will be her! ”

"Go ******."

As I spoke, I took out another cigarette from the cigarette case and lit it, Chen Yi looked at me with some consternation, she didn't know who I was scolding.

I looked at her, squinted and took a puff on my cigarette, and then said, "I'm scolding this thing, not someone...... I don't need anyone to advise in my life, and I don't need others to make decisions for me. ”

Chen Yi patted his chest and replied, "I thought you were scolding your mother!" ”

"I won't scold her, I just hate her and don't want to see her."

"So you've already given the answer, you won't marry Jin Qiu, right?"

I nodded, and didn't say much, because I felt redundant, and Chen Yi asked me this question, which was redundant in itself. I hope that I can be a person who loves and hates clearly at this time, I love everything Lao Jin has done for me over the years, I hate Yang Jin for not wanting me, and I want to dominate my marriage. If she does this, it will only make Jin Qiu and me destroy each other, and it is too nonsense to talk about happiness between us!

When the cigarette in his hand was half-smoked, it hung in the distance, and the originally bright light began to flicker and dim. I know that it is my heart that is not at peace, not that the city is melted by the lights, like candles.

Inadvertently, in this picture, I saw a piano shop under the bridge that had not yet closed, with many guitars of different colors hanging in it.

Looking at this, I suddenly didn't want to say goodnight to the city, and I thought of the woman who gave me the guitar...... She stood at the faintest point of the light and looked at me!

I was awake, and I knew it was just an illusion, because I missed her too much. I should have smashed everything she had left to remind me of her, and laughed it off; I should go in the direction of not having her and taste a pot of spirits. In short, she is the woman in my life who will never come back as soon as she is like a youth, why should I force myself to be her second minister?

……

Chen Yi next to me also seemed to have thoughts, I finally paid attention to her, and then asked her, "What are you thinking?" ”

"I don't want anything...... It's been a long time since I've seen a city in such a state, and I feel like a person wandering on the edge of the city, not daring to speak out loud or gasping hard! ”

I sighed, "You don't look like an insecure person. ”

Chen Yi looked at me and smiled, then fell into silence again, and then said to me again after a long time: "Jiang Qiao, haven't we talked like this for a long time, even if we don't have anything to say, we don't feel embarrassed...... But as long as you open your mouth, you can talk about it. ”

I smiled with her and asked, "Tell me, is there anything you'd like to talk to me about?" ”

"I don't care about anything now, I just want to know how you plan to live in the future...... You may not know that our house in the old alley has been demolished, and if you go back now, there is basically no trace of the old alley. ”

There was a sourness in my heart that I couldn't stop, and I didn't even want to blink my eyes, and just looked at the flickering lights until everything became blurred in my vision. At the moment, I am very sad!

To me, that old alley is like a woman, but in the prime of life, it was ruined by a group of profit-chasing people. And it is those who reap the benefits, and it is those of us who love her who are suffering, so she becomes our most painful faith. But even so, so what? We are born to be ravaged by interest groups, and our faith is a fart in their eyes, light and floating, and weightless!

I finished the cigarette in my hand, but the cigarette butt kept holding it in my hand and refused to throw it away, and I replied to Chen Yi: "Don't ask me about my future life, because I haven't come out of the past that I have lost...... As for the old house, let's demolish it, I've been worrying about it for the past few days, how to pay off the 2 million I owe Qiao Ye. Now that the house has been demolished, I have a bottom in my heart, as long as it is not developed into a mess, I can get the house and exchange it for money to return to Qiao Ye, maybe I can still balance hundreds of thousands, after all, the housing prices on Tulip Road are also rising, and 10,000 yuan a square is always no problem, right? ”

Chen Yi looked at me and didn't say anything for a long time, maybe because what I gave her was not the answer she wanted. However, now I am oppressed by reality to the point of being very insecure, and I want to repay Qiao Ye's money, as well as the 2 million indirectly given by Yang Jin. As for the future, I'm not qualified to envision it yet.

I don't think there are many people in Nanjing who will be like me Jiangqiao, who owed 4 million yuan in debt in his 20s.

……

I threw away the cigarette butt in my hand in my frustration, and walked briskly towards the piano under the overpass. After pushing open the glass door, I stood abruptly in front of the owner of the pigtailed piano store, and I asked him, "Boss, I want to learn guitar, how do you charge here?" ”

The boss was stunned for a moment before replying: "Our side is charged by class hours. ”

I nodded, took the fee sheet from his hand, and looked at it carefully.

I don't know why, although I tried very hard to escape, I still didn't want to forget her, and I was reluctant to smash the guitar she gave me.

Perhaps, deep down in my heart, I am still looking forward to the day when I will learn to perform with the guitar, and then take the blue guitar she gave me, go to her at the ends of the world, and play and sing the songs she once sang to me all the way...... I love the song "Drifting Across the Sea to See You".

Such a heartfelt song made me feel how much she loved me, so should I look at her marriage with a more tolerant attitude?

I was lost, but I knew I couldn't forget her, and I missed her more than ever. Otherwise, why would you go into such an inconspicuous piano shop like a convulsive to learn something that you are not good at at all? Just to make yourself closer to her!

I'm not crazy, I'm just getting more and more strange to myself, I shouldn't be struggling so meaninglessly, but I can't control myself!

...